AN: Hey! This chapter is about Ted and Robin finally figuring things out, so we can move on to the important things (swarkles ;-) ). So, i hope you enjoy. Please let me know, if I did exaggerate too much and/ or if Ted and Robin were halfway in character. Would mean a lot. Thanks for reading. 3
To say Robin is just nervous would be a huge understatement. Her hands are sweating badly and her heart races. She arrives at Ted´s house and rings the doorbell. Ted opens almost immediately and waves her in. He seems to be pretty excited, he doesn´t even try to kiss or hug her. Ted gives her a glass of some wine and leads her to the living room. When she walks in, she can´t believe what she sees.
The whole living room is lit by an estimated amount of 300 candles, the floor full of rose petals and blue instruments are lying around everywhere. Robin can´t believe her eyes when she sees a blue piano. A really big FUCKING BLUE PIANO. She doesn´t know what to say or do, he just stands there really shocked. "What the hell is he doing? Oh my god, please someone tell me he is not going to…", she can´t even bring her thought to an end, because Ted is kneeling in front of her with a small box. Her eyes widened and he starts, "Robin Scherbatsky, will you…". But he can´t bring his proposal to an end because Robin interrupts him, "Ted, no, what are you doing. You can´t be serious. No, oh god, no, please stop!"
Ted´s smile fades away. Has he heard right? Has she actually said no? "Are you serious Robin? No? What do you mean with no?"
"What I mean? I mean that you should stop! We haven´t seen each other in years, we aren´t even properly dating and you propose to me? What is wrong with you?"
"Oh, so it´s suddenly a problem, or what?"
"What is suddenly a problem?"
"Engaging with someone you don´t even date. Sure, there is the possibility, I´m wrong, but as far as I remember you and Barney went from ´not even dating´ to ´engaged´ as well!"
"You can´t compare this Ted. This was a complete different situation!"
"In what way was that different?"
Robin sighs. She feels horribly, the whole triangle nightmare of her, Ted and Barney seems to come to a new level. She is so exhausted and tired of all of that.
"Ted, no, please, I don´t want to talk about that now. That was years ago and I´m tired of talking about this again and again."
"I knew, I should´ve asked you right away. It was so clear, you are overthinking again."
"So you think it would´ve been better, if you had asked me when you came with the blue French horn, I may had said yes and then changed my mind?"
"No, but you may would have agreed to marry me and then you wouldn´t have backed out afterwards. You wouldn´t hurt my feelings that bad to get my hopes up high for a wedding and then leave me alone."
"Then you would´ve been okay with marrying me while knowing I´m not happy and want out?"
"No, it´s just…"
"Ted, listen to me. You always rush things. You tell people you are in love with them on your first date and now you immediately propose to me! You are so afraid that a woman runs away from you, that you do everything to settle them down as soon as possible. There was only one exception: Tracy. You have been a normal guy with her, you let the things take their course. Because she was the right one. I´m just saying, maybe it indeed is a sign, I´m not right for you, when you have the feeling you have to make me yours because I won´t stay any other way."
"So with Barney it was the same? You didn´t work out because he proposed too fast?"
"No", she answers sadly, "you guys didn´t get everything between me and Barney. There were moments before, it´s complicated. It has jus been different, okay?"
"Tracy was the One.", Ted says out of the blue, feeling his eyes watering. "I can´t do this without her. I searched for the One for years, then I finally find her but loose her not much later."
"Ted, you had some wonderful years with her. More than some people ever get with each other.", Robin answers, not without thinking of her and Barney who were only given 3 years.
"Tell me why."
"Why what?"
"Why don´t you want to be with me?"
"I never said that I don´t want to be with you. I only said, I don´t want to marry you immediately."
"But you want to be with me?"
Ted gives her a look of hope. She knows, she will hurt him. If not now, it will happen sometime in the future.
"No. I´m so sorry, Ted. You know, I often wished I would love you the way you love me, but I just don´t. There where times, where I wanted me to want you, because you were the safer choice and I knew you love me so much, you would never hurt me. But things changed. I can´t change my feelings. Actually, I reminisced about the past a little bit yesterday and I realized, all the things happening can have many points of views. Even if you think someone will hurt you eventually and you should not be with that person, it can turn out that this one person was the one that not only tried everything to make you happy, but also changed for the better and would be the last one to actually hurt you. Even if all the others think this person can never change, you fall in love with him anyways and even if it´s not to be meant forever, you still can have the time of your life and remember every moment of it in awe. Because actually it has been the best time of your life."
Ted can´t help but smile, "Woah, what happened? The commitment-phobic Robin who always refused to talk about relationships changed into a wise life-guru."
"Oh yeah, life experiences had made me wise. Things I threw away without fighting for it are the reason for that I think. I only realized back in New York how much I wished I would´ve fight more and wish that moments back."
"You talk about Barney, aren´t you?", Ted asks, but not without sounding bitter, Robin recognizes.
"What? Why Barney?", Robin tries to talk her way out of it.
"Cut that, Robin. I knew you were with him last night."
Robin is speechless for a second. When she finally finds her words again, she says angrily, "What? Oh my gosh, he didn´t pull the same shit as you did when calling him and telling him we were back together, didn´t he?"
"No, to be fair, he didn´t", Ted says, not without recognizing Barney must have told Robin about his call.
"Oh, really? So how do you know?"
"Don´t get mad, okay?"
"I won´t if you don´t give me any reason to be mad."
Ted gulped, "You weren´t answering your phone and I drove to your apartment, but you weren´t there, so I did some research… and it actually brought me to Barney´s new home. Hope you had a fun night in bed with him."
"Okay, first of all: Don´t even try to make me feel bad about this, me and Barney didn´t do anything else but talking and secondly: HOW DO YOU DARE TO SPY ON ME?", Robin screams at Ted.
"I was worried, okay? I thought you may get back together with Barney. I tried to protect you. I didn´t want him to get you again and taking you away from me."
Robin is really angry now, "That doesn´t give you the right to turn into a stalker! And you don´t have to protect me! I have a brand new information for you Ted: Women are NOT mindless. They have a free will and can decide for themselves. I´m not anyone´s property. So stop talking like Barney is some creeper who wants to rape me. I´ve been with him because I WANTED to, I slept with him, because I wanted to do and I married him because I freaking wanted to. Yes, I had doubts at the wedding, I can remember that, but it was because as long as I knew you and the rest of the gang, you always warned me about the bad playboy Barney. You know what? Sometimes I had doubts about myself. I thought something is wrong with me, because in my eyes, he was actually a really good friend. Of course, his plays were really sick sometimes, but he never did anything intentionally bad to his friends. When I slept with him for the first time, you all treated me like some poor victim and Barney like the biggest asshole. Everytime, I came closer to Barney, I always thought about how you guys will react. Barney was mean to many girls, but he always treated ME right- and that´s the thing that counts for me. And to your information, you don´t own me. Nobody can take me away from you, because I´m not yours. I´m not a thing anyone can steal from you! I´m an independent woman who cares for herself!"
"Woah, sorry okay. You don´t have to scream at me. I just tried to prevent you from making a big mistake."
"A big mistake? How can you talk about him like that? He´s your best friend."
"Marshall is my best friend."
This line leads to Robin´s anger exploding, "I´M SORRY. Then, Marshall is your best friend. I don´t care. Even if he´s not your best friend, I always thought you were friends! Nothing gives you the right to talk about him like that!"
"Did he tell you why we don´t talk anymore?"
"Yes, he did and you´re an asshole, if that´s the only reason you´re not talking to him anymore."
"WHAT? He compared me and Tracy with your guys´ marriage! Me and Tracy were soulmates!"
"Me and Barney were too!"
"You were not! Your marriage would have lasted if you were!"
"You don´t even know what really happened, okay? But the main reason we actually parted was that we both thought we make the other one unhappy. WE ACTUALLY CARED FOR EACH OTHER`S FEELINGS! We just didn´t talk about them. Otherwise, we may….", Robin suddenly stops.
"Otherwise you may be still together, or what?"
"I don´t know."
Silence is spreading in the room.
"Do you want to be with him again?", Ted finally breaks the awkward silence.
"Ted, don't be mad, but I don´t want to talk to you about this. I swore myself, I´ll never let other people judge my life again and tell me what´s good or not or what I should do and what not. The only reason I came today, was to talk to you and end this thing. I think we just aren´t meant to be Ted."
"Okay", was everything Ted managed to say.
When he doesn´t say another word, Robin starts speaking again, "I think I should go now, huh?"
"Yes, you better. Goodbye, Robin.", Ted says sadly.
Robin walks out of the door. She feels kinda bad for him, but it´s the best for all of them.
Ted feels tears coming again when he´s sitting all alone in the living room. Once again, he lost Robin. The pain was as bad as always. He finally stands up and takes some photo albums out of his shelf and looks at them. He finds a picture of him and Tracy. Ted can remember the moment shown on this picture very well. It was their night out when they realized they finally know all of each other´s stories. One line comes to his mind: "Ted, I don´t want you to be the guy who lives in his stories." He finally realizes what she meant with that. He had good times, but they are over now. He should look into the future with his beautiful children and not living in the past. Ted closes the albums, smiles and thinks to himself, "She always knew me better than I did myself. She knew all along it would be a mistake to run back to Robin or to run back to my past of a forcefully-searching-for-the-one-creep at all. I indeed had a wise wife."
And after all, though nobody thought this day would ever come, Ted Mosby finally manages to keep the past as wonderful memories in his heart, but lets them go at the same time, concentrating on the future.