summary

In this chapter Emma learns the truth and has to deal with many emotions. I tried to imagine what it would be like for her. There's been some people giving Emma grief in this one, that she should get over herself but its not as much about that as it is that she is completely torn between Hook and Regina and mostly because of the magic that made her think Hook was her True Love. So imagine being with someone for that long even if tricked real feelings can develop and complicate it even further BUT in this chapter she learns some things that may change her mind.

==Notes

Ok guys we are more than half way thru the journey here. Thanks for sticking with me on this. Just to be clear, the potion Killian used is more of a love potion not a roofie. Basically what it did was made Emma think he was her True Love. That's why she was so torn between him and Regina. Magic can't make you love someone but it can make you think you do but because Regina is Emma's True Love she was still drawn to her. And because it made her think this of Hook she couldn't see thru his lies like she normally can. I hope that explains where I was going with this.

"What the hell are you talking about Regina?" Emma's eyebrows scrunched in the middle and her disbelief and confusion won out. Emma could see the sympathy on Ella, Henry and Lucy's faces which only meant one thing: Regina had told them everything so they know what this really fully means if it is true. Regina knew telling them was a gamble especially Henry, after everything they have been through but after all he really already knew parts of it. He never really understood his mother's relationship with Hook either so this actually made more sense.

"Mom, I know this is a lot to take in but just watch the crystal ball and you will see. It actually explains a lot if you think about it, why Hook's kiss didn't break the dark one's curse, why true love didn't save him from Hell, why you assumed he left, when he was kidnapped. I mean Mom always found you and saved you and you did the same but he never was enough." Emma throws her hands up "Stop Henry, just stop. This is too much, how do I know it's not a trick! I mean no offense Regina, but isn't this something you could conjure up to win me back?" She doesn't really believe Regina would trick her but she can't wrap her head around this, this is huge and she can't understand how she didn't see through this. She prides herself on knowing when someone is lying so this makes her question who she is.

"I swear Emma, I would never do that to you. I don't want something fake. I don't want you to be with me because you are tricked into it. I want you to be with me because you want to, it's your choice and you're in love with me. The last thing I wanted to discover was something like this, I know this only complicates everything. I just felt you should know." Regina reached out and grabbed Emma's hands, placing the ball in them while holding them gently with her own. Their eyes locked and Emma knew she wasn't lying. She honestly felt worse, as she suddenly realized years of her life had been a lie. Years of her life wasted, hurting, regretting, and longing for something she couldn't have but should have had all along.

"Emma this is not my magic, it's Tink's; feel for yourself." And as Emma's wide eyes with shock looked into the ball, all the scenes from Neverland unfolded within the crystal in her hands. Regina had backed away to allow her some space to digest. Besides, she needed Emma to know this was not her doing. Emma saw it all, she even could hear Pan telling Hook what to do. They had made a deal, this potion was Hook's reward and she felt betrayed and disgusted. She saw the exact moment everything had changed, she had drank the potion before he dared her to kiss him and that is when something had sparked and she started falling into this fake love with him. Ugh she was angry, hurt, betrayed and frustrated beyond belief. He kept up this lie all this time and actually married her, what the hell. "Fuck!" Emma turned in circles, not knowing what to do, all she wanted was to run away but obviously that was not an option.

"I knew something felt off but I thought I was just confused because of you." She looked to Regina and gave her the ball back. "I never could understand why I couldn't stay away, couldn't resist you. I thought maybe it was because we had something we didn't allow ourselves to explore before, we had this unspoken relationship that never actually was explored until it was and it was everything and more than I dreamed. But I couldn't truly have it and I felt stuck, I don't know how to feel anymore. Somehow I still have love for him, is that even real?" She holds the crystal ball still wanting to smash it but its not hers to damage, she looks at the ground and then back up.

"Oh my God, what have I done?! He let me believe this was real and married me for God sakes. What kind of a coward does this?! What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? What about Hope? What do I tell her? Do I leave him? Can this be fixed?"

Regina closed the space between them and handed off the ball to Ella. She gently grabbed Emma's face in her hands and stroked her cheek. "Emma, everything will work out. Right now you need to figure out what you want, if you want to confront Killian about this or if you want to stay with him. I know over time your feelings for him may have become real. We will be here for support but this is something you have to work through. I don't know if this magic can be undone but I will help in any way I can."

Emma's face fell, she didn't want to face him. Not now, not ever, he convinced her to stay and for what? "I need to go home and think. I can't..this is too much." "Mom, we can go with you if you want." "No I just need to be alone. I just can't believe this. I know you all are not lying and Regina I know this wasn't you. It just still seems like a trick but somehow I know it's not, I just feel so conflicted, still so loyal to him UGH. I just need to be sure, I need some time."

Regina and the other's stayed in Storybrooke for the day just in case, they knew Emma needed time but they wanted to be close in case she needed them. Who knew how Hook would react when cornered with this, especially as upset as Emma was.

Emma went home and started searching the house, her excuse for time was really just a way to be alone. She was on a mission to find proof. She had no idea what she was looking for, just something that could tell her this was a lie and he didn't do this. Emma knew some of their things were in storage from their visit to Neverland but most of it was on the Jolly Roger and she wasn't sure if she should go there quite yet. She called David and found out Killian was out helping Patrol since she had been torn away from work so she made her way to the ship. No one had been on it for a while, to her knowledge. It was dusty and had boxes everywhere.

She was exhausted from going through the drawers, rooms, closets and boxes in the shed at their house and now she was still searching on this boat. She cursed herself knowing there was nothing to find but she couldn't help but think if she could find the canteen that had once held the potion maybe she could verify if it really was magic or not. I mean how much of lie detector was she if she had no idea this was fake, what did that say about her? She was about to give up when she saw something sticking out on the side of the inner wall of the desk. It looked like an extra piece of wood that shouldn't be there. She went to pull it out and the side panel popped open. Papers fell out onto the floor. "What the hell?" She was dumbstruck when she realized what this was. She no longer needed the canteen, she had everything she needed and she was pissed. So pissed that she could feel her magic emanating from her and it was about to get out of no longer questioned anything except how she could be so stupid, so blind. She has everything she needs to confront him now. She had never been more betrayed in her entire life and that was saying a lot.