Chapter X
"Lucius, things have changed, we will have to have the wedding tomorrow. Something about the officiant not being available today."
"That's no problem brother, I have no plans for this weekend."
Both men were in the private fitting area of Twilfit & Twittings, a perk only afforded to a choice few, Severus not being one of them, but being friends with Lucius did have its benefits.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in white robes? You know…virginal purity and all?" Lucius waved his elegantly manicured hand at Severus while hiding a smirk.
"You know for someone that struts around like a gay peacock most of the time, you take great liberties in mocking me Lucius." Severus shot back as he adjusted the front of his robes.
Severus ignored the peals of laughter from Lucius and tugged at the sleeves of the robe. He really didn't see why he needed new robes; didn't the groom always wear black anyway? Most of his…no, come to think of it all of his robes were black.
"Do not think I will let you walk into wedded matrimony dressed in the same robes you attended meetings with Voldemort."
They both spit and exclaimed in unison, "May he rot in hell!"
"This is the longest I have ever taken to purchase anything, let alone robes Lucius, these will do just fine."
Turning to the shop owner and ignoring any further protests from Severus he asked for the midnight blue robes with a silvery white lining in the same size that Severus had on now.
"Well if you insist Lucius." Severus decided to make the best of his friend's generosity and secured a new pair of dragon hide boots and some new pants. He needed the new boots and he would never buy silk boxers on a teacher's salary, so let the peacock pay.
"You know, dressed as you are today and me in these new robes we look like a pair of Muggle magicians, all we need is a white tiger and glitter!"
"Quit your complaining, you sound like an old maid!
Come let us get some lunch, Draco said he would be meeting us. He is very excited his godfather is getting married. I will leave it up to you to tell him to whom." Lucius smiled as he exited the shop.
"Bloody hell, the boy will have a field day!"
Severus could just imagine the look on Draco's face when he found out. Severus knew he would be mercilessly teased during lunch between Draco and Lucius he suddenly realized he might have preferred the white robes to this.
I need a drink, a stiff drink…hmmm stiff…Severus…stay focused Hermione.
Hermione stood inside the dressing room at Madame Malkin's. The robes chosen by Lavender and Ginny were almost indecent. 'I mean are my breasts supposed to be this close to my chin?'
I mean really, one of them made her look like those painted pirate wenches on the cover of those trashy romance novels one could find at the market check-out line.
She wondered what Severus would look like with wind swept hair, his white shirt torn open billowing in the sea air, black knee high boots as he pillaged and plundered her body, his ahem… mast standing stiff and tall. This fantasy was getting away from her as she really considered buying the pirate hooker dress.
Hermione did have to admit that a few of them did make her look damn good.
She finally decided on a set of robes that looked more Muggle. She had seen the set of robes off to the end of a rack that was marked as clearance. Hermione could only imagine that it was at a reduced price because they didn't look like traditional robes, it looked more like something Hermione remembered seeing in a magazine at her parent's practice.
The dress was an empire cut waist with a strapless bodice in a crisscross pattern. The cut worked to elongate Hermione's figure making her look taller than she was. The slimming effect of the cut and the Swiss dot tulle material that flowed around her made her look and feel like an angel.
This was the dress she wanted to become Miss Hermione Snape in. She knew she sounded like an idiot in her mind but wow. The pure white tulle material had wisps of a midnight blue that reminded Hermione of the two-tone gown that Fleur had worn at her wedding. At the time Hermione thought it odd to have a two-tone dress but this dress was calling to her.
She looked sexy yet sweet. Innocent yet naughty.
Just the look she was going for.
She hoped that the girls would not give her a hard time about it. The enchanted mirror in the dressing room spoke up breaking her inner monologue
"Dearie you look good enough to eat!"
"Thank you, I just hope my intended has a good appetite huh?" Hermione joked a bit with the mirror and found that she was feeling a little more confident knowing that at least the mirror liked the way she looked.
Stepping out of the dressing room heard her two friends deep in conversation
"…you need to grip it like this and then cup them below," Ginny held her hand up to show Lavender what she meant.
"Should I even ask what you're talking about?" Hermione spoke turning the attention of the two witches to her.
"Merlin's hairy balls Mione, you look hot! I mean classy but hot. If I swung that way or was really drunk I would totally hit on you!" Ginny said as she walked around Hermione looking at the gown from all angles.
"She's right Hermione, you look beautiful. Snape is not going to know what to do with you!"
You don't know the half of it Lavender.
"I think this is the one" Hermione blushed under all the attention.
Even the store clerk was commenting on how beautiful the robes were and how she was surprised someone hadn't already purchased them.
"They aren't very traditional which is probably why they hadn't sold yet, but they do look fabulous on you. Shall we ring everything up?"
Ginny had picked out a pair of white strappy heels and Lavender had chosen a beautiful flowered headpiece, the flowers were charmed to stay fresh for up to a year. Hermione almost felt like a princess; well almost until she noticed the very revealing pieces of lingerie that Ginny and Lavender had added to Hermione's robes.
"You are definitely going to need these." Lavender winked as she waved a white frilly thong at Hermione.
"What's wrong?" Ginny leaned over Hermione as she tried to catch her breath. Hermione suddenly found it difficult to catch her breath; she began to pace the length of the changing room.
The enormity of the situation finally hit her "I am getting married! I am getting married to Severus Snape! I mean really, how did this happen?" She was starting to hyperventilate.
"Relax, Hermione, it's going to be okay." Ginny rubbed Hermione's back as she sat her down.
She tried to comfort her friend not knowing really what to say, if she was honest with herself, she was glad it wasn't her in her friend's shoes.
Hermione put her head between her legs in an attempt to control her rising panic attack.
"What are you doing down there, I am sure you smell fine." Lavender asked a look of utter surprise on her face.
"I'm n-n-not smelling myself. It's a muggle technique for controlling ones is all too much; I need to get out of here. I need a drink."
With her new robes in tow and her two friends she made her way to the Three Broomsticks.
Three fire whiskys later she felt a bit more at ease.
Five drinks later she was openly singing on the table top with Ginny and Lavender as some of the patrons threw galleons at the table.
Countless drinks later had her considering the pirate hooker dress again.
Witches Gone Wild
By Rita Skeeter
The newest ministry law has taken its toll on one of the Golden Trio. Last night on the eve of her wedding Miss Hermione Granger was seen partaking in her traditional hen party but it was anything but traditional as the photos included here will show that things definitely got a little out of control.
Insiders have confirmed that Miss Granger has been matched with none other than her former potions professor and war hero Severus Snape. It seems she is devastated to have been roped into this sham marriage and was openly displaying her preference for the opposite sex.
When contacted Severus Snape was otherwise occupied as he celebrated his stag night in the company of Lucius Malfoy and Mr. Malfoy's son Draco at 'The Flying Witch Gentlemen's Club.' Mr Snape said had no comment except to say that he looked forward to and I quote "taking his little witch for a ride on his broomstick!"
It was obvious to this reporter that Professor Snape had been indulging in his drinks as he was slurring his words and wearing what looked like a nipple pasty on his forehead. When prompted for further explanation his best man Lucius Malfoy responded with a rude gesture and a comment about where this reporter can shove her broom.
The marriage ceremony is said to take place this very night at Hogwarts.
This reporter will be on the scene to make sure all my readers get the best coverage possible.
Minerva looked down at the pictures that showed Hermione having her breasts fondled by Ginerva Weasley while Lavender Brown flashed her knickers to the patrons as the three ladies danced very provocatively on the table tops of the Three Broomsticks and drank from very generous cups of what looked like whiskey.
Hermione also had what looked like a white thong on her head. The image replayed itself as in a loop, prompting a giggle from the headmistress each time.
Minerva shook her head and had to stifle further laughter as she saw the picture of a very inebriated and dancing Severus Snape with a nipple pasty on his forehead while being led away from the gentlemen's club by what looked like an equally drunk Lucius and Draco Malfoy.
"If this was the night before the wedding, I can only imagine what the reception will be like," she chuckled as she drank her morning tea.
iA/N: This is the image of the dress I found for our Miss Hermione. Product_Swiss-Dot-Tulle-Empire-Waist-Soft-Wedding-Gown-WG3438_Bridal-Gowns-Features-New-Arrivals