Asura: All right, before this chapter even gets under way, we feel like we should explain our long absence from fanfiction. The truth is…
Raith: ASURA ABANDONED US!!!!!
Glitch: YOU WHORE!!!!!
Asura: … I did not ABANDON you guys. I MOVED in with my DAD. Anyway, the reason we haven't been updating as often is simple: We haven't been able to get together to actually WRITE the chapters. And that's it for explanations. XD Any questions?
Glitch: … yeah…
Raith: WHY DID YOU LEAVE US?! SOBS
Asura: sighs This is gonna take a while… Anyway, here's the tenth chapter of TWAIR!!!! Enjoy, mortals.
Disclaimer: We do not own the defective method of justice that EmoAngel has, PKs, PKKs, lesbians, pansies, big or small words, hacking, random logging out and abandoning your friends, abusive actions against women who deserve it, Jesus, the Devil, weird love confessions at the most wrong moments in time, people sleeping with their best friend's siblings, Justin Timberlake, Bobo, large boom boxes, and "Numa Numa". WE DO OWN the phrase "Is that even possible?" and, hopefully, our own characters.
Warning: … All of the above, plus language, OOCness, and randomness.
Part Nine: The Young, The Bold, and The Suicidal
By: Asura Mori, Glitch, and Raith_Rune
Kyrie: Yay, Rayne's back! Although… I think you chose a bad time to log in… looks around at all the PKs that have surrounded them, before turning back to Rayne By the way… WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!
EmoAngel: Can you two lovebirds talk about this later?! I'm trying to enact justice on this heinous villain!!! SO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!
Rayne: We're not lovebirds-------
EmoAngel: MOVE IT!!!!!!!
Kyrie, Myick, Rayne, and Hulk: YES 'MAM!!!!! all scramble aside, leaving EmoAngel a clear path to Bordeaux
EmoAngel: Now… you four take care of the other trash. I've got a date with Bordeaux. rushes Bordeaux and begins an epic battle
Myick: ……………………… whispers to Rayne Dude, is she a lesbo?!
Rayne: ……
Myick: ……
Rayne: …… that's hot.
Myick: …… It is?
Rayne: …… googly eyes at EmoAngel
Myick: ……
Rayne: drools
Myick: to Kyrie …… I'm scared.
Kyrie: ……
Myick: Ok, these two are in their own little lesbian fantasies. I guess it's up to you and me, Hulk Jr.
Hulk Jr.: …… drools
Myick: GAWD DAMMIT!!! I'm all alone…
Rayne: shakes head and yells out to EmoAngel You sure you don't want any help?! pulls out grimoire
EmoAngel: still fighting Bordeaux Unlike you pansies, I know how to deal with AVERAGE PKs.
Bordeaux: growls Who are you calling AVERAGE?! attacks with even more vigor
Myick: …… whining voice Pansies??? We're not pansies. I'm a PK myself.
EmoAngel: PAUSE You're… a PK…?
Myick: Not an accomplished one, but… yes. (Glitch: I used a big word!!! YAY!!!!)
EmoAngel: ……… I'm leaving. Any friend of a PK is no friend of mine. Cya. nods at Bordeaux Have fun destroying them. logs out of area, leaving the four heroes to Bordeaux's wrath
Myick: WAIT!!!!!! I was jok--------------- turns around to three pairs of murderous eyes
Hulk Jr.: …… logs out
Rayne: ……. You asshole.
Kyrie: Fuckin' pumpkin spice… wait… did Hulk Jr. just ABANDON us?
Myick: I think he did… Well do you gu…. Wait… we can just log out and dodge Bordeaux. Why didn't we think of that before? Wow… your mom was right, Kyrie. We are crack heads.
Kyrie: Am not. And anyway, to log out of an AREA, you need a chaos gate (a rule we HAVEN'T been following recently), unless you are a hacker or a member of CC Corp.
Rayne: … you asshole.
Myick: ignores Rayne Well, we DO have a hacker with us.
Kyrie: … Really? Where?
Myick: points at Rayne THAT homo.
Bordeaux: Hello?! I'M STILL HERE!!!! TURN AROUND AND MEET YOUR DEATH ALREADY!!!!!!
Rayne: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! WE'RE HAVING A CREATIVE DISCUSSION AT THE MOMENT!!!!
Bordeaux: gasps You… did… NOT JUST TALK TO ME LIKE THA-----
Rayne: I SAID STFU!!! bitch-slaps Bordeaux with his grimoire
Kyrie: Wow. THAT'S new. smile The PK is getting PKed. Ah, long live PKKs. XD
Bordeaux: hand shoots up to her cheek H-how… HOW DARE Y---------
Rayne: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!! smacks her repeatedly with his grimoire WHY- thwack - WON'T- thwack - YOU - thwack - JUST - thwack - SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kyrie: Sweet music to my ears, the sound of senseless beatings is. A wonderful serenade to end a perfect moment. … Too bad SOMEONE made EmoAngel LEAVE us. glares at Myick We finally get a female to join our party in this… THIS… "group", and you go and scare her away!!!
Myick: Is that even possible????
Rayne: (in background hitting Bordeaux around with his grimoire) RRRAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! smack-smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Kyrie: smacks Myick since Rayne isn't there to do so STFU Myick!!!! We've got bigger things to worry about!!!
Myick: holds hand to cheek You… you smacked me… WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kyrie: Jesu Chrisu… smacks Myick again Keep it together man!!!! We've been surrounded by enemy forces!!!!!! T.T
Myick: We have? looks around OH MY JESUS IN THE FACE!!!!!!
Kyrie: It's cause and effect. holds up diagram of what's happened so far See? XD
PK 1: looks at beat up Bordeaux Um… boss…
PK 2: … you… you okay?
Rayne: turns around slowly with fire burning in his eyes BLOOD!!!!!!!!!! charges at the group of PKs surrounding Kyrie and Myick, wielding his grimoire like a sword DIE!!!!!!!!
PK 1: OH MY SWEET JESUS!!!!
PK 2: HE'S THE DEVIL REINCARNATED!!!!!
PK 3: HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!!
PK 4: FLEE!!!!!! FLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Rayne: THERE'S NO ESCAPE FOOLS!!!!!!!!
PK 1: WE'RE SCREWED!!!!!!!!
PK 2: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!
Kyrie and Myick: break out into song IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!!!!!
PK 2: …… DOOM IS UPON US!!!!!!
PK 3: PK 4... There's something I need to tell you before we both die…
PK 4: I know man… I already know holds a finger up to PK 3's lips …… I love you too--------
PK 3: What? NO! EWW!! I was gonna tell you I had sex with your sister!!!
PK 4: YOU WHAT?! SONUVABITCH!!! cat-fight commences
Kyrie: Anyway, Rayne took care of our being surrounded problem, so now we have nothing to worry about. :P
Myick: It's cause and effect, see? XD
Kyrie: Nuuu… That's MY saying. smacks Myick yet again
Myick: WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME?! IT HURTS ME EMOTIONALLY INSIDE!!!!!!! cries
Kyrie: Oh, go cry me a river, bitch.
J_T: That's what I told my gurl after she cheated on me with my best friend… also cries
Kyrie: Dude, NOBODY cares.
J_T: ……… STFU. Nobody gives a damn what you think anyway. Peace out, bish. walks away
Myick: … was that Justin Timberlake?!
Kyrie: What are you talking about? blank stare
Myick: That guy you were just talking to…
Kyrie: What guy?
Myick: That guy…
Kyrie: There was nobody there Myick, just like there was no parakeet in the birdcage. (Asura: Warning, inside joke. Lol.)
Myick: WHAT parakeet?
Kyrie: Exactly. walks away smiling
Myick: But… but… but… smoke comes out of his head I DON'T GET IT!!!!!!! MIND OVERLOAD
Kyrie: Ah, that was fun. whistles Song of Storms Hey, Rayne! Wanna go and get some pizza while Myick's brain is friend? :P
Rayne: covered in blood and pulling PK 2 by his hair Sure! I worked up quite an appetite. … Come Bobo!!!! tugs on PK 2's hair and drags him along
PK 2: whimpers
Myick: beats head against the wall WHO IS BOBO?!?!?! WHAT PARAKEET?! WHY AM I EVEN ALIVE?!?!?!?! attempts suicide and fails miserably
Kyrie: You fail at life.
Rayne: Umh… don't you mean failing at death?
RC 1: pops up between Kyrie and Rayne, in a purple cloud of fluffy smoke Is that even possible?!
RC 2: poofs in between Kyrie and Rayne in a cloud of fluffy pink smoke What? Failing at life or failing at death?
RC 3: poofs in behind Kyrie in a cloud of rainbow smoke Maybe it's both!!!!
RC 1, 2, and 3 all move in close to Kyrie's face
RC 1, 2, and 3: What do YOU think?!?!
RC 3: Eh? EEEEHHHH?!
PAUSE.
Kyrie: WHO THE FUCK JUST TOUCHED MY BUTT?!?!?!?!
Rayne: ……
RC 3: D-d-d-don't look at me! backs away I didn't do it!!!
Kyrie: I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL Y------------
A large boom box falls and crushes RC 3 before Kyrie can exact his revenge
"Numa Numa" blasts from the speakers, blowing everybody over, as a girl with short, blonde hair appears out of nowhere
???: KYRIE!!!!!!!! I MADE A CHARACTER!!! COME DANCE WITH ME!!!!!!
Kyrie: SIS?!
To be continued…
A/N: What is this new development that involves Kyrie's sister? Who touched Kyrie's butt? Is Myick forever trapped in the insanity of his own mind? Will Rayne ever NOT be covered in blood? AND WHERE THE HELL IS HULK JR.?!
Asura: I thought he went back to Harvard…
Glitch: TO BE A DENTIST!!!
Raith: NO! TO STUDY THE ART OF MAKING Q-TIPS!!!!!
Asura: WOW. Anyway… clears throat Attention all readers, we have a new author!!!!!!!
Glitch: SHE WAS JUST BORN THIS MORNING!!!! SHE IS ONLY SEVEN HOURS OLD!!!!! HER NAME IS ROCKY HORROR!!!!!!
Raith: … Shiro's gonna kill you. Lol.
Asura: Yeppers. XD
And for that one minute, there was peace on earth and the war was put on hold.
Shiro: … A BABY DIED!!!
Asura: Horrible.