Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything from his universe. I only own Nazo who I created.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

AN: As always I hope you find enjoyment from reading this chapter. I urge you to leave a review if you have something to say or ask. I also kinda forgot but I do have a poll for this story, feel free to take part in it.

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You Can't Be Serious

Chapter Ten

Chuunin Exams Part 3

"Finally, I've been waiting for today forever!" an over excited Naruto yelled as he ran circles around Jiraiya.

"Forever? You have only known about this for a month you know" the old sage said laughingly.

"So?" he yelled "I have been waiting since then at least and I'm gonna win this thing. Believe it!" Naruto jumped and pumped his fist for the victory he predicted.

"You're going to beat everyone else huh brat?"

"That's right. I had the sensei of the strongest ninja ever training me for the last month, who else stands a chance Ero-Sennin?" Jiraiya looked down at the smirking teen, Naruto knew Jiraiya hated being called that.

"I swear kid I'm going to kill you if you keep calling me that." Naruto laughed at Jiraiya as he pouted at the name. "Isn't that girl part of your team?" Naruto squinted and saw the girl in question standing by the entrance of the arena talking to another girl.

"Hey Sakura-Chan!" he yelled waving as they approached.

"Oh, hey Naruto" Sakura looked at the two of them with a small smile "hi Jiraiya. You almost didn't make it on time."

"What?" Naruto's face scrunched in confusion as he remembered looking at the alarm clock that morning. He knew it didn't take him more than a half hour at the most to get here. At that moment he remembered his alarm hadn't woken him that morning, Jiraiya had stopped by and waken him up. "I guess I need a new alarm clock" he said with a somber face.

"Come on, lets go in already."

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"Do you sensei anywhere?" Naruto asked looking around for Nazo as they made their way to the competitors box.

"Calm down Naruto" Sakura said hoping to calm the blonds anxiousness. "After everything he said I very seriously doubt he would miss this."

"She's right Naruto" Jiraiya had to add his two yen. "I'd be more worried about your third teammate though. I didn't see him or Kakashi anywhere."

"Sasuke will be here, besides his match isn't first" Naruto nodded to reassure himself as he made the statement. The three of them walked up the last set of steps, entered the competitor's box, and looked around. In the far corner they saw Gaara with his team keeping distance from everyone else. Shikamaru was leaning back on a couch alone, both of his teammates having forfeited from the exams, possibly asleep. The last team was, the older group of genin who waited until this year to compete, standing near the railing overlooking the fighting area. That group was the only people Naruto hadn't met at all. There was a typical looking Hyuuga, a girl with a very distinct haircut, and a boy who was possibly the weirdest sight Naruto had ever seen. The boy wore a skin tight green jumpsuit, a bowl cut and sported the thickest eyebrows on earth. Naruto finally spotted Nazo standing against the wall talking with two other jounin and proceeded in walking over, Sakura and Jiraiya following suite.

"Nazo-Sensei hey!" Naruto greeted him as enthusiastically as ever and ran up to him.

"Hey there Naruto, Sakura, Jiraiya. How's it going?" Nazo gave a small wave and smiled at them.

"So that's who you got for a team huh?" one of the two jounin with Nazo asked. Naruto noticed the cigarette in his mouth and the half visible pack showing from one of his vest pockets.

"Tell us, do they show the vibrancy of youth?" the other asked. Naruto had to do a double take when he looked at the second jounin. It was an exact replica of the boy standing with his team by the railing. The only difference was age, rank, and the fact that the older one's eyebrows were slightly bushier.

"I suppose they do" Nazo laughed nervously while wishing he had taken Kakashi's advice about avoiding Gai. "Gai, Asuma I'd like you to meet Naruto and Sakura. Naruto, Sakura meet Gai and Asuma. Asuma is the jounin sensei for your friends Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. Gai here is the jounin sensei of a team of genin from last year that you might know, Neji, Tenten, and Lee. Now that you're all acquainted let's get back to the matter at hand."

"Whats that?" Naruto asked curiously.

"This" Nazo said holding out a small book for him to see. "I was having them read this for me since I can't."

"What's Icha Icha Paradise sensei?" Sakura asked as she studied the cover.

"Written by Jiraiya. Hey Ero-Sennin did you write this?" Naruto looked up as he asked.

"I sure did!" he exclaimed proudly. "I wrote the entire series of Icha Icha novels that are out there! That's just issue one. Number two is out too, and I'm working on book three now" Jiraiya laughed happily as if he was stating some grand accomplishment.

"Incidentally" Nazo said interrupting him "I was hoping to get an autographed copy of Icha Icha Violence from you before you leave again?" he asked hopefully. Jiraiya nodded and Nazo smiled largely before once again pocketing the book. "Now why don't you guys get comfortable until they announce the first match. Right now Asuma is going to introduce me to his star pupil." Jiraiya watched as Nazo and Asuma walked, noticing that Nazo was heavily favoring the left side of his body as he walked.

"Gai did you notice?"

"Yes, I'm a master in Taijutsu. I can read body language better than anyone" Gai said thoughtfully and surprisingly seriously.

"So I guess the question is what did he do?" Jiraiya asked to himself out loud.

"Ladies and gentlemen" a jounin standing in the middle of the field began talking. "Welcome to the finals for this years first Chuunin Exams. First I would like to welcome you all and let me wish you all a good time while in Konoha. Now let's go ahead and start the first match between Neji Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki."

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Naruto faced his opponent and recalled what Nazo had said to him on his way down the stairs. 'The best thing to do is stay as far away as possible. OK so I try not to get too close, and if I do I'll do like sensei taught us.

"Are you both ready?" Hayate asked. Both Naruto and Neji nodded and he took a few steps back.

"You will loose" Neji stated calmly as he stared at Naruto "It is destined to happen."

"We'll see" Naruto smirked.

"Now for the first fight" Hayate took a last look between the two genin "being!" Hayate quickly jumped out of the way after announcing the beginning of the match.

Naruto watched as Neji settled into a fighting stance and prepared for combat.

"Yeah like that's gonna happen" Naruto took a few small hops back away from Neji.

"Scared?" Neji taunted smirking.

"Just not stupid." Naruto made a few Kage Bunshin and had them spread out in the area around Neji. 'Let's test everything sensei said.' The clones charged Neji while Naruto watched unimpressed as the older teen dispatched each of them. 'Alright, so him being able to see all around him stands as true.' Naruto made three more clones and had them charge Neji head on again.

Neji smirked as he watched the three clones approach him. His smirk grew even larger as they stepped within his Field of Divinity. The movement of the clones slowed through his eyes and he moved to inflict his wrath upon them. He spun around and a simple roundhouse kick made the first dissipate. Continuing the spin and a second kick with the other foot did the same to the second and a flat fisted palm strike as he came out of the spin eliminated the last. His smirk left when he realized they had been a small diversion. Neji was ripped off of his feet and thrown forcefully into the concrete wall of the stadium. As the dust and debris began to clear there was quite a large crater in the wall and a heavily breathing Neji leaning against the wall to hold himself upright.

"Is that the Hyuuga power?" Naruto took his turn to do the taunting. "Are you nothing outside of close quarters Taijutsu?"

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"You didn't listen to a thing I said did you Nazo?" Jiraiya said as soon as he had gotten Nazo away from the ears of the others.

"Why whatever do you mean?" Nazo asked coyly wishing his eyes weren't covered so he could bat them as well.

"You know full well what I'm talking about Nazo" Jiraiya sighed. "You promised me you weren't going to get into a fight with them if you actually found them."

"Why would you think that I got into a fight with anyone, let alone a member of Akatsuki?"

Jiraiya stepped forward with lightning speed and pulled up Nazo's shirt. What he saw made him gasp aloud. "By Kami Nazo what happened?" Nazo had a gash that started somewhere below the waistline on his right. From his waist it ran up and made an S on his chest before ending near his heart. Where the gash ended there was good amount of flesh missing making a decent sized whole. Jiraiya even thought he could see a small amount of bone.

"Look Jiraiya, you were right. I shouldn't have gone looking for them with as little information as we had. They are just as strong as you warned though, if it's any help" Nazo finished trying to joke it off.

"You're in no condition to be joking. You look like you should be dead. I mean I think I see bone in that whole, you're one lucky bastard to be alive. You should really go see a medic."

"It isn't as bad as it looks. Honestly the guy with the scythe just snuck up on me" Nazo pushed his shirt back down. "Anyways next time I wont underestimate them, I'll be prepared."

"You're not honestly going to tell me you want to go looking for more trouble are you?" Jiraiya asked with widened eyes.

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"I know more than just the Juken." Neji disappeared only to reappear behind Naruto. "See, I told you that you were destined to lose. You're within my field of divinity." Neji lowered himself into the fighting stance of the Juken style. "Hakke Rokujuyon Sho." Naruto was unable to even move as Neji began his assault. First two strikes on his chest, followed by two more on his left arm followed by a series of four then eight. It progressed as Neji's strikes landed on the helpless Naruto ending with a series of thirty two then sixty four strikes on his body. When his assault was over Neji watched as the body of his opponent fell to the ground at his feet and he smirked to himself. His smirking was short lived when Naruto poofed out of existence, on the ground however were several explosive notes. Several people's eyes widened, but most importantly a certain jounin sensei who watching the fight watched in concern.

"I thought I told Naruto not to use those unless he really needed to."

"You gave him him explosive notes?!" Jiraiya exclaimed frantically.

"I didn't think it was such a bad thing at the time" Nazo said sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

Neji stared at the the pieces of paper for another second before they exploded underneath his feet. Everyone watched as his body flew into the air and soared a good distance before hitting the ground with a thud. As Neji lay unmoving on the ground Naruto walked over and looked down at him.

"I guess destiny was wrong" Naruto smiled. He then put his hands behind his head and walked away.

"The winner of the first round is Naruto Uzumaki!" Hayate yelled as the crowd roared with applause.

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Naruto was welcomed back to the competitor's box by good job's and way to go's. Naruto nodded in thanks, grinning with his hands behind his head as he made his way to Nazo and Sakura.

"Good fight Naruto, I'm glad you actually listened when I told the three of you about fighting a Hyuuga."

"Thanks Nazo-Sensei" Naruto's grin grew larger at the praise.

"Now hand them over" Nazo said crossing his arms and giving the blond genin a stern look.

"Oh come on, I didn't hurt him that badly" Naruto protested. "I bet when he wakes up he wont even remember what happened."

"If that's true Naruto" Nazo sighed before continuing "it's because he will have suffered a concussion. Now I'm not going to ask you again Naruto, hand them over."

Naruto dug through the pouch at his waist and produced a few explosive notes. "Fine, here." Nazo held them in his hand and rubbed them with his fingers before clearing his throat loudly. "Ugh, fine!" Naruto shouted and produced several more of the explosive pieces of paper from the same pouch.

"All of them Naruto, honestly you act like I don't know you at all."

"Dammit" Naruto sighed and grabbed even more of the paper sized pieces of fun from a couple of pockets on the jacket. "I hate you" Naruto said as he scowled up at Nazo.

"I love you too" Nazo said pocketing the papers in a pocket on his jounin vest.

"OK, now for the second round would Rock Lee and Kankuro take their places" Hayate's voice once again filled the arena, calling for the next combatants.

"Proctor" Kankuro shouted from beside his two teammates in the stand "I forfeit."

"OK, then" Hayate said clearing his throat. "I guess that would move us along to round three between Shikamaru Nara and Temari."

"I forfeit as well" Shikamaru yelled from his spot on the couch before anyone could protest. Nazo looked as Temari scowled at the Nara, then back at her face painted teammate.

"Well then" Hayate said an amount of confusion apparent in his voice. "We are going to take a brief intermission before the fourth round." As soon as he finished talking Hayate disappeared from the arena floor in a swirl of leaves.

"Your genin prodigy over these knows something Asuma" Nazo said as he walked over to the other jounin who was currently having a heated discussion with the still lounging Shikamaru.

"I thought the same thing, but he is sticking fast too his claim of it's too troublesome." Shikamaru sighed at the two older shinobi.

"Look, I just don't feel like it. Besides I'm tired of having to fight girls" the young Nara shrugged as he finished talking. Both jounin chuckled at his last comment and decided to leave it at that for now.

"OK, but the second you know what's up" Nazo said giving a subtle point in the direction of the Suna team "let Asuma know." Shikamaru gave a slight nod and relaxed on the couch as they walked away.

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After about four or five minutes the crowd began to grow tired of nothing happening, luckily that was when Hayate decided to reappear on the field.

"Ladies and gentlemen it looks like we will be temporarily postponing the round four fight and be moving on to the round five fight. Will Sakura Haruno and Tenten please take their positions on the field."

"Good luck Sakura-Chan" Naruto said while giving her a reassuring smile.

"Thanks Naruto, I'll be fine" She replied with a smile of her own. As she turned to walk down the stairs to the arena field Nazo stopped her.

"Sakura be careful" he said his voice full of concern. "She has had an entire year of training and missions more than you, not to mention she was taking her ninja career seriously from the start." He saw her confidence start to slip and figured he should get to the point. "I'm not trying to spook you, in fact I have no doubts that you will win. I just want you to be careful" he finished smiling.

"Thanks sensei." She returned his smile and turned to walk down the steps once again.

"Oh and one more thing."

"Yeah?" She asked turning to face him. She gasped in surprise as he picked her up and literally threw her over the railing toward the ground below.

"Make a cool entrance!" Nazo yelled laughing maniacally.

"You can't be serious!" Sakura screamed as she flew over the railing and fell toward the ground. Sakura flipped when she neared the ground and landed on her feet at the base of the wall. She looked back up to the horrendous sight of Nazo and Gai both giving her the so called good guy pose. 'I wish I was dead right now' she thought as she sweat dropped.

"Are the both of you ready?" Hayate asked as the two girls stood facing each other in the center of the arena. They both nodded to him and he leapt backwards to avoid any injury as he began the match "begin!"

Sakura made the necessary hand seals for a jutsu, and Tenten was forced to jump away as a whole enveloped the area she had been occupying seconds prior. Tenten used chakra to stand on the wall of the large arena and size up her opponent. Reaching into a waist pouch full of pointed goodies the older girl grabbed hold of two kunai and a shuriken and aimed her shots. Lining them up perfectly before throwing the projectiles hit Sakura dead on, even as she had tried to dodge them. Her smile quickly turned into a look of dismay as the younger girls body disappeared into a cloud of smoke only to be replaced with that of a log, which had the three projectiles lodged into it. Tenten wasn't very adept at finding hidden opponents, especially since her team relied pretty heavily on the unique abilities of their Hyuga teammate to spot the majority of hidden traps or shinobi. Carefully straining her eyes to spot the bubblegum haired girl Tenten spotted her hiding amongst the branches and leaves of a tree. A smile crept across the face of the older ninja as she drew a scroll out from the recesses of a pouch.

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"That's brilliant" Nazo commented as he watched the fight Sakura was participating in. "I guess it was a very wise decision to leave her in the hands of that new jounin for a month of training."

Naruto scratched his head as he watched the fight. "I don't really understanding what's happening sensei" Naruto muttered sadly, he felt as if he was missing out on something very important. Whatever it was he was certain it was beyond his level of comprehension.

"Well keep watching Naruto, if you don't understand by the end I'll go ahead and explain it to you OK?"

"Really?" he asked with a curious smile. "Thanks sensei!"

"Yea, yea" Nazo said while motioning for his student to be quiet and shushing him "now I'm trying to watch this."

"Sensei, where did you get that bag of popcorn?" Naruto asked nervously eying the bag of popcorn Nazo seemingly pulled out of nowhere.

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As the hail of weapons and various other sharp, metal projectiles finished flying through the air Tenten landed gently on the ground. She looked toward her opponent and felt satisfied at the sight she saw. The younger, pink haired girl had many cuts, scrapes, and embedded kunai, shuriken, and other various instruments of pain all over her body. Sakura was out cold and blood covered most of her body. Hayate walked over and motioned for the medics before calling the match in Tenten's favor. The crowed cheered loudly and Tenten looked into the stands and toward her two teammates. She saw Lee and Gai both giving her a thumbs up and Neji was smilingly at her slightly, everything was perfect. Too perfect. Neji was a cold calm Hyuga, and they didn't smile very often.

Tenten glanced around quickly, trying to take in her surroundings, as she broke the Genjutsu. Sakura was sitting in front of her whistling, a smile adorning her face as she held a kunai against Tenten's throat.

"How? When?" she stuttered.

"From the start" Sakura answered, her face still smiling. "I wasn't actually using a jutsu, but instead put you under a Genjutsu. Nothing you saw beyond me making the seals was real. Now go ahead and forfeit so I can untie you and go about waiting for the next round."

"OK" the older girl sighed. "Proctor I forfeit."

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"Way to go Sakura-Chan!" Naruto was yelling as soon as Sakura stepped into the competitor's box again. "You kicked butt."

"Thanks Naruto" she answered with a tiny blush on her face.

"No need for embarrassment Sakura he's right, you did really well out there" Nazo said while putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I almost didn't catch what happened there for a second, really nice."

"Thanks sensei."

Naruto was about to utter something else, but the sudden appearance of Sasuke surprised him. Hearing a yelp Nazo turned and noticed Sasuke and Kakashi now standing in the room. Kakashi had a small book in his hands and, though he couldn't see it he could sense it, a blush on his face. Stifling a perverted giggle Kakashi put the book away and gave a small wave to Nazo.

"So when is his match?"

"Now for the last match of the first round Gaara versus Sasuke Uchiha" Hayate announced.

"Now" Nazo answered Kakashi bluntly.

"Oh" Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly "just in time I guess, huh?"

"It seems so."

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"Begin!" Hayate yelled before jumping away from the two combatants.

As soon as the fight was started the sand shot out of the gourd on Gaara's back and raced toward Sasuke. Sasuke leapt back and launched two shuriken at the sand nin hoping at least for a small distraction. He wasn't at all surprised when the sand formed a shielding wall in front of Gaara. What did surprise Sasuke was when the sand wall formed into a sand clone, it's hand enclosing around the shuriken. He charged forward at Gaara and the clone tossed the shuriken at him. Sasuke batted them aside and continued onward, throwing a punch at Gaara. His fist met only sand, but Sasuke smirked as Gaara looked at him.

Gaara gasped as Sasuke disappeared and suddenly reappeared behind him. Sasuke threw another punch, this one much too quick for his sand to keep up with. As Gaara stumbled two steps Sasuke looked at the cracks on his face and realized the sand armor protecting him.

"I'm going to rip that armor right off of you" Sasuke said kicking him in the gut then spinning and landing a kick on his chin that sent him flying several yards. Sasuke watched as Gaara made a hand seal before becoming encased in large sphere of sand. Sneering Sasuke charged in to attack it, but was stopped just inches away from hitting it. Many spikes of sand were protruding from the sphere where he was attacking, one making a small cut on Sasuke's face.

"Good a time as any to try this out" Sasuke said to himself as he jumped to the top of the arena wall. He made several sets of hand seals and began gathering chakra in his hand. The sound of chirping appeared and began to grow in volume as the chakra in his hand intensified and the crackle of electricity came to life.

"You taught him Chidori" Nazo half asked half stated as he watched Sasuke.

"It seemed like a good idea" Kakashi said shrugging it off. "Besides he is the only other person I could have ever taught it to." Nazo just nodded in response and continued to watch the fight. Sasuke was now charging at Gaara once again. He was letting his hand drag along the ground, the jutsu ripping the earth to pieces as he went along. Sasuke used his Sharingan to dodge the numerous spikes that lurched from the sphere in hopes of stopping his attack. As he dodged the last sand spike Sasuke smiled and forced his jutsu enhanced fist through the sand. A small rupture occurred where the hit landed and Sasuke's arm was up to his elbow inside the sphere. He smiled, but it faded almost instantly as he felt an insanely strong grip on his arm. After a few seconds of struggling Sasuke managed to pull his arm free of the sphere, along with an enormous claw like hand that was gripping it. Sasuke jerked his arm from its grip and it retracted back into the sphere where he thought he saw an evil looking eye pass by the small hole, followed by a roar. The sphere of sand suddenly fell to the ground and Gaara stood there, clutching his wounded and bleeding shoulder.

Everyone would have been gasping, but many people were falling asleep. Nazo looked around him to see Sakura and Naruto fast asleep. Looking up he noticed white feathers falling to the ground all around him. Nazo was pretty shitty with Genjutsu, but he had been put under by this particular jutsu before and noticed it. He made the single seal and performed the Kai to dispel the illusion. Nazo looked around and sighed at the sight.

"Today? Now?" Nazo silently cursed Kami inside his head "You can't be serious."