I don't own anything. But you probably knew that. XD

X. Hangover and Nicknames

Steve woke up with a massive headache. Where was he? Oh wait, he was in bed. Why was the room spinning around like crazy? He went to get up but something held him down. It was restraints strapped to his wrists, ankles, and across his chest. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

Bucky entered the room with an angry glare on his face. "Language. What's your full name?" He demanded.

Steve blinked. "Um…Steven Grant Rogers?"

"And who am I?"

"James Buchanan Barnes?"

"And who is this?" Bucky held up a picture of Tony.

"Tony Fricken Stark?"

"Last question." Bucky thrust his metal arm forward and held up two fingers. "How many fingers am I not holding up?"

"Three."

Bucky sighed. "Good. I'm talking to a sane Steve."

"What are you even talking about?" Steve wondered aloud. "And why are you giving me the concussion test?"

Bucky released the restraints on Steve. He helped his friend out of bed and made sure he could stand. Then Bucky balled up his fist and punched him in the jaw. Steve toppled backwards and hit the wall. He slid to the floor. "What the hell, Steve?! You got drunk last night and spent all our goddamn money! I literally had to drag you home on one motorcycle because, fuck me, you gambled the other one!"

"Sorry. But you don't need to use the megaphone."

"I AM NOT USING A MEGAPHONE!" Steve winced and slapped his hands over his ears. Man, Bucky had a loud voice. He didn't remember it ever being this loud.

"How did I get drunk? I have super soldier serum!"

"Natasha was there and she wanted revenge on you for something so she dressed up as the bartender and poisoned your drink." When Steve looked skeptical Bucky grumbled and said "Howard Stark lied to you and the super soldier serum isn't totally immune to forever alcoholic consumption and you happened to surpass the limit and knocked out."

"Those dirty liars!" Hissed Steve. "So what do we do now?"

"Well we have to regain all that money you spent. Lucky for me I found a brand new method that might work for us! So long as you don't gamble the money away right after we get it."

"Whatever," said Steve. "Lemme see this new method."
Bucky lead the dizzy Steve to the dining room where a computer sat. He pressed some of the keys and then pulled up a window. "Behold! Craigslist™ !"

Steve leaned forwards and tilted his head to inspect the site more. If only the room around it wasn't spinning so fast…"When did Daniel Craig join the Blacklist™ cast?" Bucky cocked his head. "Never mind. And I'm usually the one that doesn't make random references. So what is this?"

"This is an online shopping site where you can buy just about anything as well as create ads for anything!" Bucky looked extremely proud about himself. "And I actually got some money for us to work with, especially since we have to pay the taxes in a few days."

"Since when did you care about taxes?" Steve grumbled.

"I'm not as dumb as you think I am!"

"Whatever. What did you sell?"

Bucky pulled up the ad. "I sold your shield! Brilliant, right!?"

Steve gasped at the ad. Bucky had priced it at a thousand dollars. And it had been sold at a thousand. He couldn't take his eyes off the ad until Bucky said "You okay?"

"No it's not brilliant! You idiot! That's my weapon! How would you feel if I sold your guns?!" Steve screamed in Bucky's face.

"But you didn't," Bucky said, his hands up in surrendering mode. "And we can pay the taxes, right?"

Steve grabbed Bucky's collar and ran him into a wall. "You bastard! I've had that thing for over seventy years and you decide to sell it now? Do you know how much it takes to replace that stuff?! It'll cost me my arm! Maybe a leg with it!"

"Not fair!" Whined Bucky. "You literally like to insult me! Just for that, have a mouthful of my fist!" He punched Steve in the face. "Oh sorry. Were you expecting a flesh hand? Well too bad my existence today COST ME MY FUCKING ARM AND A STUPID WINTER SOLDIER IMPLANT!"

"I thought I told you to go to a doctor and have that implant removed!" Steve scolded. He punched Bucky. The two super soldier broke into a fist to fist combat. Even when they turned the silverware into weapons the fight didn't cease.

The front door swung open and Sharon Carter stepped in with a bag of groceries in her arms. "Hi boys! How are you…you know what? You guys look busy. I'll come back later." She left the groceries on the counter and bolted away.

Steve threw a plate at Bucky. The Winter Soldier dodged and threw a butter knife. Steve used two spoons to deflect it. He hurled a spatula at Bucky's neck. Bucky sidestepped it and seized a frying pan. He made vain attempts to hit Steve over the head. Steve then grabbed a chopping knife and blocked Bucky's pan.

"Knives are my thing!" Bucky howled. He grabbed a flower vase (for some reason that wasn't sold in the garage sale) and cracked it on Steve's knife.

"Stop it!" Steve yelled. Bucky froze in midair. He face planted into the oven. "You're lucky I didn't turn that on! Ow! Stupid headache. We should figure some way to get my shield back. And soon. If that thing lands into enemy hands-"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, dangerous consequences. Steve, this stuff ain't new to me."

"Well then let's go! Who did you sell it to?"

"Some guy by the name of Sked Rull. Eye-dee-kay."

"Eye-dee-kay?" Bucky rolled his eyes again.

"It's short for I don't know. Damn, Steve, you need to catch up on the times."

"Language!"

Bucky grabbed the frying pan and tried to hit Steve again. "Damn is not a bad word! And you should have heard yourself earlier!"

"I know. I just wanted to see your reaction."

The Winter Soldier face palmed. "Lordy, please help me."

Steve smiled. He clapped his hand onto Bucky's shoulder. "Don't look down, soldier. We're going to set things straight. You know what? I need a new nickname for you. Hmm…"

"I don't need another nickname," Bucky grumbled. "And when did the subject change to nicknames?!"

He was waved off. "You can never have enough nicknames for your best friend." Bucky sighed. "Let's see…" Steve thought for a moment. "How about something like spunky? Cause you got a lot of spunk!" Bucky shook his head. "Alright…Burky!" Bucky shook his head. "Buckles?"

"No," said Bucky.

"I know! Sputnik!" Steve whopped. Bucky jerked to his full body height with his arms pressed to his sides. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed. "Okay, maybe that wasn't something he liked," said Steve. "Hey, Sputnik. Wake up."

Sorry for making Steve dumb. Looks like he and Bucky switched roles.

Also, I have never had a hangover so I made this based off a bunch of stuff I found on the computer.

Please review!