a/n Thanks as always to my prereader GemmaH for all her help with this chapter and tigerlilylace for her awesome beta skills. Huge thanks to those who are reading and especially to those who leave a review. I love reading them.
This chapter is a little longer than normal, Edward had a lot to say.
Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight related. She doesn't own the bag of pear drops and sherbet lemons that I am about to tuck into!
Deeper and Deeper
EPOV
When she slowly pushed open the door and exited the police station, I could tell from the way she walked that it was going to be bad. Her slumped shoulders and bowed head showed me just how devastated she felt, but they were nothing to the pain I saw in the depths of her beautiful brown eyes, when she eventually looked up and saw me.
Gone was the sparkle that I usually found there, wiped away by the trauma she'd experienced earlier today.
She flew down the steps towards me and I caught her as she jumped into my arms, holding her as tightly as I dared while she sobbed into my shoulder.
"She's gone!" she whispered, "Alice is gone."
I knew this of course, not only from the officer who'd called me about Bella, but because I had seen firsthand what had happened to Alice. I held her and stroked her hair as she continued to cry and thought back over the events leading up to this point.
-oxo-
Jasper and I had been keeping a close eye on the girls, ever since our little 'chat' with the wolf pack. I watched as she spoke with Jared outside the store, my initial worries were proved unnecessary as I listened to their conversation and read his mind. Although he was definitely from La Push, he'd been telling the truth about helping Bella's father and about being sick on the day he died. I could tell he felt guilty about not being there, and clearly had no idea about who had actually killed Charlie. I suspect that this was because he wasn't a member of the wolf pack. Yet.
Then Jacob showed up and started shouting and making threats. I noticed Jared slink off and struggled not to race over there when Jacob turned his anger on Bella. His thoughts were jumbled and hard to understand, but I wanted to shut his mouth with my fists for the way he was talking to her. She held her ground though, not taking any of his shit and I smirked at her snippy tone. They parted was after a few more minutes and I felt my fists clench involuntarily as she hugged him goodbye, only relaxing when she was back in her truck and driving away.
Jasper and I decided to go on a quick hunting trip while Angela came over to visit the girls for lunch. We'd not been for a while and I figured that given the way Alice can chat, they should be busy for the next few hours at least.
We made quick work of the hunt, taking down the first group of deer that was unfortunate enough to cross our path. After clearing up and disposing of the carcasses, we took a leisurely run back to Charlie's, well I guess it's Bella's house now.
"I'm going to take Alice on a date." Jasper suddenly blurted out.
I almost stumbled as his outburst took me by surprise. He pretty much thought about Alice none stop, so I'd taken to tuning out his thoughts of late. I managed to regain my footing before slipping, but I still heard Jasper chuckle beside me.
"What sort of date?" I replied. "You can hardly take her for dinner and a movie."
We were nearing the outskirts of Bella's property and we slowed our pace to a walk. Jasper hadn't replied to my question, so I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow as if to say, well?
He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hand over his eyes.
"Fuck, I don't know." he muttered. "I just want to spend time with her, I don't care what we do."
"Yeah, right." I smirked, nudging his shoulder. Despite my efforts, I had been privy to some his more entertaining thoughts recently and they all included Alice in some questionable activity and state of undress.
"Well, yeah."he said, returning my smile. "I'd like to do that, obviously. But it's not just about that with Alice, she's special." He looked at me, asking me to understand. "Know what I mean?"
I nodded, because, I understood perfectly. Although Bella and I were way behind them with the physical side of things, the connection I felt with her was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I wanted to be with her in every sense of the word and I knew exactly what he meant, she was special too.
We came to a stop just inside the tree line, listening for the familiar heartbeats inside. I felt my body hum as I focused in on Bella's, the familiar calmness settled through me when I knew she was near.
"Come on, Bella.!" Alice yelled from the bottom of the stairs."We're going to be late."
Late for what?
I stole a glance at Jasper, but he just shrugged, having no idea either.
No idea why we have to both go and meet Jake, I know he's Bella's friend, but I'm not sure I like him. I get the strangest vibe when he's around.
"Jacob fucking Black!" I hissed as I read the thought in Alice's mind. "They're headed out to meet him for coffee." I quickly explained to Jasper when he shot me a questioning look.
We listened intently when Alice's phone rang, halting her movement towards the front door. It looked like only Bella would have the pleasure of the Mutt's company this afternoon. Jasper and I decided to split up after discovering this new development. I would follow Bella into town and he would stay here to watch Alice. Of course what I really fucking wanted to do, was rush over there and tell her I thought it was a bad idea and that she should stay home with me instead. I couldn't do that, however, because that would raise a whole lot of other questions I just wasn't ready to answer.
Yet.
-oxo-
I ran ahead and waited for Bella to arrive at the diner. Thankfully, since Forks was surrounded by forest, I was able to watch the diner undetected, from my hiding place in the trees. I saw Jacob pull in, park and get out of his car to wait.
Motherfucker, I 'd like to-
The ringing of my cell interrupted that pleasant train of thought.
"Edward!" Jasper's panicked voiced filled my ears. "It's Alice. Fuck Edward! There's so much blood, she's barely moving and her pulse is so faint. I don't know what to do.. I ...I cant..."
"Shit!"
I didn't want to leave Bella to meet Jacob without my protection, but fuck only knows what had happened to Alice, from the terror and pain in Jasper's voice I knew it was going to be pretty fucking bad.
"Edward?" Jasper shouted, spurring me into action.
"I'm on my way."
I snapped my phone shut and gave Jake and the diner one last look, before setting off as fast as possible back to Jasper and the shit storm that was waiting for me.
-oxo-
I reached Bella's house, searching frantically for Jasper and Alice. The smell of blood assaulted my senses and I almost reeled from the intensity if it. Jasper's words replaying in my head.
So much blood...
I raced round to the front of the house, from the state of the front door and the stench that I could smell all around, I knew immediately who did this.
Fucking wolves!
I took a deep breath and held it, trying to ignore the burn that the presence of so much blood was creating. Jasper was sat facing away from me, with what I assumed to be Alice, cradled in his lap. I rushed to his side and the sight that met me, stopped me in my tracks.
He did indeed have Alice cradled in his lap, but she was still and so very pale. He was sat, half in a pool of her blood, but that wasn't what I found disturbing. Her head was leaning over to one side, the graceful slope of her neck, laying exposed. A crescent shape bite mark was evident on her skin and as my gaze traveled higher I saw Jasper's mouth, covered in what I could only believe was Alice's blood.
"What the fuck have you done?" I screamed in disbelief.
I looked on in horror at my brother, who had never tasted human blood, but now sat with the evidence smeared all across his face. Maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn't the wolves who did this.
Fuck.
Even though I could see it with my own eyes, I just couldn't bring myself to believe that Jasper had done this, that he had actually fed from her.
He looked up at me, sharply, clutching Alice securely to his chest.
"I didn't do this!" He almost sobbed. "As if I could fucking harm her!"
Hurt flashed across his features and a wave of despair struck me as he realized how little I just thought of him. I was immediately filled with shame for doubting him so quickly, after all our years together.
"I'm sorry." I offered, quietly. " But the blood..." I pointed to his mouth, as a weak excuse for my accusation. He shifted slightly and looked down at the floor, the realization of what he might have done suddenly dawned on me.
"Motherfucker! You bit her, Jasper?" I ask, incredulously.
He looked back up at me and I saw the answer in his eyes.
"Jesus Christ!" I snapped, grabbing my hair in frustration.
"I had to." he snapped back. "She was almost dead!" He looked so distraught, if it were possible he would be crying right now. "You didn't see what he did to her!" he snarled at me.
"Who?" I asking, noticing the way his face has now morphed into an angry mask, his fists clenched as he still held Alice tightly to him.
He replayed the whole scene in his thoughts for me to see.
Alice rushing out the front door, keys in one hand, her phone in the other as she left the house at Bella's panicked request.
"Holy shit, Bella..." She whispered, stopping halfway out the door, as a giant lone wolf approached the house.
Before she could say anything else he snarled and lunged for her, deadly sharp claws and teeth connecting with soft flesh and bone.
Alice screamed.
The vision blurred then as the wolf was suddenly torn from her and thrown savagely back outside. I correctly assumed that's when Jasper got there. They fought, rolling around on the floor, Jasper slammed him up against the front door before kicking him down the steps. The wolf struggled up and stared back at Jasper for only a second, before half limping, half running back into the forest.
I didn't need to ask who it was anymore, because I already knew.
"Fucking Paul!" he spat out.
I stood there for a moment, anger still flowing through my body after seeing the attack in Jasper's mind. It was almost like I'd been there myself. I looked back at him, smiling slightly at the way he held Alice so tenderly in his arms, she was so still and peaceful.
Still and peaceful?
Shit!
After a vampire bite, the last thing you'd be, was still and peaceful. Something was wrong.
Very fucking wrong.
"Jasper?" I whispered, almost afraid to say it out loud. "If you bit her, she should be writhing in agony by now."
"I know." he answered, his voice sounding flat and empty.
"After the first bite, when nothing happened, I bit her again and again, trying to get the venom into her faster, but there was still no fucking change." His shoulders slumped in defeat, "I don't know what's wrong with her."
Neither Jasper or I had ever changed a human before, but we both knew how it worked from personal experience. As soon as the venom entered her blood stream, it would cause a burning pain, which increased its intensity with time. By now, Alice should have been screaming at worst, in severe discomfort at best. But there was no movement and no sound, just nothing.
When Jasper met my gaze again, I hardly recognized him. His once happy and laid back personality was lost, replaced by sadness and despair.
"I can't fucking lose her now."
I knew then what we needed to do, I wasn't sure that Jas was going to like it very much but it was our only option. We had to move quickly too, I could hear the rumble of Bella's truck fast approaching. I also needed to get away from all this blood, I didn't know how Jas had suffered it for so long.
"You need to take her to Carlisle, right the fuck now. Bella is on her way back and she can't find you two here."
He nodded and stood up, adjusting Alice as he rose.
"Give me your shoes."
He shot me a 'what the fuck?' look and I quickly explained that he didn't need to be leaving bloody footprints all over the place. We ran from the house, straight into the forest at the back. I handed Jas his shoes, wished him luck and watched as he disappeared through the trees clutching tightly to Alice.
-oxo-
I'd watched the scene unfold as Bella and Jacob had pulled up in front of her house. I wanted nothing more than to run to her and offer my comfort when I heard her agonized sobs. But I had to watch as he tried to touch, he knew I was here and I'm sure he did it on purpose. I would have smiled when she shouted at him to leave her alone, if I didn't know how upset she was.
When she broke down, at the sight of Alice's blood soaked sweater, I had to bury my hands in the nearest tree, to stop myself from going to her. Instead, I watched helpless as they took her away to the station.
When I got the call to pick her up, I couldn't believe she had thought of me. I ran back to my house to get my car, not bothering to check on anyone inside as I needed to get back to Bella. Only when I had her in my arms, did I begin to relax.
-oxo-
"Jake? Over here."
At the sound of his name, Bella froze in my arms before turning her head so she could see who was shouting him. I followed her gaze and my hold on her tightened as I recognized Sam walking towards him. They began to talk in hushed whispers, I could still hear perfectly clearly and they knew it, but didn't seem to give a fuck.
Jacob explained what had happened, like Sam didn't already know. He looked over in my direction, yeah they both knew I'd been at the house, mine and Jasper's scent would have been easy to detect, not to mention Jas's fight with Paul. I wondered if they suspected what had happened to Alice. I could tell from their thoughts that they had their suspicions, but I wasn't about to confirm anything to them.
It started to get heated when Jacob asked about Paul and what the fuck had happened with Alice , Sam told him about the fight with Jasper and that basically he'd had his ass handed to him by the fucking leech. Jake smiled slightly at this, odd, I could tell from his thoughts that he was angry about Alice and was just about to have it out with Sam, but he didn't get the chance. Bella had seen the smile on his lips, and before I'd thought to stop her, she'd wriggled out of my arms and was marching over to the two of them.
"Bella?" I shouted after her, trying my hardest to stay at human speed as I hurried after her.
Me shouting her name had alerted them to her presence and they both turned in her direction.
"Bella, I'm so-"
It was all Jake managed to get out before Bella's right fist connected with his jaw. She put all her weight behind it, but being a wolf, Jake was far stronger than normal. I winced as she gasped and cradled her wrist to her chest. It didn't stop her though, I decided to hang back a little and let her get it all out.
"I should have told the fucking police all about you." She spat at him, her tone laced with hatred.
"How you tried to get me and Alice out of the house. I know you had something to do with this and I wont fucking rest until I find out what! This is all your fault and I fucking hate you!"
Jacob looked crushed by her outburst, but didn't say anything to defend himself. Sam on the other hand had this big fucking smirk on his face and I could tell from his thoughts that he was imagining Bella meeting the same fate as Alice. Not fucking likely.
I walked the last few steps to Bella's side and gathered her in my arms, careful to not to touch her injured hand. She leaned into me and I whispered into her ear for her to go wait in the car. She nodded and I reluctantly let her go.
"Cullen." Jake acknowledged me. "I know you were there, what did you do with her?" he looked at me accusingly.
I ignored him however and focused my attention on Sam.
"She's dead, but we didn't want to risk any chance of exposure, so we cleaned up your fucking mess."
It was untrue and although I hated saying the words, I didn't want them to know what had really happened to Alice. I knew the old treaty wasn't really in effect any longer, but there was no telling how they'd react to the fact that we'd essentially broken it. According to the old one, we weren't allowed to bite humans, no matter what.
"Just to be clear, Cullen, next time stay out of our fucking business. If you interfere again your boy won't be so lucky." Sam replied, trying to sound threatening.
"Jasper can take care of himself. You shouldn't have attacked an innocent girl if you didn't want any interference from us. And, " I leaned a little closer to him, "just to be clear, if any of you fuckers come anywhere near Bella , I will rip your motherfucking throats out."
"Whatever." he said, trying to sound unaffected by my threat.
Unfortunately for him, his thoughts told me otherwise and I smirked as I turned and headed back to my car and Bella.
-oxo-
I made a quick call to Carlisle before I reached the car. Bella was coming home with me and I needed to make sure Jasper and Alice were nowhere near the house. Thankfully he assured me they were long gone. They, along with Rosalie, were now staying in our cabin up in the mountains, it' was far enough away that there should be no problem with bringing Bella back. I needed Carlisle to look at her hand, and there was no way she could return to her house just yet.
The ride back to my house was silent, I didn't mention any of what happened outside the station and Bella sat quietly, gently resting her injured hand on her lap. She cleared her throat and I turned my head to look at her.
"Um..where are you taking me?" she asked, quietly.
"I thought we'd go to my house. Carlisle can check your hand for you." she looked down briefly at her hand and nodded.
"Ok."
"I thought you could stay there for the next few days," I added. "Since you can't really go back home just yet."
"Oh, of course." she whispered, closing her eyes and letting out a shuddering breath. "Thank you, Edward."
I know it was wholly inappropriate, considering the circumstances, but I couldn't help the warm feeling that invaded my body when she whispered my name. I was more than a little excited at the prospect of having her in my house again for the next few days. I just needed to remember the events that had brought her here and how fragile she was. I wanted nothing more than to take care of her, but I needed to be careful. I suspected my feelings for Bella were far stronger than hers were for me and this was definitely not the time to be expressing them. She needed my comfort and support right now and that would have to be enough.
When we arrived at my house, I took Bella straight up to my room and got her settled in my bed. I left her tucked under my covers, promising that I'd be right back with Carlisle, so he could have a look at her hand.
"Hurry" she said as I opened the door. "I ..I don't want to be alone."
She looked up at me with her broken expression, her big brown eyes full of pain and I wanted nothing more than to run and find Paul, tearing him limb from limb for what he'd done. I reigned in my temper and offered her a small smile instead.
"I promise."
I flew down the stairs and met Carlisle in the kitchen, he'd already grabbed his black medical bag and was preparing to come upstairs. He already knew what had happened from Jasper, but I wanted to talk to him about Alice, and I knew he had questions for me too.
"We'll talk later, Edward. Lets get Bella sorted first."
I nodded and led him quickly back up to my room.
Bella was curled up in a ball, crying softly. I immediately went to her side, sitting on the edge of my bed and taking hold of her uninjured hand in mine.
"Carlisle's going to examine your hand, Bella, then he'll give you something for the pain and to help you sleep.
"Ok." she replied, watching closely as Carlisle took my place next to her.
He gently took her hand, running his fingers over it to assess the damage. I flinched when she gasped from the pain, unable to stop the small growl that rumbled in my chest.
Easy Edward, I'm trying to help.
Carlisle scolded me softly in his thoughts.
"I know, sorry." I replied, too quietly for Bella to hear.
It turned out that her hand wasn't broken, just badly bruised. Carlisle wrapped it in a bandage and gave her something for the pain. He left shortly afterward and I promised to join him downstairs, once Bella had fallen asleep.
I was back in my position, sat by her side on the bed. She reached for my hand and held it tightly in hers.
"Will you hold me? ….Please.."
"Of course I will." I replied, there was no way I could refuse her, even if I wanted to. The need to touch her was almost unbearable.
I walked round to the other side of the bed and climbed on beside her, staying on top of the covers. She turned over and snuggled under my arm, resting her head on my chest, her injured hand laying across my stomach. She took a shaky breath in and closed her eyes, her breathing evening out as she fell asleep. I held her against me, my nose in her hair, enveloping myself in her scent. I stayed there for as long as possible, but I could hear Carlisle's impatient thoughts as he waited downstairs for me.
Reluctantly, I removed myself from underneath Bella, sliding the spare pillow into the empty space I'd left. She mumbled something incoherent and snuggled up to the pillow. I bent down, placing a soft kiss against her temple, then left, shutting the door quietly behind me.
-oxo-
The first thing I asked Carlisle was about Alice. What had gone wrong with her change? He didn't seem to think anything was wrong, her body seemed to be going through the changes as expected, but he was mystified as to why she was so quiet. He suggested the only thing we could do, was to wait for the venom to run its course and see what happened. I imagined Jas was less than thrilled at the news and I told him so. He chuckled slightly and told me that Jasper had some very colorful words for him.
I didn't ask what will happen once she does wake up. I have enough on my mind with Bella.
We discussed the wolves and their possible reasons for the attack, both of us struggling to come with a good reason. More investigation is needed, but I won't be leaving Bella's side for the foreseeable future.
She slept all night and for most of the morning, only stirring when I took her up some lunch that Esme had prepared. She ate a little, then went back to sleep as I played with her hair.
I woke her a little later for some more food, she ate more this time and even got up to have a shower, afterward. She asked me to stay, so I settled down next to her on the bed.
"It's all my fault you know." She said, after a while.
"Bella, it's-" I tried to tell her its not, but she wouldn't let me.
"No, it is. I knew there was something funny about his call, I should never have gone and left her. I should never have trusted him." Her voice broke on the last few words and I could tell she'd started to cry.
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as tight as I dared, while she sobbed against my chest. I smoothed her hair, telling her it wasn't her fault. I wished right then that I could explain everything, then she'd believe that there was nothing she could have done. I wanted to tell her about Alice, that there was still some hope that she might see her friend again, maybe. But I couldn't, so I kept quiet and soothed her the best way I knew how.
Her sobs eventually subsided and I felt her small arms snake up and around my neck. I registered the change in her breathing and I halted my movements on her hair.
"Bella?" I said, cautiously. Hoping I'd read her wrong.
"Alice was right," she answered, her voice muffled slightly by my shoulder.
"About what?"
"Life is too short. I over think things, I need to follow my heart and forget about everything else. You never know how much time you really have."
I heard the tears in her voice as she spoke, obviously thinking about Alice. She took a deep breath, as if to push the hurt back down and lifted her head to look up at me.
"I don't want to stay away from you anymore, Edward."
She placed her lips tentatively against mine and kissed me, softly, barely there. It took all my self control not to grab her and kiss her back, hard, but I knew this was wrong. She was upset, hurting, I couldn't take advantage of her like that.
I took her face in my hands and gently pushed her away.
"Bella. I cant, It's not-"
"Shh... Edward." she interrupted, placing a finger on my lips. "I know what you're going to say. That this is wrong, that I'm only doing this because I'm upset and emotional."
"It is wrong. As much as I want to be with you, I won't take advantage of you. The last two days have been truly awful and you need to rest. This is not what you need right now." I tried to push her back down onto the bed, but she resisted, strongly.
"You're wrong. This is exactly what I need." She replied vehemently.
"I want to feel...something...good. I've felt nothing but lost since Charlie died, ...and now with Alice..." she took a shaky breath to calm herself, "I just... I need this...please."
I shook my head, clinging to my self-control for all I was worth.
"I can't Bella...I'm sorry."
A look of rejection washed over her face and it made my chest ache to know that I was the cause.
"Bella, I want to, ..so much.." I said stroking her cheek. "But you know why I can't. You'll regret this tomorrow. I can't do that to you... I just..I can't"
"I won't regret it, I promise." She looked at me, pleadingly, as a lone tear slid down her cheek. "Don't make me beg, ...Edward."
I knew it was wrong, but there was no way I could refuse her any longer when she asked me like that. I couldn't cause her any more pain, and I knew if I rejected her again it would hurt her. So, I ignored all the warning bells going off in my head, took her face in my hands once again and kissed her.
She melted into my arms, pushing her hands up into my hair and holding on tight. I lowered her back down onto my bed and she went willingly this time. I barely registered the thoughts of my family as they all left the house, giving us some privacy.
I continued to kiss her, soft and slowly, taking my time. With one hand still holding her cheek, I let the other trail down her throat, pausing to feel her pulse racing beneath my finger tips. I broke the kiss to let her get some air, following the path of my fingers with my mouth and peppering kisses over her silky skin. I nipped and sucked as I made my way down, stopping only to remove her tank top so I had access to all of her. She readily lifted her arms so I could pull it off and toss it to the floor.
I paused, taking a moment to admire her beautiful body. She squirmed slightly and went to cover her chest with her arms.
"Don't." I whispered. "You're so beautiful, Bella."
I bent down and kissed her, hard this time, unable to contain my growing passion. My hand found its way to her breast, cupping it firmly and running my thumb over her nipple. She gasped into my mouth and ground her hips against me. My mouth now replaced my thumb and I flicked my tongue over her before sucking her hardened peak into my mouth.
"So cold..." she breathed, causing my movements to still immediately
This was the moment I'd been dreading, with everything that had happened I'd forgotten that she would noticed my coldness, now more than ever.
Stupid!
But she surprised me again, grabbing my head and pushing me back to her chest.
"Please don't stop..." she moaned, "...so..good.."
I needed no more encouragement to carry on where I'd left off, kissing every inch of her as I traveled down her body. I hooked my fingers into her panties and slid them down her legs, throwing them on the floor to join her top. She was glorious, lying naked before me, on my bed and I wanted nothing more at that moment than to be buried deep inside her. Giving her everything I had, if that's what she needed.
I stood up, never taking my eyes from hers as I removed my t shirt, followed swiftly by my jeans. I wasn't wearing underwear and I watched her eyes grow wide when my erection sprang free.
I crawled back up the bed until I was hovering over her. I kissed her again, shifting onto my side and sliding my hand between her legs. She was wet, so wet for me and my cock twitched in anticipation. I continued to kiss her as I slipped a finger into her warmth, she moaned into my mouth and bucked her hips against my hand. I slipped in a second finger and began to move them, slowly, in and out of her.
"Oh,.. Edward!" she gasped, breaking the kiss, so I moved to her neck and continued there. "I ..want you...inside of me.."
I smiled against her skin, but held off a little longer.
"Oh...God..." she cried as I moved my fingers faster and harder. "I ...need ...to feel...all of you...now!"
I withdrew my fingers, quickly slipping them into my mouth for a taste, before positioning myself between her legs.
"Are you sure?" I asked, one last time, looking deeply into her eyes for any hesitancy. I saw none and when she nodded her head, yes, I couldn't hold back any longer.
Ever so slowly, using all my control so as not to hurt her, I pushed myself all the way inside.
Holy Shit!
I had to remain still for a few moments to steady myself. The feeling of being inside Bella, was incredible. I needed to regain my focus or things would turn out very badly.
"Edward?" she asked, looking up at me with concern.
"Just give me a minute. It feels...it feels almost too good." I told her, smiling a little, to reassure her.
As soon as I felt in control again, I began to move, long, deep strokes, making her moan and writhe beneath me. She slid her legs up, hooking them behind my back and pulling me closer. I slipped my hands underneath her shoulders, holding her in place, while I increased my pace.
"Edward!" she moaned against my ear, her hot breath tickling my cold skin. "Harder..."
I willingly obliged, using as much forced as I dared, to bring her pleasure. I could feel her start to tighten around me, and I knew I wouldn't be long. I ground my hips against her, putting pressure where I knew she needed it, causing her to exploded around me.
"Oh.. my.. God!" She screamed, clinging on to me while she rode out her orgasm.
That was my undoing and I fell over the edge with her, whispering her name over and over as I held onto her, not wanting to ever let go.
I kept her in my arms as I listened to her breathing calm down, reluctantly withdrawing from her and pulling her into my side as I rolled onto my back.
"Thank you." She whispered into my chest.
I didn't answer, I didn't think she really wanted one anyway. I just kissed her head and trailed my fingers up and down her spine, willing her to go to sleep. It had been an exhausting two days, and she was still so tired. I heard her heart slow as she settled into a deep sleep, but I continued to hold her in my arms, there was no place I would rather be.
When I was absolutely certain she was asleep, I finally let my feelings take over me.
"I love you." I said softly, into the darkness.
I knew she wouldn't hear me, but I wanted to say it anyway. I'd known I had strong feeling for her, but after what we'd just shared, I realized just how much I cared.. I knew I had to tell her about me, what I was, but I was so scared of her reaction, especially now. I just hoped, with everything that I had, that she wouldn't regret this when she eventually found out.
-oxo-
I held Bella in my arms all night, while she slept, soothing her when she tossed and turned in her dreams. It wasn't until I saw the morning light creeping at the edges of my heavy curtains, that I heard the thoughts of my returning family. I wanted to talk to Carlisle, so I once again removed my self from Bella's grasp, taking extra care not to wake her.
They were in the living room, Emmett and Esme got up to leave as soon I arrived. But not before Emmett mouthed the words 'nicely done' and waggled his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes at him and turned towards Carlisle.
"Edward?" he said, looking at me curiously. "Is there something you want to talk about?"
There was no easy way to do this, I knew he wasn't going to like what I had to say, but I had to do it regardless.
"I want to tell her." I said, "I want to tell Bella, everything."
He closed his eyed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was blocking his thoughts from me, so I knew this wouldn't be good.
"You can't tell her." He said eventually, "you know this."
"She thinks Alice is dead, for fuck's sake!" I yelled, remembering how broken she was because of this.
"The Alice she knew, is dead!" He replied, his voice matching mine.
"But, in time she could-"
"No, Edward!" he interrupted me.
I was so angry with him, the woman I loved was hurting and I knew I could help to make it better, if only he'd let me. Yes, Alice would be like me now, but in time, she and Bella could see each other again., I just had to tell her and make her understand. But I needed Carlisle's help to do this and he wasn't going to give it.
"They could still have a relationship!" I shouted at him.
"She's gone." He shouted back, almost as angry as me. "As far as Bella is concerned, she is gone."
"But in less than a days time, hopefully, Alice will wake up and be just like us!"
Everything seemed to happen at once as the words left my mouth. Esme rushed in, her face a mask of horror. Too late, I heard Bella's heart rate increase signaling she was waking up, and lastly her audible gasp as she undoubtedly heard the last part of the heated conversation between Carlisle and I.
"Fuck!"Carlisle and Esme said together.
Although this was not how I wanted her to find out, there was no choice now but to tell her. I just hoped she would understand. I didn't look back at my family and the disappointed looks I knew I would find, instead I walked towards the stairs and up to my bedroom, both excited and terrified that Bella would soon know my secret.
-oxo-
a/n For those of you who were mad with Bella after the last chapter, I hope you like her a bit more now. As always, please review and leave me your thoughts.