Days pass. Misa was executed two days ago, with great sorrow from the public, but great joy from the Task Force.
L and I have been talking frequently since the conclusion of the case. He confessed to his taste in music, and to his love of novels, which didn't surprise me. He let slip that he had a sister at some point, but clammed up once he realized it, and has said nothing more on the subject.
The building, now, has been packed up and cleared out. The Task Force dismantled this morning, and I alone volunteered to assist in packing away the last of the things that were here. L seemed indifferent to my offer.
I glance around at the empty room, remembering where everything was. It's late evening, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I am completely alone. There are no cameras left in the entire building. L and Watari are upstairs somewhere, doing whatever it is that needs to be done, I'm sure.
Footsteps sound on the stairs, the noise echoing in the bare room. I glance over to find L walking towards me, his posture straight and his hands in his pockets. He has on his normal jeans, but has on a simple blue and black plaid button-down instead of the obnoxious while shirt he'd been wearing. He looks relaxed and open, casual and human, above all, and the sight is breathtaking. He smiles at me, and it's a real smile, not at all faked or forced.
He comes to a stop next to me, and stares at me for a second, and then states quite plainly, "I do have a personality beneath the façade I put up for cases, you know."
I jolt, and a blush works up my neck despite my efforts. He laughs at my discomfort.
Determined to forget the incident, I ask loudly, "So what happens now?"
L calms immediately. He stares at me for a moment again, then, "I'm going home. I'm going to take a break. Everyone agreed that I deserve it." He glances around before resettling his gaze on my face. "Japan is great and all, but I miss the English countryside. I am done here."
Some part of me is disappointed. I was hoping - foolishly - for something more. Another case, maybe. But there is nothing, I know. He has no reason to stay. He does deserve to go home. I'm jealous. I wish that I had the chance to take a break. But my life has barely begun, I know, and I have to make a few more kick-starts before I can do anything more. It's frustrating. I'd been given this huge chance at the life I've always wanted, and now - now it's going to end, and it will be several years before I reach this point again.
Some part of that must show on my face, because L looks vaguely concerned for a moment. I collect myself, and smile at him. He wavers, before seeming to decide to let it go, and he smiles back. Then his phone rings. He turns away and answers, and pauses for a moment before hanging up. He turns back to me. "My helicopter is ready to go," is all he says. But it is enough.
"Good luck," I tell him with a smile, and wave him away. He glances at the elevator as I turn to walk out of the building, out of this life, out of L's life. This chapter is closed.
He grabs my arm and spins me around. I yelp in alarm, caught off-guard, but any questions I might've had are smothered when L kisses me.
Heat rushes over me in waves, and I know, I really know, that whatever happens in my life after this, I will never forget this moment. I will never be able to recover fully. He has broken me so fully in this moment. I was already nearing this point, but there is something different about breaking in the arms of someone else.
But right now, right now… right now I don't care. I kiss back feverishly, my arms going up to wrap around his neck. I have to stand on my tiptoes now that L is standing up straight, but that feels right somehow. It feels right to have his arm around my waist and the other hand cupping my face. It feels right to kiss like this, rough and demanding, instead of holding women to me and tasting their lipstick and feeling their smaller, more fragile bodies against me. It feels right to submit for once instead of control everything.
It could have been a minute or an hour, but it isn't too long before L sits down and tugs me into his lap, and it's there that we continue kissing. I move from his lips to his neck, sucking hard on his pulse, while he tugs my hair. He gives me the same treatment, and lies me on my back and hovers over me. I pull him down on top of me, and the make-out session gets much more heated very quickly.
He pulls away first, and we stare at each other. His hair is a mess, more so than usual, and his lips are swollen and red. There's a dazed look in his eyes, but it goes away quickly. I doubt it disappears nearly as fast in my eyes. My heart is racing. I'm breathing like I ran for miles. I've never gotten this worked up over a few kisses before.
L stands. He straightens his clothes and helps me up. He holds me for a minute, my head in the crook of his neck and his chin resting on my head. His hands run up and down my back, and I feel like crying. Why did he do that?
This isn't fair. Everything I want is right here, and soon, it will all go away.
I feel like such a child, but I think I have a right to be. I'm not even legal yet. I'm in college, sure, and am more mature than most people usually, but this is not what happens to me usually. I don't usually assist the best detective in the world in the toughest case the world has ever seen. I don't usually fall in love with someone who will leave me.
I don't usually fall in love. I've never done that one.
If this is what it feels like, then I never want to do it again.
We pull away from each other and L turns to go. I stand to watch him. He makes it to the elevator before he turns around.
A chain that bore a locket on the end is tossed to me, just as L presses the button for the elevator. Luckily, I catch it, then I look up, desperate, and a soft, fond smile is on L's lips. The glassy mask he always wears does not cover his onyx eyes. "I'll need that, someday," he says, and steps into the elevator. "It was my mother's, and it is very dear to me. Keep it safe, Raito."
And then the doors slide shut, and I am left standing alone in the Task Force Headquarters' main lobby, staring at the elevator door. Knowing that L wouldn't have given it to me had he not been okay with me opening it, I unlock the gold charm and peer at the picture inside.
There is a picture of five people, standing in front of a small, run-down building. A man has his arms around a woman, and his other hand resting on the shoulder of a young girl. Two small, identical boys stand in front of them. The man is tall, with dark hair and a kind, but almost wild smile on his face. He has light blue eyes. The woman's hair is dark, too, and I can see that she has onyx eyes, just like L. She is smiling brightly, but her face looks broken, at the same time. The girl is very nearly the copy of her mother, but with her father's eyes. The boys, clearly, are L and his twin brother. There is no one else they could be, though I had no idea that L even had a twin brother.
Gently, I close the locket and make my way out of the Task Force's ex-Headquarters; my lips tingling from the kiss L and I had shared. I smile, and press my fingertips to my mouth, just as I step outside. I slip the locket into my pocket.
edits completed: midnight, June 18, 2019. what I should've been doing: my homework for my archaeological anthropology class. alas, it was not to be. I'll work on the sequel next. wish me luck.