1
Sarah hasn't been avoiding me which is odd and unexpected behaviour considering our last encounter. I am confused and yet also happy, mixed emotions are strange things. I continue to watch her as surreptitiously as I can. I know she can feel me watching her however and I have noticed her interest as I catch her watching me as well. Today is a day like any other and I am doing one of the things I enjoy most. I am watching her.
She is in her bedroom wearing her work out clothes, as John calls them. I always enjoy watching Sarah but when she is exercising I am even more rapt in my attention. I begin to analyze why that is. I believe it is a combination of many reasons. I enjoy when her hair is in a messy ponytail. I enjoy watching the muscles in her body ripple under the strain. I enjoy watching Sarah's body when she wears tank tops. I enjoy watching her body perspire and her breathing speed up. But most of all I enjoy Sarah's intensity and focus. I am thankful for that intensity and focus now, for she has yet to realize I am watching her.
Her facial expression changes to one of pain at the same time she emits a grunt. She rolls onto her back ceasing her pushups and grabs at her thigh immediately. Muscle spasm, I realize. I rush to her side and push her hands away from her thigh as I find the cause of her pain and begin rubbing in circular motions knowing soon her pain will cease and I will have to stop touching her, unfortunately. But as per usual Sarah's discomfort is at the forefront of my priorities. I look up from my task for a moment and Sarah is staring at me, the look on her face indescribable. Though she does not seem to be in any further pain I continue to rub her thigh somewhat more softly than before. She has not told me to discontinue my actions, I rationalize. She places her hand atop mine on her thigh but I continue touching her. I know it's irrational. I know that it is dangerous and could incur her anger but I continue. I realize then I have completely lost my objectivity in the case of Sarah Connor.
"Um, thanks Cameron." she says, her voice slightly lower than normal.
I look up once more and reply, "You're welcome Sarah." my voice also intoning at a somewhat lower level as well.
I have become sexually stimulated because of this situation and so has Sarah. Her physical reactions to me make it clear. I make a quick decision, without weighing out the why's and why not's, without the reasoning of should and should not as I lean forward and touch my lips to hers.
If I had a heartbeat I believe it would have stopped beating at that moment. My soft lips meshed with hers and it felt beautiful. It felt better then dancing or anything else I'd ever experienced. Sarah's first intake of breath when our lips touched is now my favourite sound. Beethoven has been relegated to second place.
Sarah pulls away from me and stares at me, in shock perhaps? Her anger is only moments away, I must try to diffuse it.
"I apologize if I've, pissed you off." I say haltingly. I will not apologize for kissing her because I know it is what we both wanted, even if she will never admit it.
"It's," she breaths out, "It's okay. I understand you have a crush on me." Sarah says.
Her face is flush and her chest is rising and falling rapidly. A small droplet of sweat is falling from her neck down her clavicle. Her lips quiver slightly and all I can think about is kissing her again. And because she said it was okay I proceed to lean in again and this time my passion is undeniable. I kiss her with fervor. I want her to know it's me, Cameron that is kissing her. I want her to know how she makes me feel. I just want her.
My lips are firm against hers and my hands are in her hair as I straddle her legs. I feel her hands cup my ass and her tongue press into my mouth. I believe I am feeling intoxicated. I cannot abuse alcohol or drugs and have that effect but I am drunk in the feeling of Sarah Connor.
She grabs my arms then and pushes me away. "I, we, can't do this." She gasps out.
"Why?" I ask, needing to understand her reasoning.
"We just can't." She states, her eyes now hard. She is still fighting this, fighting me. She gets up off of the floor and a few moments later I hear the shower turn on. I feel myself sobering from the kiss as I recall something a student said at school. 'Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.' If only I could, I think as I slowly stand up from the floor and exit her room. I go to my room and stand by the window as I replay the memory of our lips together over and over in my mind.