(A/N:) Hello Dear Roses! There could be some upsetting things in this chapter since I explain Xion's death, and I don't want you guys flipping out so proceed with caution, alright? No go and enjoy this chapter and have a lovely day my Lovey Roses! - Melodious A.

I could hear birds chirping as I slowly drifted into the waking world. I lie still with my eyes closed, listening to the loud tweets signaling that it was daylight. Not quite ready to get up, I stretched my limbs before snuggling deeper into the warmth.

"Mm quit it, that tickles…"

I shot upright, wide eyed in shock to see Axel—a very naked Axel—in bed next to me, covered partially with only a towel. I gawked at him for a moment before launching into a slew of questions. His arm shot out, pulling me down onto his shoulder and effectively silencing me.

"Well good morning to you too, Sunshine." He said, lazily cracking an eye to look down at me. His eye slid closed again and he just smiled, letting out a huge sigh. "How nice it is to wake up and see you there next to me Roxas." He muttered before suddenly shifting onto his side, my head now resting on one of my pillows.

"Axel…?" I started. He hummed in acknowledgement. "D-did we…?"

"No, we didn't…" He blinked at me before frowning and sighing again. "Roxas, I need to ask you something." He propped himself up on an elbow. "I want for us to be together. I can't explain why but I feel such a strong bond with you, and I think about you all the time, almost non-stop. Rox… I… I want to date you… Will you…" He looked me directly in the eyes. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"I-I…" I was taken aback. Not wanting to look him in the eye, I rolled away. "You'd get hurt… We'd both end up unhappy… I'm not the best of partners after all…"

He grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to face him.

"Roxas, with all the time we've spent together I consider you my best friend. I think I know you and trust you better than anyone. I—"

"No Axel, you don't. You may think you know, but I haven't told you… everything…" I sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees. "I'm a horrible, selfish person and I'm only needed for fucking. I'm not boyfriend material…"

Axel was quiet for a moment. "… Is that why you were crying last night? Because you thought I only wanted sex?"

I looked at my toes before curling them into the sheets. "Yeah… That's all any guy ever wanted from me… Besides I'm… I'm still trying to get over something…" I felt his hand on the small of my back.

"Want to talk about it? I won't judge, I promise Rox." I sighed and flopped down into my pillows and looked over at Axel, those green eyes filled with concern. Where do I even start? From the beginning I guess…

"Xion and I were best friends. We spent a lot of time together and did basically everything together. She always counted on me to make her feel better. You see, her mom was always working and her step dad was an asshole who abused her. Whenever they got into an argument, her step dad would always take it out on her.

"Most times Xion was lucky enough to get away before the arguments got bad. She'd always sneak through my window and lay with me. I'd hold her close and we'd talk, or sometimes she'd just cry. Sometimes she didn't get away though, but she'd still come see me."

Axel made an apologetic sound, but let me continue.

"I cared for her so much. I'd always tell her that no matter what, I'd always love her, and I'd always be there for her…"

"You loved her?" Axel asked with a small frown.

"Yeah, but like a sister. I… I never told her that I was struggling with my sexuality. Hell I never told anyone… but I should have…" I paused and took a deep breath. "One night Xion came to see me and she was beat up pretty bad. When she got in my bed, she kissed me and begged me to help her forget, at least for one night…"

Axel's eyes grew wide. "You didn't…!"

"I did… We did… She cried the entire time, and it made me feel even weirder. We started dating after that, and even stayed together when we graduated high school and went to different colleges. I was good to her though. Anything she asked for, she got it… but in honesty I was really just going through the motions… Then I met Vanitas. We started talking and hanging out and I slowly became attracted to him, and I know he could tell… I started blowing Xion off more and more often. I even started kicking her out some nights, giving her half ass excuses…

"There was this one night when I went to a party with Olette— she's another friend of mine— and we got completely and utterly drunk. When I finally made it home I found my parents having an argument in the yard. Since I was wasted, I didn't feel like being bothered with their shit so I went to Vanitas' place. How I even made it without crashing is beyond me. So by this time we'd been flirting and crap for weeks. Anyways, he noticed I was drunk and offered me to stay the night. He got me is his bed and… 'Persuaded' me to have sex with him."

I stopped when I noticed the angry look on Axel's face. He had the meanest scowl on his face, but he said nothing.

"A-and… Xion called several times, and left several voice messages… Vanitas got angry and asked who she was and I…" I choked, trying hard not to tear up. "And I told him she was nobody like a fucking scumbag! When I finally saw her again… Oh god you should have seen her… She looked like a ghost. A beat up ghost. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong or what had happened or anything. All she kept saying was, 'you weren't there Roxas.' I got annoyed because she wouldn't tell me and made her leave… Later that week my parents had another argument so I went to see Vanitas again and we… you know… did it again…

Axel's eyes narrowed, but still he said nothing.

"Xion called shortly after. She was crying and hysterical… That's when she told me everything… her step dad had been raping her… and now she was scared that she was pregnant… Before I could even respond, Vanitas took my phone and hung up on her. I got angry and we argued and he accused me of cheating… I guess I was. But then again I was cheating on them both wasn't I? Anyway, I told him that I was with Xion first and that he didn't even really matter to me and we were never dating in the first place. He threw me out and I immediately went to look for Xion. I looked for her until six in the morning.

"I finally found her when I went home. She was curled up on my bed, crying. I held her and she cried for what seemed like hours. When she finally stopped, I told her the truth. About everything. When I finished explaining, she just shook her head and left. She might as well have slapped me across the face." I said miserably. Sighing, I scrubbed my hands down my face.

"I locked myself in my room until Xion texted me later that night… Her mom found the pregnancy test and was going to throw her out… In the message she said she was going to look for a way out and she was going to the clock tower to think… I wanted to talk to her face to face again so I set out to meet her at the clock tower… Oh god I wish I had just known!" I said, slamming a fist against the mattress. Axel gingerly placed his hand over mine and gave it a light squeeze.

"I-it was raining a little by the time I got there, just a drizzle really, but I didn't see her anywhere so I figured she'd just climbed up to the observing platform… I decided to call her to make sure, but she didn't answer… but suddenly I heard a noise near the entrance of the tower so I went and investigated… It was her phone, completely destroyed from the fall… I…I…" Swallowing hard, I tried not to break down.

"I looked up, and I could see her standing at the edge… I screamed and pleaded for her to stop… I watched… I watched her fall… and I watched her die…" I managed to say before breaking into sobs.

"Oh Roxas…" Axel hugged me to his chest, holding me tight. He let me stay there until I couldn't cry anymore. "Roxas, thank you for telling me that… I'm sorry you had to experience something like that and I'm sorry you lost someone so close to you…" He ran his fingers through my hair as my sniffles subsided.

"The incident made the news…" I said after I had calmed down enough. "After I was interviewed my mom saw fit to send me to counseling. The counselor suggested I tell my mom about my feelings and my sexuality because usually moms are more understanding, right? Yeah so I told her, but my dad overheard from the next room. He's not one for… those kinds of things... Needless to say the shit hit the fan… He threw me out and tried to take my tuition money away, but luckily only mom had a say-so over that matter. I moved in with Light and graduated from school the following year. I tried dating still, but came to realize I had lingering feelings for Vanitas… I tried to rekindle that relationship but that was a disaster and I was even more heartbroken… I didn't try dating again, not wanting to get hurt, nor hurt anyone else, again…" I sighed.

"Roxas, I promise you I don't just want you for sex, and I think our bond is even stronger now. But if you say no to my question, I completely understand and I won't bother you anymore."

I looked up at him, studying his face. "I'll answer your question if you answer mine honestly."

He gave me a puzzled look but nodded anyway. "Sure, shoot."

"You had a plan yesterday, didn't you?"

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you thought long and hard about how you wanted yesterday to go, didn't you? Why else would you ask when I get off from work, show up on my last hour and break up with your girlfriend basically right in front of me? Then how convenient it is that Light wasn't home? Well, we still got caught but you know where I'm coming from."

Axel looked away before grinning sheepishly at me. "Alright you caught me. I wanted everything to be perfect so I could ask you last night but fate was against me I guess." He chuckled. "I happened to run into Lightning while she was on duty the day before and we chatted for a bit. She told me about her assignment and I figured yes, now I can definitely have Roxas to myself at his place!"

"But Light's usually at work when you're here anyway, so that doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, but she always comes home doesn't she? Now shush and let me finish." He said, pressing a finger against my lips. "I wanted to sleep your bed and cuddle and everything else without your cousin flipping her shit about it. Heh, I guess I got to anyway huh?"

"Yeah I guess so… Look Axel, I… I don't know if I can be with you… I mean… Yeah, I like you, I like you a lot in fact but… I don't want to get sucked in and have my heart broken again, or watch something happen to you. You can never love someone as much as you can miss them… I don't want to love you, and then miss you more than I loved you…

Axel smiled softly before pulling me to his chest. "Rox, nothing's gonna happen to me. Don't you know I'm harder to get rid of than a roach?"

I chuckled. "Well yeah, that's true… Alright Axel, I've got an answer for you… My answer is yes."

XxxxxxxxxX

And here I am with the next chapter c: I hope you enjoyed it!

Review Please and thank you!

Yours,
Melodious Authoress