Color Coded
Stagnant, that's what Futaba's mind felt like. Not because she couldn't think of anything, but because she was thinking too much.
Her friend Kana's visit was drawing closer and her once overwhelming joy at the the prospect of seeing her best friend for the first time in forever was now replaced by a growing sense of dread. She had been texting Kana almost non-stop the past few days with her friend's replies growing increasingly infrequent.
Was she annoying her? What if she got so annoyed she decided not to come. Was she in trouble with her parents again? If she was, why wouldn't she say anything? Surely, she knew that she could tell her anything? Unless...
Unless Kana wasn't her best friend anymore. The pair had only recently started talking again. The wounds from there parting were still fresh. Although Kana had told her everything was all a big misunderstanding and that Futaba had done nothing wrong, the fact remained that for a long time, Futaba thought Kana hated her.
Futaba had always thought that it was fair. She messed up, really messed up. It was only fair that she be punished for her wrongdoings. With all that seemingly behind them, Futaba had been hoping for a fresh start with a chance to redeem herself, but now she found their friendship on a precarious edge.
She ran her thumb over the edge of her phone, staring at the screen with dull eyes.
She worried Kana wasn't telling her something. Something important. A small fire sprang to life in her heart and she started to unlock her phone, ready to ask Kana if there was anything she needed to tell her, but the fire in her heart grew cold and faded into embers that floated from her chest and into her eyes, making them water.
Kana was fine. Kana was always fine. If something was wrong she would of text her about it the minute it started. She didn't need her protection. She never had, never would.
It was Futaba who was the problem.
On days like today, she was toxic. Impossible to please. Impossible to comfort. She clung onto Kana and the rest of her friends like a crutch whenever she started backsliding into the person she used to be before the Phantom Thieves. She even suspected that she hadn't changed at all. How long would it be before Kana caught on to this fact and left her to drown? How long until Akira came to the same conclusion?
Tears streaked down her cheeks as she buried her face in her pillow.
Why was she like this? Why? Why was it that the only she could be depended on for was unceremoniously fucking up everything that was good in her life?
She looked up at her phone as it buzzed in her hand, hurriedly unlocking it to find...an ad for Ultra-Sabers. Apparently, they were having a sale. Futaba sat up and went back to rubbing the edge of her phone as it buzzed again, showing a text from Akira.
It was a black and white picture of Jack from Bioshock, looking bloody and bruised, clutching his side with one hand and a wrench in the other. Before Akira could even send his caption, Futaba chuckled and typed out her reply.
Mood. Can you believe someone drew this? Look at the detail! Wait what? How is that mood?
Futaba cursed silently.
Haha sorry, just wasn't sure how to reply. You? Not geeking out to fanart? Riiiiight.
Shit
Color?
SHIT
Futaba hesitated before taking a shaky breath.
Orange.The response came instantly.
Coming over.
Futaba threw her phone across the room in frustration.
Damnit.
...
Akira and Futaba had long ago come up with a system to keep an eye on each other when their depression or anxiety reared its ugly head. A color-coded system that was easy to understand and quick to type.
Green was good. Nothing too complicated there.
Yellow was ok. Not great. Not bad. Just ok.
Orange was bad. A bad day that left them feeling sad, tired and stressed.
Red was really bad, asking the other to stop by and keep an eye on them and help them work through their episode.
Black was an emergency that meant they posed a risk to themselves or people around them.
Akira had contingencies in place for each color, especially now that he lived and worked at Leblanc. His first move had been to familiarize Sojiro with their color system. At first, he had been skeptical to the idea of simplifying complex emotions into basic colors but nevertheless accepted the system's efficiency.
Per his contingences, Akira told Sojiro what was going on and was able to get off work at Leblanc early and made his way to the Sakura residence. Bringing a small backpack that he kept stocked with games, movies, non-perishable snacks and of course Morgana, who brought his own supplies.
"So, what going on with Futaba again?" He asked. "Shouldn't the change of heart we triggered in her have fixed all this?"
Akira cringed at his friend, but only briefly. Morgana may have been the representation of the human spirit, but his grasp on the more complicated aspects of human emotions was still something he struggled with from time to time.
"Well we helped her a lot when we changed her heart, but at the end of the day, she's still sick. Depression isn't something that we, even with our powers, can get rid of. Futaba spent a long time thinking her mother's death was her fault. That kind of pain, it leaves some pretty serious scars. She may go through days like these for the rest of her life."
"So, she'll never be ok then?" Mona asked.
"I don't know…"
"That's ok though, she Takemi, and the Chief and us." His friend said with a determined nod.
"Exactly." Akira replied as they summited the stairs to the Sakura house, rapping gently on the door as he came to a stop.
No response.
Akira knocked again, a little more forcefully this time.
"Taba?"
Mona eye's narrowed as he listened in. He heard nothing from inside. No music. No game audio. No muttering about a particularly stubborn line of code. Nothing.
"Futaba?" Akira asked again, knocking even harder. Mona flinched at the sound of Joker raising his voice. He had never heard him shout like that since their days as Phantom Thieves. The young man clenched his fists and took a deep breath, trying to slow his racing heart.
She wouldn't that to him. She told him everything.
Everything…right?
"M-mona back up."
"Uh ok, what are you-"
"I'm gonna kick the door down."
"You're gonna WHAT?!"
"Futaba hang on!" Akira shouted as he brought up his leg only for the door to swing open. His better half was in black and white gym shorts and was wearing a white t-shirt with the Ravenclaw crest on the chest and the Hogwarts crest on both sleeves. Her headphones were resting on her neck, pinning some strands of frizzy red hair down and her violet eyes were filled with weariness.
"Hey hot stuff." She said weakly, trying to put on a brave smile and tried to look her boyfriend in the eyes. Akira shook his head and took a shaky breath.
"You scared me."
Futaba's eyes sunk to the floor.
"I'm really sorry…"
Akira pulled her into a hug, and she smushed herself against him as best she could, even stepping onto his shoes just to be closer.
"It's ok." He told her, rubbing her back as Mona threw his arms around her as well. Prompting her to whimper and hug him back before the three went inside, setting up camp on Futaba's bed. She brought over her gaming laptop which she placed in her lap as Akira pulled out his own laptop and Mona brought out his snacks and his Nintendo DS. Futaba dimmed the lights just a tad and lent up against her boyfriend before putting an arm around Mona, who scooted closer to her.
"Thanks guys." Futaba muttered as Akira pulled out a large bag of potato chips, opening it up and placing in next to Futaba.
"Whatcha wanna play?" Akira asked.
"Thinking…" His girlfriend told him before looking to Mona.
"What are you playin' bud?"
"Pokémon SoulSilver." He replied, showing his friend his Pokémon team. "Akira told me it's a classic when we found it in Akihabra a few days ago."
"Oh it's a classic alright. Looks like you're not too far in but you've already got a Cyndaquil, A Vulpix, A Hoothoot and a Sandshrew!? Nice Mona!" She told her friend, ruffling his hair.
"Thanks." He said with a smile before looking over to her computer.
"What are you and Joker gonna play?"
"I don't know…" She told him, taking off her glasses and using the bottom of her shirt to wipe away some smudges, looking to Akira in the corner of her vision.
"Any suggestions love?"
"Hmmm….how about ARK?"
"Oh yeah, we haven't played that in forever! Let's do it!"
"Alright, you got it!"
"What's ARK?" Moana wondered.
"It's a game where you're on this deserted island that's filled with dinosaurs and a bunch crazy sci-fi tech!"
"Sounds cool!"
"It's super fun, we'll have to get you a gaming laptop so you can play sometime." Futaba told him as she got her computer set up.
"Think Ann is playing?" She asked her boyfriend.
"No, she's had back to back photoshoots the past few days. She was saying it's been rough." Akira replied.
"Aw, poor Ann. She works so hard." Futaba muttered.
"I've always admired her drive." Mona said with a smile.
Futaba looked at Akira and gave him a smirk that said:
So cute!
"Haru's playing though!" Akira told her, nodding to acknowledge her little glance.
"Oh? Where's she at?"
"Uh I think she's in the jungle trying to find…uh, I'm not even going to try and say that." Akira told her as he read her last message. Futaba gestured for him to turn his computer towards her, where she saw the name Arthuraplura.
"Hmm, no idea, but we won't find any answers here. Let's check it out." She declared before the pair dived in.
…
After a few hours of stalking a giant centipede through the jungle, Haru finally had the new mount she had been trying to track down for weeks and the trio had managed to level up two times in one session, a rarity for a game like ARK.
During their playthrough, Akira had been watching Futaba closely, trying to read her mood. Once they were playing, her mood had improved but she was still looking pretty blue. Video games were helping, but the leader of the Phantom Thieves knew that it some time outside might to her some good.
Eager to see if he could rally the troops, Akira opened up the Discord chat app on his desktop and sent out a message.
Akira: Hey guys, anybody want to get together for a game called Fugitive? Futaba was telling me about it a little while ago.
His girlfriend's eyes lit up at the message and she quickly added on to it.
Futaba: My friend Kana was telling me about it! I can explain the rules when we meet up but basically, it's a big game of tag combined with king of the hill.
Ryuji: That sounds awesome! I just finished streaming some of Battlefield 5, so I'd be down with getting outside and getting some fresh air.
Mona: You don't take breaks when you stream?
Haru: Well It would mean Makoto and I have to post pone starting our playthrough of Alien Isolation, but that's ok. Something tells me she needs another day of mental prep time.
Ryuji: Course I do, I just don't go outside. Its usually a restroom break.
Makoto: That game just looks really scary ok?
Futaba: Oh it is! Mwhahaha! You will not be ready!
Makoto: Oh boy… _
Haru: Futaba…
Futaba: Sorry!
Ann: Fugitive huh? That sounds like a lot of fun! When and where do we wanna meet up?
Yusuke: Such an activity will require a wide-open space, not easy to find in the city. Perhaps Inokashira Park would suffice?
Akira: That'd be perfect!
Makoto: The park is open until 9 PM, that gives us two and half hours to meet up and play.
Yusuke: I will be ready to depart from my dorm in 45 minutes. It won't take me long to get to Inokashira.
Ann: I just finished up with a photoshoot, So I need to change into work out clothes and eat some dinner but after that I'm down to play.
Ryuji: I'm ready to go when everyone else is. I'll probably make myself some dinner before I head out as well.
Makoto: I'm actually on my way to Haru's to have dinner as well, so we'll head over together.
Haru: Dinner should be ready by the time you get here, I'm trying a new recipe tonight. I hope you like it!
Makoto: Can't wait! :)
Haru: XOXO
Ryuji: Jeez get a room you two!
Haru: XP
Makoto: Alright, we'll take yours, since you aren't using it for anything.
Futaba: Holy shit! That was awesome Queen! XD
Ryuji: For your information, I actually I am using it. Olivia is coming over later tonight to watch a movie, but now we might have to reschedule.
Ann: NOPE! Tell her to join us!
Futaba: YAAAS
Akira sent a GIF of Shia Lebouf's infamous, Just DO IT skit.
Haru: You should invite her! The more the merrier!
Makoto: Definitely! Now that you two are seeing each other, I need to make an assessment on how good of a girlfriend she is being.
Ann: Come on Skull, do it!
Yusuke: I believe the team has spoken Ryuji.
Ryuji: I guess they have, I'll give her a shout.
Futaba: YIS!
Ann: Hey guys, is it ok if I invite Shiho along? She's in town for a family reunion and I bet she'd love to see everyone.
Akira: Of course!
Makoto: I haven't seen her in forever! Definitely see if she wants to tag along.
Ann: Ok!
Akira: Anybody mind if I see in Mishima wants to tag along?
Ryuji: Go ahead dude!
"Alright, let's get ready to go everyone." Akira announced as Futaba started to get up off of her bed only to notice the weight up against her side wasn't moving. She turned to see that Mona was fast asleep, DS in his lap, curled up against her.
"Akira…" Futaba whispered, prompting him to turn and look at who was essentially his little brother cuddled up against his girlfriend.
"I need to shower but I don't want to move." She muttered, running her hands through Morgana's hair and scratching his scalp with her fingernails.
"I feel like moving right now would be a criminal offense." Akira admitted.
Futaba sighed and rested her head against his shoulder.
"You know, if you were to go back in time and tell me that I would be sitting in my room, playing video games with my boyfriend and one of my best friends while cuddling and eating potato chips, I would have called you a jerk for getting my hopes up like that."
Her eyes focused on something across the room, an invisible horizon that only she could see. Akira winced as he imagined what it was, she was seeing. A busy intersection she still avoided to this day, perhaps a pyramid? It was impossible to know for sure. Without even looking at him, she spoke, her voice sounding as hollow as it was when it came from her shadow.
"I don't deserve this." She muttered, pulling her hand away from Morgana and shutting her eyes tightly, tears starting to flow even as she tried to stop them by shaking her head.
"I don't deserve any of this."
Akira slowly put his arms around his girlfriend pulling her into a tight embrace.
"It's not about deserving, you earned this." He told her. "You may forget it from time to time, but I'll always be here to remind you if you do. Till the day I die."
That managed to muster a chuckle from Futaba.
"You sure you wanna be stuck with me that long?
"I wanna be with you forever Taba."
"Forever is a long time Akira."
"Yeah that's kinda what I'm counting on." He admitted.
Futaba nuzzled her face into her boyfriend's neck.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
They stayed like that for a few minutes before parting, their eyes turning to the still sleeping Morgana.
"Well I was going to invite you to shower with me but I'm not waking Mona up." Futaba huffed.
"He's too cute like this."
"Maybe we take a 30-minute power nap and then head out? Shower when we get back?" Akira offered.
"Good plan Joker." She replied with a sly smile before turning to Mona and pulling him into her arms. "Now how are we going to do this?"
"I know, lay down next to me." Akira told her, rearranging pillows and blankets as she scooted into position. Akira put his arm around her as she laid down, the two them pulling Morgana on top of the two of them, with the both of them wrapping an arm around Mona to keep him close by as Futaba nuzzled her head up against her boyfriend's, eyes fluttering shut within minutes and Akira following suit not long after.
"Taba?" He asked, eyes still closed.
"Hm?"
"Color?" He asked turning towards her before she gave him a kiss.
"Green." She replied sleepily before falling silent.