Closure 10
Slowly, the City of San Francisco emerged from the rubble of the Vengeance's wrath as the months passed and healing and rebuilding proceeded. Jamie and her crew were busier than ever preparing for the five year mission: Finalizing the Crew list (Jamie), Packing and re-packing their allotted amount, making arrangements for storage, visiting family, and tying up loose ends.
Jamie visited the cemetery quite often over the summer, but as the departure date drew near, she began to make a last circuit of the places she and Chris had made memories in.
Sometimes, she took a friend, sometimes she went alone, but she was working steadily down the checklist.
She sat on the park bench for a while, went back to the restaurant where they had their first date, even flew to the ranch and talked to Ally on the patio in the exact spot she'd stood while reciting her vows. The younger Pike had decided to take charge of the ranch for the time being, quiet and solitude being her way of coping.
"I can feel him here," she admitted as they watched the glorious sunset together. "This is his favorite place and I feel close to him just standing here."
Jamie understood. She'd sensed it too: from the horses in the stables to the well-worn boots still sitting by the door.
As she was getting ready to leave, Ally disappeared into the master bedroom and emerged with a garment bag.
"I believe this belongs to you, Jam-up."
She handed her the garment bag containing the pale blue gown she'd been married in. Jamie accepted it with a lump in the throat, not sure if she should hang on to, or if it would be better to donate to someone who could wear it again.
"Thanks," she said softly. "You're the best, Ally. You could have been so weirded out by all this and having a super young, bratty, sister-in-law, but you weren't. We took a lot of flack, but you accepted the situation with a lot of grace."
"I was pretty flabbergasted, but I knew how particular my brother is and man, it was great to see you sassing him to the next quadrant and back. You could smell the chemistry from a mile away. Even Admirals get tired of being deferred to all the time, especially when they're off duty and just trying to be regular people. How could I be creeped out by my brother being happy?"
With a few tears and promises to keep in touch, they said goodbye and Jamie headed back to the city. She had an appointment with the hairdresser and then was headed to Spock and Uhura's for a quiet pre mission gathering with the bridge crew.
She found herself rather nervous when she stood on the threshold. Who knew if they'd recognize her in her new look? She'd gone for something radically different.
Uhura opened the door and stared for a second before breaking into an astonished grin.
"Jamie! Is this what you were doing earlier? It looks fantastic! Wow." She slowly circled around Jamie to get a good look. "The Pixie style really looks great on you."
"You like it?" Jamie asked, with relief.
"Oh, yes. Now we've got to show the others. They're all here."
The captain was quickly shown into the living room, where Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, Carol, and Bones were lounging and talking.
"Sorry I'm late guys!" She said brightly. "Did I miss any shenanigans?"
The conversations stopped and there was a moment of silence as they processed her new, very short haircut.
"Captain?
"Oh, my!"
"Very bonny, lass!"
"That's quite a style change, but I like it."
"You look amazing!"
And Everyone started talking at once. Bones looked a little shell shocked, but it was mostly from surprise (she hoped). Carol hugged her and said it was very flattering.
"What brought this on?" Her quiet friend asked, hazel eyes looking like he wasn't sure if it was her or a stranger.
"I felt it was time," she said determinedly, "I'm about to start a brand new chapter of my life and I thought a redo was in order. It'll be easier to take care of out in space, too."
There were understanding looks and gentle hugs from those who picked up on the hidden meaning. She was beginning the moving on process and it felt symbolic to start fresh.
After they'd eaten and talked about plans for a few minutes, Jamie decided to share some more personal memories. Maybe it was the wine (Spock had great taste), maybe she was being sentimental, but she felt like one last Chris story was in order: specifically, the proposal story that happened under very awkward circumstances.
She wasn't sure how it got out, both of them being extremely careful to keep their personal relationship quiet, but not long after returning from another test run of the Enterprise, she found herself getting brought before the board being asked probing questions about the nature of her relationship with the Admiral. She wondered if this was Komack taking out his private vendetta against her because he grilled her a lot harder than the others did.
She'd never wanted to punch a superior officer so hard as when he asked if she believed her and Chris's supposedly sexual relationship had something to do with her getting the Enterprise.
The audacity of the question clearly shocked the other Admirals, even. She managed to coolly answer everything he threw at her, but her humiliation was complete and she fled to Spock and Uhura's place in a miserable state. It was all out now, and gossip would soon be flying. Chris probably would tell her they had to break up and she'd be right back at square one. Who knows what they'd threaten him with?
Nyota offered her comfort and a listening ear and Spock assured her that he had seen no reason or proof that they'd behaved in an unprofessional manner and Komack did not have the authority to punish her without the majority of the board's consent.
Bones had called and warned her to stay away from her place for a while as reporters were swarming it, waiting to pounce.
Jamie went silent at this final straw and Spock had to finish the conversation with a worried Bones, confirming that he and Nyota would keep the unwanted guests away from their captain.
She holed herself up in the guest room with tea and tissues and waited for the worst.
A gentle knock sounded at the door while she was imagining what she'd do when she was kicked out in disgrace and a low voice asked to come in.
Recognizing Chris immediately, she swallowed hard and said "Come In" as confidently as she could.
He looked tired and frustrated, but also worried for her.
"They finish raking you over the coals?" She asked.
"Yes," he sighed. "It was obvious the whole thing was a farce. All the evidence they supposedly had didn't do one thing to support their claim. Archer didn't take long to throw it out. How did you do with Komack?"
She clenched her teeth, anger at the insulting questions returning at the mere mention of that jerk.
"He assumed our relationship had taken the next step so to speak...," she said, face reddening, "and asked if it influenced my grades or promotion. Made me sound like a complete whore."
Chris's face turned dark. "To think I once respected that man," he muttered with a steely glare. "If he's not careful, he'll end up in front of the board eventually. Good thing I wasn't there, or they'd really have something to talk about."
"Like your deadly uppercut smashing his face?" Jamie put in mischievously.
"Possibly," he shrugged, looking more relaxed, but she could still see the angry glint in his eye.
Swallowing, she asked the burning question, eyes straying toward the floor.
"Will we have to break up? They'll be watching us like a hawk from now on and I'm not sure I'm worth the trouble."
It came out in almost a whisper.
"Get over here," Chris ordered gently, indicating the spot beside him on the end of the bed. She slowly unfurled from her curled up position on the easy chair and moved to sit beside him, quickly pulled close by a grey clad arm.
"Jamie, if you think I'm giving up on us because of a petty witch hunt, you're very sorely mistaken, honey. Don't start with the I'm-not-worth-it mentality, because that's complete BS and you know it-you precious, crazy, beautiful woman, you."
He kissed the top of her head and she gave an approving hum, turning a little pink at the endearments.
"That's it," she mumbled against him. "I'm totally marrying you.
"Careful, sweetheart, I might take you up on that," Chris said lightly, but there was a serious undertone that made Jamie's heart flutter.
"I want you to." She whispered back, as she realized that powerful truth.
He stared at her, then gave one of those heart-melting smiles few people ever got to see and kissed her sweetly.
"Well then," he said when they came up for air, "consider yourself engaged, Ms. Kirk."
She beamed a sunshine smile that promptly earned her another kiss.
Captain Jamie Tabitha Kirk emerged from the turbolift to Chekov's enthusiastic declaration "Keptain on the bridge!"
Jamie couldn't hold back the satisfied smile as she took her place in the Captain's chair on the Enterprise. She'd fought long and hard for this, come through death, pain, and loss, and in some ways was a very different person from the defiant young woman last year who hadn't fully understood the responsibilities of her position. She certainly respected the chair now, and hoped she'd do honor to the memory of her ship's original captain, who would always hold a large place in her heart.
As they eased out of spacedock, Bones came up behind her and grumbled "Five years in space, God help me."
"Aww, come on, Bones, it'll be fun," she encouraged him.
"Ha!" He snorted, with his usual scowl.
"You grump. Spock, are we ready to go?"
"Yes, Captain," her first officer answered promptly.
"All right then. Sulu, take her out."
"Aye, Captain."
She grinned as the ship leaped into Warp and felt the thrill of the stars surge through her veins.
"Up I go, into the wild black yonder!" She thought, twisting the words to an old melody running through her mind that seemed appropriate. "I wish you were here, too, Chris, but somehow, I think you always will be."
An echo of an old conversation sprang to her thoughts then and she heard the "Go get em, honey" as clearly as the day he'd spoken it.