Author's Note: I didn't think this would work as I hoped it would. This is the Interlude chapter before the story continues to the next phase (and you thought it was almost over!) This chapter, as you will see, is written in email and IM format... which FF will not let me keep my original email addresses. Well, I hope you enjoy anyway!
An Interlude
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:March 23 at 2:34 a.m.
Dear Kristy,
It's been a while since you have last heard from me. I thought it was best that we both took some time apart. I think we both needed some space from the whole situation.
As you know, I pled guilty at the court hearing. I thought that was the best course of action for the both of us. I knew by pleading guilty, I would get the help I needed in order to become a better man, to become the type of man you deserve.
I will admit my guilt. I will admit the fact that I hurt you. I know I did terrible things to you. I know I was a monster. I have admitted all those things. I am truly sorry for what I have done to you.
The counselling I was enrolled in lasted sixteen weeks. I spent each one of those weeks focusing on how important you are to me. Kristy, you are my life. You are my everything. I need you in my life.
I want to make amends. I want to show you I can be that someone you always dreamed of me being, that someone you always knew I could be. I beg you; please give me another chance to be in your life. Allow me to prove to you that we were meant to be.
I am debating between staying in Stoneybrook or moving out of town. Please reply to this email if you are interested in something. Even if you just want to be friends, anything. I wouldn't want to lose my best friend.
With my undying love,
Cary
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:March 24 at 11:00 p.m.
Dear Kristy,
I am sorry for emailing you again so soon. Maybe I ought to give you more time to think this over. I know that dealing with our situation must be difficult. I can't imagine what it was like for you. I know I had a hard time dealing with it.
I saw you at the court house with Alan Gray. Dawn told me that he has really stepped up and became your friend during this time. I'm glad to hear that. I know Alan can be really goofy and irresponsible, but he is solid as a friend. I know he will never let you down or hurt you. He will be your ear when I can't be.
Dawn has been my ear lately. It's strange because I never thought I would become close friends with Dawn. I know you are worried about Dawn. She's doing okay. We had a good talk the other day about destructive behaviour. She seems to understand that her sleeping around is destructive. She promised me that she is going to try to stop it. I am urging her to get counselling, but one step at a time.
I know she misses your friendship. She says she would really like to repair her friends, especially with you and Mary Anne. She has told me that once she finishes high school, she'd like to return to California for a bit. She misses her friendship with Sunny too. I am trying to convince her to email you.
I know you are a forgiving person. I know that no matter what happens, you would never turn your back on a friend. Anyone who is in your life is lucky to be there.
I hope that I can count myself as one of those people one day. I hope to hear from you soon.
Yours forever,
Cary
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:March 26 at 9:59 p.m.
Hey Kris,
Just wondering if you are getting these emails. You haven't changed your email address have you? I hope you aren't ignoring these. I would understand if you were but I would really like to make amends with you.
I know you may not believe me right away, and I don't blame you, but I'm not the same man I was before. I am currently taking some anger management courses. I know that I would never hurt you again.
I hope you respond soon. I miss you.
Missing you,
Cary
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:March 27 at 1:17 a.m.
Kris,
I just wanted to let you know how much I miss you. Dawn tells me that you have gotten into university and plan to start in September. I wanted to congratulate you.
Please drop me a line. I would love to catch up.
Best Wishes,
Cary
To: Alan
From: Cary
Sent:March 27 at 1:33 a.m.
Alan,
I just wanted to thank you for taking care of Kristy during my absence. She is such a special girl and I have been worried sick about her.
I have been emailing her lately and I haven't heard a response. I want to apologize to her. Is everything okay? Or hasn't she been checking her email lately? Could you let her know that I'm waiting for a reply?
Thanks,
Cary
To: Cary
From: Alan
Sent:March 28 at 7:34 a.m.
Cary-
She got your messages. She's not interested. Stop contacting her.
A.
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:March 30 at 8:03 a.m.
Kristy,
I just received a message from Alan saying you aren't interested in talking with me. I will respect your wishes, I would just like to hear it from you.
Please understand I'm not trying to invade your life again. I just want to be friends. You are the most understanding person I have ever met. I know without you my life will be hollow. Please, can we just talk?
Love,
Cary
To: Cary
From: Kristy
Sent:March 30 at 11:48 a.m.
Cary,
Do not message, email or contact me ever again. I want you out of my life for good.
Kristy
CaryRetlin signed in March 31, 12: 13 a.m.
KristyKrusher signed in March 31, 12:45 a.m.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:45 a.m.)
Hey Kristy.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:46 a.m.)
I got your last message. I'm sorry for messaging you right now but I'm having a hard time believing you are willing to end four plus years of friendship. I'm not asking for anything more. I just want to talk to you. Catch up on your life. I understand if you don't want to return to our old status. I don't really want to either. I don't think I'm ready for it. I want to know that I can control my
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:48 a.m.)
anger before I get serious with anyone else.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:49 a.m.)
Kristy? Are you there?
KristyKrusher says: (March 31 at 12:50 a.m.)
I am here. Please, Cary, just leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:50 a.m.)
Kristy, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I don't ever want to do it again. I just want to make things right between us.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:51 a.m.)
Please forgive me. My heart broke when I realized what I did to you. I almost died when you left me. I know that I was a monster. I have admitted my guilt. I am in counselling. Please, Kristy, I just want to make things right between us.
KristyKrusher says: (March 31 at 12:55 a.m.)
Please do not message me again.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:56 a.m.)
Is it Alan? Is this the reason why you won't talk to me? Are you dating him now?
KristyKrusher signed off March 31, 12:56 a.m.
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:57 a.m.)
Kristy?
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:58 a.m.)
Kristy?
CaryRetlin says: (March 31 at 12:59 a.m.)
Kristy? I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.
CaryRetlin signed off, March 31 1:16 a.m.
To: Alan
From: Kristen Brewer
Sent:April 1 at 8:00 a.m.
Make him go away.
Also this is my new email address.
Yours,
Cool new name here.
To: Kristy
From: Cary
Sent:April 1 at 2:00 p.m.
Kristy,
I'm sorry about last night. It was out of line to ask about your relationship with Alan. It doesn't really matter if he is your boyfriend or not. That doesn't change the fact that I would like to make amends with you.
Please don't ignore me.
Thinking of you,
Cary
To: Mary Anne
From: Dawn
Sent:April 1 11:49 a.m.
Hey Mary Anne,
I haven't spoken you since Christmas. How have you been? You and Ashley still together? Mom is totally cool with that whole thing now. Richard is still in shock but I think he is warming up to the idea. He has been going on and buying all these books on being a parent of a homosexual child. Or at least that's what mom told me last month.
Have you talked with the 'rents at all? I know you left Stoneybrook on bad terms with them. So maybe you haven't heard that not only have I moved out of Chez Spier, I have dropped out of SHS. Mom is so disappointed at me and I swear I've given Richard some more grey hairs! Seriously, it was pointless for me to stay. I was just wasting my time. Everything felt so hollow and pointless and, really, life is too short for wasting away in that place!
Sometimes I just have to burst out laughing, Mary Anne. At night, when I can't sleep, I think about back when we were all at SMS and were all apart of the BSC. It's so funny how we have all gone our own ways. I always thought we would always be friends, you know? I never thought I would lose touch with Jessi or Abby! I really don't think any of us would have been able to predict where we are now. Well, we would have all guessed that Claudia would be having a hard time graduating from SHS. I think we also all knew if any of us were to be voted mostly likely to start using, Claudia would have been voted in!
I don't think anyone would have guessed that you and I would have stopped being best friends, even after I moved to California. I imagine Kristy (let's call her what she is from now on, shall we? BITCH!) told you about the rape. It's funny how my life changed after that. There were things I thought were so damn important suddenly didn't matter. Like saving the Earth. Yeah, I will still use my cloth bag over plastic but hunting anyone down who uses Styrofoam is ridiculous. It just doesn't matter anymore.
That night changed my life. I know that.
Argh. Enough with the serious stuff. I can't change the past, so why dwell, right? That's a lesson for you Mary Anne! The reason I'm writing to you (and not just because I totally miss you! Why were you such a horrid bitch to me when I was forced back here?) is because I want to give you my new address! Like you know, I moved out of mom's back in November and after moving from Claudia's to Erica's to Austin's, I have finally found a place I can call home with. I'm moving in with Cary Retlin!
Cary is so amazing! I can't imagine why that bitch would give him up! I never really saw it in him before Kristy left him. Besides the fact he is so hot he is HAWT, he is so sweet. He's caring and kind and just sigh! Plus, he's totally amazing in bed! I cannot imagine why Kristy would make up those charges against him but her loss is my gain! Anyway, my new address is 79 Brooklyn Street, Vernon, CT 06066.
Please write to me! I miss you so much, sis!
-Dawn
To: Dawn
From: Mary Anne
Sent:April 2 at 7:35 a.m.
Dawn,
I received your email and I knew I needed to immediately respond; only I really don't know how. Kristy didn't tell me anything about a rape. She only told me that you had some issues that you had to work through. I can't believe it. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream. You never told me that you were raped. Does Sunny know? You know you can always talk to me, about anything, right? Dawn, there is so much I want to say, that I want to ask, but talking via e-mail seems so impersonal. Would you consider coming up to NYC for a couple of weeks? I think it would be good for us to catch up.
As for your news about Cary, Dawn, please believe me when I saw Cary is dangerous. Kristy was also raped. By Cary. They broke up briefly but she took him back. After that he became really physically abusive. Before the rape, he was incredibly controlling and possessive of her. She pulled away from all her friends because of him. I know this to be true because I saw it happen. Please leave him now before anything happens to you. I beg you, Dawn, please.
Yours sister,
Mary Anne
PS- why are you moving to Storrs?
To: Mary Anne
From: Dawn
Sent:April 4 at 4:01 a.m.
You want me to come to NYC? Do you not remember how I was like every time I came in grade eight? I was a shaking ball of nerves! I'm going to have to be seriously loaded and stoned to appear even somewhat normal there! I have this feeling you don't want me to be anything but sober while I'm there. Seriously, MA, do you drink at all? Or have fun? Or is this bi-sexual thing the only bad girl thing you are into? Too bad you are my sister, I mean, I would give you a ride, just to test out that whole scene. I hear there is some serious money in those who are willing to go both ways in the business. Not that I'm totally willing to go that far- that is to join the business. I hear there is good money in it and I know I'm hot enough, but I guess there is a part of the old Dawn Read Schafer who can't do it. Who still believes sex is sacred. That is completely ridiculous considering everything this past year! Considering that I don't treat sex as sacred because once it's been ripped from you, it seriously loses all meaning. But doing it is on film? I'm working my way up to that.
It may be a moot point because I know Cary doesn't appreciate my habit of sleeping with random people. Speaking of, girl, you need to chill! Cary and I are sort of, well, I'm not sure what I'd call us yet. We aren't dating or girlfriend/ boyfriend or anything. We are having sex, and occasionally we go on dates, but really we are just good friends. He's been having a really hard time, losing Kristy. I know that. I know that he seriously believes that he had wronged her and that he wants to make amends. He is afraid that he has lost her completely.
I don't understand why Kristy won't talk to him. I simply cannot believe her story. Cary just wouldn't do that. I guess if you say it enough, anyone will believe you. Cary believes her lies about what a horrible man he is. You have no idea how much he beats himself up about it. He practically hates himself.
Mary Anne, you have no clue how much he loves Kristy. He would give his life for her. He would chop off a limb for her. He would bow down and kiss her feet, if she asked him to and she's just blown him off. I don't know. Maybe her and Alan were having a secret love affair. I bet that started back in Sea City. I head her and Alan moved out of Stoneybrook together. I don't know where but I know it broke Cary's heart that she has moved on. He misses her so much and she won't even give him the time of day.
I don't think you know the real story. I guess none of us do, except Cary and Kristy. I guess none of will ever know. I do know that Cary is a good man. Yes, he has some faults. He needs to learn to control his temper more and stop jumping to conclusions but who doesn't have faults? If it's true love, and they seemed like it, why couldn't they work it out? What if Cary worked on his anger? Then what? Would Kristy even give him the time of day? Is it fair to him for her just to give up? He's working on being a better man. I see it every day.
Argh, I have totally wasted too much time analyzing this stupid situation. If Kristy is going to continue to be Queen Bitch, then whatever. I'm totally working on making Cary Retlin forget her. ;)
Why don't you give me a call one day? We can catch up that way. But seriously, we don't need to catch up on that whole grade nine event. It's in the past, remember? Sure, it's changed me. It made me more aware. I know what guys want. I know what they will do to get it. Might as well as admit the truth and move on with it, right?
Dawn
To: Dawn
From: Mary Anne
Sent:April 4 at 6:55 a.m.
Not all guys want to take advantage of you, Dawn. There are some really great guys out there. Just like there are some really bad ones too.
I'm really worried about you, Dawn. I think you are making some really bad choices. Please come up to NYC for a little while. I promise you it won't be boring! Ashley loves to go out to parties. She always knows where the best ones are. We'll have fun and we'll talk. We haven't seriously talked in a long time.
I think we do need to discuss the grade nine event, as you called it. We need to discuss your relationship with Cary. If he is still so into Kristy, why are you wasting your energy on him? You can do better and I don't mean some random person you picked up. Dawn, you are a beautiful girl. You could find someone to treat you right. Just because he's there doesn't mean he's Mr. Right. Come up and I'll tell you all about my relationship with Stacey McGill. I learnt my lesson about the difference between Mr/ Ms. Right and Right Now.
I promise you won't need be stoned out of your mind to relax.
Call me sometime and we'll talk about this further.
-Mary Anne
To: Mary Anne
From: Kristen Brewer
Sent:April 25 at 5:45 p.m.
I'm all moved in now. I think I already sent you my new address and phone number. I can't believe I'm dong this! I'm so excited to be attending UConn! I'm using way too many exclamation points in this email but I'm so excited.
Alan moved here early this month, as you know. I wanted some extra time with my family before moving here. It was nice to spend time, one on one, with Karen and my other siblings. Even though I know that Karen is going to grow up to be a spoiled brat.
There were also some things that I needed to take care of in Stoneybrook, such as legally changing my name to Brewer. I know Watson was so happy that I wanted to take his last name, despite the reason. Yeah, I know you think my reason was faulty, doing it to try to hide myself from Cary but I still feel freer. I feel safer. I needed that. I needed to do some things in my life to make sure I was strong enough to make this move. Like my little makeover. I cut my hair. I'll send you a picture when I unpack my camera. It's a cute chin length bob. Sort of like yours, but longer. It feels nice to have air on the back of my neck.
I know a makeover seems so silly, but it's empowering. I can do these things without worrying about how Cary, how anyone, will react. I feel stronger. I feel more like me. I don't feel as if I could be run over as easily. I am Kristy Thomas again! Or, as my school records now say, Kristen Brewer.
I am really happy today. I'm not feeling nervous or thinking about Cary much. Honestly. I know those emails from him last month really disturbed me but I know it's okay now. He can't haunt me here. I'm starting a new life. I'm going to get my Bachelor of Education. It feels like I have a new lease on life.
I know that Alan feels the same way. He felt so trapped in Stoneybrook. He may not be attending the university with me, but he's ready for a new start. He has a job at an advertising company and trying to do some stand-up at the open mikes around town.
I know we were only apart for a month, but I'm really glad that he's doing this with me. I know a lot of people think we are romantically involved or something, but he's just a really good friend. Maybe one day we'll progress to something more, but I'm not ready for another relationship and he doesn't want one either. We are good as we are.
How goes your summer in NYC? You mentioned before that Ashley may return to Vermont to be with her family for the rest of the summer. How is that going? I know it's a bit rocky at times, but whenever I went up there, you two seemed really solid.
Anyway, Alan has just put in Juno in the DVD player and he's waiting for me.
Talk to you soon!
Kristy
To: Kristen Brewer
From: Mary Anne
Sent: April 26 at 9:34 p.m.
Kristy… I have been speaking with Dawn again. I can't believe her sometimes. You know how I told you that's she's living with Cary now? Well, they have moved to Storrs. I thought it might be a different Storrs in the country, but she just confirmed that she is like 15 minutes away from the UConn. I have no idea why he- they- moved there but they are. I don't think anything will happen but be careful, okay?
Love,
Mary Anne