Hello my awesome readers,

Here's another chapter for you!

Thank you for the favorites and the follows, I really appreciate the support.

And I want to make sure I thank: the amazing Indigene Syke, I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and you are so wonderful for saying so :); and the awesome carajiggirl, I'm glad that you're enjoying the interactions and the pace of the story, that's always something I toy around with a lot so I'm glad it works for you. I hope you enjoy this chapter too and I'm so glad you loved Captain Marvel! I can't wait until April! I also totally had not thought of that with Carol and Natasha, that would be amazing! Thank you bringing that wonderful idea up and for reading my story!

Here's the next chapter.

Enjoy!

It's difficult to feel alone in a room full of people who care deeply about you but as Peter looked around at the Avengers gathered close, he realized none of them knew what had happened. It was more than that though. Peter knew that he could tell any of them. That they would listen, sympathize, and then do what they could to remedy the situation, which in this case would probably mean beating the shit out of someone. But it would also mean that he had to bother someone else with more of his issues. Issues he desperately wanted to talk to Tony about before he brought it up with anyone else. He was already enough of a burden right now that he didn't want to exacerbate the problem. He knew distinctly that there were other things any one of them could be doing but they weren't, they were sitting with him. It was something he was incredibly thankful for but also something he still, after all these years, was not sure he deserved.

Unfortunately, the decision not to confide in anyone intensified Peter's loneliness. As Peter glanced to each member of the collective group, with each face, he felt like he was drifting farther away. The initial comfort and safety that had come from his extended family was not enough anymore and as his attention was drawn increasingly to the wall across from him. Even though they respected his want of silence, he knew they were throwing occasional sad glances in his direction before they would drop their eyes and look away. For a while, Peter noticed it but then he lost the ability to focus on them. It left him staring at the wall.

As the feeling of floating intensified, he also began to notice that his blood was humming under his skin. He suddenly felt like he needed to run, to swing, to punch something. The conflicting feeling left his body frozen but his mind spinning and it circled back to what had happened. He replayed memories and conjured hallucinations of what the future was supposed to have been for them, until it all blended together. The cream color of the wall was the perfect place to play the images out. And they did, without mercy. Slowly, Peter started falling farther into that place, farther into his recollections and conceptions until he was left reacting in small ways even while his body was frozen painfully rigid.

Clint had been throwing glances at Peter same as the others but when he saw him staring at the wall, he couldn't tear his eyes away. Peter was impossibly tense. His hands were sitting in his lap and he was clenching and unclenching his fists while he stared hard at the wall across from him. Clint had the distinct impression that if he had Wanda's powers, the walls from here to the operating room would crumble under his gaze. Immediately, that set off warning bells. Standing from where he was sitting next to Natasha, he carefully stepped into Peter's eye line and sat down on the edge of the bed. Peter didn't react, he just continued to stare as if a person had not appeared in front of him. Clint had seen that depth of distraction before, knew intimately the feeling of pent-up frustration and untamable energy that came with waiting to hear about someone you love. It was wrong to see the vacancy on Peter's face. Clint studied him for a moment longer before he laid his hand gently on the teenager's shoulder.

Peter violently jumped at the touch, his hands came up in front of him defensively and his knees bent into a crouch before the glazed look in his eyes cleared and he realized what was going on.

Clint immediately tugged his hand away from the now completely alert and frightened teenager, his voice high and full of guilt as he called out, "I'm sorry! It's me. Clint." He saw the moment Peter's vision solidified on the present. And he felt the tension fall away from the kid as he slowly stretched back out into a more comfortable position. Clint felt the guilt more distinctly as Peter winced painfully. Suddenly, Natasha appeared again at his side, her hand on Peter's shoulder, offering quiet strength that he seemed to need.

Once he was sitting with his back pressed into the pillow, he stared expectantly between Clint and Natasha but didn't say anything. Clint took that as his cue. But then he hesitated because he wasn't actually sure what he wanted to say. He had come over because he was worried about Peter's demeanor but bringing it up was a different story. How do you put something like that into words? Still, he knew he needed to try. Unfortunately, his efforts came out as more of a stuttered mess, "Are you…just wanted to… do you…" He let the string of starts fade away as he rethought his strategy.

Natasha seemed to pick up on what he was trying to do, her unwavering voice much smoother as she asked, "This is a bad question Peter but, other than the injuries, are you alright?"

Peter's eyes widened in surprise, that was not the question he was assumed they were going to ask. He didn't know why but he expected them to ask anything else, more questions about what happened or about what Jeff wanted. This caught him off guard and he did what he always did when someone asked him if he was alright, he answered in the positive, "I'm good, just waiting." His voice sounded weird to his ears, it had the conviction of wet cardboard but he only unconsciously knew why.

"Peter, there is no way that's true." Natasha's voice was kind but firm as she gave him a soft smile, trying to urge him to talk more on his own. When she realized the reaction she wanted was not what she was going to get, fear welled up in her chest, Peter was never quiet. Tony used to complain about it, so did Steve and Sam. Hell, even she had said something once or twice on a mission but now she would do anything for his happy chatter. She felt the smile slip as Clint filled in the silence.

Thankfully, the intervention was enough to give Clint a chance to recover, "What she's saying is that you don't have to pretend everything is okay because we know its not." Clint carefully leaned forward onto his knees, "I know what its like to have to sit and wait for news. To have to be patient and still when all you want to do is sprint forward, to help, to move." He glanced over at Natasha briefly before he continued, "You are allowed to be upset. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to be afraid. But you of all people are not allowed to feel guilty…" Clint was going to continue but Peter's eyes shot up to meet his and the intense look of anger plastered on his face killed the rest of what Clint was going to say.

Peter listened as Clint said what he felt he had to say but resolved not to acknowledge how accurate, but useless, most of it was. He was right about wanting to move, Peter wanted to be anywhere else so he could feel like he wasn't jumping out of his skin. He was right about the anger and the fear but all of it was just meant to make a screwed up situation a modicum better. To make him feel better. And he didn't deserve that. Peter resolved to ignore everything, but then Clint said he wasn't allowed to feel guilty and Peter violently reacted to that sentiment. He could take or leave everything else Clint had said but he involuntarily snapped his vision to Clint as soon as he said it. Peter could tell his anger showed on his face because Clint stopped talking as soon as he made eye contact. Peter pushed forward, his voice echoed his anger and guilt as he snapped, "It is my fault." He watched Clint's eyes widen in shock and he leaned back a bit as Peter continued his tirade, "It's completely my fault. I could have stopped it. But I didn't. I let that happen, I let him get hurt. He almost died because of me." The statement was born from a place of fury and terrible self-loathing but it was undercut by a nearly palpable terror.

Clint was caught off guard when Peter started but he recognized the sound of misplaced fault in his voice so he pushed back, his earnestness a contrast to Peter's guilt, "You didn't do anything wrong, I know that you want to feel like its your fault but I know Tony, he made that choice. The men who did this are the only ones who are to blame." He leaned forward again, imploring Peter to understand.

But Peter was not ready to let it go, so he pressed, his voice betraying him. He snarled, "They wanted to know who Spider-Man was, he gave them everything else they wanted. That was all that was left and my dad wouldn't tell them. He was scared about what they would do to me and so he wouldn't tell them. I knew what they wanted and I still just sat there. I could have ended all of it but I didn't. I made that choice, not him. I'm a coward and my dad is paying for it." Peter spat, his own guilt slowly crushing him as he realized that snapping at Clint and Natasha was not doing anything to make him feel better.

Natasha jumped into the conversation there, she could not tolerate Peter thinking he had somehow had anything to do with this. Instinctively, she understood the outcome of their acquisition of Spider-Man's identity and she sold that as fact, her voice resolute, "Peter, they would have killed you." She paused, giving him a chance to accept that before continuing, "If you had told them, we would have brought you back in a body bag. Do you know what that would have done to Tony?" She looked him in the eyes and held his angry gaze but she could also see the doubt building under the swirling ire, "Your dad did what he had to, to protect you because he knows distinctly what losing you is like." She paused, forcing Peter to meet her eyes before she pushed home her point, "He's done that once before and I can guarantee you without any doubt in my mind that he would give everything he has to keep it from happening again." She watched as Peter's eyes widened in shock, the anger and the guilt losing their fight to an intense sadness as a few tears escaped from the corners. Her voice softened before she continued, "There are pains worse than physical injuries. Horrible gut-wrenching agony that can never be healed. Your dad was protecting you but, whether he knew it or not, he was also protecting himself. It was the same reason that you didn't give them your name, you were protecting him."

The conversation fell there as each contemplated what was just vocalized. Peter hated the truth in her words and while it didn't alleviate the guilt that was still weighing on his soul, it did make him feel better. A bit better. He wouldn't truly be alright until Tony was out of the woods but still, a little weight had been lifted.

Natasha watched the teenager as he processed what she had said and she hoped that at least some of it had gotten through. She could see the deep bruises under Peter's eyes that were too dark to be from the brutal treatment he had gotten which pointed to lack of sleep. She knew he needed to rest if he was going to heal but she also knew that some of what she had said applied to him too. Peter was protecting himself by staying awake because it meant that he wouldn't have to face his nightmares alone. She was struck by the thought that Tony and Peter might become a bit more inseparable than they already were, at least for a time.

Clint was looking between Natasha and Peter and he couldn't help but be impressed by her ability to pinpoint exactly the problem at hand. He had wanted to offer help but it had ended as a team effort. But he looked at Natasha he could still read the concern in her expression and body language. Something else was bothering her. He looked back at Peter and realized what it was, or at least he had a guess. He had been focused on Peter's twitching and rigidness, Natasha was concerned about the fact that he wasn't sleeping. Playing off of that realization, he tried to redirect the conversation. He leaned forward slightly as he pulled the teenager's attention back to the present, "Peter, your dad is going to survive, he's going to heal and that's because of you. You pulled him out of that room and you ensured he would get home." He paused once more as he worked out the best way to frame his request. Clint kept his voice soft as he said, "He's with people who can help him and now it's time for you to think about yourself. You need to try and get some sleep because you're going to hurt yourself if you keep going like this."

Immediately, the vulnerability he had been feeling after Natasha had started speaking hardened and Peter's eyes narrowed at the suggestion. He immediately shook his head and poured all the conviction and honesty he could into his answer, "I don't want to." He wasn't sure why he was telling them this. Maybe it was because they were being kind and Peter desperately wanted to confide in Tony but knew he wouldn't be able to until the man woke up. Maybe it was because he was exhausted and they were the first ones to call him on his lie. Maybe it was just because it felt like the truth was strangling him and this was the only way to make it stop.

Natasha's voice was soft as she leaned forward, mimicking Clint, and asked, "Why's that?"

Peter glanced up at her, studying her shrewdly and then glancing over at Clint before he chose to answer in a whisper, "I'm afraid this is a dream."

Natasha froze at that, she had not considered that but at the same time, she understood it completely.

Clint's eyes skittered away for a moment as he processed that statement. When he finally understood as much of the implication as he could, he replied, "You think you're going to wake up and be back where they were keeping you?"

Peter nodded hesitantly before he continued, "Yah and if I do, I'm going to have to watch them hurt him again. It will mean I failed."

Clint felt Natasha sit up a bit higher and before he could continued, she interjected.

Natasha had heard what he had said before, that he just sat there but it didn't completely register until she heard him say that too. The horror was clear in her tone when she asked, "You saw them hurt Tony? I thought you were kept somewhere else for most of the time?" Natasha finally figured out the reason why Peter had been so badly affected, it wasn't because he had been alone, it was because he had seen the whole thing. The thought made her almost physically sick and so when he nodded, she couldn't keep the anger and sadness at bay as she cursed.

For the first time since they had found them, Peter felt tears start to fall and he sucked his bottom lip under his teeth to try and hold them back as he nodded. He heard Clint curse under his breath. Natasha spat something in Russian. Peter hated this so much, it was a painfully slow revelation but he couldn't find the strength to speed it up.

"Peter…" Clint whispered his name in a palpably sad tone before he laid his hand back on Peter's shoulder. He looked Peter in the eyes before he continued, "I promise you, this is not a dream. You are not going to wake up and be back there. This is real." He frowned as only some of that seemed to get through to the teenager. He tried a different angle, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No…" Peter choked out. He was not ready to talk to anyone. He didn't want them to know how badly he had failed. They were trying to make him feel better and he didn't want them to know how much of a coward he really was when he wasn't hiding behind his suit.

"It's okay," Clint added quickly, leaning back a bit to give Peter a little more room, "you don't have to but you really should try to get some sleep."

Peter slumped again into the pillows behind him, he was so exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to sleep but as soon as that thought even came to mind, he shook himself awake. It worked for a moment but it really just left him more drained than before and he realized he didn't want to talk anymore, he just wanted someone who would understand without questions. Looking up at the two, he croaked out, "Is my aunt here?"

Natasha answered with a level of sadness, "She's on her way. Happy went to get her so she should be here soon."

Peter nodded carefully, the intense feeling of overwhelming loneliness slamming into him again as he sniffled but didn't cry. Then he asked quietly, "Is Ms. Potts here?"

As if his comment was enough to bring her into being, the door opened sharply and Pepper stepped inside, her hurried voice was desperately urgent as she demanded, "Peter." Peter could see her searching the faces of the other Avengers before her eyes locked on his. Her gaze softened as she carefully maneuvered her belly around the gathered Avengers and stepped over to the bed.

"Ms. Potts." He answered quietly, thankful that at least someone wouldn't ask him questions. He appreciated the interest and care the others were showing but right now he didn't have the energy to fight anything anymore, he needed uninterested love.

She didn't ask permission as she sat down at Peter's side. "Oh, sweetie," she cooed, balancing a little more awkwardly than she normally would because of her swollen belly. She immediately threw her arm around him and Peter let her pull him in, resting his head on her shoulder and feeling both incredible relief and crushing guilt at the embrace. Unfortunately, the guilt won out as he turned his head toward her shoulder, "I'm sorry, Ms. Potts. I swear I tried."

Pepper immediately was ready with an answer, "Peter, honey, please stop." She leaned back just a bit to look down at him, careful not to shift him too much, conviction clear in her declaration, "I do not for a moment doubt that you did everything you could to help Tony. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay, I promise." She tugged the teenager she had come to love as her own more fully into her arms and started rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

Regardless of how wrong he knew she was, Peter still felt some of the pessimism melt away as she comforted him. He was able to focus his spinning mind as he heard the even beat of her heart and the ease of her breaths. That regularity helped calm him down. He even managed to force himself to close his eyes and relax a bit. A few minutes after he finally settled close, he felt the baby kick, the motion causing a slight twinge of pain in his ribs where he was curled against Pepper. But for the first time, it was a welcome pain and he couldn't help but smile, "Morgan is kicking a lot today."

"Yah," she smiled, laying her free hand on her belly, "he reacts like his father when crazy things are happening, always wanting to move."

"We'll have to make sure we give him a good made-up name then." Peter said, smiling a little more into her shoulder when he realized something, "Wait, 'he'?"

Pepper couldn't help but smile, thankful for the soon-to-be older brother in her arms, "I found out a couple of days ago. I couldn't wait anymore and I've been waiting to tell my two favorite boys." She tucked his head under her chin and hugged him tightly, partially because he needed it and partially so he wouldn't see her smile falter and her eyes water.

Clint and Natasha shared a glance at the incredibly quick change in Peter's behavior. Some of the spark was back. Both started to stand as Peter's attention was solely focused on the significantly more positive interaction he was having with Pepper.

But Pepper was Tony's balance in intuition and she had questioned the presence of both spies sitting at the foot of Peter's bed as soon as she stepped in. Glancing up at them as they started to move, she gently shook her head. The two got her meaning and sat back down. Pepper held Peter close for a little longer, whispering to him softly and giving him a chance to relax farther until she pulled Natasha and Clint back into the conversation, her voice was soft and honest, even if it had ulterior motives, "Thank you for rescuing them."

"Of course, Pepper." Clint and Natasha echoed together. Natasha took the opening she gave them, feeling a little sick at the manipulation but knowing that it was necessary for Peter she said, "We were just trying to encourage Peter to get some sleep. Maybe you'll have a little more luck."

"Is that true, sweetheart?" Pepper asked the teenager curled into her side.

Peter just nodded into her shoulder, unwilling to vocalize lie to Pepper, no matter how small.

Pepper felt the hesitation and knew she needed to push a little more. Her voice was soft when she asked, "Do you want to talk about whatever is keeping you awake?"

Peter desperately did not want to tell Pepper what had happened, didn't want her to know what he had let happen to the father of her child. But at the same time, he was frantic to do anything to keep her next to him so he resolved to answer. Decision made to keep her close, he mumbled into her shoulder, "I'm afraid this is a dream."

Pepper felt guilty as she heard the truth torn from him but she stayed quiet and let him continue.

Peter kept going, it still wasn't the whole story but it was something, "If I go to sleep, I'm afraid that when I wake up, we'll be back in the room and they'll hurt him." He glanced up at Pepper with tears in his eyes, "I don't want that to happen again."

Pepper's heart broke at the naked honesty in his eyes and she could help herself as she responded instinctually, "Oh, honey. What can I do?" As soon as she asked the question, she saw momentary relief in his eyes and she realized she was done letting anyone ask him any more questions, a fierce protectiveness rising in her chest.

That was the first time anyone had asked him that but he didn't have an answer. As he thought for a minute, he realized that the physical presence was what he needed, "Stay here, please?"

"Of course. I'll stay right here." She waited for Peter to scoot over slightly in the bed before she kicked her feet more fully onto the mattress and gave Peter a chance to curl completely into her side. She glanced up at Natasha and Clint again before pressing a kiss onto his forehead and resting her cheek on his hair. She whispered confidently to the two, "No more questions right now." When they both nodded, stood, and stepped away, Pepper let her shoulders fall a bit and relaxed into the pillows. Resolving to sit still until Peter woke up.

Peter still was afraid to fall asleep but something about the current reality of the situation was so distinctly different that he was having a hard time imagining he was able to dream this vividly. He glanced around at the other Avengers currently clustered in his room, felt Pepper hugging him tightly, and he finally felt himself starting to relax. He closed his eyes and after enough time, he started to dose.

When they finally found out that Tony was out of surgery, Peter had finally fallen asleep against Pepper's shoulder. The rest of the Avengers were sitting as a bulwark in front of the door. It was unnecessary but the instinct to protect was stronger for them than most and they could not help but shield the two.

That was how Dr. Fry found them as she pressed the door open. As she flicked her eyes up from her files, she saw the intense collective gaze of five Avengers and Pepper Potts. It had been unnerving the first few times it happened but now it was old hat. She glanced over the seated heads of Natasha and Clint to see that Peter was finally asleep against Pepper's shoulder. Stepping confidently to address the group, Dr. Fry started with a quiet voice as she tried to keep from waking Peter. She loudly whispered, "Tony will heal. The damage was extensive but whoever did this seemed to know what they were doing and were determined to keep him alive." She scrunched her nose at the abrupt description, "I apologize for the crudeness of that statement but it is the reality. We repaired the worst of the damage but because of the treatment, he suffered a pleural effusion in both lungs. We've drained the liquid away but he'll need to be monitored for at least a week and a half before we're willing to let him leave the wing." As she spoke, she glanced at each of the Avengers, trying to gauge their reactions. The overriding expressions were sickness and anger but no one spoke.

Eventually, Steve's voice cut through the silence of the room as he spoke with authority, "Thank you, Dr. Fry."

She dipped her head in response but when no one else said anything or asked any questions, she turned and left the family to deal with its wounds and figure out how to move forward.

Silence descended on the room again until eventually a sharp sniffle cut through the individual contemplations. As one, every eye looked to Pepper. She had tears dripping down her cheeks as she agitatedly pulled Peter closer. Her normally blue eyes were rimmed with red and her voice was quiet but demanding, "I need you to tell me exactly what you know about what happened to them."

This time Steve, with help from Natasha and Clint, repeated the story to the best of their knowledge. By the time he finished, Pepper's tears had stopped and she looked much more determined. An inclination that came through in her tone, "They're here. You have the people who did this here?"

Steve nodded carefully, unsure of where she was going with this.

Her voice was hard as she asked her next question, "And you have proof, evidence, communications, something to tie them to what they did?"

Steve nodded again.

"When he," she nodded down at Peter, "wakes up, I'm calling our lawyers. We're going to deal with them." She looked between everyone that was gathered and made sure to meet their eyes. She understood what they wanted to do but she also needed to make sure she protected them and ensured these men would never get close to Tony or Peter again. And more than anything else, she wanted them out of her home. She felt sick thinking those men were in the basement of the Compound, even if that's what that area was for.

There was a collective nod as Pepper issued her order. But then Natasha spoke up, imploring, "Pepper, please don't do that." She leaned forward onto her knees as she said it but recoiled almost immediately when Pepper shot her a venomous look. Still, she didn't sit back, she held her ground before explaining, "Let us talk to them first. If we turn them over, we could potentially lose access to them and we need to ask our own questions before that happens. They held Tony and Peter and managed to hinder almost all our attempts to find them, we need to know where their information came from and who, if anyone, they're working for. I appreciate your anger, trust me, but we need to keep them here a little longer. We need to keep them here until we've worked through everything." Natasha entreated Pepper to listen.

Pepper listened quietly and patiently to her reasoning, weighing the options for a moment before she spoke, "Fine. But once you're done, we're turning them over, I want them gone."

Natasha nodded and sat back in her chair, that she could deal with.

Steve vocalized the agreement, "Done."

There you have it! I couldn't leave Tony out of the story for too long and I wanted to make sure that the others were aware of the problems Peter was having even if they don't know the full extent. I've noticed that its harder to get stories out of some people than others and I think Peter would be more reluctant to share than most.

Also, did you see the Endgame trailer because its amazing and makes me wish it was April!

As always, if you want, feel free to let me know what you think in the reviews, they're always wonderful to read!

I hope you all have a wonderful night/day and stay creative!

-Lily