Chapter 10: Escape

I will be submitting a future-take from 'I Hunger' for the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma, featuring Carlisle visiting Edward's coven in the Amazon. Please support this excellent cause. The compilation will be available in September.

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I'm putting up a picture album for this story on my Facebook. Sadly, there are no manips yet of the infamous photographs. Anybody want to take a crack at it?

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Monday, July 18th, 2005, 1:20 am:

The Cullen House:

Bella's pov:

The photograph was mortifying. Why did vampire reflexes have to be so good? I mean, I fell over, right? And Edward stopped me from falling, although I caught myself on my hands. And Alice managed to snap the photo at the exact moment that made it look like we were Doing It doggy-style. Oh. My. Edward.

The worst part was, I had to admit that the picture was really, really hawt. It put ideas in my head. Like I didn't have enough ideas already! If my mate knew what a dirty mind I was developing, he would be shocked out of his Victorian gourd. Holy crow. Murdering my best girlfriend for corrupting my mind would be totally justifiable, right?

Although I looked a little apprehensive in it, my expression would look like desire to the average Joe. And I was wearing a dress with less than a yard of fabric in it. Even better, my boobs were practically hanging out. And Edward, looking protective, was definitely smouldering. Well, okay, my eyes were smouldering, too. I dare anyone not to get turned on by Edward in a black Armani Suit. He looks edible enough to begin with, and feeling his lithe muscle through dress clothes? Swoon.

Yeah, he complained a lot about the poses Alice had put us in. He claimed there were no less than seven sexual positions involved, and the pictures would come to haunt us. And I, being an idiot, had made light of his worry. Why? He worries way too much. So sometimes, I don't take him as seriously as I should, especially on moral issues. I want him to get with the Twenty-First Century, right?

This time, he was right, I was wrong, and I was not looking forward to admitting it. I had to concede that it might be a good idea to start validating Edward's concerns more. Under certain circumstances, like this one. Because my father was about to see the picture, and in the morning, every letch living anywhere near the Olympic Peninsula was going to be ogling us. Like we didn't have enough to worry about!

After trying for eighteen months to train him out of over-thinking everything, I was in serious danger of falling into the same trap. Could OCD be contagious? Well, most vampires have an OCD, so I might as well try to get one that matched his. Wouldn't that drive his family crazy!

That would be freaking awesome.

Edward dropped the picture like it was a burning coal, slung me onto his back, and leapt nimbly out the kitchen window and down the tree. Alice was leaning casually against the house, holding out one of my bras in one hand and a t-shirt for Edward in the other.

"Gah!" I yelled in shock. Edward shushed me and gave me a consoling pat as he put me down. I was not consoled.

I snatched the bra. "So where's my underwear? You couldn't have brought that, too?"

"I don't think so, girlfriend. You can make do with Edward's for now. You won't be needing underwear this week," she smirked.

"Alice," Edward snarled, pulling his t-shirt down over his head, and glowered at his sister as though he'd like to turn her inside out. "Boy! You knew all that was going to happen, and you spruced off on me. I'm totally jiggered. Why, Alice?"

I folded my arms, bra dangling, and glared at my Maid of Honour. Hopefully somebody would explain Edward's antiquated slang to me someday, but I thought I got the gist of it.

"You two are often MIA when duty calls."

Edward pinched his eyes shut. "We're worn out, Titch. Nobody ever leaves us alone. We need a break."

"You're going on a honeymoon. I recommend that you lie around for a month. Pull up a nice snowdrift in Antarctica."

Edward's fists flexed. "I am not taking Bella to Antarctica. Stop messing with her head. And as for your recommendation, we can't wait that long. We need quiet time now!"

"Oh calm down, will you?" Alice stopped frowning and gave us an appraising look. "You just need some… stress release."

Both of us actually growled. Alice didn't so much as flinch. She must have Seen that we had a soft spot for pixies, however annoying they might be. Dammit.

"What exactly do you think we were doing before Charlie showed up?" my mate demanded shrilly.

"Exactly. There you go!" Alice said, waving her arm. We gaped at her.

"Charlie scared the crap out of us!" Edward looked dangerously close to a meltdown, and I had his back. I would gladly push the button once Alice was loaded in the chipper-shredder. "Don't you think you could have warned us he was coming?"

Alice looked at Edward in pity and patted his arm. "This was the best way to handle it, really. Trust me. Charlie will adjust and everything will be duck soup from now on. Look how much more kindly disposed he was to you just now."

Edward was not placated. "Yes, until Rosalie showed him that picture. How could you have picked that photo to display publicly? It's practically pornographic. Are you a sappy date? Charlie is going to have my balls!"

Alice remained calm. "I told you, it will be fine. Everything that happened tonight is win. Charlie's going to think about how fast you two disappeared, and he's going to feel guilty about it. I am going to go in there and admit mea culpa for the Announcement, and you two will be off the hook. And you two have him right where you want him: he's prepared to treat you like adults, he has a lot more respect for Esme and Carlisle, and he might actually start saying more than twenty words a day."

Edward sighed and pinched between his eyes. "Couldn't you have picked something a little less risqué to put in the papers? Like folks around here don't get an earful about us enough! Like the males of the species don't ogle Bella enough! What was the idea?"

"I just thought some of the Romeos who chase Bella could use a reminder that she belongs to you," Alice shrugged.

"You're just trying to appeal to my dom tendencies, and you know what? Your excuse is a load of bull. You should stop trying to think like a male, because you totally don't understand us. I don't think that photo is going to convince Bella's admirers to leave her alone at all. More likely, they will crop me out of the picture and pin it up in their rooms."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It was a dilly of a picture. I couldn't resist. So sue me."

"Speaking of a dilly of a picture, what in the name of all that is holy do you think you're going to do with the ones you took tonight?"

"Oh, they're just to prove to Rose and Emmett that I wasn't making all this up. I'll delete them after that."

"Fuck." I had never heard Edward use the F-word before. He was pinching his eyes shut again. I glared at Alice for upsetting my mate like that!

"We all love you both, c'mon," she pleaded. "We're just glad you aren't a repressed stalker anymore."

"Thanks very much, Alice. Just you wait 'til I've got something juicy on you. I will get you for this. Oh, and speaking of 'getting' something, I can't believe you and Jasper! Doing the horizontal mambo while Carlisle was trying to settle Charlie down? If you ever send me mental pictures like that again, I am going to turn you both inside out! And you put the idea of Dommes and Subs in Charlie's head. He's probably scarred for life. You are a bloody pair of meddling voyeurs."

'It takes one to know one," Alice growled. She hesitated, looking a little bit contrite. "Maybe it was a little over-the-top, but you hurt my feelings when you sneered at my advice. Besides, Jazz and I had to do something to get Carlisle back for sending us to our room. We missed too much fun. And we weren't exactly horizontal. More diagonal. You know, Jasper's really flexible."

"TMI, sister! I don't buy it that your feelings were hurt. I don't know what you're up to, but I know you and Jasper are cooking up something. I wish you'd stop trying to direct my sex life. I can manage on my own. It's private. Stick with directing Jasper's."

"The trouble is, your sex life has been a little too, um, private, for far too long."

Really? I evaluated him surreptitiously. So he did polish the rod. My lady parts started to twitch. Luckily, he was too preoccupied with Alice to notice.

Edward rolled his eyes, and put his hands on his hips. "Butt out!"

Alice beamed. "Ooh, Bella, speaking of butts-"

"Finish that sentence and I will make sure you and Jasper do not have a sex life for a very long time!" Edward warned, looking lethal.

With a rush of wind, the bad boy Texan materialized at my side. I flinched. "Did somebody mention directing my sex life?" he asked in his round baritone. Jasper was wearing a black 'Bite Me' t-shirt along with a studded black leather dog collar, leash, and wrist bands. He had a silver chain-link dog leash threaded through his black skinny jeans like a belt, and steel-toed black cowboy boots with silver spurs on them. He looked more dangerous than ever. I backed up a little and he smirked at me.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "You butt out, too. You're going to scare Bella out of marrying me. What are you up to, Jasper Hale?"

"There were no secrets in the family before Bella came along. I just think she should be granted the same status as the rest of the Cullen-Hale Clan. She'll be less easy to scare, soon, and more durable. You'll be perfectly matched, and then you can-"

"There were plenty of secrets in the family before Bella joined. People just didn't try to goad us by flaunting their behaviour. Don't try to change the subject. The evening didn't go so well thanks to Charlie. He should be really happy about that, but-"

"What do you mean, 'it didn't go so well'? You were amazing." Alice beamed at her brother.

"Hey, Bimbo, we provided a distraction." Jasper hooked his thumbs through his belt and leaned on the tree.

"Yeah, now Charlie thinks our parents are permissive flower children. Great improvement! Besides, you didn't need to provide a distraction. You could have used your influence to calm Charlie down earlier, and instead you let us experience the evening from Hell."

"By the time I saw Charlie, he had himself well under control. There was more chance that I'd make things worse if I intervened. Our idea was far more fun." Jazz turned away from Edward and gave Alice the eye. She looked up at him coyly. They were usually so reserved with each other in public that I was a little taken aback, "And, I was preoccupied. You can't find fault with me for that, Bimbo. You wouldn't be in this situation had you not been preoccupied. That was hysterical. Did-ja have fun on Second Base, children?" He regarded us seriously with his head crooked slightly. Like we were going to answer that?

Edward's eyes rolled. "Oh yeah, a loaded gun in proximity to Bella was fun."

"Are you referring to your gun or Charlie's?" Alice teased, making Jasper snicker.

Edward was getting angrier. "Oh, you're so amusing! Carlisle said a gun going off against my temple would have created a really big permanent gap in my mental functioning."

Alice clicked her tongue. "You and Bella were never in any danger, Edward. I Saw that hours ago. Otherwise, I would have intervened before you got too carried away. I wouldn't want to lose my baby sister or brother. But Charlie had to stop you before you went too far. There was a ten percent chance that you would have hurt Bella, and a three percent chance that she would have been badly hurt enough that the wedding would have had to be cancelled."

"Jeez Louise!" Edward sighed, pinching his eyes shut again. He must have developed a headache.

"You need to practice. I can help you with that, Bella," Alice offered sincerely.

"NO!" Edward and I both yelped.

"I do not need help with that, okay?" I snarled, my eyeballs boring into hers.

"I think you do. You both have to be brave and express yourselves. You're both so scared to lose your partner's respect that you're not letting each other in."

"That's not true!" we both snapped.

"Yes, it is. You are both keeping your desires under wraps," Jasper declared. "One of you is soon going to have a nervous breakdown."

Edward and I stared at each other. There was a lion in there waiting to come out! I bet he was caging one up, too.

"I couldn't resist giving you the opportunity to cut yourselves loose from all that angst," Alice revealed solemnly.

I broke out of my trance, temper flaring. "Alice! Please don't say the word 'cut' around me! At least until I'm like you. There's been enough stress without any mention of cuts. Tonight, you let us jump in the ocean with a Great White. You promised me that you wouldn't go overboard," I pouted, "Then, you stacked the odds and let us get into trouble. In case you don't understand, let me tell you, that the evening was really scary and highly embarrassing, and we are not looking forward to seeing that photo in the paper. We're going to be all over Jessica's blog. Her mother and Mrs Bellows will spread the news across the western seaboard. And, lord, I can hardly wait to hear from Tanya. Give me a good reason why Edward and I shouldn't run off to Vegas right now."

Alice gave me the puppy-dog eyes. "Because you love me, you're eager for the wedding, and all of this will look silly tomorrow." She turned to my mate. "Now why don't you take Bella someplace nice, Edward, and let her get some sleep. After Rose and I talk to Charlie he won't be mad at you anymore, and then he'll be restless until you patch things up. You should call him first thing in the morning."

With that, Alice hopped daintily up the tree and through the window. Edward and I stared after her in a state of numb disbelief.

"It's a good thing she's cute," Edward muttered.

"Oh, yeah. It is, for sure. Have a good night, Miss Bella. A really gooood night." With that, Jasper swung himself lithely up the tree and through the window, and was gone.

Edward took my hand wordlessly, and led me around the outside of the house, to the garage. He unlocked the Vanquish and opened the passenger side door for me.

"They weren't watching when we, uh…were they?" I breathed.

Just then, Esme quietly came in through the kitchen door, shutting it softly behind her. "Everything's okay," she reassured us, smiling softly. "Here's an overnight bag for you, Bella. There are toothbrushes and some supplies, pyjamas and fresh clothes for both of you. Alice packed this for you earlier today. Oh, and she put your passports in here, too. She seems to think you'll need them. Here's your purse."

"How'd you get my wallet?" Edward asked tightly, giving his mother a disapproving look. I wondered what was going through her head.

"Alice fetched your things from Bella's house while we were all occupied with Charlie."

My mate nodded curtly, and put it in his pocket.

I took the bag with a murmur of thanks, blushing, and hid my bra in it. I hugged Esme and got in the car. I was going to kill the interfering pixie. Somehow. It might take me a while to get my revenge, but get it I would. Grr.

Edward backed the Vanquish out of the garage and took off down the drive like a fire was lit underneath us. He looked stony. We passed, of all things, Carlisle driving Charlie's cruiser. I saluted in response to his wave, consumed with my thoughts. In no time at all, we were booting down the I-5 South at a couple of hundred miles an hour. It didn't occur to me to protest the speed. The faster we went, the farther away I would be from the source of our humiliation. But what would happen next? How was I going to get Edward out of his funk? Perhaps distraction would work.

"Edward? I don't understand why Alice uses a lot of the same slang that you do. If she has no memory of her human life, how could she know early Twentieth Century slang?"

"Are you trying to distract me?"

"Yes," I admitted, cringing a little.

He sighed. "It's not working. You are terrible at creating distractions, just so you know." He paused. "The myna bird picked it up from me. She wishes she could remember something pleasant from her human life, see? It makes her feel better. It makes her feel like she has roots."

Yeah, he was in a black temper. He wasn't looking at me, which was never a good sign, and he wasn't touching me, either. At least I knew it wasn't my fault. I decided to stop talking, and try to give him some space.

I felt a smidge of pity for Alice. Not more than a smidge. I was still fantasizing about pushing her into a chipper-shredder.

Edward drove, consumed by his thoughts, and I didn't know quite how to break the silence. I was starting to worry that he would stay in his funk all night, and that would be a real waste of couple-alone-time. Eventually, I decided to try to pry his feelings out of him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked gently.

He sighed through his nose, eyes on the road, and leaned back in the chair a bit, taking his right hand off the steering wheel. He reached for my hand, and held it on his knee. He still wasn't looking at me.

"I'm … mad."

"No guff."

His thumb caressed the top of my hand comfortingly. I watched him struggle with that Victorian gentleman in his head.

"You can tell me what's-"

He took his hand back and tapped out a complicated rhythm on the steering wheel. "I want to break something into tiny little pieces."

"Okay," I told him. I wondered if he would let me help.

"No. Not productive," he sighed. "I…" He took my hand back, and played with my fingers.

"Are you… frustrated?" I coaxed.

The world spun and the next thing I knew he was out of the car, which was neatly parked at the side of the road. Crashes to my right, inside the forest, indicated that he had indeed found something expendable to bash to smithereens. I opted to stay put. The dragon was out of its cage.

I thought I heard the occasional curse word.

After several minutes, he got back in the car, fuming, and sat with both hands on the wheel, flexing his wrists so that his fingers rubbed circles around it. The wheel was in serious danger of being damaged. That proved he was well-beyond frustrated. He loved the Vanquish.

"Do you want me to prattle on about something meaningless?" I offered tentatively.

"No," he pouted.

I waited quietly.

Finally, he blew out his breath and banged his head back against the seat, his eyes shut tight. "Yes, I'm frustrated. I'm so bloody frustrated that I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't even know what I should want anymore. I've tried to be a gentleman from Day One, and look where it's gotten us! There are going to be people all over the planet looking at that photo. Everybody we know –the Volturi, the Denalis, our friends and family, our petty enemies, strangers- everybody is going to see it. And just wait 'til Rose lets the other ones out. I know she will! And Alice thinks they're going to be destroyed? Hah! And here, you didn't want to get married in case somebody thought I knocked you up, and now this? People are going to decimate our privacy. And meanwhile, we're going to be clinging to proper behaviour? It's too late. I don't want to pretend anymore."

"What are you saying?" I asked weakly, feeling faint.

He brought his palm down like he was going to smack it on the steering wheel, and stopped himself at the last instant, sparing the life of the Vanquish. He was so wound up that it made the back of my neck prickle.

"Breathe, Bella," he said, white to the lips. And he had just fed. I started to hyperventilate. He finally looked at me, totally confused. "What on earth are you thinking?"

"Are you calling the wedding off?" I wheezed.

"No! God, no! Don't be ridiculous." He turned totally grey, and I watched him like a mouse in front of a snake.

I mastered my breathing while he calmed himself.

"I'm tired…" he began, "oh, I don't know how to say this."

"You can say anything to me," I promised.

His hands twisted on the wheel, feeling its smoothness. "I'm tired of being proper."

"Really?" I squealed. Happy happy joy joy!

"Fuck, yeah! Oh my god I just swore in front of a lady. Ohhh and I took God's name in vain. My sainted mother is rolling in her grave. I'm so sor-"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

He pinched his eyes shut, long right leg stretched out, left bent. "I'm too out of control. My nerves are shot. Don't touch me! If you touch me right now we will not be getting married in 26 days, you will be somewhere remote, in the Far North, feeding on elk. And in that circumstance, neither one of us will be getting any 'stress release' as Alice terms it, for several days. That would probably kill me. The meddling little witch! Why are they always watching? They know we're shy. I know they love us, but holy crow! They watch, and they get smug, and they praise me for things that are none of their business, and they tease. Rosalie is snarky, Jasper laughs at me, even Carlisle does, and Emmett's always calling me a blue-nosed prude. And the truth is that it's not my nose that's blue, it's my balls!"

"Really?" I beamed. This was beyond exciting. This was a break-through. Edward looked at me, his eyes round as dinner plates, and disconcertingly brown.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," he whimpered, pinching his eyes shut.

"So… are you thinking you want to … finish what we started?" I asked, a little afraid of the answer.

"I don't know. I wanted to get married first," he sighed, dropping his hand.

I thought it through. "If we … do it, will you regret it?"

He took quite a few minutes to answer. "In some ways, yes."

"Important ways?"

He looked so uncertain. "Yes."

"And if we wait, will you have any regrets about that?"

"Emotionally, no. Physically, yes. You?"

"The same. Edward? I want my wedding."

He bit his lips, then licked them. "Me, too."

"The choice seems obvious, then, doesn't it?" I asked softly.

He shifted away from me, his frustration obvious. "We wait."

"And we… practice."

He groaned. "Jeez, Bella! Don't bring that up now! You have no sense of self-preservation."

He sat still, trying to get a grip on his emotions. I could practically feel angst radiating off of him. After a while, I decided that whatever he was telling himself wasn't working. At all. Because, aside from the fact that he had his head in his hand, his legs crossed toward his door, his entire body turned away from me, grey skin, and he wasn't talking, something was trying to make its presence known.

"Why do you repress yourself?" I murmured, feeling sad for the seventeen-year-old boy who was stifled by the Victorian.

"I'm not repressed! Repressed people don't feel the things they ought to. They're apathetic. I feel plenty! I am trying not to hurt you, Bella!"

"You have never hurt me. May I touch?"

He didn't answer. I decided to take a risk. If he made any sudden moves, I'd rip off my bracelet and spill the beads, and see if he was one of those vampires who found that distracting. After all, it had worked for me with other males who got aggressive.

Resting my cheek on the back of his shoulder, I reached around him super-slowly and ran my first two fingers over his crotch, whispering, "Hello, Ginchy."

My mate yelped, and I jumped out of my skin. Then it occurred to me that there was something warmish and wet on my hand. Holy cow I have Edward's cum in my hand. Now what do I do? Touch it again, you moron, he doesn't get tired. I laid my cheek back down on his back, wishing I could see, and ran my hand back along his bulge. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat. I realized some of the buttons on his fly were undone. Now how did that happen? I could have sworn he didn't touch them. I slid one finger inside, and he moved instantly, stilling me.

"Stay outside," he murmured.

"Don't you want me to…?"

"Outside my jeans," he growled. He growled at me. How hawt was that!

" 'Kay." I palmed his privates through the heavy denim, until his thighs started to quiver, and he stifled a cry. Again, my hand was wet. I snuck a look at it: not silver. White. Colour me surprised.

This was much more interesting than dry humping. As interesting as having his finger inside me. I started rubbing him again immediately, and felt his dick grow hard under my hand. He sucked a hissing breath in through his teeth.

"Can I see?" I whispered.

"Not tonight," he rasped, still facing away.

"Why did you undo your jeans?" I asked, trying not to pout.

"I didn't," he said darkly.

"But…"

"They're torn. My dick made a break for freedom. Evidently Calvins hold up under pressure better than denim."

There's my Love! He's getting back his sense of humour. "Hah. Good to know." I rubbed at his crotch some more, then traced a finger up toward his waistband. I couldn't find an end to his shaft. I slid my fingers higher. He froze. I slid them up a little more. His breathing turned ragged.

Ohmygod! His dick is sticking right up past his waistband!

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Squeeeeee!

I bet he's thinking the same thing.

My fingers found his glans, imprisoned beneath a thick layer of slippery-wet knit cotton. My bet was that it would be unbelievably soft. I drew a tentative circle on it, spreading the wetness over the fabric.

"Bella," he cried, and his cum ran down the back of my hand as he swallowed a groan. It turned into a sob. Angling his shoulder toward me, he cupped my face in his large hand, and tipped it for a kiss.

"Wow," I breathed. He went back to hiding his eyes from me. Was it shyness or shame? "Hey, you okay?"

"Mm."

"Huh?"

"Yeah."

"Feeling shy?"

"Yeah." He peeped at me from under his lashes. Then he noticed my hand was very … messy. He retrieved a box of Kleenex from heaven-knows-where, wadded some up, and wiped me down. "I…"

"You don't have to talk."

"Yes, I… um, thank you?"

"Anytime. Well, maybe not when your family's watching. Unless we're under a blanket, or hidden behind a table cloth, or something. Lauren said she jerked off a guy at his parents' Thanksgiving dinner. That could be hot."

"Bella!" he gasped.

"Or we could do it in a phone booth, like Lois and Superman." I waggled my brows at him like a dimestore villain.

"Bella!" he giggled. Yeah, I made Edward Cullen giggle. My life is good.

I rolled my eyes and poked him playfully. "Just joshing, Mocha-chino. I know. I am brazen."

"No," he said softly. "You're… perfect."

"I am, huh?" I cocked my head at him. "Forks High Biology Lab?"

"God, yes."

I looked at him, stunned. Slowly, his face lit up.

"You brat!" I gasped.

"Seventeen. Forever."

"I can tell."

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" he asked shyly.

"Sure."

Quietly, he exited the car, taking the Kleenex box with him. Moments later, he was back, his t-shirt pulled neatly over his jeans. He chucked the Kleenex into the back, and got comfortable in his seat.

"You look better," I told him.

He rubbed his hand over his face, inhaling deeply. Then, he did something I thought impossible: He yawned.

I gawped at him.

"What?" he asked, as though nothing was different.

"You yawned," I told him. I felt his forehead. Had he reverted to human? Nope, still chilly.

"I never did," he frowned. "That's impossible."

"You totally did," I insisted. "Do all males get tired after blowing their loads? Endorphins?"

"We don't get tired. Oh." My mate looked stunned. "Oh, my. I'm tired. This is what 'tired' feels like."

"O-kaaaay," I said, getting out of the car. Edward watched me, perplexed. I walked around to the driver's side and opened the door. "Shove over."

"Huh?"

"I'm driving. My vampire mate thinks he's tired."

"It's after two in the morning!" he protested. "You can't possibly drive safely."

"Oh, I think I'm wired enough to make it to Seattle. Now, scoot!"

"Bella-"

"Now. Or I'll call Carlisle."

"Jeez Louise." Edward reluctantly got into the passenger seat, and I took his place behind the wheel.

"Don't floor it," he warned me.

I turned the key and gunned the engine, then took off at an excessive speed just to get his goat.

"Cut it out, I'm serious," he growled.

"Okay, okay. I'm just messing with your head."

"My nerves are shot, remember?" His words were the tiniest bit slurred.

"Maybe we should call Carlisle," I fretted.

He shifted, kicking off his shoes, and curled up like an exceedingly large cat on the chair, resting the side of his head on the headrest. "It's not necessary. I'm sure it's just the… letdown after stress. I've been tired for years, Bella. Mentally and emotionally."

"But you look like you could fall asleep," I argued.

"We don't sleep," he murmured.

"Try," I urged him.

He rolled his eyes and sighed at me, as if to say 'this is a big waste of time', but reclined his seat a little and wrapped his arms around his knees facing me. He set his head on them and I gave his hair a stroke. He fell silent, and I gave all my attention over to the drive.

After a few minutes, he sat up impatiently, pulled out his Blackberry, and started texting away.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked softly.

"Hotel."

"Mm."

Mission accomplished, he put his phone away and curled up again, shutting his eyes. He stayed that way all the way to Seattle, but I knew he wasn't asleep.

"We're in the city," I said softly. The highway was quiet, it was so late.

"You want off at the Union Street Exit. You'll be turning right so stay in the slow lane."

" 'Kay."

Soon, we were off the highway onto blissfully quiet streets.

"Okay. Turn left on Fifth Avenue, please." He sat up and put on his shoes. I was so curious. What kind of hotel would my mate pick this time? "Now, we have to circle around the block, because the street we want is one-way. Two blocks down, you're turning right. Seneca Street."

I switched to the middle lane. An elegant high-rise came into view. "Holy crow! Is that it?"

"That would be it. Now go around this block, keeping right."

I swerved into the next lane, which was the one we wanted, and Edward looked at me as though I was endangering his life.

"Sorry," I winced. "I was scared I'd miss it."

He cleared his throat, still eyeing me warily. "This is why I drive."

"Hey! I got us here, Sleepy," I grinned.

"I am not sleepy," he pouted. "You'll have to pull around for the valet. Look, there, see?"

"Yep."

We stopped, and Edward got out and arranged for the parking. Then, he came around and opened my door, and took the little black duffel from me. He crooked his elbow and I took his arm, and then he escorted me inside the hotel.

I shut my mouth before any flies could get in. Not that there would be any flies in a place like this! The lobby was like something out of a century-old movie. Like an Agatha Christie or something. There were red oriental carpets on the floor, and lots of dark wood, and the next room had sort of blond wood café furniture with sand-coloured décor and a lot of plants. But best of all, there was a huge, curving white staircase with soft red carpeting. Edward seemed fascinated with my reaction.

"Is this from your time?" I whispered in awe.

"Hah. Not really. This place opened in 1924. We didn't come here until the 30's."

"Has it changed much?"

"Not so far," he smirked, leading me toward the desk.

"Hello. Welcome to the Fairmont Olympic. Would you be Mr and Mrs Cullen?" the night clerk asked solicitously. He was a corpulent, moustached man in his thirties, wearing a typical grey business suit, but he seemed very relaxed and informal for all that.

"Indeed," Edward said coolly, handing over his credit card. I stood beside him shyly, playing with my ring.

"I hope you will excuse me for assuming so. You are the only people we are expecting to check in at this time of night." He gave me the once-over, and Edward turned frosty. I wondered what the man was thinking.

Edward gave him a reproving look. "We were not intending to stop here, but we required a rest from driving. What time is check-out?"

"Eleven."

"Do you have automatic check-out?"

The clerk looked a little sheepish. "My apologies, but we have been having a little difficulty with the computer. I hope it will not greatly inconvenience you to come down."

Edward looked at him haughtily. "Fine. The keys, please? My bride needs her sleep."

Now, that just came out wrong, but he didn't so much as twitch. Or maybe he really meant it. Maybe he was going to wear me out in the morning. I could imagine some great activities for that!

The clerk handed over two key cards and the paperwork. "Tenth floor, Room 1023. Elevators to your right.

Edward took everything with a clipped word of thanks, and led me to the elevators.

"We're not going up the stairs," I said wistfully.

Edward huffed a laugh. "We can try them out in the morning, okay? But I think it's a bit far up to drag you at this time of the morning.

"What floor, again?"

"Tenth."

We got on the elevator, and in no time at all, Edward had swiped us in, and set my bag down on the lime green chaise longue. There was a small, black lacquered desk in the corner. A king-size bed dominated the room. The bedding was white, and a blush pink throw was neatly folded across its end. Wow.

The room was freezing. I shivered. Edward shut off the air conditioning. "I hope you won't mind that I didn't book a suite. I figured we were only going to be here a handful of hours."

"No, this is… lovely. Please excuse me. I need a human moment."

"Yes," he murmured, pulling aside the sheer curtain to have a look out the window.

I snagged the bag, shut myself in the fancy bathroom, put on my black silk pj's and got ready for bed. When I came out, I found my mate wearing his favourite black velour track pants and hoodie. His brown contact lenses were gone. I couldn't help noticing that he was looking at me like I was something to eat. Was there any chance of that happening? Ahem.

Before long, Edward was spooned up behind me, under the white down duvet. "Bella?" he breathed softly into my ear. It tickled.

"Yes?" How is it possible to be this tired and this turned on at the same time?

"I don't think I'll be asking you to 'bring on the shackles' for a while," he growled, his voice dark and sultry.

I chuckled. Then Edward chuckled. Before long we were both laughing uncontrollably, sprawled out on our backs.

"Only us," he howled, "That could only happen to us!"

"Not necessarily, it could happen to anybody. It just seems that stuff like that always happens to us."

"Danger Magnet."

I rolled onto his chest to confront him, "Oh, and where were your superpowers when Charlie was sneaking up the stairs? Not keeping an eye out for danger then, were you , Mr. Overprotective?"

He tried to look innocent, which was a little disconcerting thanks to the bloodshot burgundy irises he was sporting. "You distracted me. I told you my kind was easily distracted, didn't I? You, Miss, are the biggest distraction I've ever met. You should be flattered that I lost track of everything else. Huh! I can't believe Charlie hauled me up in front of Carlisle and Esme in my tighty-whities."

I threw myself back on my side of the bed, "At least you had some," I groused. "Every member of your family will soon have seen my lack thereof. What an introduction to the family that keeps no secrets from each other! I guess I should be glad, at least, that Emmett wasn't there."

Edward choked, "At least Charlie didn't shoot me. I could just see the bullet ricocheting." The hysterics resumed before he finished his sentence. The whole bed was jiggling.

"He probably would have killed himself and me. Another JFK magic bullet."

"That is terrifyingly plausible for you. Thank Heaven he didn't punch me, because he thought about it. I bet he would have done it hard enough to crush every bone in his hand. And I wouldn't have known how to fake being hurt." Edward theatrically put his hand to his jaw, rolled his eyes sadly and whimpered 'ow'. His grin marred the effect.

"Not in the least convincing." I grinned back. "We'd really have some 'splainin' to do then! Like why his hand was in irreparable bits and you didn't even get a bruise."

Edward blinked earnestly into my eyes with an expression reminiscent of Alice, "Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry Chief, but I'm the undead, and we don't bruise. Would you like me to keep your hand cold while we drive you to my house? I could hold it for you. I have no circulation so my hands are always freezing. The genius vampire doctor will be glad to tend you and stop your blood from flowing. Oh, I didn't mean it that way!"

"Oh, don't crack me up!"

Several minutes passed before our snickers died down. Edward got out of bed and turned out the lamps. It was briefly quiet, then my mate did a remarkable imitation of Charlie, "Bells? I forbid you to marry the undead day-walker. He might give you cooties. You are grounded for the rest of your life."

"Just get to know them 'Charlie'. Come over Sunday for dinner."

Edward groaned, "Oh, love, now that is enough." Muffled snorts into his pillow.

"You, sir, are giddy."

"Go to sleep, you minx."

I couldn't. The giggles broke out again. Then, he giggled because I giggled and I giggled because he giggled. It just kept escalating, until finally we were both roaring so loud that somebody thump-thump-thumped on the wall. That brought tears of mirth to my eyes, and made it even harder to stop. We tried to stifle the laughter. One of us would gasp, and then silent giggles would briefly shake the mattress again.

I reached over and stroked Edward's hair, trying to see him in the dark room, "I've never heard you laugh like that before."

His fingers fondled the silk covering my backside. "I've never laughed like that before. My existence was so monotonous before you came along. Don't ever leave me, Miss Swan."

"Of course not, Mr. Cullen. Who else could make me laugh like this?" I pressed a kiss to each corner of his mouth, and his lips quirked upward again. He shut his eyes, and I tucked my face into his neck and went to sleep.