We finally hit the halfway mark,

So a special chapter just to spark,

Your imagination and to set the stage,

We introduce you now to Captain Cage.

The mood was tense. As of late, decent family dinners were a rare treat. The war had hit hard. Half the time London was in a state of disarray, the other disillusionment. The woes of war left little to look forward to, for the Captain something as measly as a family meal became the highlight of the stay back home. He was, after all, a Family Man.

The Captain commandeered ships for the Royal Navy. He'd spend weeks, sometimes months away at sea, most of the time anticipating layover.

His wife Alice Kim, however was less excited about her husband's return. He got a certain way since the war began, more like a Lord of War than ever before. He was not the same compassionate husband and father who left them all that time ago, there was something sinister behind his eyes. Alice did her best to ignore such thoughts, being a dutiful wife was what mattered now. It was what her darling Nic wanted. Really, the only thoughts that kept her going were the memories of when she and Nic were young, when she caught his eye in the City of Angels after Leaving Las Vegas.

The table was laid out nicely before the family. Captain at the head while Alice and their son, Kal-el, sat on either side. Their bull terrier, Joe, sat by The Captain's side, begging for scraps. On the table, a goldfish in a small tank sat next to Kal-el, his new pet which he was so proud of. Alice had made a traditional English supper of sausages, scones, black pudding and a side of custard, rice pudding, figgy pudding, bread pudding and tea to drink.

No one spoke at first - they enjoyed the first few bites in silence - but then the ice was broken by Alice, "Nic, honey, did you have fun at Winston's poker game last night? Did he say anything about the response Hitler gave him after sending S.O.S. Adaptation to him?"

"No sirree! I actually believe Winston was avoiding the topic altogether. I dare say that whenever someone tiptoed around it he would immediately change the subject."

"That man has too much pride! Surely he must realize that sometimes it's okay for it to get a bit bruised."

"Alice, this is war! How could you be so ignorant?"

"Nic, it was a jok-"

"A joke? It was made entirely in poor taste. Winston is a National Treasure! Alice, if you think I will sit here and listen to-"

Ring ring.

The noise interrupted The Captain in the midst of his rant. He abruptly got up and went to the ringing phone but not before shooting daggers from his Snake Eyes at his wife.

"NIC! During dinner?!"

"Yes, this is Captain Cage...I see...Of course I understand… Long live the King."

Alice watched the conversation from her seat at the table, brewing in her anger. When the Captain hung up the phone she waited until he took his place at the table to say.

"What was so important that it had to disturb you at dinner time?"

"Shove off, Alice, it was important business."

Kal-el's interest had peaked, "Father, what sort of business?"

The Captain whipped his head in his son's direction.

"CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN NOT HEARD!"

With a sudden ferocity, The Captain stood from his chair and made his way to his son in two quick steps. He grabbed Kal-el by the arm and dragged him back to his spot at the head of the table. He put the boy to his knee, brought down his trousers, then with a firm and swift hand, spanked the unsuspecting youth.

"WAHHHHHHH"

"SEEN NOT HEARD!"

He gave Kal-el 9 more spanks really quickly. Kal-el took the rest in silence. Alice could not believe her eyes. She had just stood there and watched. That was not the kind of mother she wanted to or was going to be, but unfortunately for her, Nic was ready to Kick Ass.

Alice stood up in front her chair and quickly closed the space between her and her husband. She grabbed Kal-el from The Captain's lap and shrieked, "How dare you!" then promptly slapped him across the face.

The Captain was furious before but now a rage awoke within him that had been caged for years. It was like a ghost riding out of the depths of hell with Meat Loaf playing in the background. Captain Cage grabbed Alice and did the same thing he did to Kal-el onto her.

War does crazy things - It Could Happen to You. He was a maniac.

"You're a maniac!" Alice yelled through tears.

"No pets at the table!" The Captain grabbed the fish Next and spanked it too.

The dog had capitalised on the ensuing chaos, grabbing a sausage from a plate and running off, unfortunately it had occurred in the midst of The Captain's spanking spree. Captain Cage dropped the fish and was in hot pursuit of the dog. When he got to the front yard, he gave the dogs some spanks, too.

The crazed man looked into the sky and saw a full moon, he was free at last, allowed to be Wild at Heart. He was absolutely Moonstruck and this lead to an epiphany. He had kept spanking out of his life for too long, nothing could stop him now. He was one with his spanking mojo. Life was but a spank. He had truly become Ghost Spanker: Spank of Vengeance.

Through embracing the spank life he opened the doors of his mind. He was the prophet of the spank and he knew his mission. He needed to spank the unruly island he saw in his mind, a group of unruly boys Trapped in Paradise. A Con Air flight gone wrong. The Rock on the island painted red. The Croods running through the forest, hunting beasts. The Sorcerer's Apprentice, the second coming of Jesus laying in a pool of blood. A Vampire's Kiss from a boy hopelessly in love with someone who didn't reciprocate. The non-reciprocating boy's Face/Off. Though it was hard to explain, The Captain knew it was real and knew also that he needed to find it for humanity's sake. Humanity's vigilante was on the case and he was the only one who would truly be Seeking Justice against these offenders. First he would tackle the spanking prophecy of the island next, spanking Hitler. There was no Knowing what good he could bring to the world with a nice, firm and well deserved spanking.

He ran from the yard and was Gone in Sixty Seconds. That very same night he brought together his crew and ended their layover early on what he told everyone was "orders from the top." He was the only who knew the true intentions of mission, only this Bad Lieutenant could restore the balance. He would Drive Angry all the way to the island that called his name. These boys would continue on with this Season of the Witch no more.