Disclaimer : I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters in any way ,

Note ; suggestion would be to listen to a sad song and put it on repeat, or get a playlist while reading. For this chapter, I listened to The Ice Is Getting Thinner - Death Cab For Cutie . Highly suggested ! Anyway, please enjoy !

Kagome sat, staring at nothing in particular. She should have been staring at her computer, working busily as always, but her mind was elsewhere. Tapping her pen, Kagome re ran the night in her head. After Sesshoumaru had kissed her, he quickly pushed her off, paced for a moment, then began down the street. Kagome had done nothing but watch until his figure was no longer visible. She had felt stinging pain of tears falling down her cheeks, the hammering silence in her chest. Kouga had flung through the doors, to find Kagome crying on the concrete floor, blood staining her chest. He helped her up and brought her home, staying with her through the night. Kagome remembered the hotness of his fingers, the soft feel of his tongue. She wanted to touch him, to talk to him. But Sesshoumaru had made it impossible for her, or anyone for that matter, to get near him for the past week. Kagome sighed, tapping her pen slowly. She was a fling, a play thing that he forgot was useless.

Kagome stood and walked the halls. What really made her think, was the blood. She had felt like death was watching her from behind, her heart felt like it was going to stop. Kagome wondered what was comming, what was trying to get her now.

"Are you sure your feeling alright?" Kouga asked. Kagome looked up, tucking her pen in her pocket.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm just, you know. Getting some.. exercise." Kagome smiled brightly at Kouga.

"Oh, I see. Well, would you like to go on a walk with me outside? I had something I wanted to discuss with you." Kagome nodded and followed Kouga down the hall.

Outside, Kagome felt the soft breeze on her face and smelled the sweet scent of flowers. The company had their own flower garden; in it you could find daisies, roses, lilies, anything you can think of. A gold colored chain fence surrounded the flowers, blocking it off from the animals of society. Kagome always felt secretive and quiet in that garden. It gave her a sense of peace, something that was rare those days.

"So, I guess i'll get straight to the point." Kouga began. Kagome turned to face him, a smile lining her face.

"What is it?"

"Well, I know this is sort of un professional."

"Yes?"

"And a little unorthodox."

"..Yes?"

"But.. I think.. I really like you."

Kagome's eyes widened. She tried to keep her smile.

"Really? Oh, I didn't know." Kouga fiddled with his fingers as Kagome tried to brush her hair off of her face.

"We've known eachother forever, and I've always loved you Kagome. I want.. I want you to be mine, and only mine." Kouga smiled weakly, clearly anxious to know what she'd say.

Kagome nodded, "Well, I dont know how I could say no to that." Light shone in Kouga's eyes.

"So, you'll go out with me?" Kouga smiled as Kagome nodded and laughed. He hugged Kagome, excitement exploding on his face. "I'm making dinner tonight, come over at around seven?" Kagome nodded as he made his way back into the building. Kagome sighed, collapsing onto a bench.

"A little hectic week for one little busy body, don't you think?" Kagome froze. No...

"Hmph. It seems the un cute secretary is getting cuter with every day. I'm almost jealous."

Kagome stared at her feet. She couldnt think of the words to say, and even if she could, she could never get the words out through her stutter. She looked up, startled. Sesshoumaru stood, his face a few inches from hers. His long, silvery hair draped over his shoulders, brushing softly against her neck. He smelled of Jean Paul Gaultier cologne mixed with spear mint. His arms pushed against the wall behind Kagome, holding up his upper body which bent over her. Kagome felt herself blushing, her face becoming hotter. He was so close, his warmth was so close.

Kaogme blinked. When she looked around, she was alone, no Sesshoumaru, no Kouga, no nothing. She clutched her arms together and began to cry. Her heart sunk in her chest slithering down to her stomach. It felt like it was melting down into her thighs, slipping down her legs and pooling on the floor. Kagome wiped her eyes, standing in the puddle of red which was once her beating heart and straightened her skirt. She pushed her hair further back and put on her pseudo glasses. She needed to give Kouga an answer, but not before getting one from Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha rolled in bed as he listened to the un-ending ring of his phone. Gatcha Gatcha onii chaan~! Gatcha Gatcha He slopilly flipped it open, yawning at the same time.

"Heeeeello?" he said.

"Hi.. Inuyasha?" Inuyasha immediately perked up.

"Kaogme? It's been a while. You see? I knew you'd come crawling-"

"No. It's about Sesshoumaru, err, Taishou sama." Inuyasha gritted his teeth.

"Ugh. What about him?" Kagome hesitated.

"Did.. Sesshoumaru ever tell you anything.. about me and him?" Inuyasha nearly slammed the phone down on her.

"No. I don't talk to... it." Sesshoumaru listened to Kagome fret on the other line. He finally gave in.

"Jesus christ, if your going to be such a wuss about it, i'll give you a damn number. It's the number to some chick, Rin I think? Cute girl, i'd bang her if I got the chance, which I quite obviously wou-"

"Can I just get the number?" More teeth gritting.

"It's 894 123 4567" Inuyasha closed his phone, glancing at the clock. He groaned as he read 10:34 am.

Kagome dialed the numbers quickly, anxious to figure some things out. She had already anticipated the fact that Sessoumaru would be reluctant to tell her anything. He was too secretive, he wouldn't let her know in fear that it would hurt her. But Kaogme knew there had to be someone that he trusted.

"Hello?" the girl's voice was young and sweet, like spring time in full bloom. Kagome stood up straight, not wanting to sound improper.

"Hi. Is this Rin?" Kagome had no idea what she was going to say, but was determined to find some things out.

"Yes, who is this?"

"My name is Kagome. I'm... a close friend and collegue of Sesshoumaru. I was given this number by Inuyasha, I was hoping I could talk to you
about-"

"Oh god its Kaogme."

The young secretary heard a quick click and soon the dial tone. She stared at the phone with amazement, then slammed it down.

"God damn..." the phone rang again and she lept for it.

"Uhh.. Kaogme?"

Kagome grunted mildly into the phone, showing her annoyance at being hung up on.

"I'm sorry. That was rude, wasn't it? Can we meet someone maybe? How about the star cafe is 15 minutes? Your work is right close to there right? I live just down the street. I'll be wearing a blue dress. See you then." The dial tone interupted Kagome's attempts to protest. She needed to work today but could get someone to cover for her. She grabbed her bag and walked quickly out the door, un aware of the trials before her.

----

Kagome sat at the cafe, awaiting her new acquaintance to come. She looked around the cafe briefly and quickly found a young girl in a blue dress. She had long black hair that reached down her back. She was thin and cute, drawing the attention of every male in the cafe. As Kagome approached her, she smiled kindly. Kagome sat down and Rin's smile faded. She sighed sadly and looked out the window. When she looked back at Kagome, her smile was kind, but sad.

"I had expected you'd call eventually."

Kagome was astonished, she'd expected her call?

"I knew it was comming, I just didn't know when. I've made up my mind to let you in on everything if your a good enough person." She looked into Kagome's eyes and smiled warmly.

"I can tell that you are." She returned her gaze to the window and said nothing. Kagome fidgeted quietly, not knowing what to do or say.

"Before we start, tell me, do you love Sesshoumaru, or have you found another?" Kagome looked at Rin's unmoving face. She filled with dread, wanting to say no, but feeling the words slip off of her tongue.

"I think so. He really hurt me, in ways I cant even describe to you."

"I know. He told you he didnt want you, that you were lowly and unworthy. He procceded to be cruel and cold towards you." Kagome held her breath. Rin really knew everything.

"But he did it all to protect you." Kagome tilted her head.

"Protect me? How could this have been to protect me?" She asked. Rin laughed and smiled at Kagome.

"Because. Kagome, don't you see? All of the falling down stairs, the getting hurt, burned. It was all because you were with him, and you are not a high class woman. People thought you were unworthy, so they forced you two apart. Sesshoumaru rejected you after seeing what had been done to you.

"He was afraid that by being with him you were being hurt. So, he pushed you aside before he could hurt you anymore." Kagome stared at Rin. She thought there was no way, no possible way...

"He was suffering. Seeing you every day, smiling and happy. He was in pain the whole time. But he's just dealt with it. He would rather destroy himself than the things near to him."

Kagome felt tears start falling down her cheeks. She felt that it was her fault, she was busy flirting with Kouga while he was in pain. It all sounded surreal and wrong. He hurt her. He was to blame.

"I dont understand. Why would he need to-"

"Then this Kouga boy comes in. Young. Handsome. Same class as you. Kind. Perfect. In Sesshoumaru's eyes, he could do everything, but still never grant you happiness. He told me the other week, 'no matter how much i'd love her, I could never do what he would do. I'm a pitiful man in that sense."

Kagome wiped at her tears, but they just kept comming, soaking her napkin in the salty fluid.

"Kagome. He loves you." Rin started to cry too. But she just smiled, laughing through the tears.

"And I can tell, no matter how much he's hurt you, you love him too." Kaogme nodded and laughed with Rin. After a few minutes of laughing, talking and calming down, Rin checked her watch. She stood happilly, the lace on her dress floating around her.

"Hmm, seem's I have to go. My boyfriend Jaken is waiting for me back at the house. Oh look, it seems that this is the time when Sesshin has his daily rest time." She smiled happilly, pulling Kagome's hand and out of the cafe.

"Good luck!" She called, skipping down the road. Kagome smiled at Rin and called back.

"Thank you!"

Sesshoumaru entered his office and closed the door. He swiftly drew the blinds and turned down the lights. He stood in the centre of his office and hung his head, running his fingers through his fringe. Each day was a bore. Droning on, nothing in good, nothing bad. He missed her smile, her undenying work ethic. Every memory he clung to, hoping never to want from her in the future.

Sesshoumaru lay himself down on the couch, flinging his jacket behind him. He unbuttoned his shirt and felt the coolness of his room. He felt himself lull into sleep, awaiting the dreams of better times to dance in his head. A knock at the door startled him, making him shove himself up. He had nothing booked at this time and Kagura knew very clearly not to enter. Before he could speak, the door opened and closed again. He sat silently, listening as footsteps walked slowly across the room to the blinds. The footsteps stopped and the blinds opened.

As soon as his eyes adjusted to the light, he was sure he was dreaming. Kagome smiled with dampened cheeks, the light bouncing off her white

skin.

"This lazy habit has got to go you know."

Kagome walked towards Sesshoumaru, who sat speechless. She sat beside him and stared at her knees. Sessoumaru wanted more than anything to reach out and hold her. He could see her shaking, see the fear and anxiety in her eyes.

"I know.. I know why now." She turned to Sesshoumaru and smiled. "I know why you never smiled."

Sesshoumaru stared at his hands and hung his head. "...Rin?" Kagome nodded as he sighed loudly.

"I knew I shouldn't have.. Kagome, what i'm doing is for the best. You dont have the kind of class that is expected of my significant other; I dont expect you to. It's easier this way, you can find a man who will be able to hold you whenever you want him to, with the blessings of others."

Silence thickened until Kagome said quietly, "It's not easier for me. I'd rather have a million people say no, than to be seperated from you." She bit down on her lip, clearly holding back her tears.

"Why would you want such? Is being by my side such an amazement? There is no happiness in disaproval." Kagome laughed quietly, fiddling her fingers together.

"But there's happiness in being in love." Kagome touched Sesshoumaru's hand, looking closely at him. "And I love you."

Kagome leaned close and kissed him softly. They pulled back, and went in for more with growing intensity. This wasn't how he'd planned it, wasn't how he had expected it to turn out. He wanted to protect her, but both of their pain was too much to bear. Sesshoumaru untied Kagome's hair, letting it flop down to her shoulders. Their eyes met, passion burning between them.

Sesshoumaru slipped his hand onto her soft stomach, slowly raising his hand upwards. He pushed her shirt over her face and kissed her neck tenderly. The heat of her body transfering to his own made the room humid and hot. Kagome unbuttoned his dress shirt and pulled it down his arms, their naked chests pushing together.

It was different from any other person either one of them had ever been with. There was no bed to caress eachother in, there were no fireworks, no romantic impact. But there was one thing; love.

Kagome moaned hessitantly, trying to keep the others from hearing. Just beside them, a collegue worked busilly at their computer, typing away numbers and charts, unaware of the actions taking place in the other office. Kagome bit down on her finger, trying to hold in her noises. Sesshoumaru wasn't making it easy, touching and feeling and pushing and thrusting.

"Nnnn, Sesshoumaru.. pleasee Nnn, what if someone hears?" Kagome tried asking. Sesshoumaru smiled deviously and kissed her forehead.

"Then let them hear."

Kagome laughed. "Then it'll be just like a stereotypical office afair with the ex secretary."

Kouga sat wearilly at the table illuminated by a burnt out candle that was struggling to produce its last wasps of light. He poked at the spaghetti that sat on his place, stone cold from hours ago. He looked up at the clock as the hours slithered bye. The walls of his apartment were dark, the halls were silent. He had waited for hours, but the roses were wilting and dying. Everything was tired and lonesome, having waited for hours.

Kouga reached into his pocket for the millionth time and pulled out the same velvety red box. Holding the same pair of white gold earings they did four hours ago. As Kouga glanced up at the clock for the last time, he threw the earings in the garbage and smashed the roses against the wall. He stood from the table and retreated to his bedroom to sleep.

All that was left were the remains of an uneaten candle light dinner and a small square card that read "I Love You."

uwah, hello everyone ! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I apologize for how slowly ive been updating; Ive decided to update one story at a time, that way I can finish them all eventually ^^ I hope that you will continue to read from me, as I would really appreciate it !

What will happen to Kouga and Kagome? Can Sesshoumaru really accept the disallowance of his peers? Can this "affair" truly last? And what of Kagome's constant coughing and pain? Please read the next chapter for all this and more ~ !

Please Review && Favorite everyone ! Thank you!