Chapter 10 — I've Been Practicing

As soon as Sherlock entered the flat, he realised that John had unexpectedly returned home before him. Walking briskly to the bedroom door, he turned the knob and pushed it open. A naked John popped up, startled, and then flopped back down on the bed. He grinned up at Sherlock. "I've been practicing."

Sherlock arched one eyebrow, and John elaborated. "I've been practicing fingering myself. So that I'll know what it feels like… For when we're ready to try that together."

Sherlock felt suddenly dizzy, as the breath whooshed out of his lungs and all the blood in his body rushed straight to his cock. "You are so hot," he gasped, collapsing on top of his boyfriend.

John chuckled. "I'm glad you think so."

"I think you've fried my brain. My powers of deduction have gone up in smoke. You're going to have to give me details about your little practice session."

John grinned at him. "Do you want show or tell?"

"Oh my god. Show."

John giggled at his response.

Sherlock kissed him fiercely, sucking on his lower lip. Pulling away, he purred, "I think someone offered to put on a show for me."

"Well, you're not going to be able to see much from that angle."

Sherlock laughed, rolling off of his boyfriend and coming to rest on his side. "I love how uninhibited you are."

"Well," John admitted, "I did have a split second of self-doubt, thinking What the fuck am I doing? There's no way on earth I can do that in front of him! But then I pictured your reaction when I told you I'd been practicing… And I knew you were going to be too turned on to judge me," he ended, with a significant look at Sherlock's very obvious erection.

"No judging," Sherlock agreed brokenly. "Too hot."

"Sweetheart, you can't even form a complete sentence. That's so cute."

"Less talk. More fingering."

"Ooh, you're so demanding," John said, reaching up to pull Sherlock in for a kiss. "Okay, get comfortable. The show's about to begin."

Sherlock watched intently as John flipped open the bottle of lube and squeezed some out onto his first two fingers. He rubbed them together, using his thumb to spread the lube all the way down. Drawing his knees up toward his chest, John reached down between his legs.

Sherlock shifted, trying to get a better view, but John grabbed at him with his free hand. "Stay here, or you're going to make me too self-conscious."

Sherlock leaned down and kissed him, cupping John's face in his hand. "I can't believe how hot this is."

John smiled, letting out a breath as he pushed one finger inside. "Oh my god," Sherlock groaned. "What does it feel like?"

"Like I'm giving myself a rectal exam."

Sherlock nipped at his neck. "Come on. Tell me. Does it hurt?"

"No. It's kind of a stretch if I use two, but it doesn't actually hurt, except for a little bit of a twinge when I pull them back out."

"Do you like it?"

"Um, it's kind of hard to tell. I can't reach very well, and the angle is awkward, so it just feels sort of weird. But I figure if I keep trying it'll get better."

Sherlock kissed his boyfriend deeply before pulling back to ask, "Would you like some help with that?"

John's eyes darkened, and he grabbed Sherlock by the back of the neck to pull him in for another kiss. "Okay."

John pulled his fingers free, hissing a little as he did so. Sherlock handed him a tissue.

"Thanks," John said, cleaning his fingers and tossing the tissue into the bin. "Do you have the lube?"

Sherlock held it up. He gave John another kiss before saying, "If you don't want me to have the same problem with the awkward angle that you did, you're going to have to let me scoot down."

"Okay. One more kiss first."

Sherlock gave him one more kiss, and then another, for good measure.

Moving down between John's legs, Sherlock felt suddenly nervous. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. Your fingers aren't as thick as mine."

"Yeah, but they're longer."

"That doesn't matter. Just use plenty of lube, and go slow. I'll tell you if I need you to stop."

Sherlock slicked up his fingers, then reached for John with his other hand. John twined their fingers together, giving Sherlock's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry," he said. "I trust you."

Sherlock placed the tip of his index finger on John's pucker, unsure how to begin. "There's no opening."

John laughed. "Just push in gently. I'll open up around you."

Sherlock did as he was told, watching in fascination as his finger began to disappear into his boyfriend. A tiny way in, though, he met with resistance. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah. Just keep going. I'll tell you if I want you to stop."

John let out a slow breath, willing himself to relax, and Sherlock pushed past the tight ring of muscle.

"Wow – that is way better than when I did it."

Sherlock grinned at him. "What should I do now?"

"Just give me a second to get used to it."

Sherlock waited, feeling John's muscles clenching around him, pulling his finger in more deeply. Soon the tightness surrounding him began to ease, and John said, "Okay, pull out slowly, and then try again with two."

As Sherlock carefully drew his finger out, he could feel John clamping down, as if unwilling to let him go. Once his finger had slipped free, Sherlock squeezed his boyfriend's hand. "Are you sure you want me to try two? It doesn't seem like they'll fit."

"They will. Just maybe use more lube."

Sherlock applied more of the slippery gel, dripping some onto John as well. John jerked in surprise. "That's cold!"

"Sorry. I wanted to make sure I was using enough."

Sherlock placed his first two fingers at John's now-shiny entrance. It really didn't seem possible that they could both fit through that tiny opening. Taking a deep breath, he began to push, wiggling his fingers until he finally worked them inside.

John let out a gasp, and Sherlock immediately stilled. "Did I hurt you?"

"No… No… It feels good… Just intense."

Once he felt John's muscles begin to relax, Sherlock asked, "Is it okay if I move around a little?"

"Yeah. Just go slowly."

Sherlock slid his fingers partway out, then back in. Feeling how tight John was, he said, "I'm not trying to brag, or anything, but my cock is way bigger than two fingers. There's no way it's ever going to fit in here."

John let out a snort of laughter, causing his muscles to clench around Sherlock's fingers. "It's gotta be possible. People do it all the time. You just need to stretch me out a little first."

"Stretch you out a little? There's barely room for me to move my fingers in here."

"Just try to spread them apart a bit," John suggested. Then, at Sherlock's worried look, he added, "You're not going to hurt me."

Sherlock scissored his fingers apart and together, rotating his wrist to get an even stretch in all directions. After a few minutes, John said, "Okay, now try three."

Sherlock gave him a skeptical look.

"Just hold your fingers apart as you start to pull out, and slip the third one in between them."

Releasing John's hand, Sherlock once more grabbed the bottle of lube, applying a generous amount. Taking his boyfriend's hand again, he asked, "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah."

Sherlock lifted his index finger up and pushed his middle finger down as he slowly drew them out, holding John open and creating a space into which he slid his ring finger. John's grip on his hand tightened, and he panted out, "Hold on."

Sherlock froze. "Do you want me to pull back out?"

"No. I'm okay. Just wait a sec."

John's muscles were clenching rhythmically around Sherlock's fingers, crushing them uncomfortably together. He was not about to complain, though. He looked up worriedly at his boyfriend, whose eyes were squeezed shut. "John, I'm really afraid that I'm hurting you."

"No, I'm okay. I just need to relax enough that you can get your knuckles in. I'm going to take a deep breath, and when I let it out, just go for it."

"My knuckles are a lot wider than three fingertips tucked together."

"I know, but it'll be fine."

Seeing the doubt in Sherlock's eyes, John added, "Just trust me, okay? I've studied anatomy — I'm a doctor, remember?"

Sherlock gritted his teeth, steeling himself to do what his boyfriend was asking. "Okay," he said.

John drew in a deep breath, and as he began to let it out Sherlock pushed firmly against the ring of muscle that was constricting his fingers. It felt impenetrable, but Sherlock increased the pressure until he felt something give, and his fingers slid through.

John let out a loud groan. Sherlock felt himself panicking. Tears sprang to his eyes as he clutched at John's fingers. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! John, are you okay?"

Hearing the desperation in his boyfriend's voice, John opened his eyes and forced himself to speak as steadily as he could. "It's okay. I'm okay. Just don't move for a minute."

Sherlock nodded helplessly. "Oh god. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Sherlock, sweetheart, calm down. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me. It's just a really intense stretch. But I swear it's okay. Please don't freak out while you've got your fingers in my arse."

Sherlock huffed out a shaky laugh. "Okay. Not freaking out. Not freaking out."

John gave Sherlock's hand a reassuring squeeze as both men's breathing gradually returned to normal. "Okay," John said at last. "I think you can move around a little now."

Sherlock tentatively slid his fingers the slightest bit in and out. His fingertips had a little wiggle room, but his knuckles felt like they were being held in a vice. Gradually, though, John's muscles loosened up, and Sherlock was able to move more easily.

John released a sigh. "That's actually starting to feel kind of good."

"Really?"

"Would I lie to someone who has his fingers in my arse?"