fyi: smutty :D

There was a certain kind of quiet Levi had found, briefly here and there during the years, where the constant turning cogs of scheme, kill, survive, mourn ground to a sudden halt.

He remembered once, after a particularly successful mission, where the bonfires in the Corps courtyard were lit as a celebration instead of funeral pyres. There had been a moment there in the back with Erwin, watching the rest of the soldiers in their revelry, where he'd felt at peace enough to simply enjoy the noise and rabble for what it was— life.

Those moments were so fleeting. At times, Levi swore they were nothing more than fragments of half-remembered dreams.

It was like that now, like he dreamed fisting the front of Erwin's shirt between his fingers and hauling him down for a kiss. One kiss had turned into two, into three… into Erwin's hands on his shoulders and Erwin's tongue licking into his mouth.

Only the burn of embarrassment on the back of Levi's neck seemed to remind him that, no, he was wide-awake. And no, the earth was not going to suddenly open up and swallow him whole. But yes, Erwin's lips were warm and it was funny the way they were both trying to crush their mouths together while also trying to move as little as possible. Like the moment would burst if not handled properly.

And underneath it all, there was that swell of oft unattainable, quiet contentment.

Life, just being what it was.

When the air in their lungs was spent, they leaned away from each other. Turning his head, Levi wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve for the third or forth time since they'd started. It was a wonder how anything so objectively disgusting felt so much like pleasure when it was with Erwin.

Erwin looked pleased with himself. "How's that for practice?"

"You're unbelievable," Levi managed, raking in a breath. Erwin's hands were still cupping his upper arms. "All those nights doing reports, and we could have been doing that."

"Wouldn't have been right. Not then. Not during—"

"I know," Levi tried to snap, but it came out more tired than annoyed. "But to think we both had to kick the bucket and end up here to realize…"

They were both silent then, and over Erwin's shoulder, Levi saw the fire had nearly burnt out.

Erwin's hands slipped away as he turned to follow Levi's gaze. "Ah," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "I wanted to have that finished by the time you returned."

Levi's eyebrows jumped. "Breakfast?"

"I was off to check the traps before you interrupted me. How long has it been since you've had fresh rabbit?"

Levi swallowed. He still felt hot, flushed, mouth sore and stinging. He either wanted to grab hold of Erwin again or throw something. He couldn't decide which. "A while," he answered curtly. "Do you want me to put that back or something?" He added, gesturing down at the medical satchel.

"I've got it." Erwin bent to gather up the supplies.

Levi grunted, unable to hold any kind of eye contact. It was only after the other man turned his back, heading toward his saddlebags, that Levi sneaked a glance. He wasn't particularly… enthusiastic about physical affection, but simply watching the other man bustle about made Levi want to sink his hands right down into him.

Such thoughts, possessive in nature, were usually accompanied by indignation— anger— at some objectively stupid decision Erwin had made. Possession had made Levi want to break the man's damn legs. But this time, there was distinct unhurried nature in the way he imagined finally pinning Erwin down under the weight of just how much he drove him crazy.

"Shit…"

"Hm?" Erwin was tucking a hunting knife into his belt as he returned. "Did you say something?"

"It's nothing," Levi frowned. Thoughtful concern was evident in the plant of other man's hip. He clearly wasn't buying it. "It…" Levi fished about, "the cut hurts." He motioned flippantly with a hand to his side. It wasn't a lie, not terribly. It did twinge a bit.

"Well, I was going to invite you along, but perhaps you should take it easy. If you took a hard spill you're going to be awfully sore."

Levi shrugged up one shoulder. "I've had worse and pushed myself harder."

"No reason to anymore though, is there?"

"Suppose not." Turning his back, Levi waved over his shoulder, "You go ahead." He busied himself with carefully picking up the discarded flight box, taking his time so that when he stood back up, Erwin was already gone.

Levi let out a shaky sigh, walking the dented canisters back to the shed. With careful movements, he laid the gear down under the Wings upon the wall, peeling the rest of the leather straps from his body.

It has been a good flight… until it hadn't. Despite the aborted landing, the feeling of flying had been an itch Levi had needed to scratch. Perhaps only to remind himself that even here, in this strange world where his skills no longer made him the target of misplaced— or not— hope, that he could still touch the sky.

Head bowed, he gave the gear, like the remains of a comrade, a proper salute.

Outside, the air drew crisp in his lungs, and birds chittered in the tall redwoods. Levi stoked the fire, throwing on another couple of split logs from the stack. It would settle into a nice bed of embers for Erwin's rabbits— if he'd caught any. Well, it wasn't really a question of if. Erwin had a knack for small game traps. A skill he'd learned a kid from his books; Erwin told them the story during one early mission, as their squad split game meat for dinner. Levi recalled having teased the other man for being an insufferable know-it-all. It had been one of the first times he'd heard Erwin's good-natured laughter; one of the first times Levi could remember having considered Erwin a friend rather than a big, blonde roadblock.

And rabbit was delicious… it was true he hadn't had it in a while…

He loosened his cravat, looking at the small log seat by the fire before tilting his head to eye the tent. His nerves still felt a bit frayed, and lying down sounded very, very nice.

Ducking into the tent, he sat back with a groan onto his coarse bedroll, stiff wool blanket cast to the side. He took the time to unbuckle his boots, toes wriggling in his cotton stocking as he lay back with a sigh. Under his back, the ground pressed cool against his shoulder blades. The stillness was of some comfort; it seemed to stop the swirl of thoughts chasing themselves around his brain.

Had there been any doubt that his feelings would be returned?

Why had he kept it to himself for so long?

And—

Now what?

The fall earlier had winded him, sapped Levi of his energy, and the unimaginable high of feeling Erwin's arm against his back, Erwin's mouth on his, had left him empty and lethargic at their retreat. Still, he was glad for the space Erwin was giving him. Levi wasn't the type of person who took sweeping change all that well. And going from bottled-up loyalty and affection to… to whatever they had now, definitely constituted sweeping change.

Levi yawned, unbuttoning the top two buttons on his shirt to ease the way it bunched against his collar.

Maybe when Erwin came back, he thought lazily…

He hadn't noticed he'd been dozing until the sound of someone rustling against the tent flap roused him again. For a moment, he thought their camp was under attack, Titans curling out of mist and memory. He gave a start, twisting up on an elbow, ready to grab for his blades and attack before realizing just who it waslooming outside the canvas.

"Fuck, Erwin," he croaked, heart thumping uncomfortably up into his throat. He swallowed convulsively a few times, as if he could will his heart to stop pounding.

"Ah, sorry," came Erwin voice's from outside, "I didn't mean to startle you."

Levi flopped back down on his back, covering his eyes with a hand. Adrenaline ran jumpy up and down his legs. For a second there he thought they were both dead men. Again.

The tent flap pulled back, and Erwin stuck his head inside. He had the decency to look abashed. "I'd almost forgotten what a light sleeper you are."

Levi snorted softly, rubbing his temples, eyes trained toward the tent ceiling. "You never could sneak out of that office. I was too quick for that."

Erwin hummed. Whichever memory the words had conjured, it was a fond one.

"How was the hunt," Levi asked, letting his hand fall away to his side, still not looking at the other man.

"Fruitful," Erwin quipped with a note of pride as he shuffled a bit, ducking inside and sitting down hard upon his own bedroll, stifling a groan. He rested his arms on his bent knees, feet still sticking out the front of the tent.

Levi knew what that sound meant. All those years zipping around on wires, jerking their bodies body back and forth… "Hurts?"

Erwin pulled his good arm back, tilting his head to the side, trying to stretch the muscle that ran from the base of his neck down his back. "Doesn't seem like our arrival here did anything to lessen the beating we took…"

Levi tilted his head on the ground so he could see him. "You really are getting old..." He hadn't meant for the words to come out with such fondness, but the idea of Erwin being allowed to grow old made the bitterness of his death and the wonderment at this new life coalesce into some tight, choked feeling.

Erwin twisted where he sat, metal arm bracing against the ground. He fixed Levi with a look. "You're not so young yourself, you know."

"I'm still faster than you are," Levi shot back.

"Uh-huh," Erwin agreed, with overly obvious skepticism. For a moment he was quiet, then his head tilted slightly, eyes narrowing in Levi's direction. Not with anger, but with… something else.

"What I said earlier," Erwin started slowly, "that it didn't matter. Our feelings. Back then. That wasn't exactly… not exactly how I meant it."

Levi's eyebrow quirked.

"You made me feel human, Levi." Erwin bent forward to remove his boots, and Levi couldn't look away as he slipped his palm under the heel to pry them off, a firm pressure that shouldn't be so intimate for what it was.

"You were always human."

"A man doesn't send that many people out to die, knowing they'll die, without burying a bit of themself in the process. But you didn't follow me because I was cold, because I would sacrifice everything for the case. Including myself."

Levi eased up on one arm. "No. I followed you because at first I was impressed with you, and then because I trusted you. And then because I could no longer separate where you ended and I began." He wanted to make him understand. "We're of the same whole, you and I, and I followed you because you were the part of me I could love, easily, when I hadn't thought I could."

Erwin hummed. "Quite poetic"

"One of my many talents, surely." Levi whirled his tongue against the back of his teeth, weighing his next words. "And I get it, you sought me because I made you feel normal, and then it changed, like it did for me."

To his surprise, Erwin gave a short laugh. "Well that may have been part of it, a more identifiable part of it, but Levi," there was a slight coloring at the tips of his cheekbones, "I truly just… fell in love with you. "

The other man's gaze sparked a surging warmth, fast in the way it filled Levi up and left him lightheaded. He had to try very hard to keep still, there on his back, uncustomarily exposed, without bolting from the tent.

He swallowed, finding it a bit difficult to keep eye contact. "Yeah?"

"With all the honesty I possess."

Something light and sweet jumped in his stomach. "Now who the one being sickeningly poetic?"

Erwin paused then, half turned around towards him, uncertainty tightening in his shoulders and his gaze cast down. On a desire to— even after all this time— make Erwin's tension melt away, to bring him closer, Levi stretched out his fingers from where his arm was upon the ground. Erwin was just out of reach there across the small space; his hand curled around nothing but air.

It was the smallest of beckoning gestures, but it did the trick to shake Erwin from his hesitation. He moved closer.

Levi screwed his eyes shut, easing back down onto the blanket. If he watched, he'd surely loose his nerve. In the back of his mind, the thought of a man such as he— who'd stared down death more times than he could count— feeling jumpy at the mere thought of whatever he was about to let happen… it was near laughable.

Erwin's voice came from somewhere above him. "You don't look very comfortable."

Levi realized his hands, frozen down by his sides, had curled into fists. He willed himself to relax, and opened one eye to squint up at the man hovering above him. Erwin was braced with his prototype arm near Levi's head, his other hand hesitating in the air.

Levi blinked both his eyes open, and with a slight, tight jerk of his chin, he allowed for Erwin's hesitant hand to reach down and lay flat against Levi's sternum and the undone buttons at the top of the shirt. The stone of Erwin's tie pressed into Levi's collarbone.

The closeness, the contact, felt right.

"I'm still surprised you kept this…" Erwin whispered, a finger slipping down under the fabric to hook around the tie's string, pulling it from it's hiding place. The slight, soft touch sent warmth sliding down into the pit of Levi's stomach.

Levi frowned. "How else was I supposed to re—" The words got stuck halfway out, making him choke. "Remember."

Erwin's gaze flickered up. He looked appreciative, and maybe a little bit sad. "That was kind of you."

"It was a reminder. Of what I promised. It kept me going. " Tentatively, he laid his fingers over Erwin's and tugged, gently. The other man's hand abandoned its place on Levi's chest, twisting to grip at Levi's wrist. Levi watched as Erwin guided his arm slowly up and back against the ground by his head, the movement pulling Erwin's body further over him. Levi could feel the other man's knee bump against the side of his thigh. His free hand clenched tight again.

"Do you want to stop?" Erwin was so close now his chest stirred the front of Levi's shirt.

It took a moment for Levi to collect himself enough to utter, "No." Erwin looked disbelieving. "I'm just not use to… this. Any of… whatever you're doing." Erwin chuckled, and Levi could feel the reverberations of it down into his toes. The muscles in his legs tensed. "It's not… terrible," he admitted, trying to look anywhere but at the other man's face, inches from his own.

Erwin's smile flashed teeth. "'Not terrible'. Hmm, well, that's something, I suppose."

"Jackass," Levi mumbled, but the hissing insult faltered on his tongue as Erwin dipped his head down, laying a warm kiss against the soft skin of Levi's neck, like he was saying thank you. The feeling was almost bearable until it was replaced with the shocking nip of teeth.

Levi let out a gritted sound; surprise and pleasure both trying to escape at once. It was so uncomfortable to have your body respond almost of it's own will. And yet, he'd given his body to Erwin years ago, hadn't he? He'd allowed Erwin to use him for humanity's survival. If he could trust the man in war, he could trust the man in this. Levi took a deep breath in and out again, trying to adjust. He could feel Erwin's smile against his skin.

"I wanted to ask you," Erwin's voice was right near his ear, and the vibration made Levi shiver. "If we ride tomorrow, early, we can reach the coast by evening. Would you go with me?"

"Yes." The word was a sigh.

Erwin shifted, moving his left leg up and over, so he was straddling Levi's legs. He was careful enough to keep his weight on his knees, not really touching. Erwin's hand left Levi's wrist to travel down, finding the hem of the other man's shirt and snaking its way underneath.

The light skittering of fingertips on his stomach made Levi twitch away from the touch, but Erwin's legs had him trapped. His eyes fluttered closed. "Fuck"

That must have been the correct response. Erwin's hand closed tight around the spot just above the swell of Levi's hip— just above the waistband of Levi's trousers— and froze there.

Erwin shifted, pressing their foreheads together. "You're tense."

"Yeah, well," Levi's throat was dry, "I've thought about this too much for you to stop now."

"You have?" Erwin pulled back to look at him.

Levi nodded, tilting his chin up and catching Erwin's gaze, like he were daring Erwin to tease him. He didn't. There was a flush to Erwin's skin, the amalgamation of embarrassment and arousal. A mess. Levi figured he probably looked the same. He hadn't noticed he was breathing so hard himself until he recognized it in the man above him.

Heat and frustration coiled together, tight and hot.

"If you don't hurry up and do something," Levi said though gritted teeth, but he didn't get a chance to finish as Erwin dipped to kiss him. The hand that had stilled at his side moved, catching on a sensitive spot just below Levi's stomach as it traversed down toward his trousers' front button. At the strange, pulsing jolt the touch created, Levi's hips arced up, pressing against the juncture of the other man's thighs. Into his mouth, Erwin groaned, and Levi had to grip Erwin's braced arms to keep himself from doing it again.

His mind was buzzing, but Levi couldn't string along two words well enough to think anything substantial. He mimicked Erwin's open-mouthed kiss, pressing back, and felt Erwin fumble with the button.

After an agonizing moment, and with an anxious thrill, Erwin thumbed the fastening open, fingers dancing at the hem of the fabric underneath before slipping down, down, down—

Levi's hips snapped into the sudden, intimate touch; he couldn't help it. It wasn't like he'd never done this to himself, but this… It felt weird, backwards from his own grip, but the warm pressure—

And then Erwin dragged his hand upward.

Levi tore his mouth away with a noise ripped deep from his chest, panting. Erwin smirked, eyes heavy-lidded as his hand moved again. And again. Levi choked on his own moan; jaw clenched against the swell of rich pressure that slowly built. His nails dug into the flesh of Erwin's bicep.

"S-Stop," he finally managed. The other man stilled but didn't pull away. Levi caught his breath. "I'm not going to be able to… to hold on for much longer."

Erwin snorted, tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. He looked remarkably predatory. "You know that's the point…"

Levi glared. "No shi—" He broke off with a hiss. Erwin had flicked his wrist again, pleasure snapping through his body. "I mean," he said more forcefully, voice low and rough, "I'd like to reciprocate, you unbelievably smug bastard."

Erwin flushed. "Oh."

Levi rolled his eyes and tisked, but he was still hot and shivery all over, not to mention pinned under Erwin with the man's hand still down his front, so the effect was considerably diminished. Reaching down, he tugged at Erwin's belt, fumbling for the closure. As he struggled to undo the buckle, it was not lost on him that Erwin was as… affected as he was. With a wicked sense of satisfaction, he pressed the heel of his palm down the yet un-buttoned fly of Erwin's breeches.

Erwin let out a sharp breath, head bowing low enough that his eyes were hidden from view.

Levi smirked as he worked the buckle loose, but his arms weren't exactly long enough to get in any lower once the damn thing was off. Erwin seemed to notice, and he slipped his hand back languidly from where it was pressed against him, fingers taking their time over every single inch. Levi shivered, and Erwin's thumb came away slick as he sat up enough to push down his own breeches.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Levi fixed his eyes to the ceiling as he gripped the waistband of his trousers, arching off the ground in order to wiggle the cloth down his thighs. It all felt so frenzied, their heavy breathing filling up the tiny space like they were drowning in it, and yet, when Levi reminded himself this was really happening, finally, it was all in slow motion.

Without much warning, Erwin was leaning over him again, broad chest rising and falling heavily as he pressed their hips flush. Levi's eyes blew wide, mouth falling open, but no sound came out. His hands fisted the bedroll beneath him.

Erwin's eyes were closed, lips parted, and Levi could feel the heat between them, both of them bare and pressed together. Experimentally, when he finally got himself together, Levi rolled his hips, and the sound that issued from Erwin was delicious. It sent renewed heat flashing to his core. He did it again, this time curling his arm around the back of Erwin's shoulders, urging him on with an ardent sound of delight.

The rhythm wasn't exactly perfect, but they ended up cheek-to-cheek, breathing sharp bursts of warm air in each other's ear, before Erwin reached between and gripped them both.

Levi's head dropped back, bucking up into the touch as the pace quickened.

So close—

He was slick now with sweat, unbuttoned shirt sticking to his skin. It was all so hot, so all consuming, and he was burning, but it felt better than it ever had before; alone. It was because of Erwin. Erwin… he needed him. Not just as a soldier or as a subordinate or as a friend, but as… this.

Erwin's head fell to his shoulder, and there he pressed a kiss to Levi's skin, murmuring, "I do love you. Levi." His grip on them became hurried, erratic—

And there was that familiar swooping feeling, like he was flying, surging up from some deep, coiled place, and Levi's panting came out suddenly sharp and pitched toward a whine. He jerked, muscles flinching tight, and in the ripple of pleasure that tore through him, it felt like he were clinging to Erwin for dear life.

Not a few moments later and Erwin followed after, before Levi even had enough time to regain his senses. He let out a deep, open-mouthed moan against the skin of Levi's neck, freezing for a long moment before all the tension seemed to melt from his body.

Levi couldn't tell if the pounding in his chest was his own heart or Erwin's. His hand found the back of the other man's head, fingers tangling in the blonde hair as the sound of the wind against the tent and the birdcalls came back to them, like the volume had finally been turned up again.

Catching their breath, Erwin leaned up on his arms, eyeing Levi with a satisfied, wrung-out look. "Thought about that a lot, did you?"

Levi was too flushed with pleasure to glare; all he could do was look away with an embarrassed half smile.

"That was…"

"Incredible," Erwin supplied in a breath, swallowing hard.

"I was going to say 'overdue,' but yeah…." Levi closed his eyes, savoring the electric jolts coursing though his arms and legs. Erwin shifted where their bodies met, slick and slightly sticky. Levi's eyes snapped open. "Only… only moderately disgusting."

Erwin laughed out his nose. "I missed your preference for cleanliness."

"Really."

Erwin chuckled, pushing up with his hands, but Levi held him down for a moment longer, tilting up to catch him in a kiss. It was less heated than the ones before, more drawn out and languid, sweeter.

Erwin smiled against his mouth. "You're getting better at that," he mumbled, pushing off to search for something with which to clean them up.

"Ugh." Levi deliberately didn't look when Erwin handed him a small washcloth. "I need a fucking shower," he grumbled, wiping up.

"You'll miss the rabbit."

"Fuck the rabbit," he sighed with little venom, body boneless.

"Well I'm hungry," he heard Erwin say from somewhere near the front of the tent. A hand reached out to trace down the outside of Levi's calf. He shivered. "I prefer it if you joined me…"

Levi sat up slow; drinking in the fond look Erwin was giving him. He licked his lips, warm and raw.

"Of course I will. Erwin."