Chapter 10: It's You That Keeps Me Going!
Sharing the Sadness.
The previous afternoon and evening had proved highly emotional for both of them, each reading and re-reading the letters from Elvis several times over. There'd been tears, hugs and many words of shared comfort, alongside quite a few glasses of brandy, just to help them digest everything Charles had stated. They'd merely picked at their food deciding an early night would be good, Sam was coming tomorrow evening and they would need all their wits about them to tackle the sad news they were about to break to him. The alarm on Molly's phone buzzed at 6:45am, reaching across to shut it off she gingerly opened her eyes in anticipation of the brandy hangover she was expecting to hit her; glad she didn't seem to be suffering any ill effects, she turned over to face Charles. Watching him in what seemed like a peaceful sleep, she moved a little closer until she was nose to nose with him, studying his features, he looked relaxed to her, not tortured from the onslaught of the dreaded nightmares that had occupied his dreams of the first couple of weeks back from Tour. They had both worried that receiving the letters would see the dreams resume, but looking at him now he seemed totally relaxed. Propping herself up on one arm she raised her hand to touch his cheek, "I love you, so much! She whispered, before jumping with shock when he replied through closed eyes, "Ditto! Have you been watching me sleep?" sitting bolt upright her hand over her heart she gasped for air, looking at his smirking face she exclaimed "You sod! You really made me jump!" chuckling, he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder "Aw sorry, come here and let me make it up to you!" the sight of him wriggling his eyebrows suggestively and biting his bottom lip was enough, leaning down and hovering her mouth over his "Oh yeah, what did you have in mind then?" pulling the covers over them and closing the gap between their bodies, he began to show her exactly what he had in mind.
Cuddled together and lightly snoozing Molly's phone sprang into life, registering the time as 8:10 she frowned at who would be disturbing them so early, nudging Charles she announced "It's a text from The 'Ice Queen'" the text from Rebecca read, Change of plan, lunching with my parents, dropping Sam off at midday. R. Molly held the phone up for him, irritated at what he read Charles huffed, "That bloody woman drives me crazy!" Rebecca's actions yet again being the cause of his frustration, he glanced at Molly who looked slightly perplexed, feeling a little sheepish at his reaction he continued, "On a positive note though, it means we get Sam for longer I suppose!" Molly's face relaxed when he pulled her closer and kissed her head, "Sorry for that outburst, forgive me?" looking down at her and giving her his famous puppy dog eyes, she nodded "Its Ok, she pisses me off as well! " They hugged as if in silent confirmation that the next few days could get tricky, especially trying to gage how to tell a 10-year-old Sam will react to his Uncle Elvis being killed. "You thought anymore about how to tell Sam?" He shook his head "I'm struggling to think of where to start really, got any suggestions?" Molly paused before moving to straddle him, she held his face in her hands before saying, "As long as you don't forget how smart he is, it'll all be ok. What about telling you feel sad and need one of his special hugs! When he asks why say you've got some really sad news to tell him!" Nodding at her, Charles looked as if a plan was formulating in his brain, he kissed her nose "Yep, that would work, I'll give it a try! I've just got to find out first what's going on with him at the moment!"
They busied themselves with preparing breakfast then set about checking the contents of the fridge and freezer for tonight's meal, they wanted dinner to be one of Sam's favourites, and letting him choose from sausage and mash, cottage pie or pizza would make him feel he was being listened to. Shortly before midday the doorbell rang, "Who's answering it? you or me?" Molly asked, Charles sprang to his feet, "I'll do it, then I can give her one of my not impressed faces, I'll even tell her we're out on Sunday and to collect him at bedtime, just to piss her off!" He grinned. Sam launched himself at his Dad as soon as the door was open, Charles laughed and high fived him "Hey, nice greeting, you missed you're old Dad then?" cocking an eyebrow at his son, Sam smiled while he walked backwards towards the kitchen to see Molly, "Yeah Dad, you know I have!" he answered, with a slight cockiness. Rebecca stood on the doorstep waiting to exchange pleasantries; Charles was having none of her two-faced nonsense, he merely looked at her with a stern face, picked up Sam's bag and said "We're out on Sunday, you can collect him around 8ish, ok!" Remembering that look of old, she huffed and walked away, Charles closed the door behind him and smiled, one nil to me, I think!
When Charles walked into the kitchen he found Sam and Molly's laughing together, he smiled knowing how much Sam loved her, "Oh, its like that is it? Molly gets to share all the jokes and I just get a high five!" Sam chuckled, checking to see if he was serious "Noo… we were laughing that I'm nearly as tall as her now!" moving across to ruffle his hair he was surprised when Sam pulled away "Daad…I've got gel on my hair, you'll spoil it!" Molly giggled, as Charles seemed lost for words, "Err…Sorry buddy, maybe you can talk me through all these new rules of yours!" Sam exclaimed "I'm nearly Eleven, I'm not a baby anymore!" Charles nodded, and grinned at him "No you're not, but I'm still you're Dad and I hope that growing up won't stop you giving me a hug when I need one!" Sam replied, "Its ok Dad, hugs are still included!" Thinking this was going ok, Charles made a suggestion, "Right Sam, have you chosen what's for dinner? Sausage and mash Molly interrupted, "Well, lets give Molly a chance to get things started while we go and unpack your things, we can have a Dad and son chat about these rules while we're doing it!" Charles winked at Molly, as she mouthed good luck.
Charles carried Sam's small case for him whilst Sam had his Play Station and a few hand held electronic games, opening the case he handed him underwear and socks to go in the drawers, pyjamas for under his pillow and clothes to hang in the wardrobe, Sam took his wash bag into the en-suite while Charles placed his shoes under the bed. They chatted happily about school, how rugby was going and what he'd been doing in half-term, Sam turned to his Dad and said, "Were you upset Dad? You know about the hair gel? I still love being here with you and Molly!" Charles just grinned at him "Of course not, I understand you're growing up Sam but its hard for your old Dad, I've always called you Scamp and now you don't want me too, I've always been Daddy and now I'm just Dad, you wear hair gel and I wonder where my little boy went?" Sam looked down, then back up to Charles "I…still love you Dad, but I'm not a baby anymore! I'll be eleven in two months and Mum says I've got to start acting more grown up" Charles sighed, feeling irritated again, there it was, bloody Rebecca imposing how she thinks he should act; she's confused him, too many unrealistic expectations placed on him, typical of her and her family. Charles already knew, that neither he or Molly would put Sam under any pressure to grow up too quickly; he can be the kid he is with us. Deciding now wasn't the right time to talk to him about Elvis he simply held his arms wide for Sam to get a Dad sized hug, walking into his arms Sam wrapped his arms around him, and looked up as Charles said "You'll never be too old to get a hug from your Dad, I'll always be here, whenever you need it, ok?" Sam nodded "OK! With a lump in his throat Charles kissed the top of his head and held on tight "Love you Scamp! Come down when you're ready, ok?" This time Sam didn't correct him as he hugged him back.
Charles took over cooking the sausages with onion gravy, regaling to Molly the conversation he had with Sam upstairs, also telling her that now he understood better why Sam was seeming to change so fast he would tackle the Elvis news tomorrow; for now he was happy to just eat dinner with his family and have a fun evening. Feeling a little relieved at what Charles had discovered, she moved towards where he stood at the hob, wrapping her arms around him she cocked her head to one side, she spoke "I've got an idea!" winking as she left the room, quickly returning with her arms full of Sam's favourite board games, "So game night it is then!" He kissed her cheek as he said "My brilliant wife!" Molly called out to Sam "Scamp, dinner, don't forget to wash your hands" Happy that for the moment things had returned back to normal in the James house, the three of them enjoyed dinner and the board games, Charles happily watching his son and wife as they cheated their way through the evening, for now he's still my little boy he thought.
After his chat with Sam, Charles felt the lines of communication were well and truly open; now to tackle the tricky bit.
Running it by Molly first, Charles suggested that some Dad and Son bonding might be a plan? Maybe a trip to the park, even take a rugby ball; so Sam can practice his catching, "Good idea?" He asked,Molly agreed, saying, "Letting him run a bit of energy off is always a good idea where kids are concerned; I should know, its how I handle all the little bleeders!" She laughed. Trusting Charles would do and say the right things, she waived them both off at the door, calling out "Lunch for 12.30, ok? Text me when you're on your way back."
Charles and Sam made their way over to the area where local junior teams played various ball games, placing their coats on the ground they began to slowly pitch the rugby ball to each other to warm up their muscles, as an old hand at rugby Charles started throwing it harder; even placing spin on the throw. He was impressed at Sam's co-ordination and decided to offer coaching advice on how to make successful dives and demonstrated how to weave in and out of other players. Both puffed out they sat on the grass to take breather, Charles rested his arm around Sam's shoulders saying, "I'm impressed Sam, You've got some pretty good moves there!" Sam smiled at him, "I wanted you to be proud of me Dad! And…want to win as many trophy's as you!" Charles swallowed hard, maybe Elvis was right; in Sam's eyes I am his hero he thought, deciding the time was right; he would start to tell him.
During his and Molly's emotional afternoon and evening, she had even commented that Elvis had helped him and he should take inspiration from his own letter before explaining things to Sam, Slowly and deliberately he began, "Do you remember when you were little Sam, and I would go away on tour, leaving you for months on end?'
Sam interrupted, "I remember I was sad you were going away! I cried all the time for you!"
Charles' Adam's apple moved rapidly as he swallowed back his emotions, "Well, before any soldier goes away and is kept apart from the people they love most in the world, the Army asks them to write a letter; it's in case they don't come back! The Army call it a letter from the grave!"
Sam challenged "But the people the soldiers love only get the letter if they die, don't they Dad?"
Charles nodded at him ruffling his hair, smiling softly at how he was making sense of it all.
"You're right! It's only sent if someone dies! But Sam, something has happened that's made me really sad lately!" Sam looked into his Dad's eyes to see tears forming, his soft voice asking "Did somebody you know Die Daddy?" His words causing a shudder to go through his entire body, he nodded his head, "Yeah!….Yeah they did Scamp! And it's also someone you know too, someone close to you; someone you love Sam!" He stuttered, waiting to hear his son's response and distracting himself by pulling at several blades of grass. "Someone in the Army?" Sam queried, thinking to himself who else he knew in the Army? his Dad was by his side and Molly's at home he thought, then the penny dropped. Charles squeezed his shoulder as if to send a message to his son, without actually mentioning Elvis' name. Through trembling lips and not really wanting to say the words, Sam spoke "It's…. not my Uncle Elvis is it Dad?" Sam's eyes filled with tears, hoping it wasn't true; gripping Charles' arm he asked "Dad? Is it him?" Charles swooped him into his arms, engulfing him in his embrace, tucking Sam's head under his chin he rested his cheek on top of his head; whispering through his own tears "I'm sorry Scamp! So, so, very sorry!" Sam buried his head into his Dad's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Charles heart broke a little more seeing how much Sam was affected by the sad news, composing himself slightly he managed to tell him "He loved you so much Sam, always calling you his special little mate, remember? And to let you know just how special you were to him; Uncle Elvis sent one of those letters to you too!" Charles paused to let his words sink in before saying, "I've got his letter with me do you want me to read it to you now? Or shall we make tracks and I'll read it with you later?" Sam whispered "Later Daddy please, at bedtime." He spoke as he held his son "whatever you want to do is fine, ok?" Sam just nodded, his voice quivering from crying, "Can we go back and see Molly now?" Moving him gently from his embrace, he smoothed his thumbs over Sam's tearstained face, "I'll just text Molly to let her know we're heading back!" They walked back to the house slowly and silently, Charles keeping his arm firmly around his sons shoulder.
Arriving back at the house, Charles knelt down in front of Sam, "I wanted to tell you that Molly and I both have letters from Uncle Elvis too, so she knows everything and when you're ready; only when you are ready, we'll both be here if you've got any questions, Ok!" Sam nodded. Watching for them to come back, Molly rushed to open the front door, eyes wide with anticipation as to how her boys were. Their faces told her what she needed to know, as the sadness they were wearing had swept into the hallway, she opened her arms towards Sam, not knowing if he would accept her hug; she relaxed when he fell into her arms and sobbed against her. 'It's gonna get better scamp I promise, Daddy and I are both here for you; we're all going through it together, ok?" Sam nodded, unable to formulate his words. Trying to distract him Charles asked, "Are you hungry scamp? Fancy checking what Molly's sorted out for lunch?" Sam replied in a quiet voice "Ok, What is it Molly?" reaching for his hand Molly whispered in his ear "That's where you come in Sam, or is it Scamp again? The pizza bases are waiting to be topped with whatever you fancy! All that's left is to pop them in the oven!" Charles stood in the middle of his two favourite people and pulled them into a hug, "right then" rubbing his hands together "lets get started building these bad boys!" Later in the evening Molly and Charles were sat on the sofa with Sam lying across the both of them watching a film, Sam's hadn't said very much about Elvis, his eyes now starting to droop, probably due to the emotional afternoon he'd had, Charles rubbed Sam's head suggesting it may be time for bed. Sam put up no objection, but turned to Charles and spoke "Don't forget my letter Daddy." Molly raised her eyes and mouthed to Charles, Daddy? He looked back to her smiling, then whispering "I'm Daddy again, don't knock it I say!" Sam and Charles headed up the stairs; after Sam had brushed his teeth he emerged from the bathroom to change into his pyjamas, but before slipping into bed he rummaged in his toy box pulling out an Action Man figure; Charles asked, "What's that you've got?" Sam relied, "Its Uncle Elvis!" kneeling beside him, Charles stroked his curls and pulled out the letter, Sam placed a hand on his Dad's cheek saying "Tomorrow Daddy! Lets all read it tomorrow! I'm...I'm not ready yet!" Charles nodded and stayed beside his bed, until he fell asleep; then silently tip-toed towards the door, glancing back he whispered, "Sleep tight Scamp! You've been great about this!"
Entering his and Molly's bedroom, he undressed and spooned against his wife, Molly asked, "Everything ok?" Snuggling closer, Charles responded, "Yep, He's a great kid you know!" Molly simply answered, "I know that! Takes after his Dad!" They both sighed, letting sleep overtake them.
To Be Continued!