Part Ten

A/N: To everyone: thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love you all! I realize that this chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but it serves a very important role: to explain the many complex feelings that Fainne will be dealing with for most of the rest of the story. I'm trying to make her as real as I possibly can so I can avoid any straying into Mary-Sue-dom. Please tell me what you think of this!

And now, our regularly scheduled program…

Part Ten

My head reels with so many confusing thoughts. The last thing I clearly recall is being told that I am being taken to Ciaran O'Turlach. For what reason I have no inkling. What have I done to deserve this? I only recognize that name because it marks him as a kinsman. My head feels as though it shall explode if I think in this any longer.

"Get moving, wench," my captor barks while giving me a swift kick in the side.

A cry escapes my lips while my stomach threatens to rebel against this cruel torment. This is worrisome to me because battle wounds and the like have no affect on me. In my state of worry, the guard has found it a nice time to bind me with chains and shackles. I struggle to stand with these new impediments, and I am laughed at by the warriors.

My captor gives a sharp tug on the chain and I am pulled forward. I stumble causing more laughter. Goddess, why must they torment me so?

As our journey progresses, I lose count of the days that pass. My cuffs bite deep, leaving angry marks that bleed and chafe terribly. More than once I have retched on the side of the path; for reasons that still haunt me. There is little comfort in hearing my native tongue spoken around me. I could find more comfort in the predatory growl of a wolf.

One blessed day, the march is halted for a rest. My chains are secured by a stake in the ground, forbidding me to go anywhere. It would do me no good to try and escape. I have no idea of where I am.

A warrior gruffly tosses a hunk of stale bread at me. "Eat; Ciaran wants you alive."

Harsh retorts jump to my lips nut I keep them silent. It would do me no good to voice them. Curling into Dagonet's cloak, which they have not taken away from me, I try to hide from the biting cold. Unsure whether to scream or cry, my thoughts begin to drift; I wonder if Lucan is being cared for? Has Dagonet returned from his mission with Arthur? Salty tears slide down my cheeks while I think of the family that I have been torn away from.

"Remember, I will still be here As long as you hold me In your memory Remember me…" (Josh Groban-"Remember")

"Shut your trap," a guard snaps. I had not realized that I had been singing.

Sitting here on this frozen patch of dirt, I have time to think; too much time to be honest. My mind runs away with wild ideas and creates horrid situations that I fear to be reality. But perhaps I can use this time to think logically, keep my mind keen. So, I decide to figure out what is the matter with me. Travel never bothered me, and why should the abuse that these men give have this effect? I try to recall further. I have not eaten anything that should cause my stomach upset, so what…?

Oh Mother no.

Things have just gotten worse. They can even get worse after this, of this I am sure.

Why, in the middle of no where, with no chance of escape, why must I realize now of all times that I am with child? How does this make any sense? I count the days back from when I last had my moon blood. It should be now, but it has not come. If these people find out, Goddess knows what they may do. Every moment of the rest of this journey, I run the risk of harming the growing child, Dagonet's child, our child. I will not cast the child out; I could never do such a thing. I am a healer, I protect life, not destroy it.

I dissolve into tears of self pity which earn me a few lashes across my back. Warm blood flows freely from the open wounds, staining the tattered dress. My own countrymen have turned into brutal strangers. Where are the Celts that hold things like music and peace dear in their hearts? Have they all fallen into memory? I have become weak in the face of adversity. My mother would be ashamed if she could see me now. Her spirit must watch me now from Tir na nOg, hiding her face in shame to have such a weak daughter.

A glimmer of a resolution begins to form in my mind, growing ever stronger the more I think on it. If I am to survive this and protect my child, I must be strong. I shall honor my ancestors by standing tall and facing my fears. What kind of wife would I be to a Knight if I cowered at every little bit of violence? I may not be the strongest woman in the land, but I can still try my best. Hope has now found a place in my heart again.

"Come along now, wench," my guard says while taking the stake out of the ground. "Almost there, just a few more leagues."

No wonder we were allowed that precious rest. We are nearing our destination. As the day progresses the landscape changes, signaling that we are nearing a new section on land, possibly a shore. Reaching the suggested shore, the sounds of intense battle reach my ears.

Wait, Arthur and the Knights were going to the Western shore because of Celtic raiders. This battle must have served as a distraction so the others could attack the Wall to find me. But, what does that make me; a hostage or a prisoner of war? Surely they do not know my involvement with the Knights? How could they, for I am one of the very few Celts who reside in Britain. Why must everything be so unclear? I just want to go home and safely give birth to my child in a few moons time.

The group of Celtic raiders that I am with makes their entrance behind the lines of battle. Gazing across the open field, I see the Knights slaughtering my countrymen. I feel nothing as I watch this. I no longer know my own people; they are savage strangers, the people the Romans believed them to be.

Struggling against my bonds, I try a desperate attempt at escape. Three of the raiders leap at me, holding me back. This does not stop my resolve to be reunited with my family. "DAGONET!" My cry tears across the battlefield. Everything seems to stop as everyone observes a captive woman struggling to escape.

Blows rain down on my body as I scream again, "DAGONET!" These men try desperately to silence me with their abuse. I curl into a defensive ball to protect the child within me.

"FAINNE!"

I hear Dagonet's cry across the distance. I glance upward to see him rushing forward, a look of sheer determination on his face. The other Knightsfollow, for they too love me as a sister. The cut anything down that stands in their path.

"Get her on the ship," someone orders. "MOVE OUT!"

Four men tug at my chains as I struggle like a wild thing. I ignore the fresh wounds that I gain on my wrists and ankles. I am no longer aware of what I do while I struggle. Eventually, the four men overwhelm me with varying degrees of physical abuse. My body aches and I bleed furiously. Goddess curse them.

"Dagonet…" I whisper as I take a long last look at him. I fear that I may never see him again.

The raiders have withdrawn onto the ship. Arthur and the Knights stand helplessly on the shore, cursing their situation. Out of anger, Dagonet lets a dagger fly through the air which sinks deep into the side of the ship. Unceremoniously, I am thrown into the filthy hold. I have no idea of where I am being taken, but I have an idea. Wrapping Dagonet's cloak around me, I cry silent tears as I fall into a fitful slumber.