Prologue
Once upon a time, a long time ago (well, actually just this morning…), Lady Jarine was stuck with a difficult puzzle to solve. How in the world was she going to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione back to their own place and time without leaving gaping, mind-numbing plotholes and unanswered questions for all the readers? Lady Jarine thought. And she thought. And then she thought some more. It may have seemed like she just read fanfiction and played on HogwartsLive, but I assure you, underneath her seemingly careless exterior, she was, indeed, thinking.
And then she remembered, "Hey, wait a minute, this is The Random Story of Randomness! Who the heckness cares if I leave gaping, mind-numbing plotholes and unanswered questions for all the readers?"
And thus, chapter ten (double digits!) of RSoR was born (spawned, whatever).
Oh, and also, I don't own anything that's worth owning. Except all that stuff that I own that I really like. But I don't own all the really cool stuff, stuff I could actually make money from.
Chapter Ten
Defining Our Childhood and Create Lasting Memories That We'll Cherish All Through Our Lives
(Or, alternatively, if you hate long titles, Snow Day)
So, all of a sudden, Harry, Ron, and Hermione found themselves back at Hogwarts. "Wait a minute, how in the world did that happen?" asked Hermione, glaring accusingly in the general direction of where she assumed the author was.
"Ok, first of all, read the author's note, I put a lot of work into it!" sobbed Lady Jarine. "And second of all, it's a snow day!"
"But what does that have to do with anything?" Hermione asked, exasperated.
Lady Jarine shrugged. "Nothing really, I guess, I just wanted to gloat." And with that noble sentiment, she flew off to have a fun day of snowy goodness.
So, Harry, Ron, and Hermione decided that since that conversation with the author was exceedingly pointless, they would ignore it and pretend that it never happened. All in all, it was a good plan. But since there was no giant snowstorm at Hogwarts that day, they still had to go to classes.
Suckers.
So, their first class that day was potions with Snape. Because this is my fanfiction, and not only are they all still in school, Snape is still the potions master. And also several characters were only pretending to be dead. But I digress.
Unfortunately, all this idle conversation (read: rambling) with the author had cost them a decent chunk of time, and they were ten minutes late for class. Snape was most displeased. "Nice of you to finally join us," he said with a sneer, causing Harry to think that he was lying, and that he really didn't appreciate the fact that they had come. Harry pouted.
Ron, however, looked miffed. "But it's a snow day, professor, the driving was really slow!" Everyone gave him a strange look. Harry elbowed him.
"Ron, we were supposed to pretend that conversation never happened!" he hissed. Ron, however, didn't understand parsletongue, and therefore couldn't figure out what the strange hissing noises coming from his friend were supposed to mean.
Snape, however, was decidedly more articulate than Harry. "Weasley, this isn't Canada. It's not even snowing right now. And even if it was, you don't really have to worry about a commute," he pointed out. And speaking of points…. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for your stupid, and let us pray that it is not contagious."
Ron was sad. Harry decided that, being the hero he was, he should defend his sad friend. "But Professor, snow days are happy, magical days that define our childhood and create lasting memories that we'll cherish all through our lives!"
In all fairness, I never said he would defend his sad friend well. Snape did not look convinced. "Quite frankly, Potter, I don't care about your happy childhood memories. As far as I'm concerned, all childhood memories should be of PAAAAAAAIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!" Snape said, with a maniacal gleam in his eyes. Hermione rolled her eyes.
Then Harry got an idea. An awful idea. Harry got a wonderful, awful idea! He pulled out a cell phone and started dialing.
Hermione instantly got angry, as she was known to do whenever something so completely uncannon happened. "Harry, what are you doing? You know that electronics don't work inside Hogwarts!"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, duh, but that's normal electronics. This is a magical cell phone. You see, me and Voldemort were getting tired of having our connection in our heads, because the Tylenol bills were getting pretty pricey, so we decided to switch to [INSERT PHONE COMPANY HERE. Now, we get unlimited anytime minutes. Isn't that great!?" Harry finished, excitedly, and held the phone up to his ear.
"Hello? Voldemort? Oh, hi Mr. Malfoy, can you put Voldemort on the phone? Yeah, sure, I'll hold. Voldemort? Hey, it's Harry. Yeah, yeah, I'll kill you to, but more to the point, can you use your super-magic-powers to make it snow? How is it evil? Well, how is it NOT evil! Yes yes, I know, happy childhood memories, but I really want a snow day. Ok, thanks, Voldy! Bye!" Harry shut his phone. "He says it should be snowing within ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Oh, and to watch our backs, because his next evil plot's gonna be a good one."
Hermione was very angry at this point, and was ranting loudly at anyone who would listen, which was exactly no one, so to this very day, we have no way of knowing exactly what she was saying. We can only assume that she was praising Harry for his ingenious disregard for hard cannon facts in order to create snow for the mere purpose of missing class.
So anyways, when the bell rang to signal the end of potions, Harry, Ron and Hermione all rushed up the stairs and saw that outside the castle was a HUGE GINORMOUS SNOW-TASTIC SNOW STORM!!! A voice came over the intercom. "Attention all students: We have decided to call a snow day." Cheering was heard far and wide, as the students prepared themselves for a happy, magical day that would define their childhoods. Except for Hermione, who was wondering when in the world Hogwarts had gotten an intercom system.
The voice on the intercom, however, had not finished. "THIS WILL MEAN," yelled the voice, trying to regain everyone's attention,"that all outdoor classes will be cancelled, as well as all busses. The school will remain open."
"But we don't even have busses!" whined Harry.
"And all of the classes we have are inside today, anyways!" complained Ron.
"Well then, I guess it sucks to be you," the intercom voice replied smartly. Harry and Ron were sad. Hermione, however, wasn't, and skipped her merry way to her next class. Harry and Ron then got an idea.
"Hey, Lady Jarine, you're the author of this fic, you could cancel classes for us!" Harry exclaimed, turning in the general direction that he assumed the author to be in.
"Your right, I could," Lady Jarine agreed. "But I won't. School build character. Also, I like to see people who aren't me suffer. I'm good like that," she said with an innocent smile. Harry and Ron, grumbling, went off to class.
Suckers.
A/N: TADA!!! I love snow days, even if I technically don't take a yellow bus and so should technically be at school right now... Ah well. Please review, it will make my life! Seriously, I'm not even kidding. Although to be fair, yesterday I claimed that finding a shiny nickel on the table made my life, so, ya know, whatever. Still, please review!