Sodapop knows.
He promised he wouldn't tell, but it's only a matter of time before the secret of Ponyboy is out. Imagine Darry, he will feel so betrayed, after all of the care he's given me, only to find out that I've been hiding something huge from him.
I love Ponyboy to the point where it hurts. Each minuscule detail hurts. It hurts thinking that other girls might tempt him to leave me. It hurts thinking that we are living a lie. That nobody can know how much we care for each other. It hurts thinking that at any given point, he could leave me. Well, leave us all. Just like Dally did.
When Dally died, I thought about killing myself. I told Darry that I wouldn't ever go through with it, but I've already lied to him that I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. What's one more lie?
I went out for one last Coke with the gang, but acted as if it were normal so they wouldn't think anything abnormal of it. I guess that's the best way to leave people, so they don't treat you any differently the last time you're together.
As I was leaving the gang to go back home, I hugged each of them.
"Dandy, why are you being so friendly with us all of a sudden?" Two-Bit asked.
"No particular reason," I said. "I just felt like it." And I walked away.
I got home.
I wrote a note.
I filled a glass with my tears and left it for someone to drink.
And I left.
I was gone, just like that.