Disclaimer: I own nothing. All material belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update. I've had a stressful, drama-filled month, but hey! Got accepted into college and a kiss from the boy of my dreams!

Chapter Ten: Would

Of course she had a million questions. Hell, I know I do. Like, are there other humanoid life forms on different planets in our universe? Will Jacob ever even notice me now that Rename-me has arrived? Am I really part vampire?

Luckily for me, though, Paul himself took this moment to yell crude things in our direction and toss us each a beer. "Dunno if you can drink this," he shrugged to Rosalie. "But I know that if there's one thing I would want to eat after being vampified, this would be it." She declined politely by throwing it at his head and telling him that he was an insufferable bastard.

Which had me rolling on the ground laughing.

Mentally, of course.

Sam called off the drills and told us to go home and get some rest. I quickly ran over to him and explained that I wouldn't be able to come to the major part of training the next day because of my job as a handyman – er, girl – and all of the day after that. He consented with a brisk nod of his head. I grabbed my duffel bag from the back of Jared's truck (the lazy idiot had been "too tired" to run over. More like "too busy with Kim doing unmentionable and scarring acts so I have to go really fast at the last second"), waved to Emmett and jogged over to the Blacks' house, my heart banging against my chest painfully with every step.

The stairs seemed to grow as I got closer, but I forced them back down with my feet as I pounded up them. I didn't need to knock.

Billy opened the door and smiled wearily at me. "Hey, Lee. What are you doing around here? Jake's in his room, if you -"

"Sorry, Billy," I said, forcing the grimace that wanted to grace my features into a grotesque excuse for a smile. "Just was wondering if you still had those weights…?"

"Sure, sure," Billy said, his eyes dimming just the slightest bit. "And how are you holding up? Why don't you sit down and have a mug of hot chocolate, Lee, like you used to with me?"

Billy looked up at me with the puppy dog eyes. "I mean, who knows how much longer I'm going to be around? What if this -"

"Shut up, old man," I grumbled, smiling in spite of myself. "Go get me some hot chocolate. I'll get the mugs – no, don't even start. I know for a fact that you can't reach the top shelves."

Billy whistled to himself quietly as he bustled around looking for the chocolate syrup. "Put some of the peppermint liquor in it, too," he said. "I've had a long day, and seeing as you train twenty-four-seven, I'm assuming you have as well."

I stirred the chocolate into the warm milk gently, and my imagination decided to smite me one more blow. I imagined standing at this very counter, Billy giving mock orders from the couch in the other room. Jake would come up behind me, wrapping his long, warm arms around my waist, and whisper in my ear, making me laugh. He'd kiss me, and it would be long and sweet and hot. And then Billy would yell at us and tell us to keep it down because there was a game on, and then –

And we're hopping off the crazy train right… now.

"Leah? How's that chocolate coming?"

"Sorry, Billy. Your mug burnt. Guess I'll just have to drink it alone." I grinned to myself as I listened to him bluster away in the living room. There was the slow creaking sound of a door opening cautiously. I froze, dropping the spoon into one of the mugs. I grabbed the other one and dumped it down the drain, refusing to do anything but act. Without speaking, I sprinted into the other room, dropped Billy's cup on the table and moved uncomfortable from one foot to the other.

"Dad? Is someone here?" A warm, sleep-filled voice came from the hallway with the sound of bare feet padding down the wooden floor.

"Billy," I hissed. "The weights. Can I borrow them?"

"Garage," he told me slowly, taking his chocolate and avoiding my eyes. I didn't bother to answer, just crashed through the room and out the door, kind of smashing into the door in my haste. I pounded through the soggy bog that was the Blacks' yard and threw myself into Jake's garage.

It smelled like him. I wrinkled my nose unhappily and contemplated how stalker-ish that sounded. My ears pricked and my scalp crawled. The front door had opened and slammed again. Shit.

I frantically looked around, before locating the chunks of heavy metal in the corner. Even from where I stood – behind Jake's Rabbit – I could see Lh Clrwtr etched into the side of one. And I knew that if I cared to look, I would see Hppy Brthdy Jk on the hidden end. I ripped the zipper on my duffel all the way across in one swift movement while simultaneously searching for hiding places. The footsteps were tracing mine through the mud now, and the squelching was getting louder every second, though the steps were measured.

The weights were quickly tossed into the bag, and I quietly opened the window facing the house stoutly. Out the bag went. It hit the ground silently, sinking slightly in the squishy terrain just outside.

Unfortunately, I was quite a bit larger than my relatively small duffel bag, and had to figure out how to wriggle out without making any noise.

When the door was tossed as far back as it would go, I was half-way out, one leg sticking out awkwardly, the other balancing me on the dirt floor. I glanced up and my eyes widened with shock as I took in the heavily muscled body of a seventeen year old with cropped raven hair. The absolute last person I wanted to see right now.

"What exactly are you doing?" I whipped my other leg back into the room, overbalancing and nearly careening into his baby – the car, that is.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked petulantly, folding my arms and meeting his deep brown, almost black eyes. He grinned, and I almost died from the shock. "Um, hello?"

Jake moved towards me slowly. "It looks like you're trying to escape."

"Nice job. Can I use the door now that you're here?"

The pull to reach him was irresistible now. I gripped the windowsill tightly, feeling each grain of wood and finding a new appreciation for each. Jake came so close that if I had reached out an arm, I would have hit him in the jaw. I waited for the torrent of anger, thoroughly confused now.

Jake closed his eyes and found my elbows with his big, warm hands. I resisted slightly. What the fuck was going on?

Holy… mother… fu –

His lips were warm and soft, molding with mine and sending rushes of heat through my body. My mind blinked out into nonexistence, and I lost all conscious thought.

Jake's mouth moved with mine, and he moved his hands from my elbows to my head and lower back. My hand had released the windowsill and I tentatively shifted so I was closer to him. Jake pushed me up against the wall, crushing my body against his. I could feel every line of his rock hard body against mine. His tongue met mine half-way, and the universe tilted. A low moan sounded from the back of Jake's throat, and a shiver ran through me. His fingers tangled in my hair.

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.

There was nothing but Jacob. His blinding smile. His piercing, velvet eyes. His warmth. His – well, honestly, his roc- hard abs.. His caring personality.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Jake's hands traveled down the outside of my thighs, stopping next to my ass. In a blindingly hot second, I had my legs wrapped around his waist, his palms supporting me.

He tasted like hot chocolate and peppermint – he must have taken a sip of Billy's drink – and oranges. And something that was so decidedly Jacob that I couldn't compare it to anything else.

His tongue tangled fiercely with my own as he sat me on the hood of his car. Jake's lips were rough and fast moving, and it was all I could do to keep up.

Though I was positive afterwards that I had noticed the downward motion, at the time, shock ran through my system when I realized that my back had just touched down on the glossy cover of the car. My legs relaxed, swinging down to hit the front of the vehicle, and I briefly hoped I hadn't damaged it in any way.

We broke apart, panting, breathing ragged. There was no vulnerability going into the second round. Before I could even contemplate what was happening, Jake had ripped my shirt off. Literally. As in, in half. Not that it bothered me all too much.

I stopped moving, and sat up, guiding Jake's head with my own so as not to crack skulls with me. That boy had a hard head.

"Lee-Lee," Jake groaned, opening his eyes and grabbing my hand to help me up.

"Jake?" My voice was shaky, still recovering. "Jacob."

He met my eyes bashfully. "I – won't you stay with me, Lee-Lee?"

I sputtered, pushing him out of the way. "What the fuck, Jacob Black? Did you just make out with me to get me to defend the leeches with you?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "You are the lowest scum I have ever had the misfortune to meet!" I screamed.

Pain twisted his features. And it said everything for him. "Lee -"

"Don't you dare!" I had reached a level of furious energy that was causing my hands to shake so fast they looked like blurs. Not that I knew that, of course. I was focused on the boy in front of me, who seemed to have shrunk just a little bit. "Don't you dare call me that! You have no right! You -" I hadn't noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks until I began to sob, beating his chest with my fists.

I turned around and kicked the passenger side door of his car. "Fuck you," I hissed.

"Leah!" he pleaded. "I have to keep Renes -"

Fire burned in my eyes, which were now dry and red. I phased instantly, planting both of my front paws on his chest and forcing him to the ground. I opened my large maw and aimed for his jugular, which was pulsing faster than normal – even for a werewolf.

I imagined hot blood spurting out in hot gushes, the light dimming behind his eyes, though he'd have one second of recognition of the pain he'd just dished out so easily. It would be so easy. And his throat was right there. The skin would break easily – barely a touch from my sharp fangs would do the trick. And from there, everything would be crushed and broken.

I snarled – the coward wasn't going to phase – you could see it in the newly-formed resolution in his eyes. That's right, I thought venomously. You son of a bitch.

A gargled, choking noise stopped me. It took me a second to realize that it was my esophagus slowly closing. That and the feeling of a leash being tightened around my throat. I was ripped off of Jacob, shaking my head and clawing at the tire of his car as I was dragged back.

At the door of the garage, I was released inexplicably from the chokehold. I threw my body through the air, attempting to see my attacker. In the doorway stood… nobody.

Illumination was granted instantly. Fucking imprint. God-fucking-dammit. I moved to get at the boy who was just now sitting up on his elbows. I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou I hate you!

The invisible line pulled me back. Barbed wire seemed to snake around my furry neck. I whimpered, before retreating out of the small shed. Jacob tried one last time. "Leah!"

I barked out a "Fuck you!" as loud as I could. I was pretty sure he could at least infer from my fucking demeanor what I was trying to say.

Sue was back when I got home. I had to give her some credit, she really was pulling a piece of her amazing seven-layer lasagna out of the oven for me. But, really? This was the fucking moment that she chose to suddenly show up?

She held it out to me as a peace offering. I walked over unhappily, taking the warm plate from her and pulling a fork out of the drawer behind me. Sue studied her feet as the kettle steamed, and I watched her with careful, guarded emotions. Her face was drawn – the exact same way she had looked when she had admitted to having an affair with Harry while she was in a relationship with a man who really could be my real dad. But there was something new, too. Her eyes had the sparkle that used to only light up her face when dad – Harry – would do something especially childish, like swinging her through the air before kissing her full on the lips.

The lasagna was hot, and I'm sure it tasted really good. None of Sue's cooking tasted like shit, unlike my own. But I was shoveling it down my throat so fast, it really didn't matter. The atmosphere was tense, and I wanted out of there. As in, now. Each fucking time the pasta brushed my lips, I inwardly retched, thinking of how Jacob's mouth felt against mine. I wondered briefly if it was possible for a wolf to commit suicide.

Reality hit me in a blinding flash of light. Who would miss me? Sue's left hand was shoved deep into her pocket, and I knew with sickening certainty why she had waited up for me. She evidently wouldn't need the primary money-maker in the house anymore. And she didn't even notice when I was gone – so Sue wouldn't miss me. Bitch.

Obviously Jacob Black fucking wouldn't.

Rosalie and Emmett? While we were slowly making progress in the let's-try-not-to-kill-each-other-and-be-friends area, I had no freaking doubt that they would be more concerned with their sex life.

The piece of shit – Jacob – wouldn't. Bastard.

The boys? Not likely. I was the bitchy one, after all. They'd probably be relieved if I were gone.

Seth would be hurt for a while. But he'd get over it. I wasn't too concerned about the kid. If there was one person who could bounce back from anything, he'd be the one.

But the pack needed me to fight. My mind cleared. I'd wait to even consider any of that shit until the whole Claire/Esme thing was fucking over and done with. And I could not wait until it was.

Sue cleared her throat. I had forgotten she was there, and jumped half a fucking mile straight up. "Leah…?"

"Yeah?" I asked absently, voice thick with tomato sauce. Maybe if I shove it in my mouth fast enough, I can get upstairs and away from this…

"I have something to tell you. Well, I would have told you earlier, but I have no idea where you and Seth are. Ever. Where do you go? What are you doing?"

The fork clinked against the scraped clean plate. I put it in the sink carefully, careful to control my expression before I turned around. Though I did allow myself a grimace of disgust that was reflected grimly in the dark, mirror-like window beyond the sink. The look slowly faded into a small pock-mark that was hidden in the corner of my mouth.

"Training, mom. But maybe if you were home just once in a while, you'd know that. Did you know that Billy's been in the hospital? Did you know that Seth has a girlfriend? Do you even have the slightest inkling of what the fuck is going on with the Cullens and the pack? Did you know that I imprinted on Jacob, and he broke my heart? Do you remember your own freaking kids? The ones you abandoned to go be BFFL's with Charlie and his twig insect of a daughter? No, you didn't know any of that." I glared at her. "Those are things a mother should be able to trust her kids to tell her about. So if you want our trust, you earn it."

Her lips pursed and turned white around the edges. Sue's eyes narrowed balefully. "Don't use language like that around me. You're well enough to use it by yourself – heaven knows you would curse a kitten if it happened to cross your path on the wrong day – but I am your mother and you will respect me."

I snorted, knowing that indifference was the only thing that would really grate on her nerves. "Sure, sure, mom. Whatever you say. Now, you were going to tell me something? Because I'm so tired I could just about pass out right now."

"Seth's got a girlfriend?"

I sighed exasperatedly. Of course this was the one thing she'd picked out. "Yes, mom. Her name is Sarah. She's pretty cool. Me and Seth had her over for dinner. She was kinda freaked that our mom didn't give a fu – dge that her only son had a girlfriend, but she got over it fast. Why weren't you here? Oh, yeah, because you're slee – spending quality time with the chief of police. Time you could 'never make' for dad."

She flushed, her cheeks turning an ugly puce, and her neck whitening until you could almost see her veins through her tan skin.

"For your information," she hissed. "I am not – as you say – 'spending quality time' with Charlie. He has just barely gotten over the fact that his daughter has become a vampire, and he is now a grandfather. And he still hurts about Renee."

Bella's mom's name was said with such a burning taste of hate and disgust that I immediately took her side. "Renee did what she had to do, mom. And don't pretend like you never thought about leaving dad. Or that you never slept with anyone but him."

Sue shrieked with fury, raising her hands as if to tear out her own hair. "You don't even know Renee. And for your information, you brat, I stayed loyal to your father." She looked at me, eyes filled with angry tears. "I never ran around chasing boys that I didn't mean anything to."

That was it. I slammed my fist into the wall, leaving a large hole where the plaster split and bleeding knuckles that were attached to my hand – but I couldn't feel quite yet. The healing process would get to them before the nerves in my hand realized that a message should be sent to the brain, saying that I was hurt.

"So what is this big news that you've got to share with me, anyway?" I spat, fighting the trembling in my hand and the molten anger burning through my mind. "Going to move to California without us? Gonna take a vacation in Peru with Charlie, and you want me to house-sit? Have you decided that enough is enough, and you're shacking up with a stranger you met at the bar, and will send us monthly payments for groceries?"

Sue yanked her left hand from her pocket, where it had been placed after her brief moment of wanting to kill me, and stuck the silver band in my face. The first tears had now fallen over the brink, and were turning her eyes red as she studied my expression. I was aiming for blank nothingness, but probably ended up with something closer to a mixture of pain, anger, and respect.

Respect because she was willing to risk her life for love.

Anger because she could find her happily ever after, and I was still Lonely Lee.

Pain because that hammered metal represented the last hope I'd cherished of my mom never moving on. Never finding anybody else that she would rather live her life with.

I opened my mouth to let out words I knew I could never say. I closed it again, keeping warnings and admonishments and screams of rage in a place where I knew I could bottle them up.

Go talk to the council. They'll knock some sense into you.

You're ruining everything!

Why can't you just leave it alone? We were a happy family until you decided to get back in the dating game. Didn't you think about us at all? What if we're not okay with this?

I hate you!

You're putting the whole pack, not to mention yourself and your fiancé and La Push, and the entire town of Forks in danger for something you think is real!

"That's great, mom. And I'm sorry I yelled at you. I've just had a long day. Long, long day." The resentment flooded out of me. And I hated myself for it. My mom and I came to blows often, but it was impossible for either of us to go very long without forgiving the other. Which sucked ass.

Sue reached out her arms, and I complied patiently. "Don't you do that again," she whispered. "Don't you do that again. I'll be home more often. I'll be the mom you should have."

I sighed. "I'm going to go to bed, now, mom. I'm super tired, and I've gotta be up early tomorrow."

She patted me on the shoulder gently. "See you in the morning."

I bounded up the stairs, pausing for a brief moment at the top to watch my mother carefully. She was twisting her hand around under the dim kitchen lighting, as if trying to find the perfect position to let it catch the light and reflect the promise of eternal happiness back at her.

I caught the door behind me before it slammed, and crashed face-down onto the comfortingly cool quilt on top of my bed. And before I had a chance to pull off my t-shirt, I was snoring in a way that was not lady-like or proper at all.