A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone. Hope you all enjoy this chapter :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.
The Doctor, after approximately one hundred and fifty-nine planet suggestions, sixteen hours of outright boredom and only three actual landings, had officially given up.
"I have officially given up!" he announced loudly, striding into the console room and somehow managing to sound powerful and important, and at the same time weary and fed up.
After a few seconds of silence, the Doctor frowned. He could've sworn the Master was in here five minutes ago.
"Helloo-oo?" he cried cautiously, making his way down the steps and peering around.
"Maa-aastee-er?" he called louder, slowly drawing out the other Time Lord's name like a piece of chewing gum.
There was a clanging noise, a loud thump and some muffled curses from a high-up-sounding place, and then the Master's head emerged from behind the large dome at the top of the time rotor in the middle of the console.
His head was swiftly followed by the rest of his body, which seemed to be suspended by a few of the tangled cables at the top of the column. It gave him the appearance of a window-cleaner dangling down the side of a building in a harness.
"Hullo down there!" the Master said, "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?" the Doctor spluttered, "What are you doing climbing around my TARDIS like a... monkey?!"
The Master rolled his eyes - as was his habit these days - and held up the Doctor's sonic screwdriver. "I'm tryingto fix the Chameleon Circuit."
A feeling of horror passed over the Doctor. The feeling then turned around, came back and settled itself firmly on his face.
"No, no! No! No. Don't! Don't do that! I've told you, I like it blue! And give that back!" the Doctor held out a hand for the sonic screwdriver, which the Master obligingly dropped.
The Doctor leaped forward and only just managed to catch it, before straightening up and stowing it back in his jacket pocket.
"Now, as I've been trying to tell you," he said, "I have officially given up."
"Given up what?" the Master adjusted the cables holding him aloft.
"Trying to take you anywhere. You're useless! You don't even want to see the Paradox Falls of Arcateen V! If we go anywhere, you say it's boring, and if you stay here you say it's boring! What do you want?!" the Doctor was almost yelling by the end of his little speech - he knew he shouldn't get angry, but after days cooped up in the TARDIS, his nerves were on edge and he felt irritable and tired.
The Master said nothing, tilting his head slightly and giving the Doctor a calculating stare.
The Doctor took a breath and tried a different tack. "Look, I know you hate it here." he said, his tone considerably more gentle, "And I know you hate travelling with me sometimes. But you can't sit around sulking and messing about with wires all day."
"Can't I?" the Master murmured under his breath, turning back to the exposed panel of circuitry he had been fixing and examining it, even though he couldn't do anything further to it without the screwdriver.
There was a short silence, and then all of a sudden, something seemed to flicker in the Master's eyes and the Doctor could almost feel the other Time Lord's unexpected mood swing.
"Alright, fine!" he said, abruptly slamming the circuit compartment shut and swinging around again to face the Doctor. "I'll tell you what." He started rearranging the cables, gradually lengthening them and lowering himself down to floor level, "We can go somewhere, if -" he stopped a few feet above the metal grating and slid out of the harness, dusting himself off, "- And only if," placing a hand on the console, the Master flashed a mischievous grin, "I can drive."
The Doctor hesitated. He didn't know if he quite trusted the Master to fly the TARDIS, but it was so rare that his 'companion' actually wanted to go somewhere, he was tempted to allow it.
A few seconds passed, during which the Master's eyebrows gradually inched higher and higher until the Doctor was sure they were going to float off his forehead.
Finally, after considering all possible outcomes of the situation that he could prevent, (He didn't consider the ones he couldn't prevent; he ignored them to make himself feel more confident) the Doctor sighed, took out his sonic screwdriver, aimed it at the console and deactivated the isomorphic settings.
The TARDIS's engines immediately whirred in protest, but the Doctor gave the console a comforting pat before settling himself into the pilot's seat and making an 'All yours' gesture to the Master.
The other Time Lord's grin returned and he began to slowly circle the console, like a cat considering its prey.
The Doctor noticed that the first buttons to be pressed were the stabilisers, followed by the back-up stabilisers, the anti-turbulence lever (Which he was pretty certain he'd never used) and the landing buffer shield.
"Is my driving really that bad?" the Doctor asked.
The Master glanced up at him. "Yes."
The Doctor pouted, but the Master happened not to notice him.
It had to be noted that the Master and the Doctor differed greatly when it came to flying the TARDIS. While the Doctor usually performed a sort of haphazard jig around the console, spinning dials seemingly at random and pressing half the buttons on a panel before coming back to press the rest on his next lap, the Master had a much more calculated way of doing things. He almost seemed to slide around the controls, completing each section of the flight co-ordinates in smooth chronological order. It took a little longer than the Doctor's method, but when the time rotor finally hummed into action and began pumping up and down, the engines surprised the Doctor by remaining utterly silent throughout the take-off.
The console room began to shudder a little and the Doctor braced himself against the back of the pilot's seat, but after a few seconds, it seemed to quieten down and become almost tranquil.
"So, what do you think?" the Master asked, moving round the edge of the console to face the Doctor, "It must be a luxury to be able to walk around while the TARDIS is in flight."
"Hm." the Doctor huffed, remaining firmly seated, "I don't like it. It's like being in one of those lifts that are so quiet you don't know whether it's still moving or broken down."
The Master tutted. "And you say I'm always complaining."
A few minutes later, the TARDIS gave a small lurch, a hum and a clank, before settling down with a familiar wheezing noise.
"Just out of interest, where are we?" the Doctor asked casually, getting up and striding past the other Time Lord to the scanner screen.
"Ah ah ah!" the Master said, grabbing the Doctor by the arm and tugging him away from the console, "That's cheating. Come on!" he propelled the Doctor down the ramp to the doors and pulled them open.
As soon as the Doctor stepped outside, there was a sudden stillness, and the distinct oversweet smell of an old fashioned confectionary shop.
They were standing on a rocky plateau that stretched as far as the eye could see, with many crevices and canyons, along with a few craggy rises that could be described as hills. The sky was a buttery yellow colour, and when the Doctor looked at the ground below his feet, he saw that the rocks glistened and shone like crystals.
"Ohh... oh!" he said, spinning around to face the Master, "Terrokupia! Very nice choice! I don't think I've been here for several hundred years!" he bent down and picked up a small rock that had broken off the nearest pile, "Naturally occurring sugar rocks!" he grinned, straightening up, "The universe never ceases to amaze me."
"It really doesn't take much to amaze you, does it?" the Master said, glancing up at the sky before setting off in a random direction, "Come on, let's explore." he called back, "That's what you do, isn't it?"
"Absolutely!" the Doctor grinned, taking a bite out of his rock as he followed the Master.
"Mm," he said, voice slightly muffled by the sweet in his mouth, "Delicious! I feel so sorry for everyone else in the universe. This planet is like a giant free sweet shop. But with a poisonous atmosphere... it's like some almighty being is having a laugh at everyone's expense."
"It's not everyone else in the universe." the Master reminded him, "The atmosphere isn't toxic to Time Lords, Karpians, Saturnynians and Jalnimn. And besides, people use automations to harvest it."
"Yeah, but there's something really nice about just picking something up off the ground and eating it." the Doctor said through crunching.
"No, that's just you." the Master said firmly. "If everyone in the universe was like that, there would be a serious hygiene problem."
The Doctor shrugged and looked up at the sky. "I can't see any suns, how many does it have?"
"One, I think." the Master said, also looking up and turning around as he walked, "But it's quite cloudy toda-" he cut off with a gasp of surprise as he stumbled backwards into a wide crack in the ground. The Doctor whipped around, but was too late to stop himself also tripping headlong into the crack with a yelp.
Luckily it was only a few feet deep, with a shallow river flowing through it.
"Ow!" the Doctor spluttered, spitting out some water. He sat up and held out his grazed hands for inspection. "We should really learn to look where we're going. You okay?"
"Fine, thank you." the Master said through gritted teeth, rolling onto his back with a resigned sigh and a splash. "Well this is delightful."
"You're getting wet." the Doctor observed, watching the river water soak into the other Time Lord's hair and clothes.
"Do I look like I care?" the Master asked, turning his head and raising his eyebrows at the Doctor.
The Doctor didn't answer. Instead he edged backwards out of the stream and began examining the curious water of Terrokupia.
It was as clear as any water from Earth, but filled with tiny reflective shards, giving it the sparkling effect of something you might find in an arts & crafts box.
"What's this then, Essence of Cullen?" he muttered, smirking at his own joke and cupping some of the sparkling water in his hand, letting it spill through his fingers.
"You know I don't understand Earth pop culture references." the Master said, turning over onto his stomach and frowning at the Doctor.
"Right, sorry." the Doctor rolled his eyes, then stood up and tried to shake the water out of his coat. "I think we're in need of an hour or two in the drying room." he glanced down at the other Time Lord, "You coming?"
The Master sat up and ran a hand through his dripping wet hair. Then a thought seemed to occur to him.
"Doctor," he said cautiously, "You know I was messing about with the wires earlier?"
"Ye-es?" the Doctor said, equally cautious.
"What does the mauve wire marked 'DANGER' do?"
"Oh, that!" the Doctor grinned, "That secures the TARDIS once the engines have cooled down after landing and prevents total randomised take-off. I marked it to remind people never to cut it because it would make the TARDIS dematerialise and strand all the passengers on a planet, and that would be a complete catastrophe - but luckily that's not going to happen because the wire's not ever going to be cut, aaaaand you cut it, didn't you?" the Doctor finished with a resigned sigh, as the sound of TARDIS engines wheezed through the air from a little way away.
"Great. Juuust great." the Doctor turned just in time to see the blue box vanish, then spun back around to glare down at the Master. "You reckless idiot! Don't you even think?! 'Ooh, here's a wire marked 'DANGER', shall I be sensible and leave it alone? Nahh, I'm going to cut it, just to see what happens!' And now we're stranded here in candyland until the TARDIS repairs itself and comes back, which could take days!"
The Doctor's words rung in the air, and the Master said nothing to counter them for a minute or two. Then he smiled impishly up at the other Time Lord. "Finished?"
The Doctor let out a long-suffering sigh. Some days, he thought, things just went wrong.
A/N: I think there's a bit of story development goin' on here - although he did make a mess of things, the Master actually properly flew the TARDIS for the first time in this story, so who knows? We might see a bit more of that in future :3
Also little bit of information - I invented the planet's name by combining two relevant Latin words:
Terra: Earth, ground.
Cuppedia : Delicacies, candies, sweetmeats.
REFERENCES: Arcateen V, Saturnyne (free cookies for those who got them! ^^)