A/N: Hey there, guys and gals! So I need to apologize for my absence over the past two weeks. Let's just put it down to a combination of work starting (and kicking my ass) and my muse being oddly silent. Also, this isn't the chapter ten that y'all have been waiting for. (That's currently still a work in progress.) Think of this as a special bonus chapter. (Which also means that this chapter is in no way canonical.) I'll let it explain itself. Enjoy!

Bonus Chapter

I'm sitting at a table in the mess hall with Jenny, Ian, Garrus, Violet, and Kaidan sitting around me. None of us are saying anything right now, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I decide to voice mine.

"Man…I can't believe it's been a year since this story started," I say.

"We sure have come a long way, haven't we?" Jenny asks, looking around the table with a smile.

"I can't believe I've managed to last this long," I say. "Most SIs usually die long before now. It's strange to think that I'm one of the lucky ones."

"Luck? I'm pretty sure you've survived because I'm here," Ian says, giving me one of his classic grins. I can't help but laugh.

"Sure, that's the reason. But just think, you almost weren't. I was prepared to try and survive based solely on me having the vision."

"Yeah, then you realized that would never work, so you called me in." His grin only gets bigger.

"Hey, I had other stuff planned," I say defensively.

"You mean like killing me off?" Ash says, suddenly appearing next to me. She sounds kinda pissed, and even though she's a ghost, I think she might hurt me.

"Do you know of any other SI with the balls to kill off the LI?" I ask, trying to think of a way to calm her down.

"No, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"A lot of people think that was the best chapter of Welcome to the Family."

She just rolls her eyes. "Yes, it was wonderfully written, but that still doesn't change the fact that I died," she says. "But whatever. I'll just be going now." And with a puff, she vanishes.

"I still think I'm the biggest reason you're still around," Ian says after a short silence.

"What makes you so special?" Jenny asks. "There's one thing that every good Mass Effect story has: an awesome Commander Shepard. So I think I should take that title."

"Please, Shepard stories are a dime a dozen," Violet says. "A good OC is what really makes a story."

"The problem with OCs is that they're often based on people the author knows; therefore, most readers don't feel a good connection to them," Garrus says. "Whereas everyone has a favorite squad member."

"So that's why I make the story," Kaidan says, smiling.

Garrus grins back at him. "No offense Kaidan, but you can't hope to compare to Space Batman. There's a reason I'm in all three games."

"And thank god you are," Ian says, putting an arm around Garrus' waist. Then he looks at me. "And to think you were originally gonna put me with Tali."

"You originally told me that was fine," I say. "But then you went and decided that you like scaly turian dick."

"It's not that scaly," Garrus says, sounding offended. He looks down at Ian. "Is it?"

I FIND THIS CURRENT CONVERSATION SLIGHTLY BEYOND MY GRASP OF SOCIAL NUANCES, Death says, appearing next to me out of nowhere. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT MY PARTICULAR CHARACTER SEEMS TO HOLD MUCH FAVOR AMONG THE FANBASE.

"But you're Death," I say. "People feel like they have to like you. Otherwise you would kill them."

I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT. YOU ARE SUGGESTING THAT THE READERS ONLY LIKE ME BECAUSE THEY FEAR TO DISLIKE ME. THAT MY PERSONALITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY POPULARITY.

Three grey hooded figures materialize out of thin air. One says, You are Death. To have personality is to be alive. It is a contradiction.

One says, The readers prefer us, anyway.

One says, They say we are much better than the starchild.

One says, Therefore, we win.

"It sounds an awful lot like you three are getting competitive," Ian says. "That requires a personality." The hooded figures share a look then burst into flames. After a sort of stunned silence, Ian turns to me with yet another grin. "See? Another reason why I'm the best part of the story."

"Personally, I think all of you are overlooking a simple fact," I say. "An SI is defined by the insert character. Which is me. I'm the one providing all the awesome internal monologue all the time, and the readers experience the various events through my eyes."

"Well there was that one time the story was from my point of view," Ian says.

"It was half a chapter. Doesn't count. Besides, I'm still the one that writes it."

"Write an awesome story all you want, but if no one reads it, it's not worth a vorcha's ass," Wrex says, stepping out of the elevator. His sudden appearance is surprising enough (though given everything else, it shouldn't be), but it's the fact that he's not promoting his own part in the story that really seems to shock everyone.

"He does have a point," Jenny says after some contemplation. "If no one read the story, you'd have stopped a long time ago."

"You're writing this just as much for them as yourself," Kaidan adds. "Probably more so."

"The readers do tend to make everything better," Ian says. "And that's experience talking."

"Wrex is right," I say. Then I turn to face you, the reader. "Thank you for helping to make this past year one of the best I've had. To those of you who have been around since the beginning (or pretty early on), it's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it? And to those of you who have just joined recently, I hope you stick around long enough to become old regulars. Either way, here's to a bright future! If it's half as good as the past, I'll be a happy man."

"You are so fucking cheesy," Ian groans.