Rader Love

The Decepticons all gathered around the Scorponok that was once again damaged.

"Is it just me, or does this jeep seem like really bad luck?" Frenzy asked.

"Yeah. You know, now that you mention it, it does seem like every time we get in to the damn thing, it breaks, or explodes, or goes crazy and tries to kill one of us," Starscream said.

"Maybe we should try exchanging it for a few motorcycles," suggested Rumble, "No wait, wait, wait, a big tank like the Autobots have. That thing never seems to have any problems at all."

Over at the disabled Joan, the Autobots had gathered with their new mechanic Soundwave.

"Alright, that's the deal mister robot. You fix our tank, we'll let you go free," Optimus said to Soundwave.

"I thought the plan was to trick him in to fixing the tank, and then Optimus will take over his body again when he is done," Bumblebee asked Jazz.

"Yeah. But you don't tell the person you're tricking what's going on, Bumblebee," Jazz answered.

"So if I'm the one being tricked, then you would not tell me what is really going on?"

"Why would we trick you?"

"Oh I think you know."

(Where will I go?) Soundwave asked, (Even my friends have tried to kill me.)

"Okay, I'm going to take that as a yes," said Optimus, "And let you get busy with tank fixing."

(I have no home.)

Frenzy was on top of the Scorponok and peering through the sniper scope.

"Aw crap. Hey uh, they got a guy fixing their tank," he told the others.

"Impossible!" said Megatron, "Our intelligence clearly states..."

"We have intelligence?" Rumble asked.

"That the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training are that dead freelancer and Soundwave, oh wait a minute."

"Megatron, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Soundwave runs away, the jeep starts driving itself, and suddenly there's a new guy on the Autobot team?" Starscream asked.

"Yes Starscream, I am. Quite obviously the Autobot team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam, that they used on Soundwave and now he has to do their evil Autobot bidding!"

"Or, since he's a robot like all of us, maybe they just reprogrammed him," suggested Frenzy.

"Or maybe, that Autobot guy who got killed by the tank, came back as a spark, and now he's possessing Soundwave's body. That could also explain why Megatron went nuts when we had the prisoner; the Autobot spark probably possessed him too. And the jeep going nuts was probably just a weird set of coincidences, while the guy learned how to use Soundwave's body," Rumble said.

However the other's just stared at him in disbelief.

"I think I like the ray beam idea better," said Starscream.

"Yeah proto, your idea sounds a little dumb," Frenzy commented.

Bumblebee was jumping up and down next to the tank as Soundwave kept working.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, fix the tank!" he pleaded, "So that I can say hello to Joan."

"And start killing everyone!" Galvatron added.

"You mean all the Decepticons, right?" Jazz asked.

"Of course!" said Bumblebee.

"For starters!" ended Galvatron.

"Come on, how much longer Soundwave?" Optimus asked.

(Complete,) said Soundwave as he got off the tank.

Joan began to power back up for the second time, "Thank you for activating the M808Z Ark Battle Tank."

"Joan! You're fixed! You're fixed," Bumblebee shouted with joy.

"Hello Private Bumblebee. It's good to see you again. Thank you for repairing me."

"He didn't fix you, a mechanic did it," said Jazz.

"Don't robo-cock-block me!" Galvatron yelled.

"Dude, come on."

"Mechanic? I wasn't aware that our squad was outfitted with a mechanic," said Joan.

Soundwave raised his head to look at the tank in front of him.

"I don't like where this is going," said Bumblebee.

"Hello there. My name is Joan. The M808Z Ark Battle Tank."

(And I am Soundwave, the heavy.)

"Soundwave. What a nice name, for such a nice soldier. You have such excellent motor skills."

"Ummmm yes. Well Soundwave has to go now," Bumblebee interrupted, "He was just here to help me fix you, and now he has to go away!"

"Dude, this is getting weird. Optimus, will you take your fucking body back?" asked Jazz.

"Roger that," said Optimus. His spark entered Soundwave's body again.

(No! Heauegerkergerk!)

Soundwave started shaking.

"You okay in there Optimus? Optimus. Hey what's going on? Do I need to flip your switch?"

His spark began to fade back into the real world.

"What the... that wasn't me! What the hell's going on here?"

"Well. Buenos Dias cockbites," Soundwave said with R-C's voice, "Guess who's back."