Sandy woke up without that familiar feeling of warmth pressed up against his chest. He felt a cringe in his neck and an ache in his back. When he opened his eyes, he realized why. He must have slept all night on a cheap couch with no pillow. He thought back to the prior evening and he was left with mixed feelings. The minute the realization hit him, he knew he was falling for Kirsten. He figured it had to be the fact that she was something he forbid himself to have. It was simple. That was why he wanted her so bad. It was like the biblical story of Adam and Eve. Adam could have had any fruit in the forest, but he had to have the apple god forbid him. The ironic part was that Sandy was really trying to do the right thing. Sandy was the one forbidding himself, knowing that he couldn't sleep with Kirsten and walk away from her.
There was one huge difference though. He was starting to realize his loyalty to his friendship with Kirsten was not the sole reason. It was him. He knew it was him. He wouldn't be able to walk away from her because he wouldn't want to. She was a breath of fresh air and unlike any girl his path had so far crossed. Everything in his eyes was perfect with them right now. They laughed together, they had the same family values, they wanted the same things for their futures and their sexual attraction for each other was so powerful. Sandy couldn't even explain it if he wanted.
So, was it hard to believe that he had mixed feelings about last night? No. They were justified. He was really happy about how great of a time they had. A smile was brought to his face thinking about dinner, the park, the porch and falling asleep with her in his arms.
She felt like she belonged there, he thought.
The downside was that he was wishing it went further. Of course he did. He was twenty-two. He wanted her last night more than he had ever wanted anyone. But in the morning light, she was the forbidden fruit. Now only one thing plagued his mind. What was with this girl and taking off on him while he was sleeping? Maybe she didn't feel like she belonged in his arms.
Kirsten thought about Sandy the whole way back to campus. How could she not? The night was amazing. She smiled to herself about swimming in the lake. She couldn't believe she let herself be talked into such behavior. Thoughts of her father's disapproval suddenly popped into her mind, now realizing maybe why she enjoyed that a little too much.
Sandy was a complete gentleman, something Kirsten never would have considered him two months ago. He really was sweet and for some reason did respect her. She would have slept with him last night if he had been a little bit more persistent. That wasn't Sandy's way though. He probably never had to be persistent with a girl a day in his whole life. Girls just flocked to him because he was a charmer. He had those full lips, those gorgeous eyes and that beautiful smile, not to mention that body. Kirsten shivered as she thought of him touching her. His fingertips on her breasts, his hands on her ass, his strong arms around her waist were things she would never forget. It made her tremble.
She needed to stop thinking about him. She knew he was dangerous territory. She knew not to get her feelings involved, but it was too late. He was everything she had been looking for, but never really knew it. Her brain was telling her to ignore her feelings and burning desires. A million girls must have felt like this about Sandy in past, how could she be one of them? She felt like and idiot and just as dumb as all her predecessors. The thought of being categorized like that was enough to make her shake all thoughts of him. He was just a charmer and she had known that from the beginning. She had to play her game, not fall into his.
She made her way to front door of her dorm and she fished around for her keys. She couldn't believe she was wearing the same clothes as she went out in the night before. She felt like trash but was happy no one was really back from break yet to notice.
She opened the door to her dorm room and headed to her bedroom. She turned the handle and walked right in not expecting to see Paul and Emily scattering for covers trying to hide themselves underneath.
"Kirsten! Shit, sorry, I didn't know you were back from break yet although I saw some of your stuff around I ..." Emily started to ramble clearly humiliated by the run in with Kirsten.
"Em, it's okay. Hey Paul. I will be in the living room. Come out when you are..." She tried to think of a word that wasn't naked. She didn't want to add to her best friend's embarrassment. "More decent?" She phrased it as a question, almost asking Emily if that was a safe enough saying.
Kirsten shut the door behind her and wanted to die. She really wished that didn't just happen. She knew Emily and knew she had to be dying right now as well. Really though, there was nothing to be embarrassed about. They were in college, practically completely grown adults.
Paul came out first and sat on the couch putting on his shoes.
"You don't have to leave. I am really sorry. I had no idea you guys were coming back so early." Kirsten didn't know what else to say, but to keep apologizing.
"It's okay, Kirsten. I was planning on getting back to the house anyway to unpack. Believe me, if we knew you were coming back early, we would have never hijacked your room."
Emily walked out at that moment and sat down next to Paul in her pajamas. "Kirsten, when did you get back?"
"My father and I got into a huge fight and I actually came back on Friday night." Emily was looking at her, expecting her to continue, but Kirsten was not going to get into it with Paul right there. "Don't ask. I really don't want to talk about it."
Emily felt the need to explain. That or she just wanted to fill any sort of awkward silence. "Paul and I got back last night. We spoke over the weekend decided to cut things short with our families. I thought you weren't going to be back until tonight, although I did see some of your stuff around."
Paul interrupted them as he stood up from the couch. "Emily, I am going to go. I should go home, unpack and probably enjoy having the whole place to myself before the other four guys get back."
Kirsten wasn't even thinking when the words came flying out of her mouth. "Fat chance Paul. Sandy has been back since Friday too."
When both heads swung in her direction at rapid speed, she felt the need to recover. "We ran into each other at the airport."
"Wait a second. Where were you last night?" Emily just took in the contents of Kirsten's wardrobe.
Paul started to feel uncomfortable and wanted to leave these girls to whatever girls do. He assumed it was to talk in detail about everything, which made him feel more uncomfortable. "Emily, like I said, I am going to go. How about dinner? Tonight? 7?" He walked over to give her a kiss and made a quick exit calling behind him, "I will call you later."
Emily watched him leave and then immediately turned her attention back to Kirsten. "I can pretend that I don't care, but then I will believe all the crazy things running through my head right now, and I know that wouldn't be fair to you. So spill!"
"There is nothing to spill." Kirsten said it nonchalantly, but Emily didn't buy it. Kristen walked into their room and picked up a piece of skimpy underwear off the floor. "I should be asking you to spill."
"Kirsten, you are not going to get away that easily. I will tell you all the details of my evening in great detail, including an orgasm count, but only after you tell me where you were last night."
"You know me Em, I don't kiss and tell." Emily recognized that glow. She used to have the same facial features after spending time in Newport freshman year. Jimmy was usually the cause of this glow.
"So you kissed?"
"I didn't say that."
"So, what are you saying?"
"I am trying to say nothing."
"Well, that's too bad. You cannot shut me out about this."
Kirsten was getting a little mad about Emily's pushiness. Although she knew this anger was just a result of the anger she felt toward herself. She couldn't believe she was letting her feelings get involved here, when the whole point was to just have fun no strings attached.
"Fine. You want to hear about it? I will tell you. I ran into Sandy at the airport. He was rude to me as usual. He apparently was pissed about the whole Jimmy being here thing. After explaining to him that Jimmy and I were just friends, we hung out last night. I went over there, had some drinks and we smoked. We went to dinner, skinny dipped in the park, kissed on his porch and stopped when things got too be too much. I feel asleep on his couch and here I am. Ok?" She said it all in one breath and in a less than friendly tone.
"Whoa! Wow! Not that I don't have a million questions, but why are you so angry about it?"
Kirsten took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I just..." She tried to search for the words to express her feelings. "I can't even explain it."
"Okay. Lets start with why you are angry. Did he do something that you didn't want to? Oh my God, Kirsten, did he hurt you?"
"No, no, no. Nothing like that. I am mad at myself for feeling the way I do. You don't understand. He is the ultimate charmer. He is smart and you would not believe how sensitive and caring he is. And here I am, falling for, all I know, could be an act. This was supposed to be a game, right? And now I am a mess."
"But you didn't sleep with him?"
"No. But every time we are together and alone, it becomes more and more difficult to resist. And the worst part is that he told me he wants nothing long term. I know this can't go anywhere. I mean, look at the two of us. We couldn't be more wrong for each other in the long run, but it's becoming so hard to make that a reality. He even admitted it to me, which makes this whole thing more confusing."
"What did he admit to you?"
"That his emotions are starting to get involved. That we have to be friends. And we were, right up until the point where we kissed. And then the whole thing went right down the toilet."
"Kirsten, I think you are looking at this the wrong way." Kirsten just looked at her skeptically. "Just hear me out. Maybe Sandy doesn't want to get involved with you because he is scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Well, for starters, you are getting to him and it is probably freaking him out. As long as we have known him, he has never fell for anyone. And now you come along, and now he can't control his emotions. The only way he knows how to keep them in place is to just be friends with you. The only problem is that you are challenging him every time he sees you." Emily paused as she thought back to how this whole thing started. "If you think about it, our planned worked. You actually got him to start falling for you. Good job Kirsten. I knew no one could resist you."
"Great, except now I need to gain some sort of control of the situation."
Emily sighed. "Well that I can't help you with. But if I know Sandy, he will make it easy for you to hate him again." Emily smiled as she left Kirsten to get some sleep.
Sandy was cleaning up the mess from last night as Paul walked through the front door.
"Hey man, how was your break?" He asked as he put his luggage down.
"Short. You're back early?"
"Yeah, actually got back last night. Stayed at Emily's."
'Really? Wow, you guys seem to be getting serious."
"Yeah, it is going well. You cannot believe how easy it is to fall for that girl. I feel like such an ass for saying it, but I think this might be it for me. I can't believe we are embarking on our last semester senior year and I am going to settle down now. Bad timing, huh?" Paul figured Sandy would be the first to agree with the bad timing. Everyone knew this was the time to be reckless and not worry too much about school. But Sandy surprised him.
"No man, I think it's great. She seems really cool." Sandy picked up the two wine glasses and brought them to the kitchen as Paul followed him.
"I heard you had company last night."
"Heard?" Sandy questioned it, knowing Paul must have seen Kirsten since she left his arms.
"Kirsten sort of walked in on Emily and I this morning. We had no idea she was back and she mentioned that you had been back too. I assume you guys spent some time together." He pointed to the wine glasses and the remnants of weed on the table.
What did she say?" Sandy almost jumped as he said this, desperate to know if she said anything about their evening in front of Paul or why she took off on him yet again.
"Easy fella. She didn't say much, although I am sure Emily is getting all the details right now. Girls always talk." Paul needed a segue because he wanted to know as well. "So, what did happen? She obviously spent the night considering she walked in fully dressed from the evening prior."
"So now we're girls?" Sandy asked as he chuckled. "You need to know every detail?"
"Not every detail, but come on, you have to give me something."
"There really is nothing to tell."
"Sandy Cohen not saying anything? This must be big. Either the sex was really good or really, really bad."
"Actually there was no sex at all."
"What? I don't believe that for a second. You were not able to close the deal last night?"
"Paul, it's not about closing any deals with her. I just am having a hard time with this one. I am not sure I even want to sleep with her." He said it softly, in an almost sadden voice.
"Why not? She is definitely one of the top ten hottest girls on this campus. You would have to be either out of your mind or gay if you didn't want to hit that."
"Well I am definitely not gay and Kirsten is making me out of my mind."
"Explain." Paul needed to understand where he was coming from.
"I don't know how to put it into words. I want to fuck her. That part is simple. She is hot, has a killer body, always looks sexy and a lot of fun to be with."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is me. I can't seem to close the deal because I don't think I can walk away from her like I do every other girl. In the past, it has been easy. If a girl is attractive and she wants to have some fun, we have sex, no strings attached, and the next morning we are civil to each other and everything is cool. With Kirsten, we are past the point of that. We are friends now, and I don't think I can have sex with her, and then in the morning, have it mean nothing other than just a good time."
"That's great man. I think it is great that someone has actually broken into that hard shell of yours, unless she doesn't feel the same way
"All I know is that both of us realize that we are wrong for each other in the long run. We are polar opposites. How is that supposed to work?"
"Well you and Rebecca were exactly the same and that didn't work either." Paul made a good point with that one.
"Yeah, I know. It doesn't really matter anyway, because we have decided to be friends anyway. It'll just be easier that way."
"That's what you think!" Paul winked at Sandy, acting like he knew something Sandy didn't. Sandy shook his head in disbelief, having to ignore that last comment.
Sunday NightPaul called Emily around five and Kirsten excused herself from the room so they could have their privacy on the phone. None of the other girls were back yet, so there was still a lot of peace and quiet within the dorms. Emily finally got off the phone and as soon as the words came out of her mouth, Kirsten knew her and Paul were discussing the events of last night.
"Why don't you come with Paul and I to dinner?"
"And be the third wheel? No thanks."
"Well, actually Sandy is coming too."
"So Sandy doesn't mind being a third wheel?"
"Well, we sort of told him you were already coming."
"Emily!"
"Just get dressed. We are meeting them in an hour." Emily made quick exit so Kirsten couldn't make a rebuttal.
As they made their way to the restaurant, Paul brought up something that Sandy hadn't given any thought to. "So I am thinking about asking Emily to be my escort to senior dance tonight. I know we said we would all go alone, but I really want to take her. Plus, Trevor and the other guys are planning on taking someone."
Sandy stared at him in disbelief. "Really? You guys all broke the pact without even letting me in on it? Great!"
"We figured out of all of us, you would be the last one that would need time to scrounge up a date. You can ask any number of girls and have no problems."
They arrived at the restaurant and sat at the bar waiting for the girls to arrive. Paul was discussing with Sandy all the options for how he was going to ask her. Sandy was only half listening, his mind occupied with who he was going to take. Then he saw her. Kirsten dressed in red. It took his breath away. Why did this girl always have to looked that stunning. As they were walking down the street, Paul leaned over to Sandy, "You should ask her. I know that is what you are thinking."
"No way! And be the only senior, in all of Berkeley, that doesn't get laid that night! You have got to be kidding."
Paul and Emily shared a kiss as they greeted one another as Kirsten and Sandy didn't know what to do.
They just stood there staring at each other awkwardly. Eventually they followed Emily and Paul into the restaurant. Dinner was uneventful, the conversation focusing on safe topics such as music, upcoming finals and plans for their long break in between semesters. There was a band playing at soft music and a few people dancing, and like a light bulb, an idea went off in Paul's head.
"Emily, come dance with me."
"Here?"
"Why not?" Paul as hoping she would just agree.
"Okay." She smiled, took Paul's hand, and made their way out to he dance floor.
Kirsten and Sandy were left at the table with nothing to say. They were both watching how happy Paul and Emily looked. Sandy, always the one to break silences, spoke first. "You know, he is really happy. I have never seen him this way before. It's a good thing."
Kirsten smiled thinking of her conversations with Emily. "Yeah. I know that she is excited about them. I think this is going to be it for her. She is ready to settle down."
Sandy couldn't ignore it anymore. "And you? Are you ready to settle down?"
"I don't know. Maybe, but I still feel like I am too young to make that decision."
He smiled. "I know what you mean."
After they danced, Emily gave Kirsten the signal to come to the ladies room. Obviously she wanted to tell her something.
"Paul asked me to go to Senior Dance with him. Can you believe it?"
"I can believe it. Sandy was just telling me how happy you make Paul. It's great Em." Kirsten meant every word she said. She was truly happy for Emily, but other thoughts plagued her mind. Who was Sandy taking? Everyone knew what happened after Senior Dance. It was like the prom, but instead of adolescents thinking of sex, adults were definitely having sex. She knew there was no way Sandy would ever ask her.
He would ask someone who was more of a sure thing. She wasn't stupid.
The guys asked if they wanted to come back to the house for a few drinks. Who were they to reject such an offer? As they made their way back, Sandy and Kirsten trailed behind Paul and Emily. Sandy, again needed to speak. "So what's with you taking off in the morning? Is that a habit you make when spending the night with a guy?"
"Well, I don't spend that many nights with different guys, but I have a thing about personal space and intimacy."
"Huh?" Sandy couldn't imagine how this girl became so guarded.
"Well, sex is sex, right? There is foreplay, the actually deed, and then it is over. But cuddling and sleeping next to someone the entire night is intimacy. It is just not something that comes easy for me. That comfort level is something that has to be earned and respected." She laughed at herself. " I know, it sounds stupid, but I can't help it."
"No, it makes sense. I guess I never knew a girl that respected herself as much as you do." He thought about what to say next. "I want to bring up last night, but I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what? I think you and I made a sound decision. Don't you?"
"Yeah. I think so." He put his head down, ashamed that he was wearing his heart on his sleeve and she didn't even notice.
She noticed and couldn't leave him like that. They arrived at the house and saw there were a few people inside. "Sandy, you have to stop wearing blue shirts. Your eyes pierce through me which is not good for our friendship." She walked ahead of him and into the house right behind Paul and Emily. Sandy just smiled to himself, happy to know she felt the attraction between them as well.
The first person Kirsten noticed was Michael when she walked in the house. Michael lived in the house and was in the same Art History program as Kirsten. Of course, as a senior, he was almost done.
Michael greeted everyone as they came through the door. He must have just gotten back because all of his stuff was in the living room. He walked up to Kirsten just as Sandy walked in the door. He pulled her into a hug. "Kirsten, hey, it is so good to see you!"
Kirsten always liked Michael. He was a really nice guy and they always had their art program to talk about. "Hey Michael. It's good to see you."
"You too, you look incredible. Gearing up for finals?"
"Yeah, but mostly trying not to think about them."
"Well if you need any help, I am available any time." That was when he noticed Sandy staring at him.
"Good to see you Sandy. How was your break?"
"It was great. Glad to see you back." Kirsten knew he was lying about both parts. She could see it in his eyes. "Excuse me a minute." Sandy made his way to his bedroom and Michael offered Kirsten a drink. Kirsten followed him in the kitchen and sat on the a stool at the counter.
As Michael poured the drink, he asked, "So, are you Sandy on a date or something?"
Kirsten laughed. "That was blunt."
"I was just curious. It wouldn't surprise me. Sandy is very good with the ladies."
"I am sure he is, but the answer is no. We just went to dinner with Paul and Emily. Why?"
"Just wondering." Sandy made his way back to the kitchen and opened he fridge to grab a beer. Kirsten noticed why he went to the bedroom. He was now wearing a grey t-shirt. Unfortunately, he still looked amazing. Great, blue, green, black, it didn't matter. Michael interrupted her thoughts. "So Cohen, you got a few messages while you were out. Jessica, Michelle, Jennifer and one other girl who refused to give me their name saying you would know who she was, called. It looks like they are all trying to be asked to Senior Dance."
Sandy wanted to die. He knew this didn't look good in front of Kirsten. She was really getting a glimpse into his playboy life. "Thanks, but I doubt that is why they were calling. Up until tonight, I thought we were all going alone, but Paul asked Emily already."
"Yeah, the rest of the guys have already narrowed down their choices."
Sandy looked at Kirsten and instead of looking hurt, she looked amused. "What are you smiling at?"
"This whole thing cracks me up. How do you guys actually choose? Is there some sort of rating scale or just a random lottery?"
Michael interrupted them. "Definite rating scale!"
"Really? Wow. Do you each have your own rating system or is there a set standard?"
Sandy didn't want this to go any further. "For the record, I do not rate anyone." He turned toward his bedroom and call it a night before his gentleman instincts kicked in. He turned back to Kirsten. "Do you need me to walk you back to campus? Emily is probably going to stay the night."
"I can walk you back." Michael jumped in before Kirsten got to answer.
"I'm a big girl Sandy. I can get back on my own."
"Mike, don't let her walk back by herself. Good night." Sandy knew there was no way he was going to sleep. All he kept thinking about was Michael and how he flirted with Kirsten. He was a good guy. He knew that he could be trusted and it really wasn't Sandy's place to decide who was okay for Kirsten to hang out with.
He laid on his bed as he heard her laugh through he thin walls of the house. She stayed with Michael for almost two hours before he heard them leave together. How could he be upset about this? He had no right, plus she had been so cool about the number of girls that called the house earlier. I guess this is what friendship is, he thought. It just sucked.
As Kirsten approached the front of her dorm, Michael told her again that if she needed help studying just to let him know. Kirsten thought that she would probably take him up on his offer because he could truly help her. Deep down, Kirsten knew his intentions were elsewhere. She knew how guys thought and it was fine. He was a nice enough guy and it would help her get over this whole Sandy debacle. The only draw back was that he lived with Sandy. Hopefully that wouldn't complicate things.
First Two Weeks of DecemberThe weeks were flying by and the end of the semester was approaching rapidly. Everyone was gearing up for finals and the upcoming three and a half week break. The Senior Dance was always on the last day of finals making it a major stress relieving event. Sandy was looking forward to going home knowing that this will be the last time back in New York until he is a college graduate. There was spring break of course, but Sandy and his housemates always traveled away for that.
Kirsten was not particularly looking forward to three weeks in Newport, but she planned on coming back to Berkeley early and putting in some hours at the gallery if she could. She had spoken to Jimmy and he said he would be home for the same amount of time so how bad could it be?
Kirsten had not seen Sandy at all for the past two weeks, but little did she know he saw her. She would hate to admit it but she caught herself looking for him at times. She always saw him at The Black Oak, but since she had been so busy studying for finals, she was not there in her usual spot on Friday evenings.
The first time Sandy saw Kirsten after he left her in his living room with Michael, she was on campus, sitting in the quad, books spread all around her. He started to make his way over when he saw her look up from her books and smile at someone. When he got a little closer, he realized it was Michael. He sat down next to her, picking up one of her books and pointing something out. She smiled that million dollar smile that Sandy loved when it was directed his way. He was not too fond of it right then and there.
The second time he saw her, she was in the library, again with Michael. Sandy started to get a bad feeling about this. He should have never left the two of them alone that night. He just shook his head, knowing jealousy was not an attractive trait. He wanted to approach them, but had no idea what to say.
The third time he saw her, they were together again. They were strolling down the main street together and Sandy thought his stomach did a flip flop when he saw Michael put his arm around her. He then felt the bile rise to his mouth when she looked up at him and smiled. What was going on with those two? Paul had not said a word to him about it, but he must know something. Emily must have said something.
Sandy knew he needed to focus on something else. He figured he needed to figure out who he was going to ask to the Senior Dance. It had to be someone that he would have fun with at the dance and afterwards as well. It would be a long night and this person had to somewhat hold his attention. He eventually settled on Tracy, knowing she wouldn't get the wrong impression of this date and she was always a good time.
After that was settled, his mind still drifted back to Kirsten. He figured he would just ask Michael what was going on with the two of them. Besides, Kirsten was his friend and he wanted to make sure he was treating her right.
Kirsten knew she was spending a lot of time with Michael. She did everything in her power to keep all the meeting places out in public, not wanting to be put in the situation of going to the house. That is how she described the living arrangement with all the guys. The House. It wasn't Sandy's house, nor Paul's, nor Michael's. It was their home.
Finals had officially started and Kirsten couldn't get her mind off Sandy. Where the hell had he been for the past two weeks? Since, she hadn't been out, she didn't know if he had either. She could have asked Allison, but she didn't want to hear the teasing. Kirsten just pretended like she didn't care. She knew Michael was trying to initiate something between them with the gentle touches, the arms around her, but there was nothing physical between them other than that. Kirsten was thankful for that because she already had too much on her plate.
Wednesday (A Week Before the Dance)
Kirsten had a big final on Thursday and knew she really needed Michael to help her study for this one. She eventually asked him if he could help her and he obliged with one major condition. He needed to use is word processor to type something up and had to do it from home.
"You can come over here and I can help you, but I really have to get this stuff done. Don't worry though.
The house has been relatively quiet since most of the guys have been studying on campus."
Kirsten thought about it for a second and figured what was the harm. She was just studying and the chance of Sandy being home were slim. "Sure. Seven okay?"
"See you then."
Kirsten didn't bother getting all made up to look her best. She threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and hurried out the door. When she arrived at the familiar house, Michael opened the door before she even started walking up the steps to the porch. "Hey."
"Hi Michael. Thanks for helping me tonight. I really appreciate it. I need to ace this thing tomorrow. I feel like I am ready, but just want to make sure I am not forgetting anything."
As she reached the door, he leaned in a kissed her on the cheek. Kirsten was surprised, but recovered quickly and smiled, trying to avoid any awkwardness.
"So, before we start, I have something I wanted to ask you. That is why I wanted you to come here tonight. I was wondering if you would go to Senior Dance with me?"
Kirsten smiled thinking about the last conversation they had about that. "So, I measure well on your rating scale?"
"Oh yeah. Top notch!" He smiled just hoping she would say yes.
"Okay, but I have one condition."
"Name it." He didn't care at this point. He would agree to anything if he got to walk in with her on his arm.
"There will be no pre-determined ideas about what happens after the dance."
He looked at her confused so she explained. "Sex. Just because I said yes to the dance does not mean I am saying yes to sex after the dance."
"That's fine, although it's not completely out of the question right?"
"Umm...right."
"Well that's good, but I promise, no pressure. We are having the after party here and invited pretty much everyone, so I can promise a fun night."
"Okay then. Yes." Kirsten thought about Sandy and wondered if he had a date and how he would react to this. He shouldn't care. They were just friends. Why does he keep popping up in her head? "So do all the guys here have dates yet?"
"Yeah. I am the last one. I was still working up the nerve to ask you when they were all locking in their choices."
Kirsten laughed, thinking how cute he was, being so honest with her.
About an hour later they were studying in the living room when Sandy waltzed in. Kirsten looked up and seeing him made her heart skip a beat. It felt like months since she saw those eyes. Sandy had his head down and didn't see Kirsten there. She now wished she never agreed to come to the house. Sandy was sure to jump to conclusions although she wasn't even sure what there was to conclude to.
"Hey man, how were your exams today?" Michael was always so friendly and never caught on to the awkwardness Kirsten was feeling at that moment.
Sandy looked up and saw Michael for a split second before his attention was drawn to Kirsten. His first thought was how much he missed her these past few weeks. His second thought was in the form of a question. Why was she there? With Michael? Again? He didn't take his eyes off her as he responded. "They went well. Can't wait for this week to be over."
"Cool man. We are just wrapping up here as well. I have to go to my room and get some paper. I'll be right back." As Michael headed toward his room, Kirsten didn't know what to do, so she just went back to reading.
"What? You don't see me in a few weeks and you can't even say hello?" Sandy wanted to make this as comfortable as possible for the both of them.
She looked right at him as he made his way over to sit next to her on the couch. "No. I just feel a little weird about being here since the last time I was here, on this couch, I was with you." She said it almost in a whisper.
"Yeah. That worked out so well for us huh?"
She had to laugh at him since he was making light of the situation. "Yeah. And this is not weird at all." That was sarcasm. She didn't know how else to reply.
"Not that it's any of my business, but as my friend, I am curious. What is going on with you two?"
"Curious huh?"
"You don't have to answer. It really is none of my business."
"Nothing. Well I mean, he has been helping me with my finals, but nothing is really going on."
Sandy visibly relaxed after she said that. It made him feel good that she felt comfortable to answer his question, and more importantly, admit that she felt weird being there. He felt the weirdness too.
Michael came back with paper in his hand and Sandy dismissed himself to bed. Kirsten started packing up her books and putting on her jacket. "I have to get going, but again Michael, thank you." She started for the front door and Michael followed her out.
Right at that very moment, Sandy came out of his bedroom and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. That was when he heard Kirsten leaving and Michael saying. "You don't have to thank me. Thank you for agreeing to come with me to Senior Dance. I can't wait." Then Sandy heard silence. He couldn't help himself. He had to see what was going on. As he peaked his head around the corner, he saw Michael and Kirsten lip locked and it crushed him. Why would she say nothing was going on? Why would she lie to him? He turned back into the kitchen, not wanting to be caught staring. He heard them say their goodbyes and the door shut. He knew it was safe to come out.
"So you and Kirsten are getting close huh?" Sandy couldn't help himself. He needed to hear both sides of the story.
'"Yeah. I think so. She is a bit guarded, but I think she is coming around. She's great though, isn't she?"
"She's that." That was all Sandy could muster in the verbal department.
"Dude, are you okay? There is nothing between the two of you, right?"
"Why would you think that?" Sandy was intrigued now.
"Well Kirsten talks about you a lot and I just want to make sure I am not violating any type of guy code here."
"Mike, you have nothing to worry about. But thanks for asking." Why did Michael have to be such a good guy, Sandy thought.
Kirsten took her final the next day and she felt pretty good about acing it. She was excited that she was almost done with exams and was looking forward to the dance. She went the year before and knew how much fun it was. She thought things went well with Michael and felt that her honesty about the whole sex thing worked in her favor. She didn't want to lie to him about it, she felt bad enough telling that white lie to Sandy. Sandy. Why did her mind keep drifting back to him? Stop it, she kept telling herself.
Sandy saw her walking out of one of the academic buildings and couldn't let go of the fact that she lied to him last night. Why did she have to lie? He hated liars. He need to face this head on. He practically sprinted across the lawn to reach her and she laughed when she noticed him.
"Hey! Anxious to talk to me?" She asked playfully knowing he was out of breath from running.
"Actually I am. You and I are friends, right?"
"Sandy, why do we keep asking each other and confirming that?"
"Just answer the question, Kirsten."
Why was he acting like this? She obliged to get on with whatever urgent matter it was Sandy needed to talk to her about. "Yes, we're friends." She was making her way to the library wishing the location of the building was closer than it was. She needed to escape to a place where talking was frowned upon. She had a bad feeling about where this conversation was heading.
"Then as my friend, why would you lie right to my face?"
"What are you talking about?" She knew this had to be about Michael, but she wasn't going to disclose any information until she was sure.
"Don't play dumb Kirsten. I asked you if there was anything going on between you and Michael and you lied."
"I did not!" She was getting mad. Why was he always so accusing?
"You did to. You said there was nothing going on and then I found out you are going to Senior Dance with him. Why would you lie about that? I don't care, god knows I have no right to care, but it makes no sense to why you would go out of your way to lie about it."
"You asked me if there was anything going on between us and the answer is no. Not like the way there is something ..." She stopped. She didn't want to say it. She was not going to admit that she was suppressing feelings for him. Sure, she thought Michael was a great guy and had great potential to be someone she could get serious with, but that was not something she was going to share with Sandy. She wasn't even sure that was what she wanted.
"Like the way what? Kirsten, just say it." Sandy figured he just basically come out and make her say what she was thinking.
"I wasn't going to say anything. Yes, we are going to Senior Dance together. He asked me last night, but that doesn't mean there is anything going on between us."
"Stop lying! I saw you kissing him last night. Why do you feel the need to lie to me?"
"Why do you feel the need to interrogate me? You know what Sandy, that girl Rebecca? She must have done some number on you to be so skeptical of everyone else around you."
"This has nothing to do with Rebecca. Please don't bring her into this." Sandy said this with such force, it almost scared her.
"Fine!" Now Kirsten was yelling. She knew she had to remain calm if she was going to get anywhere with him. "Why does it matter to you?"
"Why does what matter?"
It was his turn to be backed down. "The way I see it, you have no right to care about anything I do. What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to ask me to the dance? I knew that wasn't going to happen. I didn't see the harm in going with Michael. I am sorry I lied to you, but I really didn't see it as a lie. I should have told you he asked me, but I didn't think it mattered. You've got your date and I already told Michael to expect what you guys all expect at the end of that night." Now Kirsten was getting mad at herself. "I don't even know why I am telling you any of this! You don't deserve to know anything."
They finally arrived at the library steps and Kirsten started her way up them. Sandy stayed at the bottom but called after her. "You didn't give me the chance to ask you."
Kirsten started coming back down, refusing to yell in front of other students. "Bullshit, Sandy. You already had your date when I agreed to go with Michael. Now who's the one lying?"
She waited for him to respond, but when he didn't she continued. "It really doesn't matter. I am going with Michael and you are clearly going with someone who can give you what you want at the end of the night. You are just scared shit for that girl to be me."
She started to turn around and walk back up the steps when he grabbed her arm. He needed to say something. He needed to say anything that would make sense. "What about the kiss?"
"What about it? It was just a kiss Sandy. I am a big girl. I can take care of myself."
"You know, he is going to try and get you in the sack after the dance, right?"
Kirsten needed to come up with a response that would drive him crazy. She thought about it and smiled. "Well then, good thing the after party is back at your house. Accommodations will be easy to come by!" And with that Kirsten pulled her arm out of his grip, spun around and walked up the stairs. She couldn't believe his nerve. She couldn't believe that he could take some skanky girl to the dance, and do whatever he wanted with her and yet question her actions and behavior. Talk about a double standard!
Sandy couldn't believe her. She couldn't seriously have made up her mind already about sleeping with Michael. He knew if she did, there could never be anything between them. He and Michael were roommates and above that, friends. The worst part was that Michael was a good guy. He even gave Sandy the opportunity to express his feeling toward Kirsten. He started second guessing his decision not to ask Kirsten to the dance, but he knew better. His reasons for wanting to go with her shouldn't be because he didn't want her to go with anyone else. His reasons should be because he, himself wanted to take her and that sadly wasn't the case. He knew where the night would take them and he was not prepared to go there with her. And how dare she bring up Rebecca. She didn't know the first thing about his relationship with her. Kirsten could never understand how badly he was hurt and how badly he intended for that to never happen again.
Friday Night Before The DanceEveryone was gathered at The Black Oak to blow off steam from their begrudging week of finals. Most students still had a few left to take, but needed to return to some normalcy and that meant a Friday night at the bar. Kirsten and her friends arrived later than they wanted to, but Sandy had been there for a few hours already. He figured he would take Tracy out one time before the dance. He had not spent much time with her lately and wanted to catch up and get reacquainted. She was a great listener and always full of jokes and laughter. They were about six drinks in and Tracy was starting to become a little forward with her actions toward him. Sandy wasn't about to complain. It actually felt good to revert back to his old ways and not have to make any effort to get a few compliments and inuendos thrown his way.
Of course, his night came to a screeching halt as soon as he saw Kirsten walk in. Michael was standing at the bar, not too far from Sandy, who noticed his immediate departure to greet Kirsten.
"Who's that?" Tracy asked, noting Sandy's eyes were no longer focused on her.
"Just this girl I am friends with." He didn't want to talk about Kirsten. "How about a body shot? Like old times?"
"Tequila?" She asked.
"What else!" Sandy ordered two shots from the bar, complete with a salt shaker and two lemons. Tracy's back was to Kirsten, setting Sandy perfectly in her line of vision. He grabbed the salt shaker and leaned in to lick her neck. His eyes met Kirsten's as he picked his head up. He looked back at Tracy and poured the salt over the wet spot provided by Sandy. He leaned back in to lick the salt off her neck and throw the shot down his throat. Tracy used this time to put the lemon half sticking out of mouth. Sandy couldn't help but look at Kirsten. He wanted to make sure she was watching, hoping it would make her jealous. He looked back at Tracy and leaned in to suck the lemon. Tracy knew this game and after he got a taste of lemon, she dropped it, making sure he got a taste of her lips.
Sandy's eyes were wide showing that he was surprised. He didn't want Kirsten to see that. His intent was not to hurt her.
"Don't look so surprised Sandy. You knew what was coming." She smiled as she picked up the salt. Kirsten tried to look away, but it was like a bad car wreck. You really don't want to see it, but you can't turn your head away.
"He was always good with the ladies. You can't deny him that." Michael noticed Kirsten staring, not realizing what Sandy's behavior was doing to her.
"Obviously, but why does he have to behave like that in public?"
"He usually doesn't, but considering he has been in that same spot at the bar for about 3 hours now, you can't expect him to act sober."
"True." She continued to stare as it was now Tracy's turn to do the shot off of Sandy. She licked his neck and Sandy shut his eyes, enjoying the warm moisture on his neck. She poured the salt and repeated her actions. As she turned to do the shot, Sandy took the lemon and put it in his mouth, but that was not what Tracy wanted. She grabbed the lemon out of his mouth and wedged it between his stomach and the button of his pants. He looked at her smiling knowing how much she loved giving blow jobs. She bent down and sucked the lemon, her hands running up his thighs. She picked her head up and took the lemon with her and pulled it out of her mouth.
Kirsten couldn't stand to watch anymore. If that was the type of thing and the type of girl Sandy wanted, then it was better off that they were friends. Sandy had been right all along. Kirsten knew she could never be that girl. She could never be that self confident and oblivious to the public eye around her. She knew he saw her staring and didn't want him to think he got the best of her.
"I'm going to the bar. Do you need another beer?" She figured since Michael bought her a drink, she would reciprocate.
'No, I'm good. Do you need a body shot?"
"Nice try, but I reserve that kind of behavior for the bedroom." She walked away but he grabbed her by the waist pulling her around to face him.
"Do you mean my bedroom Wednesday night?"
She laughed feeling uncomfortable, but he sensed it and let her out of his embrace. "I thought we talked about that already."
"You talked and I hoped you were playing mind games." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the mouth. It was short and sweet, but she couldn't help but turn around to check if Sandy saw. She got her answer as their eyes locked and she looked away.
Michael wasn't an idiot and saw what was going on. "Kirsten, you and Sandy obviously have something between you even though neither of you will admit it. You guys have been staring at each other all night."
"Sandy and I are just friends. I swear."
"Okay." Michael didn't want to hear anymore. He was happy with that answer even if he didn't believe it to be the truth. "If you are still going to the bar, I can use a beer."
Kirsten made her way right next to Sandy and ordered a glass of wine for herself and a beer for Michael. She didn't dare look at Sandy, although she could feel his eyes burning through the side of her head.
"Wow, I have to take lessons from the master." Sandy's words were slurred and she didn't have a clue to what he was talking about.
"Okay. I'll bite. What are you talking about?"
"God, you look good." He couldn't help it, he was drunk.
"What are you talking about?" She had to be firm and not fall for his lies.
He smiled loving her toughness. "Well, Michael must be the master. Not only are you going to the dance with him, but you are fetching him beers too. I tell ya, that guy is something else."
Kirsten knew, right then and there, she hated drunk Sandy. "Wow, I didn't think you were paying attention to anything tonight other then girls with their head in your crotch."
"Well, if you want me to pay attention to you, you can always..."
"Don't!"
"Don't what, Kirsten?"
Kirsten kept telling herself to stay calm and she did. "Don't disrespect me. It was the only thing you had going for you right up until that last line."
"I'm sorry." She was right and he knew it. Kirsten paid the bartender and grabbed her drinks and started to walk away. She turned around only after she heard his last comment.
"Don't sleep with him, Kirsten."
"What?"
How could she not know what he was talking about? "Michael. Don't sleep with him."
She walked back over to him and said, "Sorry to say Sandy, but you really have no input on that matter."
"I'm serious, Kirsten. If you sleep with him, you and I can never happen."
"How drunk are you?"
"He is my friend Kirsten. I can't cross that line if you cross it first."
"Here's a valid question Sandy. Since when are you and I going to happen? I thought we already crossed that bridge."
Sandy stared at her like a deer in headlights. She could see the fear in his eyes. Right at that moment, Tracy came back and took her place beside Sandy.
"That line for the bathroom was forever." Tracy then noticed Kirsten and introduced herself. Kirsten was polite and shook her hand, but when Kirsten introduced herself she saw Sandy start to visibly squirm.
"Oh, so you're Kirsten."
"I'm Kirsten, why?"
"It's just that I have heard a lot about you the past few hours."
"Really?" Kirsten couldn't help but smile. She grabbed her two drinks and excused herself from the argument that was about to take place. She made her way back over to Michael.
The evening ended with Sandy walking out the door after Tracy who seemed a little pissed off. Kirsten had to assume it was because of how mad Sandy got about her revealing that priceless information. Michael decided that he would excuse himself and help get Sandy home. He, of course, asked Kirsten first, which made her wish she felt something for him. He was such a nice guy. At least she knew she would have fun at the dance.
Wednesday Night - The DanceThe past few days had been hell for Sandy. Not only did he have two very difficult finals to tackle, but he completely lost Saturday as a study day. He was so hung over so could barely get out of bed. He spent the entire day Sunday stoned, trying to numb the pain of the hangover. He ended up cramming for his exams, knowing that wasn't the best route to take. He also spent time tracking down Tracy to apologize for being an ass. She wasn't mad. She wasn't the type of girl to hold a grudge. She basically told Sandy he was acting like a child when it came to Kirsten. Sandy didn't want to hear it, but he didn't want to piss her off anymore. He still wanted to take her to the dance. There was no way he could go alone now.
Kirsten was excited for tonight. She loved getting dressed up, even though it reminded her of home. She didn't get to do it in Berkeley very often, so it was very unlike all of the Newport events she had been to her entire life. Plus, she wasn't under the constant surveillance of her father.
This event was known as one of Berkeley's best. Everyone met on campus and were put on a bus to an undisclosed location away from Berkeley. Usually the catering hall was located in San Francisco, which was always a good time. Most students didn't get to take advantage of what that city had to offer because of lack of monetary funds or just lack of time.
Kirsten decided on a black halter style dress, leaving her back exposed way down to her thong lining. She wore her hair swept up off her neck and away from her face, showing off her angled features. If there was one thing she knew about, it was how to carry herself in a formal social setting.
Paul and Michael stopped by Kirsten & Emily's dorm room so they didn't have to walk over to the buses alone. Emily was still finishing up, and Paul went in their room to ease her mind. Kirsten couldn't understand why she was so nervous.
"Hi." Michael seemed nervous as well. He looked really nice in a tux, but completely uncomfortable. "You look amazing."
"Thank you." Why was it so easy to accept a compliment from Michael, but not from Sandy. Why was it that every time Sandy said something positive toward her, she couldn't even look him in the eye?
They made their way to the bus and Kirsten immediately spotted Sandy through the swarms of people. She felt like she could have found those eyes in any crowd. He looked incredible, dressed in a tux, and looking confident and poised, like he has been attending these types of things his whole life. She turned away from him, not wanting him to know that just looking at him got her wet.
The bus ride was uneventful except for the constant laughing and loud jokes coming from Sandy and the rest of the guys. Michael was one of the quiet ones, just chiming in every now and then. Kirsten was just like him, smiling and laughing in all the appropriate places.
Sandy saw Kirsten the minute she arrived with Michael. They didn't seem very affectionate toward one another, happy he didn't have to see that. He hated seeing her with anyone, let alone Michael who he knew was damn near perfect. She looked absolutely beautiful. Did she have one flaw? He couldn't look at her for long periods of time, otherwise he would keep thinking of how he wanted her in his arms.
They arrived in San Francisco arrived at the Mark Hopkins Hotel. The top floor was decorated for the event, plus it had three hundred and sixty degree views of the entire city. The place was gorgeous and they prided themselves on making over a hundred different types of martinis, something that was a rare occurrence at any bar in Berkeley.
The five guys from the house and their dates all shared a table. Kirsten did her very best not to look at Sandy. She was keeping her eyes on her plate, her drink, Michael, Emily, the band, the views, anywhere but on those piercing blue eyes.
Sandy could sense Kirsten was not comfortable. She kept moving her head around, not really focusing on one thing. She was only partially paying attention to the conversation around the table and barely finished one drink. He just hoped her behavior had nothing to do with Michael.
"Do you ant to go over to one of the windows and check out the view? I see you keep looking over that way." Michael was aware of how uncomfortable she was, wondering if it had to do with Sandy.
"Yes. That would be nice." She got up and he grabbed her hand and walked toward one of the floor to ceiling windows. Sandy cringed at the physical contact between them, even if it was just the holding of hands. He kept his eyes on her as they made their way over to the window. Michael stood behind her, his arms on either side of her waist, leaning on the window ledge.
"You realize if you don't do something about her, she is going to drive you nuts." Tracy knew Sandy pretty well. They had the same type of personality and could read each other pretty well.
"I know. I just don't know what I want to do." Sandy kept his eyes on her bare back wishing it was him pointing out parts of the city skyline, whispering in her ear.
"Well you better figure it out because she doesn't look like the type of girl that waits for anything."
Sandy wanted to explain where his confusion was and hope that Tracy could put him on the right path to a clear mind. "It's just that..." He struggled with the words. "You know me, right? You get that I can't be tied down by anyone."
"Come on, I thought you liked being tied."
He laughed, thinking back to how crazy she really was. "I am trying to be serious here."
"I'm sorry. Go ahead."
"Well, she has made it clear that she doesn't want anything serious anyway."
"So, what's the problem? The way I see it, there shouldn't be..." Then it hit Tracy like a ton of bricks. "Unless you are falling for her. Are you falling for her?" asked Tracy in disbelief.
He smiled sheepishly, "I don't know. I can't be the boyfriend type. I can't go back to being that guy, but with her, I can't be myself and treat her like any other girl."
Kirsten was enjoying the aerial tour she was getting from Michael. "Would you like to dance?" Kirsten looked over to the dance floor, happy to see others dancing, and accepted. She didn't want to be the only ones out there. She hated that there was a condition to her acceptance. She saw Sandy staring right at her as Michael pulled her close.
"Sandy, do you want to know what I think?"
"I don't know. Are you going to bruise my ego?" Sandy was happy he could be so honest with her.
"Well you are going to hear it anyway. You are thinking about it too much. I think you just have to go for it and see how it plays out. If you don't take a chance, then you will never know how things could be. If it doesn't work out, then you won't have to live with all the indecisiveness."
His eyes never left them on the dance floor. He knew Tracy was right and maybe so was Kirsten. Maybe he was just scared, not that he would ever admit that to her.
Michael noticed Sandy staring and needed to address the situation with Kirsten. "I know I have asked you this before, but I really need you to tell me the truth."
Kirsten pulled herself back from him and looked into his eyes wondering what he was talking about.
He continued with, "I know you said you and Sandy were just friends and even though you might feel that way, he definitely doesn't. He never looks at anyone the way he looks at you. I just haven't put all the pieces together yet."
"Michael..." Kirsten was hesitant. She didn't know what to say, especially that she could see the hurt in his eyes. "Sandy and I have a complicated relationship. When I told you that we are friends, that was not a lie. We are friends, but there is always this tension between us. When I told you that I wanted to come to this dance with you, that was the truth as well. That is why I wanted to make it clear from the beginning that you and I would come as friends. That sex was probably not in the cards for tonight. I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I really was not trying to deceive you in any way."
Michael was upset. He really started to like Kirsten, but he knew her heart wasn't into it. He could tell by the way she looked at him. There was no burning desire in her eyes. That look was reserved for Sandy, he knew it and there was nothing he could do. "Okay. I appreciate your honesty, but I hope you are still going to come to the after-party and hang out for the rest of the night." He posed it as a question, waiting for her reply.
Kirsten replied in the form of a smile. "Of course I am still coming. I wouldn't miss it."
It took every piece of dignity Sandy could scrape to make his way over to Kirsten. Their last encounter at the bar was not his finest moment. Michael saw him coming, Kirsten's back facing him. "Hey Michael. Do you mind if I cut in? I think I owe Kirsten an apology from the other night."
Michael looked at him, his ego bruised a little bit, but would never say no. "Sandy, you don't need an excuse. Kirsten, is it okay with you?" Michael was always looking out for her best interest.
Kirsten finally looked up at Sandy and her knees went weak. "Sure. Thank you Michael."
Michael excused himself and figured he would get a drink. There was no need to stay completely sober now. He knew where this night was taking him and it was nowhere near Kirsten. Although he was happy she was honest with him, he couldn't help but feel disappointed.
Kirsten and Sandy stood there awkwardly until Sandy made the first move. He gently took her small hand in his and held it close to his heart. She tentatively put his other hand on her bare back. She felt his warm hand against her skin and was trying not to visibly shiver. Little did he know, skin-to-skin contact was giving her goose bumps.
He looked in her eyes and held her gaze before saying, "You have no idea what it took for me to come over here." He smiled at her, hoping for her warm up a bit.
No such luck. "I'm glad I intimidate you." She didn't smile, just stared at him expectantly, seeming like she was waiting for him to continue.
"I'm sorry for Friday night. I was drunk and words were just coming out of my mouth. It's not how I truly felt. I never meant to disrespect you in any way."
"You should always say what you mean and mean what you say, Sandy." She repeated his words from a few weeks back.
"I know." He looked down at their feet and watched them both move, enjoying the fact, at this point that she just wasn't fleeing the scene. There was a comfortable silence between them and they were just enjoying the embrace.
"You should never blame public drunkenness on the things you say. You always mean what you say when you are drunk."
"I know that too."
"Do you even remember what you said to me?"
"I remember suggestion you do something to get my attention. That was why I was apologizing. I know how degrading that must have been to hear."
She finally laughed. "Do you remember what else you said?"
"Yes. I just didn't want you to make a mistake."
"So sleeping with Michael would be a mistake in your eyes?"
"Come on Kirsten, you know it would."
"Maybe." How could she not agree with him? It would be a monumental mistake.
The song continued as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her bare back, willing her to come closer to him. He didn't know what it was about this girl, he just constantly needed to feel close to her. It was never enough. He always wanted more.
"Why does this feel so right?" He wanted her to know how he was feeling.
She pulled back to look into his eyes. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. "Wow, you're not even drunk."
"I'm serious." He laughed at her trying to get a read, wondering what she was thinking. "When I am with you, it's like everyone and everything else goes away."
"I know."
"You looking beautiful tonight. You always look great, but tonight, you took take my breath away."
Kirsten put her head down, taking her turn to look at their feet as they shuffled to the music.
He put his lips close to her ear and whispered, "Just say thank you."
Her eyes met his once again and she smiled. "Thank you. You clean up well. I would have never thought you would like wearing a tux."
"Who said I did?"
"You just look so comfortable in it, like you have been wearing them your whole life."
"Yeah right."
The song was coming to an end and Sandy wanted to freeze time. He knew it wasn't the end of seeing her for the evening but figured this was the last time he would be able to hold her. "You are coming back to the house right?"
"Yeah. You guys always throw a great party. I wouldn't miss it."
He finally let her go when they song changed and she could break herself away from those eyes. "Thanks for the dance. I am glad you cut in." And with that she was gone. She walked back over to Michael as he made his way to the bar. He needed a drink to calm himself down. He saw Michael and felt he needed to explain.
"Sorry for the interruption. I promise that will be the last one."
"Sandy, if I would have known you wanted to take Kirsten, I would have never asked her."
"Mike, I already was going with Tracy. It is fine."
"Speaking of which, she is a wild one huh?
Sandy laughed, wondering how he knew that. "You have no idea."
"Yes, I do. She just propositioned me to the coat room. I wanted to wait until you were done before I accepted. I know Kirsten and I are not going to happen. I'm not an idiot. I can see how she looks at you."
"You are too nice for your own good Mike. Have fun!"
Kirsten was seated back at the table with Emily when they all decided to call it a night. They eventually made their way back to the house, which was packed with Berkeley seniors in no time. The music was blaring and the drinks were flowing. Sandy only had a few drinks wanting to remember the night. He was having fun just watching Kristen make drinks.
"You need a better blender."
"You do realize five guys live here right? It's not often we make drinks that blend."
"You don't know what you're missing."
He moved closer to her. "Yes I do." He clearly was not talking about the drinks. "My eyes can't get enough of you and I can't tell you what my body is doing."
She arched an eyebrow looking right at his crotch. She didn't notice anything that shouldn't be there, but she was hoping she had that affect on him. "Do you want me to tell you what my body is doing?"
"No! Please don't. I don't think I can handle it." She smiled and turned around to finish making her drink. Sandy made his way over to Michael who was now in very close proximity of Tracy.
"Hey man, can I talk to you a sec?"
"Sure." Michael started to walk away from Tracy and follow Sandy to the corner of the living room. Michael figured Sandy might have been mad about making a move on Tracy. "Are you mad?"
"No. Why would you think I'm mad?"
"Tracy." One word explaining a lot more to Sandy.
"No, not at all. I just figured that maybe you should say something to Kirsten considering she really is your date tonight."
They both looked toward the kitchen and saw Kirsten, Emily and Paul laughing over something. Michael didn't want to piss Sandy off, but he felt the need to point out the obvious. "I really don't think she cares. She has had her eye on you all night. I know there is something there."
"Are you mad?" It was Sandy's turn to ask.
"Are you admitting something?"
"Never."
"That's what I thought. No, I'm not mad. But I am going to walk Tracy home if that is cool with you?"
"It's fine. Have a good night." Sandy turned away from Michael and his eyes searched out Kirsten. He knew what we wanted...for tonight anyway. He had to take Tracy's advice and not think too much. Take it one day at a time, how could things go wrong? He searched the whole house for what felt like hours, although in reality, it was probably ten minutes. He eventually found her sitting outside on the front steps of the porch.
He moved closer to her and sat down. He always felt that need to be in close proximity of her existence. "What are you doing out here?"
"Just getting some air. You?"
"Actually, I was looking for you."
'Really? I thought you would have been looking for Tracy who just left with my date. It's kind of funny if you think about it."
"You find that funny? I find it insulting!" His eyes were wide and he was trying to hide the amusing look that was creeping up on his face.
"You know why they left, don't play dumb."
"For argument sake, tell me."
"Don't make me say it Sandy. It's hard enough accepting it, saying it would be making it a realization." Kirsten shivered, visibly cold from the crisp December air in northern California. Sandy fought the urge to pull her close and warm her up with his own body heat. Instead, he opted to take off his own tuxedo jacket and drape it over her shoulders.
"Such a gentleman!" They wouldn't be Sandy and Kirsten if there was no teasing involved.
"I try."
Kirsten took all of him in and noticed that his tie was still knotted perfectly, but the top button on his shirt was open. "Why don't you take your tie off? It seems like it would be uncomfortable."
He looked down at the bowtie and back at her dark blue eyes. "Well, I never wear these things so once I untie it, I know it can't go back to look this neat." He didn't meet her eyes, obviously embarrassed. His background didn't supply him with many black-tie events.
Kirsten wasn't thinking about his upbringing. She knew him not knowing how to tie a bowtie was probably more normal than the fact that she did. "So who tied it for you tonight?"
"You really are trying to embarrass me, huh?"
"It was Paul, wasn't it?"
"Yes. Do you know how aggravating you could be?"
She just ignored him. "Just untie it."
His fingers played with the material before he tugged it loose. He had to admit, it did feel good.
She then leaned over and took the material in between her long fingers. Her face was close to his now, their eyes meeting, speaking volumes of how much they wanted each other. 'Don't look at me, watch my hands." She smiled as she went to work. Her fingers worked what Sandy considered magic. When her fingers brushed up against his neck, he felt heat ignite between his legs.
"I guess I don't have to ask where you learned that." Their faces were too close for him to resist. She sadly smiled, looking down to avoid the awkwardness that really never exists. Sandy cupped her face in his hands. "I figured out something today." His hands were gentle, but her head had nowhere to turn. She was lost in his eyes.
"What's that?" Her voice cracked, wanting him so badly, but trying not to show it.
"I am thinking about us too much. I never use my head when it comes to girls, but when it comes to you, I can't help it. Right now, all I keep thinking is how something as simple as you tying my bowtie is... like reason seven hundred and forty two...to why you and I should never do what I so badly want."
"And what's that?" She leaned in a little closer, but that was as far as she was going to start something. She kissed him first the last time and was not about to be the one to crack this time.
"You know what." His eyes were deep and serious.
"You're going to have to say it for me to understand."
"Do you always get what you want?"
"Always." She smiled as the back of his hand brushed against her cheek. He leaned in and that was it. They were both lost.
Kirsten closed her eyes first, knowing what was coming. Sandy waited for her to do so before he closed his own. He brushed his full lips against her softer ones, savoring how good the contact between them felt. Kirsten didn't move. She was going to let him take charge of this situation. He pulled back and opened his eyes, hoping for some indication from her, whether it was safe to continue. She felt him pull slightly back, but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him have a clue to what she was thinking.
"What are you thinking right now?" He whispered it, enjoying how close he was to her and knowing she loved this game.
"You can't play my game." His hands were still cupping her face, afraid to let go, but also afraid to stay there. She loved their repertoire.
"Humor me."
"Ummm...I am thinking that I am going home tomorrow."
"I know, me too. Bad timing, huh?"
"No. I was thinking that I have to go home and pack because my flight leaves early in the morning."
"Really?" He was stunned. He couldn't believe she was not into this as much as he was. He started to pull his hands away from her face when she answered him.
"No." She quickly grabbed his hands, letting him know she was just kidding. "There are advantages to having a wealthy father. My flight leaves when I show up at the airport."
"God Kirsten, I am scared shit here and you are joking with me?"
"It's what we do, isn't it?" She was smiling, but realized he was serious.
"Not tonight."
"Okay." She agreed. "Not tonight."
He leaned back in and kissed her again. She felt bad that he was taking this so seriously. She was afraid to take anything with Sandy too seriously. He was a playboy. Isn't this what he did all the time? She was starting to think that this might be different. She really didn't care at this very moment in time. She was starting to feel Sandy's need to deepen the kiss and that was when all rational thoughts were gone.
Sandy knew there was no going back from this point. The world erupting would not stop his desires. He still knew he didn't want anything long term. He still knew he could never be what she would expect. Right now though, he just didn't care. He wanted her, needed her, had to have her.
Kirsten felt Sandy's lips part and she knew his tongue in her mouth would follow. She wanted to hold back and tease him, but she couldn't help herself. Her hands found their way to the back of his neck, pulling herself closer to him. He slowly slid his tongue in her mouth cautiously, fearing she was going to come to her senses and stop this immediately. Kirsten felt the invasion and massaged his tongue with her own, feeling the loss of control. Her hands moved upwards running them through his dark wavy hair, again pulling herself closer to him. His hands trailed their way down her bare back, loving how sexy she really was. He couldn't help himself as they traveled even further down to her ass, his lips never leaving hers.
Kirsten thought to herself about Sandy's comment about her ass soon as she felt his hands there. She couldn't help but smile. Sandy felt her smile through their deep kiss and pulled back. "What?" It came out in a concerned tone.
"You've got good hands Cohen."
He smiled one of those smiles that traveled all the way to his eyes. The eyes that watched Kirsten get up from her position on the steps and walk away from him. He sat there speechless. Where was she going? Was this not what she wanted? Did she decide without his knowledge that this could never be? A million questions were swirling through his mind.
She made her way to the door, put her hand on the door knob and she looked back at him. "Are you coming?"
Sandy never moved so fast in his life. "Right behind ya!"
He followed her through the crowd of people, not knowing where she was going. Kirsten just wanted to get there without running into anyone. She did not want any interruptions. As she got to his bedroom door, she turned to face him, her back leaning against the door frame. "You want to try this again?"
Sandy couldn't believe this girl, who had a hard time taking compliments from him, could be so confident about what was being implied. "What do you think?"
He walked in the room ahead of her and waited for her to come in. He couldn't believe this was going to happen. She couldn't believe she was going to do this.
She was nervous. Her sexual experience was very limited next to his, but she tried to keep a clear mind about it. She didn't want to psych herself out of it. Sandy shut the door behind him and met her in the center of his room. He grabbed her quickly, not wanting her to think of anything other than him right now and how good this was going to be.
She felt his hands on her back and immediately down to her ass. She pushed herself against his rock hard body and felt cock against her thigh. That was enough to send her to a world far away from rational thinking. She took her long fingers and masterfully untied his bowtie and started to work on the buttons of his shirt. She tugged at the bottom, pulling it out of his trousers. The tie landed on the floor and she stepped back to study his now bare chest. She once again pulled him close to her and before their lips met, she whispered, "You have a great body."
Sandy smiled sheepishly, feeling like he was being stared at like a fish trapped in a small bowl. She didn't care as she pulled his shirt off his shoulders, down his arms and discarded it to the floor. He was just staring at her and she felt like she had to pull him out of this trance. "Now who is the one that doesn't know how to take compliments?"
It was now his turn. He was starting to feel himself grow even harder than he was, if that was possible. He undid the halter part of her dress letting it fall over the front of her shoulders, revealing her breasts in a black lace undergarment. Sandy had never seen any piece of lingerie look so elegant. This girl is way out of my league, he thought. He pushed her dress over her hips, willing it completely off. It pooled onto the floor, joining the others. She stepped out of her heels and then out of her dress, just now wearing the lingerie.
Sandy just stared at her and Kirsten was starting to feel self-conscious. "What?"
"You just have no idea how beautiful you are. You would not be this nice if you knew the power you have over all men."
"All men?"
"Well definitely this man."
"You were right the last time. I like to have all the control." She smiled as her hands made there way to his trousers. She slowly unbuttoned them and carefully slid down the zipper. His penis swelled out of his boxers, the tip out of his pants.
Sandy cupped her face again, kissing her gently, but it soon turned into rushed, desirable, deep kisses. Kirsten's hands remained on his pants, pushing them to the floor. Sandy did not want to break this kiss but didn't want to fall over since his feet were tangled. He pushed himself away as he used his feet to take his shoes off and step out, now only in his boxers.
For the first time, Kirsten got an idea of how big he really was and now she was intimidated. Of all the times she slept with Jimmy, including her first time, she was never this nervous. Sandy picked up on this, and as much as he didn't want to ask, he felt that he had to. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She pressed her body against his, yearning to feel that huge cock against her groin. It was like a magnet that drew her in. "Sandy, let's not let words get in the way this time." She leaned in this time and started the kiss, the first time since they began. Sandy didn't need any more encouragement than that. His hands moved to her breasts, kneading them one at a time, making her nipples go hard. He needed them in his mouth. He broke the kiss and started to tenderly kiss his way down to her chest. "You have no idea how bad I want this." She said it as she was almost gasping for air.
Sandy removed the strap over her left shoulder, letting the undergarment fall revealing her perky breast. His lips could not stay away. He kissed, open mouth against her body, pulling his tongue in and out of his mouth. Kirsten moaned loudly, just wanted him to fuck her. She wanted him inside her, knowing that his experience was going to prevent that with foreplay.
She could play his game. Her fingers played with the elastic of his boxers, and without warning, plunged inside the material. He was huge. That was all Kirsten kept thinking as her hand stroked his length. The thought of putting that in her mouth was enticing, but she wanted more than that. She gripped him lightly sliding her hand up and down rapidly as the other massaged his balls. Sandy groaned, never thinking she could be this good. Where did she get her skills?
Sandy didn't want to lose himself anytime soon, but knew if she continued, he was in trouble. He had to distract himself. He started to lift the material of her lingerie and slid his hands up her thighs. He massaged her inner thigh until she let go, getting lost in what was about to happen. He moved his hand further up until his index finger touched the damp material of her underwear. She felt like the teasing alone was going to make her come. She fought it, stretching the elastic of his boxers and pulling them down his legs. Now she saw him.
Two can play at this game, he thought. As much as he wanted to massage her folds on the outside, he needed to rip her underwear off. In one swift movement, he pulled the material down her legs and bent down as he pulled. He picked up each foot and helped her step out of them. As he came up to eye level with her, he pulled the sides of her lingerie up. She was afraid to lift her arms, remembering that was the last sexy thing she did the last they were together. She didn't know what to do. She didn't have to.
With the material in his hands, he came closer to her and leaned his cock into now bare groin, course hairs meeting course hairs. She didn't need any explanation. She lifted her arms and, within seconds, the material was shed. They now stood there completely naked, visually taking each other in.
Sandy quickly closed the space between them and hungrily started kissing her, never wanting it to end. The feeling of her naked body against his was more than he could take. He walked them over to his bed and he sat down hoping she would not break their passionate kiss. To his surprise, she took it upon herself to straddle him. His dick was too close to her now. He ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her down with him and his head hit the pillow.
She wanted him inside her, but waited for his cue. Since she was on top, she decided to rub her breast against his chest and push her pussy against the length of his dick. He immediately rolled them over so he was on top. He needed to know if she was ready and slid his arm between their bodies, fingertips reaching for her folds. He played with them on the outside before using his index finger to feel her wetness. After her muscles contracted against his finger, he used his thumb to make way for his middle finger to slide in next. She felt her buttocks tighten and she couldn't hold back anymore. "Oh god, that feels good."
That was all he needed to hear. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom. He may be a lot of things, but he was always careful. After setting himself up, he leaned over her, staring her right in the eyes. The hardness of her nipples, still, such a turn on.
She could feel the tip of his dick touching her, wanting to fill her. She reached down, grabbed him and guided him in. He slowly pushed himself in, one inch at a time, watching her eyelids flicker in ecstasy. He loved how tight she felt, knowing what that meant. Once he was fully submerged, he caught her lips with his. She deepened the kiss one more time, before he pulled out completely and plunged back. He moaned at the pressure he felt, knowing this wasn't going to last long.
She bit her lip, relishing in the feeling, knowing that although it had been awhile, it never felt this good. He slid in and out of her, kisses covering all parts of her body. He was trying so hard not to come, not wanting to be embarrassed or have her be disappointed. He reached down between them, and like a pro, found her clit with his thumb. It sent her over the edge.
She made a noise that she, herself, never heard. It was a toss between a moan and a cry. It sent him over the edge. He felt the familiar tightening and whispered, "Shit, I'm gonna come."
And he exploded. He buried his head into her neck, loving the way she smelled. He made a grunting noise as he pumped a few last times into her.
Now this was the awkward part. He pulled his head out of the crook of her neck, and looked her straight in the eyes. He leaned in and kissed her again, but this time softly and full of tender. He felt himself go limp inside her and had to pull himself away. "Wow. I don't want to move." He reluctantly rolled off of her, discarded the condom, and walked over to pick his boxers up off the floor. He wanted to hold her next to him, and didn't need wetness to get in the way.
Kirsten just laid there wondering what she would do. She wanted to bolt. With Jimmy, he would just roll over and go to sleep. This was so unfamiliar to her. She grabbed the sheets to cover herself up, wondering how many times girls have done this with these same sheets. Sandy could see something bothering her. He made his way back over to her.
"Hey what's the matter? You okay?" His concern was evident.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"I'm sorry. I know that could have been better, but you just drive me crazy. I promise it will be the next time."
"The next time?" She couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah. There will be a next time, right?" Was he that bad that she didn't even want to consider it? "It couldn't have been that bad, was it?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. It was really good."
"Good. I thought so too."
He got back into bed and went to get under the covers with her when she quickly sat up.
"Where are you going?" He was never going to figure this girl out.
She made her way over to the pile of clothes, putting back on the lingerie just to cover up. She clearly was embarrassed about walking around naked in front of him. "I have to get back to campus and pack. I am leaving tomorrow."
Sandy bolted over to her and grabbed her hands before she put on another piece of clothing. "Oh no you don't. You are not taking off on me again. I really would like for you to stay."
"The night?"
"Yes, or for however long you want. We can stay here all break if you want. And if that's the case, we can do that many, many more times."
She laughed at him as he guided her back. She got under the covers and Sandy spooned her from behind. He kissed her neck, helping her relax a bit. "I meant what I said before."
"What's that?"
"You are really beautiful."
She wanted to come back with a witty response. All she could come up with was, "Thank You."
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