Chapter 10: The Hot Flashes of El Dorado
Waluigi was on a mission with Wario. They were trying to rob an extremely meaty jewelry store, but Wario has to shit first so they had to make a stop at the local Circle-K. Wario went inside to let his burrito buns explode into the fountain bowl of diabetes. Waluigi stayed outside to get some gas. Waluigi's Forty-Sixth shade emerged while at that gas station. So did 47-49. They all had to do with blowing up the Circle-K that they were currently stationed at. Waluigi's brain kept telling him not to do it, but his conscience told him it was so right. He took a lighter out and set it right up to his ass. He was going to do it. He was going to murder all those fuckers who didn't give him a discount on the Monster he bought last time. Those fuckhead managers...those PARATROOPA JEWS! Waluigi let a colossal satanic rip of a fart out and exploded Wario and the Circle-K into the next century. Waluigi cackled like scum. "WAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Waluigi loled. Wario was thrust out from the exploding Circle-K with his pants down still. "WAAAAAAT THE FUCK WAAAALUIGI!" Wario smashed Waluigi on the head with the newspaper he was reading. Waluigi shrugged it off then tripped Wario with his pants down and began spanking Wario with the newspaper. "YOU BAAAAD SONOVABITCH!" Waluigi spanked. Wario said nothing and complied. They then rode over to Chilis and had a nice dinner. Waluigi thought of a fantastic scheme. When the waitress gave them the bill, he only tipped her $0.01. He cackled "WAAAAAAA!" With Wario as they pranced their way out of the store. But Waluigi was a clumsy fuck and accidentally tripped Wario through the window. Chilis called for the police and they were arrested on the spot. It was months, years even...Waluigi brooded in jail with Wario. Growing old, growing a beard, growing hopeless. Waluigi grew to like killing, like the adrenaline, like the pain...and finally the officer came to release them. "Ok guys, your 1 hour is up. You can go home now." The officer ushered them out. Waluigi came out of that hell-hole a new man. And when Wario asked him if he still wanted to heist the bank, Waluigi turned a cold eye to him with a shoulder. Wario tried to touch his shoulder but he shied away. Wario shied and went on his way. When Wario was out of sight, Waluigi jumped up and robbed the jewelry store himself! Why should he share it with that fatass fucker? "WAAAA! GOLD!" Waluigi basked in the shimmering objects...until he was taken down by SWAT and labeled as a criminal catastrophe. All his gold was gone! "WAAAAAA!" Waluigi cried and returned to the present.