:: Chapter Ten ::
Her body, her soul, her heart, they still ached but Eliza had made a decision for herself when she woke up that following morning—she would live the life Lord Scourge wanted her to have. Revenge lay in her future, of that she was certain but for the moment the thing she really needed to do was put one foot before the other. Get through the day, keep breathing, try to smile and just live. Live until her moment would come and she'd snuff out every man and woman responsible for her pain and loss.
Right now, Theron and Lord Cytharat were in Raider's Cove picking up supplies while Me'ghan and Eliza helped Nyssa pack for the journey to Odessen.
"You know," Nyssa said while folding her clothes, "when I was little I wanted to become a Jedi so badly. I was positively crushed when my parents explained about the Force and that I didn't have it in me. Then a few weeks later my little sister became ill and all I wanted then was to cure her. It's why I became a nurse."
"What was wrong with her?" Me'ghan asked.
"Common flu, nothing horrible but you know as a kid even the little stuff seems life-changing."
"Tell me about it. Selene had a papercut a while back, screamed as though half her finger had been amputated."
Eliza nodded. "I remember that. Cyara spent all day fussing over her. One of the few times they've not argued over one thing or another."
"They were truly sweet with Theron after the shuttle crash. One morning I was getting him ready for his physical therapy and they decided to help. Brought him mismatched socks which they proceeded to slide onto his feet, backward and inside out." Nyssa recalled with a smile.
"Cyara she uh, she called me 'aunty Nyssha' this morning… are you sure that's alright with you?" She looked to Eliza.
"Yeah, it's fine. Everyone is family to her and I think it helps her you know?"
"Right, yes because… yeah." Nyssa understood. "I think it's sweet in any case."
"Hey, in your time as a nurse, have you ever come across any patients with a disease known as hypophosphatasia?" Eliza quickly changed the subject, deciding to sate her curiosity rather than land herself in a conversation about Lord Scourge.
"Hmm, I have once… terrible disease, especially in infants. Why do you ask?"
"Is that what…?" Me'ghan gave Eliza a knowing look and the latter nodded.
"Ravage's wife had it… and so did his daughter."
"His daughter?!" Me'ghan shrieked, a little too loud and Eliza gestured for her to lower her voice. "I didn't know he had one."
"And don't ever let him find out that you do know now but, yes. She passed away when she was only a few months old, died of the same disease that took her mother."
Nyssa frowned and let out a small sigh. "The baby boy we had at the med center… oh, it was heartbreaking.
"Just a few weeks old and we could barely change his diaper or wash him without risk of shattering his bones. The smallest movement, even his own, risked death and before long he passed away due to respiratory failure. His parents only got to hold him once…"
"Stars…" Me'ghan breathed out quietly.
Eliza chewed on the inside of her lip, wondering, "And in adults…?"
"The deterioration progresses much slower. It starts with a softening of the bones, recurrent fractures which lead to chronic pain, a lot of joint pain and there's risk of spine fractures. Walking will no longer be an option, you need around the clock care with bathing, bathroom habits. Need to be fed things such as soups as the jaw begins to deteriorate as well. It's an agonizing process I imagine and in adults, it also leads to death due to respiratory problems."
"I never knew…" Eliza sighed and she imagined the struggles Ravage must have faced with his wife and daughter.
After he'd opened up to her the previous night, she'd become curious but couldn't bring herself to ask the more confrontational questions, unwilling to hurt him. Still, she wanted to at least have some understanding of what he'd gone through.
"I'm not a fan of his, sorry to say, but that's a terrible thing for any person to go through. And you say it happened to his wife and his daughter?" Nyssa asked.
Eliza nodded. "Yeah…"
"Are you and Ravage…" Nyssa began carefully, "I apologize if it's not any of my business and I don't mean to sound insensitive given… you know, but, you and him, are you…?"
"No. We had a… kind of a needs-based thing? But nothing serious."
"Isn't he a bit old though?"
Me'ghan snorted, unintentionally, and answered for Eliza without thought, "That's never stopped her before. Scourge was technically over three hundred years old and Vowrawn's well in his seventies. Though age does affect us Force users, and Purebloods especially, differently."
"Wait, as in Darth Vowrawn? Cyara's hold-father? When was this?" Nyssa frowned curiously.
"While she and Scourge were broken up for a while."
"Broken up?"
Eliza shot Me'ghan a glare and tried to stop her, unsure of how much Theron had told Nyssa, but the brunette had already spilled the beans, "Yeah they hit a rough spot after the whole Theron business."
"Ahh, after the Yavin incident?"
"You know about that?" Now it was Eliza's turn to be surprised, and curious.
"Theron told me everything—he had to when he introduced me to Jonas who kept referring to you as 'the one who got away'."
"Oh… sorry…" she said a little uncomfortably and her eyes shot daggers at Me'ghan for raising the subject in the first place.
"Don't be. It wasn't easy at first but we all have a past right? Including a romantic one. Heck, one of Theron's former SIS colleagues is my ex-boyfriend. Besides, it was years ago and since then you've both married different people, you even had a daughter." Nyssa smiled reassuringly.
"Your friendship is important to him and he has so few people in his life who actually care about him and love him. I'm glad he has you."
"Thank you… his friendship, and now yours is important to me too." Eliza managed to inch up the corners of her mouth a little but a true smile stayed out.
"So did you ever have the displeasure of meeting your hellish mother in law?" Me'ghan quickly segued to the matter of Satele while throwing Eliza an apologetic look.
With all she'd been through in the past twenty-four hours, Me'ghan had become set on providing Eliza with a sense of normalcy, to help her get through the day but now she scolded herself for the callous comment. Worrying she'd been too insensitive but Eliza slid closer, hugging her and then took the suitcase they'd just finished packing.
Nyssa grimaced. "Once, right before she vanished into thin air. Most awkward lunch I've ever had. It was tormenting trying to break through the wall of silence between her and Theron."
Me'ghan and Nyssa began an exchange of gossip and stories but Eliza drowned them both out, distracted by her own mind.
'The one who got away,' the words repeated and she found herself wondering if that still held true though right now, each thought of Theron came paired with visions of Lord Scourge.
'We could have been married for longer if I hadn't…' Another notion teased though she tried to shrug it off. There was no point in any 'ifs' now and yet for a moment, she could not help but feel she'd wasted precious time in her emotional tug of war between both men.
"I'm uh," Eliza started and let out a half-hearted chuckle, "Cytharat gave me a whole list of things to pack for him so…" She sought to excuse herself—there was only so much 'keeping strong' she could handle in one sitting.
"Go ahead, we've got this." Me'ghan smiled.
'Keep brave, hold your head high, just from one minute to the next. Tears won't bring him back, breaking won't return him to your arms, just keep moving and breathe.' The mantra recited in Eliza's head while she rolled a cargo crate into Lord Cytharat's room.
—
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer if we stayed, just for a few days more?" Nyssa asked when the time came to say goodbye.
"I'm sure." Eliza hugged her and managed a smile. "I've got my uncle, Meg, and Ravage. I'll be okay and we will join you all soon."
"Hm, it's the Ravage part that worries me," Lord Cytharat whispered to her when he heard and he was the next to embrace her.
"He… I can handle him and he's, he has his good moments."
She watched as they disappeared up the boarding ramp, then stepped away to say farewell to Theron who tarried loading the last of their cargo.
"I hate leaving you like this. I wasn't there for you the first time and now…" He sighed, visibly struggling.
"You are here for me Theron, and you will be even when you leave. Getting everything in order on Odessen, assisting Lana, it helps. One less thing for me to worry about and really… what else could you do? What else can I do now?"
He looked into her eyes, still puffy and red from the constant emotional war she waged. An amber-golden aura outlined her blue irises now as a permanent reminder of the darkness she'd almost given into the day before. It worried him, beyond words and yet they looked even more beautiful this way.
"Promise you'll call if there is anything…" Theron leaned in, folding his arms around her. "Anything at all, and I'll come running."
Her head nestled against his chest, under his chin. "I promise."
"I uh, I—"
"Be safe, Theron," Eliza said quickly because she couldn't bear to hear what he might say next.
"Of course." He swallowed his words quickly, taking her cue and while it was an acceptable sentiment among friends, for him it would always mean more, and would feel like another betrayal to his wife.
Instead, he held her just for a moment longer with his lips pressed to her forehead and then he finally broke away. He boarded the ship, joining Nyssa and Lord Cytharat and minutes later, they took to the atmosphere.
"I've just spoken with Richard and Kirin," Malavai announced when Eliza came back inside the house, "they'll be here in a few days."
"For the kids? Have you decided then?"
"For you," he corrected, "though should we decide to go to Odessen without Selene and Cyara, I'm sure they'll extend their stay."
Me'ghan poured them all some tea and sat down. "What do you want to do, Eliza?"
"Oh, I don't know, I'm conflicted. I mean, on the one hand, I'm thinking Cyara will be the safest right by my side, yes?
"At the same time though, being by my side might be the very thing to put her at risk. Nowhere in the galaxy is truly safe but, Rishi is safer than Odessen."
"That has been our dilemma as well," Malavai admitted and took Me'ghan's hand, "we were up most of the night discussing it."
"And? What was your conclusion?"
"I think we need to minimize the risks they'd be exposed to. As much as we want them by our side, I'm inclined to believe they'll be safer here with their grandparents." Me'ghan sighed.
She hated the idea of leaving her daughter behind, leaving her at all for the first time since she'd been born and Malavai shared those sentiments.
"We always knew this time would come," he said solemnly as a man now torn between duty and honor and his responsibilities as a father, "to resume our duties and fight in the war."
Eliza swallowed hard and she struggled just as bad, if not more so. After all, she'd promised Lord Scourge to raise their daughter and now she'd be leaving Cyara behind instead while going off to fight a war. To fight those who murdered Cyara's father and that was the justification she would hold on to, the thing she'd remind herself of if doubt struck.
"I think you're both right, they'll be better off staying here."
As if on cue, the two girls came rushing into the living room both carrying a piece of paper and followed by Ravage who leaned against the doorway.
"Mommy, daddy, this is mes when I grow bigs like you and becomes a Sithy!" Selene handed over the drawing she'd been working on all morning.
The image showed her all grown up, dressed in Malavai's Imperial uniform while wielding a double set of lightsabers and Me'ghan chuckled. "That's wonderful baby."
"I tolds her Sithys don't wear Imperials clothes but she won'ts listen!" Cyara pointed out.
"Well I wants to be like my mommy and my daddy, okays? So hims uniform and Sithy whoosh whooshings!" She tried to imitate the sound of a lightsaber, making wild gestures.
Eliza snorted and smiled down at her own daughter. "And what did you make?"
"Us!" she beamed proudly, showing off a surprisingly detailed depiction of herself, Eliza and Lord Scourge all stood together hand in hand, like a family. "Uncie Markus helped me lots drawing daddy! He dids all the lines but I did the colorings!"
"Oh, sweetheart, that's…" The image caught her off guard and Eliza's hand trembled as she stared at the drawing, "it's absolutely beautiful." she knelt down and hugged Cyara close.
It took all her strength not to fall apart once more but she was helped by an odd sense of comfort washing over her when Ravage put his hand on her shoulder. She rose back up and he whispered to her.
"I hope you do not mind. She wanted to make it for you because there are no family holographs of the three of you…"
Eliza met his eyes and nodded. "Thank you, it was sweet of you to help her," she assured him and then looked at the drawing once more. She put on a brave smile and picked Cyara up. "Do you want to hang this somewhere?"
"Yes! In a pretty frame above the fireyplace where uncie Marr is toos. Theres!" She pointed over her mother's shoulder.
"Alright," Eliza kissed the top of Cyara's head, "let's go see if we have a frame somewhere in storage."
"That was a kind thing you did, my Lord." Malavai felt compelled to admit to Ravage after Eliza left.
He just shrugged, took an empty glass and his bottle of cognac from the drinking cart and vanished.
"Hey daddy," Selene said, climbing onto the sofa and she sat herself down between her parents, "mommy, what is Obessens and whys the others leave?"