A/N: Well, it had to happen. There I was, thinking there'd be twelve chapters to this story, then my plot bunnies throw even more ideas into my strange little mind. So the chapter count is now up to fourteen. If there's any more changes, you'll see it here first!

So, here we are, with chapter ten. And yes, by the time I finished it, I did need chocolate. Whether for Easter or not, it's the best comfort food in the world. ;o)

Aftermath

Chapter Ten - Promises Made

They almost made it. Came so close to beating the far stronger pull of pain killing sedatives. Not that Jon minded. All the time that Trip lay like this, sleeping and smiling, it meant he was healing too. And when he finally awoke, and managed to grin drowsily back at him, Jon felt even happier.

Thanks to the strength of their friendship, and coffee they could use as an alternative fuel source – yes, with patience, time, and equal shares of talking and listening, they were going to get through this.

Between sips of coffee, and slighter longer pauses to gather his strength, it was Trip's turn to talk now. As Jon had expected, his normally ebullient friend was in a quieter, more reflective mood than usual. But not even he could have foreseen the soft, almost shy admission that took him completely by surprise.

"Y'know, I've always been afraid somethin' like this was gonna happen between us."

Assuming that Jon would understand, and realizing he hadn't quite got there, Trip then smiled. In thoughtful silence, he studied the depths of his mug, as if he'd find the inspiration inside it for what he quietly said next.

"I – I mean, with you bein' my best friend an' all, as well as my Captain."

Even with its clarification, Jon was still surprised by a point that, in truth, he'd never really appreciated. What it felt like, for Trip to constantly balance their personal relationship against his professional duty.

Yes, they'd had arguments before. And yes, there'd been times when he'd used his rank to win them. But he'd rarely stopped to think on the effect it would have on Trip's pride. His unwavering loyalty.

Instead, he'd turned it into a mocking joke. Three lightly teasing words, to suit all eventualities.

"Go to sickbay, Trip… get some sleep, Trip… get those engines online, Trip… that's an order."

The thought of it made him shake his head now. Treating his closest friend like a damn two year old. God, it was a miracle that Trip hadn't decked him for it, long before now. Or, he dryly reflected, royally kicked his ass. He was no slouch in combat himself, of course, but with the advantage of those nine years, and youthful speed on his side, he had no doubt that Trip could still cheerfully paste him onto the nearest wall.

Well, from everything else he'd learned from this experience, he was going to start appreciating it now.

"You mean acting under my orders, even if you disagree with them? Or have to act against them?"

Answered with a tiredly awkward nod, Jon nodded too, while instinctively taking up the lead – letting Trip recover his strength, and bracing himself for it too, before they both relived that moment.

"Yeah, I know. I was acting as your Captain, Trip, when it should have been as your friend."

The last time they'd faced it, there'd been hell to pay. For Trip, the cost had almost been irrecoverable. Now, in calmer, second chance hindsight, all Jon heard in his voice was a tired, rueful sadness.

"All I needed you to do, Jon, was just turn around, and look at me."

Still held in its memory, Jon could only nod as he met Trip's eyes, and saw the same regret inside them. There was no anger this time. It flooded Jon's conscience instead, with the enormity of its impact.

"But I was too much the damn Captain to do it, and… Christ, Trip, look at what it did to you."

He hadn't meant to say it so sharply, but the surging emotions inside him had given him little choice. He had to get up now. Had to stride around Trip's bed to release the fury. The fear. The terror.

"I spent ten hours, Trip. Ten damn hours, watching you fight for your life after that seizure."

Watching Trip react to his anger, not daring to let him misinterpret it, Jon forced himself to calm down. God, he hadn't recovered yet from that first seizure. He'd be damned if he'd let him suffer another.

Returning to his seat, he gently took Trip's hand. Seeking, and finding, comfort from its living strength.

"And every second of them scared the hell out of me. But you know what scared me even more?"

'…even more, sometimes, than the thought of losing you…'

"It was the thought that something so damn simple could cost me your trust. Our friendship."

'…your life, Trip… and I'd never have the chance to say sorry…'

He knew he had to, but he couldn't bring himself to say that last part. Then again, he didn't need to. Jon could see that same realization, the compassion that had already forgiven it, written in Trip's eyes. Feel it in the hand that now released its grip on his own, and moved up to re-place it on his shoulder. And, finally, he heard in the voice that was starting to break now, through its own stricken apology.

"I'm – 'm sorry too, Jon. God, I – I am so, so sorry, for – for puttin' you… us… through this."

Whether silent or spoken, there they were. Two stricken confessions, from two broken souls. From two separate directions, they'd been through hell. Now came the time for them to mutually heal.

Two overly-bright blue eyes were a telling giveaway as to who needed that comfort first. Who needed it now.

As Trip started to sit up, so Jon caught him, lifting him the rest of the way into a bracing hug. Wrapping him into his arms, he held him tighter, as both of them broke down, into a rush of releasing tears. Continued to hold him, through slowing, softening sobs - and long after he felt Trip's body relax against him, into the deadweight of sleep.

Only when he'd regained his composure did he finally release him, and ease him gently down again. Settling back into his seat, Jon brushed away the remaining tears from Trip's face, while he left his own untouched. He needed them to stay there, a physical reminder of this pivotal moment. He had his friend back. His Trip, his surrogate brother. And now he made him a heartfelt promise.

"For both our sakes, Trip, this will never happen again. Never again."