An hour passed by, and Maura sat uneasily by the fire waiting for Jane to return. 'You said too much. You pushed her and now she's out there alone not knowing how to come back.' Her mind screamed, as she tried to silence it with a sip of her wine.
She'd checked up on Katie and had taken a quick shower before changing into a pair of cream silk pyjamas and robe. Anything to keep busy, but her thoughts were lost, as she couldn't think about anything else but the tall detective, still remembering their moment on the beach. 'Before you opened your mouth! Why do I not know how to deal with people better? She must think I'm totally strange. Admitting you'd googled your date. Is it classed as stalking? Ughh!'
Jane pushed the door open slowly looking over at Maura, who was sat alone on the two-seater settee, her feet tucked under her. The only light in the room was the soft glow from a room along the small hallway and the fire in the grate.
She shut the door and turned the key before heading silently to the kitchen and pouring a glass of wine.
"You need a top up?" She asked, looking up to see Maura's gaze on her.
"I'm good thank you." She smiled.
Jane pushed the stopper back in place and let the warm fruity alcohol slip down her throat, actually enjoying the taste.
"This is good." She said with a grin, before sitting next to the honey-blonde, determined not to put physical distance between them both.
"You sound surprised?"
"Well I'm not a big wine drinker. But I could get used to this."
"I have it imported. It's one of my favourites."
"So, wine as well as shoes then?" She laughed.
"Yes. And fine food too of course, particularly when I cook."
"Dinner was fantastic again by the way." Jane said.
"Just a simple dish, but Katie likes it." Maura said. "I'm glad you came back Jane." She added.
"Didn't have much choice. No car remember?" She replied, an uneasy smile on her lips.
"I know but…oh, anyway, I'm just glad you're ok." She said, twirling the wine glass slowly between her fingers and watching the swirl of red liquid leave it's deep stain.
"Maura." Jane's husky voice punctured the air, causing the honey-blonde to look up at her, a small furrow forming between her eyes.
"Hoyt…" She started, her throat drying up suddenly.
"Jane, you don't have to do this." She said softly.
"I do." She answered quickly, taking a long sip of wine before continuing. "It was a tough case. Really tough. He went after couples. The husband was always found first, gagged and bound, throat slit…" She swallowed, her mind bringing back images of the crime scene in detail. "From the evidence gathered we knew he had raped the wife, making the husband watch before killing him in front of her. She would be taken, tortured and then dumped. Everything was so methodical, precise. He seemed to shift his focus…onto me, and when we found the next guy killed we knew we had a small window of time to find the wife. It all escalated so fast…so fast…" She said, rubbing at her hands furiously.
Maura watched silently, resisting the temptation to take hold of Jane and comfort her, knowing she needed this; she needed to confess those terrifying moments to her.
"I got a hunch and I went out on a limb. I guess I thought I knew best. Who was I trying to kid? Like a fucking idiot I went into the building alone. Once I heard her voice though I couldn't go back, I just couldn't. It was so dark…so dark, and I remember going down the wooden steps into the basement. She was on a mattress. Gagged, tied up. I'd just removed the tape from her mouth when…when…fuck." Her head was spinning now. She'd not gone into this kind of detail since her statement.
"When I came round, I first noticed a dull light bulb swinging above my head. I tried to speak but there was something across my mouth and I couldn't move my body. I could still hear her crying. I'd never been so scared in my whole life." She said, in a whisper, holding back the tears. "I thought I was dreaming I think until I felt the steel against my neck and I looked up into the eyes of the man sat across my chest. I remember his breath smelt of garlic as he sniffed my…my hair. I tried to struggle Maura, I really did. I tried to fight but he had hold of my left hand, pressing it into the cold hard floor and then I felt a pain so intense and I couldn't move my fingers. I saw the scalpel pinning me to the ground and watched as he did the same again. The look in his eyes as he…as he…cut me, it was like he had…" She swallowed back the bile in her throat. "Like he had orgasmed." She spat, anger rising at how trapped and afraid she had felt in those moments thinking she was going to die. "He cut my throat, to scare me I guess, before positioning himself between my legs. I closed my eyes, I couldn't take anymore, my body was in shock. I just remember hearing the gunshots and Korsak, my old partner removing the gag and talking to me. He'd called for the EMT's but it was the M.E. who removed the blades. I guess they thought I'd be a crime scene." She laughed uneasily, at the reality that could of so easily been. "I was taken to hospital, bandaged up and Hoyt went down for life." She said, reaching for her wine again, before placing it back on the coaster and looking down at her hands lay open on her lap.
"They said I was a hero." She whispered, unaware of the tears falling from Maura's eyes as she sat quietly listening to her detective speak, wishing she had been the one to find Jane and ease her pain. "I was in the papers for what felt like ages afterwards. Reporters would camp outside my apartment, my work, even my parent's house to get another photo or an interview. I refused them all. My statement was enough of a confession for me. I didn't want the world to know the truth. The truth that I had let myself be taken, be hurt, be tortured, be broken on the basement floor like a toy. I should have been stronger. I'm a trained detective for fuck's sake and I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything." Her shoulders lurched as her body started to rock, feeling the panic rise in her chest, reacting to her words like it did to a nightmare.
Maura pulled Jane against her chest in one swift motion, brushing her dark curls out of her face and caressing her cheek as she pressed her tight. The brunette could feel her heart pounding in her ears as she struggled to fight off the wave of nausea and focus on the touch of the honey-blonde soothing her pain.
"It's ok Jane. It's ok. I've got you and he won't hurt you again. Not while I am here." She whispered, kissing the top of the brunette's head, her tears soaking into her hair. "I've got you now."
Jane let herself go. Her body had already betrayed her and her mind had nothing left to fight with or guard her with, so she simply held on to Maura with everything she had.
Time passed and Jane had stopped feeling sick, her breathing back to normal. The only sound now was the sound of Maura's heart beating strong and true under her gown. How good it felt to feel another person's life resounding in your ears.
Sitting up she swept her hair back and wiped her eyes before looking up and meeting the radiating gaze of hazel-green ones. She smiled and reached out her hands to capture Maura's. The honey-blonde took them immediately and Jane watched as she lifted them to her face, her eyes never leaving hers, before placing the softest of kisses on both scars; her lips lingering each time, before dropping their entwined fingers back on her knees.
"Thank you for trusting me with your story; with you." Maura said, her voice low; her face warmed in the firelight.
"I thought you should know who I am." Jane said, sadly, staring down at their fingers locked together.
"I already knew that Jane. Your story doesn't change who you are."
"It changed everything Maura. It changed me." She sighed. "Before…before that night I had a life. I had things I enjoyed doing. I had…I had love." She swallowed.
"Experiences change us of course they do. Life is made up of moments. Many are wonderful and some can be so terrible that they upset the balance of who we are. Some religions believe that we are never given more than we can bear in this lifetime, whilst others believe that everything happens for a reason. Whatever happened that night Jane has shaped you. Right now you see all the negatives that it has brought with it. One day you will see other things. I know you will." She replied, her eyes ready to burst.
"I can't see that right now."
"I know. But you will. You're stronger than that."
"Am I?" She asked, looking up into her eyes.
"Yes you are. Did you resign? Did you leave your job and say that it was too hard to take anymore? No. You fought on Jane. Remember how many people you've saved or obtained justice for since that man hurt you. No one can take that away from you. Those are victories. You are a victory." She replied, her tears falling.
"Don't cry Maura." Jane said, softly, brushing them away with her thumbs and cupping her face tenderly. "Please don't cry."
"I'm sorry. How can I not?"
"I can't bear to be the object of your sorrow." She answered, caressing her cheeks. "You're too beautiful for tears."
Maura's heart fluttered at those words as she cast her eyes down to Jane's soft lips, feeling the need to lean forward and gently capture them between her own. But before she could, the detective had leant back, removing her touch again. Her face suddenly felt cold at the absence of her, but their eyes still met.
"Promise me something Maura?" Jane asked.
"Anything." She replied, with total sincerity.
"Don't pity me. I couldn't stand it." She whispered.
"I don't pity you Jane. I would never do that. That's a promise I can keep."
"And you can't lie." Jane added, with a smile.
"Exactly." The honey-blonde said, returning it with one of her own.
The brunette finished the last of her wine and yawned. "Sorry." She said.
"It's been a long day. Let me show you where you're sleeping." Maura replied, getting up from the settee.
Jane's mind wandered back to the tour Katie had given her, remembering that the house only had two bedrooms and the young girl was currently occupying one.
"You can take my room. There's an ensuite of course, so you'll have privacy. Would you like some water to have by your bed?" Maura asked, as she switched on the lamp and turned down the covers, before looking back at Jane standing in the doorway.
"Where are you sleeping?" She asked.
"Oh, I'm more than comfortable with the couch." She replied, casually.
"Well I'm not. No. This is your house, your bed. I'll take the settee." Jane answered firmly.
"Nonsense. You're my guest."
"And you're still not sleeping out there." The brunette pushed.
"Well we could always…share?" Maura said, stepping closer to the detective.
Jane swallowed hard, realising how the inevitable had occurred. 'How hard can it be sleeping next to her? She gorgeous and soft and warm and…out of your league.'
"Sure." She said, before her brain got a chance to kick in properly.
Maura smiled and then disappeared, before returning with two glasses of water.
"I'll, er…go get changed." Jane mumbled, heading into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.
Maura eased her robe from her shoulders and hung it on the back of the bedroom door before sliding under the duvet on her usual side. Her pulse was racing at the prospect of having the detective next to her all night in her bed. She could feel the flood of arousal pooling in her underwear also, wishing she had taken the opportunity to relieve some of her tension when she had showered earlier. Instead she was left staring at the ceiling, trying to calm down her breathing. Sex was simply not on the agenda with her little sister sleeping next door. She didn't want her first time with Jane to be a silent affair; holding back their moans of desire for fear of waking Katie. 'This isn't just sex anyway. It's so much more than that for me. I can't believe this will be the first time I have shared my bed with someone. The first time I will wake up with someone lying next to me. I'm so glad it's going to be Jane. After everything she has shared with me too.'
She smiled, unable to help the grin that spread across her face at the thought of sharing a 'first time' with the detective.
The sound of a handle turning redirected Maura's gaze and fell on the brunette who had just stepped into the room. She was dressed in a simple white vest, not unsimilar to the kind she had been wearing earlier and a pair of black boy pants that left nothing to the imagination.
The honey-blonde swallowed, hard, as her eyes fell on the long toned legs moving towards the bed. Only when the covers were swept back and those gorgeous limbs slipped in next to her did she force her gaze away.
Jane lay on her back remaining silent as Maura turned out the light. She felt her shift onto her side and a warm hand slip into her own. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply at the gesture that had somehow made the sleeping arrangement feel less awkward. With her heart beating in her ears she still had no idea what to say. It had been almost a year since she'd had anyone lay next to her.
"Er…goodnight then." She said huskily into the darkness, squeezing the honey-blonde's hand.
"Goodnight Jane." Maura replied, her eyes adjusting to the lack of light in the room so she could watch the brunette beside her.
What felt like hours seemed to pass, although the reality was much shorter. Neither woman had drifted off to sleep both so wrapped up in their own thoughts and feelings.
"Jane?" Maura whispered.
"Yeah?"
She faltered. "Erm…sorry. It's ok."
"What is it?" Jane asked, turning to face her in the darkness, their hands still entwined.
"I…it's silly, really." She answered, pleased that Jane wouldn't be able to see the blush on her cheeks rising, at her own awkwardness.
"You can tell me." She sighed.
Struggling to keep her free hand to herself she found her fingers making contact with the silk of Maura's pyjamas, running across her waist and then resting on her hip.
"Would you…" She paused again, never knowing she could feel such need.
"Would I what?" Jane replied, her thumb finding a spot of skin above the waistband of the honey-blonde; revelling in the softness and warmth as she pushed her hand further up, her palm now caressing the dip in her side.
Maura's breathing stopped at the touch, an instant wave of electricity shooting to her groin as she stifled a moan at the intimacy between them. She wished they were alone, so she could respond somehow and initiate what they both were clearly feeling at that moment.
As quick as Jane had touched her, she replaced her hand on the silken fabric again, her mind screaming at her to stop, but it didn't cease the burn she felt inside.
Maura missed the detective's touch the instant it was taken away. Instinctively she found her hand with her own and cupped it closer to her body.
"What were you going to say?" Jane asked again.
She sighed. 'Here goes nothing or is it everything?' "Would you hold me?" She almost breathed her reply.
The brunette didn't move at first, not really knowing how to react but knowing she wanted to feel Maura in her arms.
"You don't have to, I mean, I…never mind."
"Of course I will." Jane said, her voice low and deep.
Maura smiled into the darkness before turning her back to the detective and wrapping an arm under her neck by her pillow. Jane followed suit, pressing her chest and legs against the honey-blonde and slipping her left arm over her waist again; her hand being taken and drawn up close in Maura's own, pressed against her breast.
The brunette found her head resting against the warm length of exposed neck next to her, and she couldn't help brushing her nose lightly against the skin she found, inhaling the clean smell of the doctor now in her arms.
Maura's breath hitched at the grazing against her pulse point. It had long been a spot of deep arousal for her and having the detective's face and warm breath caressing her there caused her to push back into the groin pressed against her, desperate for more contact. If Jane noticed she didn't react, giving her time to adjust to the sensations on her neck and relish being held in what she'd always imagined to be a lovers embrace.
"Thank you." She whispered, finally closing her eyes as Jane's forehead now rested against her hair.
"Anytime."
"Sleep well Jane."
"Goodnight Maura."
…..
Jane yawned and stretched out her legs, feeling her toes click. It was only when she realised she couldn't do that with her right arm that she looking down to see a wave of golden hair strewn across her shoulder and upper chest where Maura lay still sleeping.
She smiled down at her before glancing over at the clock by the bed. 7:45am. 'I've slept straight through. Oh my god.' The realisation came as a shock. She had been unable to do that since Hoyt, waking every night in various states of distress. 'How?' She paused, her mind spinning again. 'Maura. No, it can't be. I had a nightmare that night on her couch. Yes, but then you slept soundly in her arms till morning.' She reminded herself.
Her heart raced at the sudden understanding that maybe this connection had finally allowed her some peace, some safety. 'Or maybe it's because you talked about it.' Either way it was still because of the honey-blonde lay peacefully in her arms.
Listening she could hear the sound of the ocean in the distance and something else. Katie. The girl was awake and rustling round in her bedroom.
With one last look she carefully slid herself out of bed, thankful that Maura simply 'hummed' before resettling against Jane's pillow. The detective brushed her hair away, letting her fingers trail across her neck briefly before slipping on her jeans and leaving the room.
"Hey." She said, tapping lightly on Katie's door. "You awake too huh?"
"Yep."
"You hungry?"
"Yes. Are you?" She asked with a grin.
"Always. Come on. Let's see what we can rustle up."
Together they made there way to the kitchen and after rooting through the contents of the fridge Jane removed ingredients for pancakes. She'd brought stuff with her knowing the two sisters clearly enjoyed the sweetness, and thankful that she was able to at least make those.
After pouring them both a juice and putting a fresh pot of coffee on, Jane busied herself making the batter, Katie helping alongside her. They had a great time together, and the detective couldn't shake the feeling of how easy and uncomplicated her life could be if she actually allowed herself the opportunity.
Pancakes ready, she kept some back in the oven to stay warm whilst the two of them helped themselves. Katie had cut hers into different shapes as she ate, making Jane guess what they were, as they made conversation about school and the beach and how the young girl loved to paint and draw.
"How about we take your sister breakfast in bed? Do you think she'd like that?" Jane asked.
"Yeah! I'll get a tray."
"Ok then."
Jane piled a plate with the remaining pancakes and placed the syrup and cutlery on the tray along with a cup of coffee before following Katie back to Maura's room.
Pushing the door open, the young girl then jumped on the bed. "Maura. Maura. Wake up! We have breakfast." She said grinning.
"Breakfast? Wow, ok." The honey-blonde said, stretching and shifting herself to sit against the headboard. That's when she first looked up and noticed the detective stood at the end of the bed carrying a tray of food. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the sight.
"We made pancakes." Katie said.
"I can see that. And I thought you couldn't cook?" She said, winking at Jane.
"You've not tasted them yet." She replied, settling the tray on her lap and sitting on the corner of the bed. Katie had scooted up next to Maura and was helping pour the maple syrup on her food.
"They're really good!" She exclaimed.
"I bet they are if you two made them for me." She said, taking her first mouthful. "They are really good. Thank you. What a lovely surprise."
"It was Jane's." Katie exclaimed, beaming at the brunette who looked a little embarrassed.
"I…it's nothing. Listen, I'll go get a shower if that's ok while you two enjoy some time together."
"Of course." Maura answered, a little disappointed to have her leave so soon.
…..
Once she had washed and dressed, she towel dried her hair before stepping back into the bedroom. Katie had gone and Maura was sat up in bed still. Their eyes found one another's immediately and Jane awkwardly shifted her feet as she ran a hand through her wet curls.
"Bathroom's free." She said, trying to fill the silence.
"Breakfast was wonderful Jane." She replied, smiling.
"You're welcome."
"You seem, unsettled. Are you alright?" She asked, concerned at the distance that had somehow grown between them.
"Yes…yes of course."
"Then stop pacing and come sit down." She said softly, patting the space by her legs.
Jane walked over and sat beside the honey-blonde and smiled as she felt her hand be taken hold of.
"You know, you're the first person to ever bring me breakfast in bed Jane?" Maura said, her eyes dropping to their hands.
"Really?" The brunette said with a chuckle.
"Why would you find that so hard to believe?" The hazel-green eyes asked with sadness in them.
"Well because, it's breakfast in bed. I would imagine that someone would have done that for you other than me, you know, like a parent or a…a…a lover?" She replied.
"No. This is the first time. It seems as though I keep experiencing 'firsts' with you." She blushed.
"What else, er…was your first?" Jane asked, her eyes dropping to Maura's lips as she spoke.
"When you…"
The door opened and Katie reappeared with a sketchpad in hand.
"I brought these in to show you." She said with a smile and sat next to Jane, putting the pad on her lap.
The detective glanced back at Maura giving her a reassuring look before speaking.
"Let's have a look at these then." She said, hugging the girl to her with one arm. "Hey, these are great." She continued, leafing through the pages. "Is this one of the cove?"
"Yeah. And this one is Mum and Dad's house."
"You're really good. I think I might have to have you draw something for my fridge."
"Cool." Katie said with a grin. "I'll draw us with our detective's badges."
"That would be fantastic. I can't wait. Why don't you make a start whilst your sister gets ready ok?"
"Ok." She said, hopping down and running back to her room.
Jane sighed and looked back over at Maura.
"You alright?" She asked, quietly.
"Yes Jane. I was just thinking."
"Penny for them? I'd offer you more but I'm broke." She smiled, with a chuckle.
Maura laughed, slipping out of the bed and reaching for her gown.
"I'm going to get ready for our day. Katie is being collected after lunch."
"Sure…I'll leave you to it then." Jane replied, with one last look before leaving the honey-blonde alone in the bedroom. Sighing she made her way to the kitchen happy for the distraction of the washing up to focus her mind. It wasn't long before Katie joined her, opting to draw her picture at the dining table, as there was 'better light'. Jane had given her a quick squeeze after she's said that, relishing how bright this young girl really was.
After she was done tidying away she walked out onto the veranda to soak up the mid-morning rays. The beach was quiet. No one was in sight although as Jane appreciated there were only a scattering of houses along the stretch of sand so there wouldn't be that many inhabitants.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" Maura asked, suddenly appearing at her side.
"I think I'd just like to sit here for a while if that's ok? I mean, I can't remember the last time I've had a break away from work to just unwind."
"Can I get you anything then? A drink maybe?"
"A diet coke would be nice." She replied, smiling.
"Coming up."
Jane relaxed into the chair and closed her eyes, hearing the sound of the waves crashing calmly against the shore. After last nights sleep she hadn't felt this relaxed or free from the memories that haunted her.
"I'll leave it here for you." Came a soft voice near her ear, and then a light hand brushed her shoulder before disappearing again.
She knew she'd fallen asleep because when she woke, her drink was warm, a ring of water on the wooden table where the coldness had gathered and pooled away. Looking out to sea she saw Maura and Katie playing badminton on the sand and she smiled at the sight before padding down to join them.
"Hey. Sorry. I drifted off."
"That's fine Jane. We were happy to leave you."
"You want to play?" Katie asked.
"No. You two should sweat it out." She grinned. "Who's winning?"
"Maura." The young girl said with a sigh.
"Oh, well that's a bit unfair. I thought big sisters were supposed to let their siblings win?"
"And what message would that send?" The honey-blonde asked in confusion.
"That's not important."
"Oh, and I suppose you let your brothers win too?"
"Well…ok, no…but they were boys."
"That's very sexist of you Jane."
"Just play nice." The detective said, under her breath.
Maura smiled, before returning to her game, this time playing to lose, although that notion was something she had never done before. Then lunchtime came and went and Katie was packed up ready to leave.
"I don't want to go." She said, tears in her eyes.
"I know sweetheart, but you have school starting up again, and I have my new job to go to."
"It's not fair! I want to stay with you and Jane."
Maura looked across at the detective, not knowing what else she could say to help her sister.
"Hey." Jane said, heading over and kneeling down. "You'll have lots of cool things to talk to your friends about, like how much fun you've had with Maura and how you're like a detective now. You'll be just fine, and before you know it you'll be back to stay again." She said, cupping the girl's cheek in her hand.
"Will you stay too?" She asked.
"I'd like that." Jane said, knowing she was going to miss Katie.
She pulled her in for a cuddle before standing up and helping her slip her backpack on.
"I think I heard mother's car." Maura said, suddenly looking tense.
Katie took Jane's hand and took her along with them outside and back onto the driveway where a sleek black Jaguar was parked. One of the back doors opened and a strikingly beautiful woman with dark hair stepped out and started to walk towards them.
Jane noticed a young man dressed in a black suit get out of the drivers seat before proceeding to Maura's door, she presumed to grab Katie's luggage.
"Katie. Maura." The woman said, as they stopped in front of one another. "And you must be..." She said, her eyes looking the brunette up and down.
"This is our mother, Constance; Mother this is Jane, the detective Katie was telling you about." Maura said, her tone short and clipped.
"Nice to meet you." Jane said extending her hand for what could only be described as a weak handshake.
"Did you have a nice time darling?" Constance said, her focus falling on her youngest child as she hugged her tightly.
"Yes. Do I have to go?" Katie asked.
"You have school to attend too, and Daddy and I have missed you terribly, so yes, I'm afraid you do."
"Jane gave me a badge." She said suddenly, reaching into her coat pocket and holding up the shield to her mother. "She says I'm a detective now." She said, a smile warming her face.
"Well that's very nice dear. Come along. Say goodbye to your sister." She replied, her chauffeur already back in the car, bags packed in the trunk.
Katie slipped the badge away before hugging Jane and then Maura, reluctant to let go of her sibling's hand as she got in the car.
"I'll see you soon sweetheart." Maura said, pushing the door closed sadly, before stepping away from the vehicle.
"See you soon dear." Constance said, without a backwards glance or a touch of affection.
"Goodbye mother." The honey-blonde replied, before slowly walking back towards the house.
Jane stood and waved at Katie until she disappeared out of sight along the coast road before finding Maura stood on the veranda, arms wrapped round herself. Instinctively, the brunette turned her in her arms and captured her in a warm embrace, clasping her fingers together against the small of her back.
"You must think me so foolish." Maura said after a few moments, her arms finding their way round Jane's body.
"Why would I think that?"
"Because of my mother…because she shows me nothing but disdain."
"That doesn't make you foolish Maura. She's the fool for not seeing what she has right in front of her." She said, sighing, resting her cheek in honey-blonde hair.
"I just let her do this to me. I'd stopped seeing them you know?" She said, breathing deeply. " But then they got Katie and I couldn't ignore that. I had to be part of her life."
"Of course you did. She loves you very much, you can see that."
"Really?" Maura said, looking up at Jane and stepping away slightly.
"Really. You might think you're this 'socially awkward woman' Maura, but all Katie sees is her big sister who wants to spend time with her, taking her places and investing in her. That's all that matters."
"You're good at this." She smiled.
"At what?"
"Seeing people. Understanding them."
"I guess it comes with the job." She chuckled. "Come on. Let's get you a big glass of wine as I'm driving back." Maura looked at her. "You didn't think I'd forget that did you?" The brunette grinned.
…..
They headed home just after seven, following a relaxing afternoon and meal outside together. Maura had asked all about Jane's family and upbringing and had shared her own stories. Those had caused the detective to flinch on several occasions due to the lack of love the honey-blonde had received.
Jane was really enjoying the drive, loving how the powerful car felt under her grip. Maura had put her music on shuffle again and seemed happy listening as they made their way back along the highway and into Boston.
"I can't believe it's still raining." Jane sighed, as she pulled up onto the driveway.
"It doesn't seem as heavy."
"True, but after a weekend of sunshine this pretty much sucks." She grunted, slipping out of the seat and putting her phone away. "Let's get unpacked before the heaven's open."
"Clouds Jane. It's clouds that produce rain."
"It's just an expression Maura." She smiled, loving how literal the scientist in her could be.
"Somehow they can be so misleading." She muttered, grabbing her keys and unlocking the house.
Jane threw her own bits in her car and helped unload the rest into the hallway, before they both got in from the rain.
"It's certainly colder than The Cape too." The brunette said, putting the groceries down on the island.
"I'll put the heating on, unless you'd like me to make the fire up for you."
"Don't worry on my account. I've got an early start in the morning, so I'll make a move."
"That's a shame after such a relaxing weekend." She replied, as they walked into the lounge.
"Just the way it works. I don't mind. It's not like I sleep much anyway." She smiled.
"You did last night." Maura said, looking into her eyes.
"Yeah…I did. That was actually…the first time since Hoyt." Jane answered, honestly.
"Another first." She whispered, as they approached the door.
The detective overheard, her mind switching back to breakfast and their interrupted conversation.
"You mentioned that this morning…about firsts I mean." She said, watching as Maura pressed herself against the wall as if for balance.
"Yes…I…I'm glad you slept Jane. You seemed to relax after your nightmare here the other night too. You know, some studies do show that sleeping in contact with another human being relaxes the brain and allowing the body to release stress and tension." She gabbled, before biting at her bottom lip.
"Or it may just be you." She breathed.
"You were my first Jane." Maura said, reaching up and cupping the detective's face, her thumb gliding over the corner of her mouth.
"Your first…?" She sighed, leaning into the contact.
"The first person I have shared my bed with. Not for sex, but for contact…for a connection. No one has ever got this close to me." She whispered, her eyes falling to the soft lips she was caressing, her thumb getting braver as it traced over the fullness it found beneath it.
"Maura." Jane sighed, her words kissing at the touch she was relishing.
The doctor leaned in slowly, her eyes flicking from the detective's to the mouth she was so eager to claim. She slipped her thumb to the side as she brought her own lips against Jane's, sucking softly at the bottom lip trapped between her own. She couldn't suppress the low moan that escaped as the kiss was returned with an urgency she had yet to process. A need seemed to possess the brunette that had forcibly pinned her against the wall, her hands clutching at her waist. She eagerly wrapped her hands in dark hair, pulling the hunger from the mouth devouring her as she allowed Jane's tongue access. Arching her back she pressed her breasts against the brunette's her arousal overwhelming every other sense in her body at finally being able to taste and touch the woman who had hold of her.
She moaned again, as she felt a hand cup her ass through her skirt and she bit down on the lip she had taken between her own again, eliciting a growl from the detective who answered with a roll of her hips. Maura grabbed at the jacket Jane was wearing, as she pulled apart simply to catch her breath, urgently trying to access some skin to cling to. Tugging on the detective's lip again, she sighed.
"God Jane…I want you so much." She panted, her voice thick with desire as she looked up into Jane's dilated eyes. "Take this off." She breathed heavily, her lips dancing over the brunette's teasing her with her mouth and tongue.
"Maura." The detective answered, with a need so great she thought she would burst.
"Kiss me." She challenged, sensing the change in Jane's posture as she brought her forehead to rest on the honey-blondes.
"I…I shouldn't have done that."
"You want this as much as I do Jane. I saw it in your eyes and I felt it on your lips. Don't fight this. You don't have to fight this." She sighed, forcing her to look in her eyes again before she placed a gentle kiss on her mouth. "Please don't fight this."
Jane held the hands that were holding her face and looked deeply into Maura's eyes. She could see the lust there so clearly, but she also saw her need for something more, for something she wasn't sure she knew how to give any more.
"I can't give you what you want Maura."
"And what is it I want Jane?"
"This…this…us, I…I don't think I can so this."
"Don't think, feel. I never knew I had that ability till I met you. Now all I seem to do is feel." She sighed, knowing their moment was slipping away.
"I need time…I just…I need some time…I'm so sorry." Jane said, dropping there hands down between them. "I shouldn't have led you on…I…"
"You didn't Jane. You've done nothing wrong."
"I shouldn't have kissed you."
"I'm glad you did. At least I know you feel something for me. You can't deny that."
"No…I wouldn't. That was…incredible, truly…I…"
"Need time. I know. It's ok." Maura said, touching her cheek lightly again.
"Don't wait for me Maura." Jane said, with a deep sigh.
"I have nowhere else I want to be detective. Please don't push me away. Whatever this is between us is something special. It's worth the wait. You're worth the wait. Whatever you want I will give you, unconditionally." She said with a smile that almost broke Jane's heart.
"I can try. I don't want to lose this either. You're the only thing I have in my life that's just mine. Separate to my family, my job." She said. "I know I need you." She replied, with an honesty that scared her.
"You have me Jane. Never forget that." She said, moving towards the door.
The brunette pulled her back into a tight embrace before breathing the words. "Thank you," into her hair. Stepping back her hand on the handle she added. "I hope your first day goes well."
Maura felt sick, wishing above all else that she had elected to tell Jane about her job from the start. 'And now she's told me that she enjoys having me separate from that life. Oh god.' She mentally chastised herself, before grabbing hold of Jane's hand.
"I made you a promise last night. Do you remember what it was?" She asked, searching the detective's eyes.
"You promised you'd never pity me." She replied.
"Will you make me a promise Jane?"
"Yes."
"Whatever happens tomorrow, promise me you will come and find me and ask me how my day went." She stated in earnest.
"Of course. How could you think I wouldn't? I know I asked for time but I won't run. You deserve to be treated better than that, than this." She added, squeezing her hand.
"Just…promise me." She asked again, her eyes flicking over Jane's for the reassurance she so desperately craved.
"I promise Maura. I promise."
The honey-blonde sighed with a smile and quickly pressed her lips to Jane's, praying it wouldn't be for the last time.
"Thanks again for this weekend and for…for being you." The brunette smiled, her heart still hammering in her chest.
"I had the best time. Drive safely."
"I will. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Jane." She said, their eyes meeting one last time before the detective trudged back out into the rain.
Maura closed the door and let out all the tears she had built up inside realising that for the first time she was truly scared. For this was the first time she could lose something that she had no control over. It would be a long night for Doctor Maura Isles.
I hope that keeps you all satisfied over the weekend. I'll me able to update again on Monday when we'll see how Maura gets on at her first day of work. There could be fireworks!