CHAPTER NINE - BETRAYAL

"One more time," Edward insisted. "A little higher."

I tossed another fry across the table, aiming it into Edward's waiting mouth. I missed again and the fry bounced off his forehead and landed on a neighbor's table.

"Sorry," I called towards their glares. "Again…" I added softly.

"You really suck at this," Edward remarked wiping the salt of his forehead.

"I never claimed to be good," I said, sipping my lemonade. "French fry basketball was your idea, remember?"

"Right," Edward laughed. He crossed his arms across the table. "So."

"So… What?" I twirled my fork in my fettuccine.

"You never answered my question." Edward looked at me expectantly.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" I asked.

"I'm just curious, what's the big deal?"

"Cause you don't remember, so it doesn't matter," I said shoveling a forkful of noodles into my mouth.

"How will I remember if you don't tell me?" Edward asked.

I waited until I had swallowed my food before answering him. "Alice or Emmett or someone else can't answer this question for you?"

"Bella, geez!" Edward laughed. "Why are you avoiding this question so much? Just tell me! What was I doing when I got in the accident? Where was I going in such a hurry?

I looked up at him and sighed. "You were getting me flowers."

Edward scrunched his eyebrows together. "I was getting you flowers." The sentence came out as a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, sorry it wasn't something more spectacular." I took another bite of fettuccine.

"Why was I getting you flowers?"

I sighed again. This had to be talked about at some point; might as well be now. "I had come over to talk to you about my feelings for you. We talked, you felt the same way, we made out, then you insisted on running out and buying me flowers and a card and you were t-boned on the way home."

Edward didn't say anything in response. He pursed his lips and looked down at his hands, before glancing back up at me, his look indicating he wanted more elaboration.

I rolled my eyes before giving him more details. "You got me these two dozen long stemmed roses in this crystal vase. They survived the crash and they were sitting in your hospital room when I saw you for the first time. There was a card with them… Some mushy Hallmark card that you had written this really sweet message inside that I must have read a thousand times and have pretty much not let it out of my sight since the accident… It's sort of all I have left you know…" I stopped talking. I was rambling badly. Plus I might have given away more then I wanted to.

"Do you have it with you now?" Edward asked eying my purse.

Damn, he had caught that last part…

"What?"

"The card. Is it with you now?"

"Why—Why does that matter?" I whispered pulling my purse onto the seat next to me.

"You said you didn't let it leave your sight, do you have it with you?"

"Why?" I repeated.

"You don't think it could help?" Edward asked, giving me those irresistible puppy dog eyes. "Let me see it, please?"

"No." I clutched my purse to my chest like it was holding the antidote to a global killing disease.

"Why not? I wrote it," Edward said defensively.

"It's mine."

"Bella, I'm not going to take it from you." Frustration was creeping into his voice. He held his hand out. "Can I see what I wrote?" He tilted his head to the side and waited patiently, his hand not moving.

I glanced down into my purse and saw the tattered edge of the card poking out. At the moment I was aching to read it again… Like I didn't already have it memorized… But to read his words in his handwriting, his sentiments, his declaration to me; it was bittersweet… Sitting at this table with him, knowing the words in this precious card truly meant nothing in the end. I hesitantly pulled it out and gripped it tightly.

"Bella, please?" Edward urged, his hand still out waiting.

I slowly extended the card and placed it gently in his hand, a panic attack slowly building inside my body, which I knew was really ridiculous, as it was a card for Christ's sake, and not to mention, what was he going to do with it? Read it, start raging and burn it? Throw it in the garbage? Tear it up, sprinkle it on his fiesta chicken and eat it?

While I didn't honestly expect something that drastic, I did expect some sort of reaction out of Edward when he took the card from me. He gently opened it, scanned what was written inside, and just as quickly, closed it and shoved it back into my hand.

I blanched. "What?"

"Nothing, it just—" Edward's hands snaked into his hair and he pulled at it in aggravation. "Nothing."

I didn't press the issue. I knew pushing Edward to talk wouldn't help the situation. I knew exactly how the conversation would go. Edward would get frustrated and start telling me how he "hated hurting me." I would insist that it was "ok" even though it wasn't. I wouldn't be able to hold back my tears and I would start crying, in turn making Edward even more uncomfortable then he probably already was, thus ruining our lunch date. It wasn't worth it.

I gently put the card back in my purse and silently took another bite of my pasta.

Edward changed the subject quickly, his voice coming out sounding strained." You know, we haven't really sat down and talked since all this happened," he said. "Tons of pictures and scrapbooks and home videos, but we haven't really talked at all."

"Yes we have," I protested. "We've talked plenty."

"No, every time things get too heavy, you run away," Edward said. Flat out. Out on the table. No sugar coating.

Again, I could feel the tears spring behind my eyes. But I was determined not to show Edward that side of me anymore. I held it back, but didn't make eye contact with him just in case.

"Telling it like it is, huh?" I said.

"Well, it's true." Edward said. He reached out and touched my hand. It took all my strength not to pull it away. "Talk to me."

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked. I looked up into his green eyes. Big mistake. I was caught in the deep ocean that was his emerald irises. An undercurrent caught me and I couldn't escape. I was drowning in his eyes.

"Bella?"

I snapped back to reality. "Sorry, what?"

Edward looked amused. "That for instance," he said. "Why do you do that? When you make eye contact with me? I've see you act that way before."

"It's nothing," I said looking down at my hands. His left hand was still resting on mine. My blood was boiling. I could feel the heat radiating through my body.

"We're talking, remember?" Edward pulled his hand back and crossed his arms.

I glanced back up at him. "Your eyes… They're…" I hesitated. "They're my favorite thing about you."

"Really?" Edward smiled again.

"Yeah." I began massaging the back of my neck. "It's really easy for me to lose myself in them."

"Oh," the amused look returned to Edward's face. "What's my favorite thing about you?"

I was a little taken aback. "Ummm…"

"Did we never talk about that?"

"Well, yeah," I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "This."

Edward looked confused. "What?"

I pointed at my cheeks. "Am I blushing?"

"Yeah."

"That."

"I liked your blushing?"

"Yeah," I took a drink of my lemonade, forcing down the lump forming in my throat. "You thought it was endearing."

"Thought?"

I looked up at him. "What, you still think its endearing?"

"It's cute," he said, reaching out to touch my cheek. "I hadn't noticed it before."

"Yeah, well," I shrugged, shaking my head to brush off his touch. A hurt look flickered across his face but disappeared quickly.

The waitress stopped at our table to refill our drinks, giving me a moment of escape from the intensity of the conversation. I had about fifteen seconds to recollect my thoughts before she wordlessly flounced to the next table.

Edward rested his chin on his hand and picked the conversation back up like nothing had happened. "So when are you going back to work?"

I made a quick mental note to add another reason to slap Alice to the quickly growing list. "Does Alice tell you everything?" I teased.

Edward shrugged. "I don't want you to risk losing your job because of me," he said.

"It's taken care of." I waved his concern away. "No worries."

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Sorry for being concerned."

"Don't worry about me; you never did before," I smiled at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Edward feigned shock.

I giggled. "Remember the ant story?"

"Oh ha-ha, very funny," Edward smirked. "Give me a hard time for something that a: I don't remember happening and b: Was like, 15 years ago."

The waitress interrupted our conversation by bustling back over to our table. "Sorry bout that, I'm swamped!" She drawled. "Ya'll need anything? Ready for dessert?"

Edward looked at me, his eyebrows raised. "Dessert?"

I glanced quickly at the dessert menu on the table. "Yeah, ummm, I'll have the chocolate cheesecake."

"I'll have a—"

"Wait!" I interrupted. Both Edward and the waitress gave me an alarmed look.

"Betcha I can guess what you're going to order," I taunted wiggling a finger at Edward.

He looked surprised. "Oh you do?"

I turned towards the waitress. "He wants a Blondie, but with no nuts and with an extra scoop of ice cream." I looked back at Edward.

His mouth was hanging open slightly. After a few seconds, the corners of his mouth pulled up and he started laughing. The waitress cleared her throat and looked at Edward expectantly.

"Oh yeah, sorry," Edward turned his attention back to our server. "That's exactly right, thanks."

She rolled her eyes before picking up our plates and hurrying back to the kitchen.

The look on Edward's face was priceless. "How did you know that's what I was going to order?"

"Edward, I've gone out to eat with you a thousand times and you order the same dessert every single time."

"Well," his voice came out sarcastic but teasing. "Excuse me for being predictable."

It felt like this date/not a date was going incredible. It started out a little rocky, but I was genuinely having a good time. I felt like I had finally turned over that new leaf. I must have had a really stupid look on my face because Edward said, "What are you thinking about? You look weird."

I smiled. "I was thinking about how nice this is."

"It is nice." Edward stretched his arms across the back of the booth. He surveyed me silently.

I suddenly felt self-conscience. "What?" I said uneasily.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he laughed.

I would have pressed the issue but our desserts showed up at that moment. I dug into my cheesecake without another word. Cheesecake was my weakness. If you ever wanted to get me to shut the hell up, feed me cheesecake.

"You want a bite?"

I looked up to see Edward holding his fork out to me with a huge chunk of brownie and ice cream resting on top of it. I reached out to take the fork but Edward pulled it back. "Uh-uh, open up."

Was he kidding? I was a bit taken aback but hesitantly opened my mouth and leaned towards his hand. He gently placed the fork in my mouth. I closed my lips around the brownie as he pulled the fork out of my mouth in one quick motion. I chewed looking down at the table, a little intimidated to look up at Edward.

"Good huh?" He said taking another bite.

I was confused. He was acting so… Normal. That was something he would have done before the accident. I didn't let myself dwell on it too long though, as I still had cheesecake waiting to be eaten. I tucked that little tidbit away in the back of my mind and resolved to obsess over it later, when I was alone.

"Ohhh," Edward moaned. I looked up at him and saw that he had cleaned his plate and was now patting his stomach appreciatively. "I am stuffed!"

"Me too," I said swallowing my last bite of cheesecake. Best part of the meal, hands down.

The waitress brought our check, Edward insisted on paying and the next thing I knew, we were back at his apartment.

"You need help getting in?" I asked.

"No, I got it," Edward answered digging his keys out of his pocket. "Just gotta be prepared."

I was really fishing for an invitation inside so I could spend more time with him, but I didn't want to push my luck. Today went amazingly and I didn't want to risk ruining it.

"This was fun, thank you again," I repeated. Even though technically he was supposed to be taking me out to lunch, I still put up a good fight when he had tried to pay.

"I told you I was repaying you for the escort to the hospital." Edward leaned in and without warning, enveloped me in a tight hug.

I wasn't prepared and felt all the air whoosh out of my body. I sucked in another lungful of air and got a good whiff of a mixture of Edward's cologne and shampoo: spicy and minty and a little woodsy. I felt lightheaded. He pulled away as quickly as he leaned in and I was craving more. A lot more.

"Call me tomorrow?" He asked opening the door.

"Uh, yeah." I was seeing stars.

Edward pulled his crutches out of the backseat and staggered out of the car. "Talk to you then, then." He shot me a dazzling smile before shutting the door and hobbling up to his apartment.

I didn't even remember the drive home. I was dizzy with Edward's scent. I got my car parked and danced up to the walkway leading to my apartment. I skipped the rest of the way. I hadn't skipped since I was ten years old. I was giddy with energy. Today went amazingly well. Granted, there were tense moments, but overall, mine and Edward's lunch date when way better then I ever would have expected. Maybe it was possible for us to start over. We were on the right path.

My skipping stopped short when I saw who was waiting for me on my doorstep. Before she saw me, I dug my phone out of the bottom of my purse and looked at the display. Five missed calls and three text messages. Good thing I had put my phone on silent during lunch.

Alice was angrily punching something into her phone and within a few seconds, the display on my phone flashed with yet another text message from her. I flipped my phone open and deleted everything without even reading it. I had no desire for her negativity right now. I felt like I was floating on a cloud and I didn't need her dragging me down.

"What do you want?" I called at her as I approached my front door.

As she looked up at me, rage twisted Alice's features. "Where the hell have you been?" she shouted.

"First of all," I started pushing past her to unlock my door. "Don't yell at me." I walked into my apartment and tossed my purse and keys onto the coffee table. "And second of all," I spun back to face her. "Why is it any of your business?"

Alice stomped into the apartment after me not bothering to shut the door behind her. "Were you with my brother?" she demanded.

"Again," I crossed my arms defensively in front of me. "Why is that any of your business?"

Alice was fuming. She stalked back and forth in front of my front door wordlessly.

"Why are you here, Alice?"

She stopped short and glared at me. "Why did you go out with him?" She seethed.

I wasn't sure how to answer her question. "Why did I go out with him? Are you serious?"

"I wanted to go to lunch with you, and you said, no, then you blew up at me like I had done something wrong!" Her arms flailed around her tiny body.

I didn't really have an explanation for her. Sure, it was rude of me to blow her off in favor of seeing Edward, but she would never understand how my body ached for him, whether he felt the same way or not. I orbited towards him no matter how much it hurt me, no matter what the consequence, so when he says, "jump," I say, "how high?" She just wouldn't get it and no matter what I said to her, she would stay angry with me for choosing him over her when in truth, she had been my rock since this had all happened. My rage towards her from earlier in the day had completely resolved with my good mood, and I genuinely felt bad for throwing her feelings to the side.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry, I had a bad morning." Apologizing seemed like the only logical thing to do.

Alice crossed her arms and tapped her foot furiously. "But you'll always go running back to him no matter what right? No matter if he wants you or not."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded. As much as I didn't want to fight with her, her cryptic little questions were beginning to gnaw at my nerves.

"That wasn't even his idea!" Alice blew up. Her eyes were wild and she had a crazed look on her face. She had lost it.

I stared at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"He doesn't even want to be around you, you know that?!" She jabbed a finger in my direction.

I was taken aback. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. "What—What do you mean?" I breathed.

The venom was thick in Alice's voice. "He hates spending time with you!" She yelled. "You have no idea how uncomfortable he is every time you're in the same room with him! I have to fucking force him because I was more concerned about your feelings then his!! If it were up to him, he'd have nothing to do with you ever again!!"

I leaned my weight onto the back of my couch to keep my knees from buckling out from under me. I could feel my breaths start to catch in my throat; the telltale sign that the crying was about to start again. My reactions didn't even slow Alice down.

"The lunch date was my idea. I had to fucking bribe him to do it!" She took a step towards me. She was getting dangerously close. "I'm tired of putting your goddamn feelings first Bella! You are so fucking selfish!!"

I had nothing to say. Absolutely nothing would come out of my mouth. I clutched at my stomach; I was seconds away from throwing up my entire lunch. Part of my brain refused to believe what Alice was saying, but deep down I knew that this was what was going on all along. Of course Edward felt nothing for me. Why would he? I wasn't anything special. I was just some random girl that appeared in his life out of nowhere. Who was I to him? Nobody. A dream. A forgotten memory.

Alice had stopped shouting and I could hear her breathing heavily just a few feet away from me. I couldn't even look up at her. My world was collapsing around me again.

"Bella…" Alice's voice had dropped several octaves. Her breathing slowed and she put her hand on my arm.

Her touch was all it took. I was raging again.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment!!" I slapped her hand away from my arm and stood up. I towered over her tiny 5'2" frame. For a second she looked afraid, but the expression was fleeting. She turned and stalked out of my apartment slamming the front door behind her.

I stood in the middle of my apartment and contemplated what to do. The feelings churning inside my body were conflicting and overwhelming. One part of me didn't believe Alice and wanted to chase her outside and beat her ass for ruining my day, while another part of me wanted to curl up and die. But the part that won was the angry part, the part that had me seeing red around the edges of my vision. The rage I felt earlier in the day was multiplied ten-fold and before I knew it, I was in my car speeding back to Edward's apartment. I was going to confront him. I was going to get to the bottom of this bullshit. Enough was enough.

I didn't even knock when I got to his apartment. Fortunately, he hadn't locked his front door or I might have seriously injured myself busting through the door the way I did.

Edward was sitting on his couch playing a game on an Xbox 360. I stopped short when I saw the controller in his hand.

"Bella?!" Edward tried to stand up, but his cast prevented him from doing so. The look on his face was alarmed and a tad frightened. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

"Where did you get that?" I whispered.

"Get what?" Edward glanced around his apartment, a confused look on his face.

"That." I said flatly, pointing at the controller in his hand. "You didn't have an Xbox the last time I was here."

"Oh," Edward glanced down, toying with the controls on the button pad. "This?" He skipped maybe half a beat. "It was a homecoming present."

"Bullshit," I sneered. "You don't have to play stupid with me anymore!"

"Bella, I don't know what you're talking about—"

"You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about!" I scoffed. "Was the Xbox Alice's 'bribe' to you for hanging out with me?"

All the color drained from Edward's face. He dropped the controller. It clattered against the coffee table as he reached out to me. He struggled to stand up. "Bella, I swear, it's not like that—"

"Don't even try to come near me!" I took a step back even though he made no move to actually position himself closer to me.

My emotions were taking over again. I could feel the sobs begin to bubble out of my throat and as hard as I tried to not show my weakness, they broke through. I clamped a hand over my mouth in an effort to keep the choking sounds inside my body. My head was swimming. I didn't know what to feel, say, do. I was lost.

"Bella, listen to me—"

"No." I was snapped back into reality. My voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "No, no more, ok?" I took a few steps back. "Forget I even exist, ok? No more of these stupid games." As I turned towards the door, I heard shuffling behind me and felt Edward grab my arm.

"Bella, please!" He tried to pull me back gently but I yanked away from his grip.

"No, Edward!" I pressed myself against the wall, trying to get as far away from him as possible. "I know now, you want nothing to do with me. This should be a relief for you." I inched my way towards the front door.

"I don't know what Alice told you, but please let me explain myself," Edward begged. He put his arm against the wall to block me from moving any further.

I put my hand on his arm and shoved it away from the wall. I felt an electric current shoot through my body when our skin touched and I pulled my arm back to my side violently. Edward gave me a questioning look as he stumbled backwards. I almost knocked him over and almost felt guilty. Almost. He didn't make another move to try to physically stop me from leaving, but the next time he spoke his voice was soft and pleading. "Please, please, let me explain myself."

"Today was all an act," I stated. It wasn't even a question. It was fact. He had faked everything.

"No, it wasn't just please listen to me—"

"Stop pretending, Edward!" A sob escaped with his name. I shook my head to clear my thoughts a bit and it took me all of a second to decide that I was done. No more arguing, no more pretending. I was ending this, now. Without another word, I pulled his front door open and threw myself into the cool twilight air. I pulled the door shut behind me to make sure he wouldn't follow, though I knew that wouldn't stop him if he really cared. Part of me hoped he would chase me, or chase me in the best way he could. But he didn't. His door stayed shut as I ran back to my car.

I felt lucky to have made it home safely. I was crying so hard I could barely see, my makeup stinging my eyes and making them water even more. I had to pull over twice to compose myself when I started choking. By the time I got back to my apartment, I knew what I was going to do.

I stalked to my bedroom and threw my closet door open. I began feverishly digging through the pile of half dirty laundry on my floor until I found what I was looking for, crumpled and damp in the pocket of a set of sweat pants. I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and looked down at the creased card in my hand.

Jacob Black
Personal Trainer
555-7693

All right, can I apologize for the HUGE lack of updating on my part? Ugh, I'm so sorry! Real life got in the way. :/ I was on vacation last week and planned to write, but I ended up with a horrible head cold and couldn't concentrate on anything. Plus, I've planned on trying to make the chapters a bit longer so it's taking me a little longer to get them down in Word. Anyway, if you few dedicated readers are still with me, thank you!! I appreciate you all and every time I get a review or story alert in my inbox, I geek out. You all make my day. :) Let me know what you guys think of this chapter. Anyone have any thoughts on what's coming next? ;)