Here's the new chapter, earlier than I thought it would be. I wanted it to have more content, but it somehow got so long (probably because of Zuko's feelings), so I chose to write two chapters instead.
Enjoy reading and please review!
I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs.
Chapter Ten
Confusion and Betrayal
Kilara
The next day was mostly really normal. I washed myself and had breakfast with my family. After telling the cook what to buy from the markets, I went to my room and started studying ancient Earth Kingdom politics. That was more like ancient Ba Sing Se politics. Nearly every subject I had was only about Ba Sing Se and not about the whole Earth Kingdom.
From the studies I also tried to learn how to proceed in my mission to let the people know about the war, but honestly I really hoped I would never have to do that. This plan would take me years and I really wished that the war would already be over at that point. But that didn't mean automatically that the people in Ba Sing Se would be free.
But I had a problem. My concentration was shitty.
Almost after every sentence I was reading my mind wandered off to other things and I totally forgot what I had been reading. Writing notes was equally a challenge.
I blamed Zuko. It was his fault that my concentration faded. If he just hadn't kissed me!
Groaning I leaned my head in my neck and ran my fingers through my hair. Dammit, Kilara, concentrate!
Treating the own family with dignity teaches a ruler to treat his own country with dignity. A country is like… blah blah blah blah.
Even the interesting stuff didn't go into my head!
But I just didn't know what to do and I had so many things on my mind! What would become of Zuko and me? Would we stay friends? Did he want more? Why the heck would he want more?
Waiting until Monday would be total torture! Two days were way too much to wait for things to explain and getting things to normal again!
I was wondering what Zuko was doing right now. Probably serving in the tea shop and mixing up orders again. I had to smile at that thought, since I had find that really sweet about him.
Wait.
No.
No, I was not starting to think that he was sweet! Because he clearly wasn't.
But nearly everything about him yesterday had been sweet. Maybe this was his normal self. If he would be like this every time from now on, then…
No, no, no! Then nothing. There was nothing! Absolutely nothing!
I let my head fall down on my desk and groaned again in annoyance. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about this? This situation was so embarrassing and complicated and confusing!
I pressed my eyes shut, trying to force me to concentrate.
Three minutes later I gave up and walked out of my room to Nanuk's room.
I opened the door without knocking and found his room empty.
Sighing I concentrated on the familiar feeling of the water in his body and felt his presence weakly in the yard. The closer I got the stronger the feeling of his presence became.
Nanuk was practising earthbending and seemed to try to learn a new form, when I interrupted him.
"Nanuk! I'm going to the Jasmine Dragon!" I said loud enough for him to hear me on the other side of the courtyard.
"What?" he asked, coming closer. "Again?"
I nodded. "Yes. I am in the mood for tea."
"We have tea here."
"Our tea is not as good as Mushi's tea," I stated, shifting my weight and crossing my arms.
"So you're going to see Lee again?" Nanuk grinned.
I tried to roll my eyes, but the heat in my cheeks probably betrayed me. "Maybe," I said, then turned around and left.
"Wait! I'm coming with you!" my brother shouted after me.
"What?" I shrieked, tensing, pulling my shoulders up and clenching my hands to fists.
Nanuk took a towel from a chair and dried some of the sweat on his face. "I still want to talk to Lee."
I narrowed my eyes, knowing that I was in a trap. If I kept telling him that he should not come, he would only insist more and be more stubborn about it. Besides, yesterday I had acted as if I didn't care about him coming or not. "I'll talk to him and you'll stay away!" I snarled.
Nanuk crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. "I thought I could talk to him."
I swallowed, fidgeting with my hair and pictured the worst possible scenario which could happen.
"I recognised you from the wanted posters! You are Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation! Kira, stay away from him! Guards! Anyone! He's from the Fire Nation! He's the Fire Lord's son!"
What if that would happen? It would be a total nightmare! Gritting my teeth I tried to calm myself. Nanuk had seen Zuko already once and he hadn't recognised him. Denzai was really smart and he hadn't even guessed they were from the Fire Nation, so there was no way that Nanuk would recognise Zuko now. After all, he had a lot more hair now than on the wanted poster. Even more than the first time I had seen him. I liked the longer hair, though. It kind of looked cute.
Heat rushed through my cheeks, as I told myself over and over again that I did not find him cute!
"You can," I growled. "But you'll leave after you talked to him!"
My brother raised his eyebrows. "And leave you alone with him?"
I smirked. "We'll be in an occupied tea shop with lots of people everywhere. Besides, it didn't bother you that much when I was alone with him yesterday!"
"That's because I didn't know anything about yesterday before and when you told me it had already happened, so why argue about it?"
Narrowing my eyes I walked up to him and poked a finger in his chest. "You will leave after you talked to him!"
Rolling his eyes he backed away, his hands held up. "Okay, okay, geez! Don't get so worked up!"
"I'm not getting worked up!" I yelled, turning around and walking back inside, my nose held high in the air. "Now get ready or I'll go without you!"
"Urgh!" Nanuk groaned and rushed past me to his room to get ready.
I sat outside in front of the door on the stairs and fidgeted with my right braid. I always took two front parts of my hair and plaited them, leaving the rest of my hair down or put them into a ponytail or a bun. Today I had them in a loose bun and some strands were tickling my neck.
Sighing I told myself that everything would be fine. Nanuk would probably embarrass me, but not find out about Zuko's identity and then we would talk and somehow all of this would make sense and we could just go back to be friends again. Yeah.
When Nanuk finally came back, I stood and brushed the dust off my clothes. "We'll need to go to Denzai's again. Only he can get us into the upper ring."
Nanuk shook his head. "That's actually not true," he murmured. "Yao made a guard give me a permit to enter the upper ring."
"What?! Why didn't you say anything yesterday?!" I shouted, gesturing wildly.
Nanuk grimaced. "Because I didn't want you to go into the upper ring that late! You missed dinner!"
"I had an excellent dinner, for your interest. Fine, but don't think I would forget that!" I hissed and turned around, walking towards the train station.
After a few minutes I quickly began to miss Denzai's company, since my brother was behaving like an idiot again.
"You know this would be a lot more easier and less embarrassing for you, if you would just tell me what had happened yesterday," Nanuk said for the third time, while we were on the train.
"Okay, fine!" I relented, snapping at him and told him vaguely what had happened yesterday, leaving out anything about Zuko's identity or the kiss. But thinking about it still made me blush.
It wasn't that big of a deal, right? A kiss meant nothing really. Kissing didn't mean a person liked the other one that way. Maybe I had said something or looked at him in a way that had him want to kiss me. But I couldn't exactly imagine Zuko kissing a girl he didn't like.
Frowning I noticed that I didn't like the thought of him kissing another girl at all. Oh no, was I jealous?
I really much wanted to scream, tear my hair out and hide underneath the seat.
I couldn't wait to talk to Zuko to work things out.
Around fifteen minutes later we were sitting at a table in the Jasmine Dragon, but I couldn't see Zuko, nor his uncle. Other waiters brought us tea and after waiting for far too long and listening to Nanuk's teasing and stupid made up excuses for them not being here I asked one of them where Mushi and his nephew were.
"The master and his nephew are currently at the Earth King's palace. Great honour had been granted to our master by an invitation of the Earth King himself to serve him tea. Our master's talent is really exceptional," the woman said in a soft and admiring voice.
I heard what she was saying, but I still grimaced at her voice sounding so obedient.
"Oh, that's too bad, we wanted to talk to them. Do you know when they'll come back?" Nanuk asked, giving the woman a brilliant smile and I grimaced again. Moon, we were only fifteen years old and there he was flirting with a woman in her twenties. I rolled my eyes.
"Are you friends of them?" the woman asked curiously, smiling softly. Somehow everything about her seemed soft, caring and motherly. Her voice, her eyes, her smile, even her face and hands!
"Yes," I said, now smiling, too. "We are friends of Lee's."
"If you'll tell me your names, I will gladly tell Lee that you have been here."
"Kira and Nanuk," my brother said.
"No, it's Kilara," I corrected, because it crossed my mind that Zuko probably didn't even know that most people called me Kira and not Kilara. He had called me Kilara every time now.
The woman looked confused and I sighed, pulling out paper and ink from my bag. "I'll just quickly write a message. Could you please see to it that Lee will get it later?"
The woman inclined her head. "Of course."
Nanuk leaned in my direction, clearly curious of what I was going to write. "Stop it!" I hissed at him. "I can't concentrate!"
"Why do you need to concentrate when you're writing a letter to your boyfriend?"
"He's not my boyfriend!" I snarled, narrowing my eyes and put the quill into the ink.
Dear Zu (I crossed that out) Lee,
It is very unfortunate that you weren't here this morning for I really need to talk to you.
But serving tea to the Earth King, what a great honour! I hope it all goes well for the two of you! Say hello to your uncle from me!
Maybe you can come over after you're finished working today. Or I'll just come here again on Monday. You better be here then.
Best w (This was no work relationship, we were friends, so I crossed that out, too)
Love,
Kilara
"Er…" I stared at the crossed out words. "I'll write that again."
After I wrote it again neatly this time, I gave it to the nice woman who smiled and bowed. "I will make sure that Lee will get your message."
I smiled and nodded, then turned to look at my brother who looked slightly worried.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"What? Just because he's not here?"
Nanuk shrugged. "I don't know a lot about female emotions, but you could be sad or angry. I'll take it that you didn't know that he was serving tea to the king today."
I narrowed my eyes, but sighed then. "Yes, he didn't say that."
I started to worry why he hadn't told me. Was there anything going on? What if…
No! No, I trusted Zuko. And General Iroh. They were only refugees here and there was certainly no plan to overthrow the city. I had to believe that. Besides, there was nothing I could do. They were gone, serving tea to the Earth King and all I could do was wait.
Nanuk cocked his head to the side. "Do you want to wait until they'll come back?"
I chewed on my lower lip, took a sip of my jasmine tea and shook my head. "No, we should head home."
It highly confused me that the thought of a conspiracy to overthrow the city didn't leave my mind. I had already decided to trust Zuko and Iroh, so why couldn't I just be happy for them that they were serving tea to the king? Besides, if there was a conspiracy it had to come from the inside, so that they would receive the invitation to enter the royal palace. And the Dai Li would immediately crush any attempts for treason.
But these thoughts didn't leave me the whole day. I felt uneasy and even watched, and just tried to distract myself. But there was something at the back of my mind that made my skin tingle and covered my skin in goosebumps.
I chewed all of my fingernails down until there was nothing left and when I couldn't stand it anymore I went to Nanuk's room and asked if he would be up for a spar. He was in, of course he was, since he loved to spar.
This was a far better distraction than studying, because I didn't have any choice than to concentrate on the fight.
But when I sent a particular large wave at Nanuk I shortly had the image of Zuko being swept away by a wave in my head. Blinking I tried to orientate myself and got encased in rock the next second.
I struggled, feeling the unease and wrongness grow and almost screamed.
Nanuk released me after a few seconds and I stormed past him to get into the fountain which stood in the middle of the courtyard and had provided me with water for the spar.
"Kira!" my brother shouted.
I took off my outer clothes and stepped into the fountain, submerging myself completely. I thought this would help. Feeling water around me had always calmed me, but not now. I even felt worse, more agitated.
"What are you doing?" Nanuk asked, bending down, his hands on his knees, to look at me.
"I'm trying to calm me," I explained and furrowed my brows. "But it doesn't work. It normally always works!" I shouted, quickly got up and grabbed my clothes.
"Hey!" Nanuk grabbed my arm, turning me around to look at him. "What is with you?"
"I don't know," I said. "But something feels off. I… I don't know how to explain it. It feels as if something bad would happen and I'd need to do something, but I don't know what!" I screamed, tears filling my eyes.
Nanuk's eyes widened and he put his hands on my shoulders. "Are you sure?"
I blinked in confusion and took a step back. "What?"
Nanuk frowned. "Don't tell me you never noticed it."
"Noticed what?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Somehow, don't ask me how, I have no freaking idea, you always know before something bad happens. Remember when I was nearly killed by that wolf hog as a kid?"
I nodded, snivelling.
"You had a weird feeling the whole day. You never got those feelings when dad left, because his journeys were always safe. But before mum died you behaved like this, too," Nanuk told me softly.
I blinked, noticing that he was right. I had felt that something was going wrong a day before out mother had died. I had screamed a lot and lied in bed, crying, not knowing what was wrong with me. Later I had thought it was just puberty.
"You're right. But that's crazy, Nanuk. I cannot feel catastrophes arriving. I'm probably just stressed and tired," I told him, yawning for emphasis.
"But Kira…"
"Nanuk, stop it! This is insane and not even possible! I'll just go to bed," I said, turning around, trying to silence the voice in my head which told me that Nanuk might be right and I should prepare myself for a catastrophe. "No disturbances."
Zuko
The throne room seemed darker to me than the only other room in this palace I had been in this morning with…
Rage, anger and hurt rose inside me as I thought about this morning.
Somehow it seemed strange to me that I had fought Azula earlier that day alongside Uncle and in the afternoon I had fought Uncle alongside Azula.
But I hadn't wanted to betray Uncle. I hadn't fought for Azula, but for the Fire Nation and my throne. Why hadn't Uncle seen that this had made the most sense in this situation? How could he have thought that I would betray my nation, our nation?
"We've done it, Zuko," Azula suddenly spoke, after the Dai Li agents had left. "It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se." She sounded so sure and proud of herself.
I wasn't able to feel the same way. The shock that I had felt when I had noticed that Uncle had defended the Avatar was still present. I felt ashamed that the look Uncle had given me still hurt so much. It had spoken of betrayal and disappointment.
Looking down I said: "I betrayed Uncle." How could I have done that? I never wanted to! I would have never thought that he would actually side with the Avatar! No one had asked him to! Then again, he couldn't be expected to side with his niece who had nearly killed him once. She would have succeeded if it hadn't been for Kilara…
"No, he betrayed you," Azula quickly said and I turned my head slightly in her direction.
Did he betray me? Maybe. He knew how important it was to me to go home, to have father's love and my honour.
I looked on the ground again, fighting against my emotions.
"Zuko," Azula said, standing up. I noticed that she didn't call me Zuzu anymore. Was it because I was on her side now? "When you return home father will welcome you as a war hero."
Frowning I looked to the side. Oh yeah? My mission had been pretty clear to me. If I could have returned home by simply being a war hero I would have tried so ages ago! "But I don't have the Avatar," I objected. "What if father doesn't restore my honour?" What if he didn't accept me back, what if he still saw me as weak and worthless? Was siding with Azula to fight the Avatar and Uncle enough to get father's love?
Why did I even care now? One day ago I had said and also thought that I didn't need, didn't want father's love and acceptance! How could I have changed so much during one day? Was it Azula and her mind games? Or had I just lied to myself, while unconsciously I had still wanted father's acceptance?
Azula laid a hand on my right shoulder and I turned towards her. It had been ages since she had ever done something like that. "He doesn't need to, Zuko. Today you restored your own honour."
I looked into her eyes, searching for any mischief or sarcasm, but all I could see was sincerity. Did she really mean that? Did she think that I just restored my honour all by myself? I kept searching her eyes and face for this Azula-manipulation-glint, but for once in seven years my sister's eyes held nothing but pride and satisfaction. It was nowhere near affection, but it was the closest to it Azula and father could show.
Frowning at her, since I didn't really know how to deal with that, I looked away, staring at the steps.
"Zuko. I'd love to have you living here in the palace with me. You're a prince, you deserve better than an apartment."
Quickly I turned towards her. "How do you know that?"
Now there was superiority and cunningness in her eyes and smile again. "Oh, please. I had agents following you."
"What?!" I growled and took a step towards her. How dare she?
Her smirk widened. "How else do you think did I manage to send the invitation to the palace to you?"
When I didn't stop glaring at her she rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's nothing personal. You should go to the apartment in case you want to have anything from there."
I narrowed my eyes. "I haven't agreed yet to stay here. Keep your palace, I'll stay in the apartment," I said, turning around and wanting to leave.
"Oh, you think your neighbours won't ask questions about Uncle's whereabouts? Don't you think they will notice that you are from the Fire Nation?" Azula called after me and I stopped.
She was right. Well, of course she was right, Azula was always right. How could I even look them in the eyes again, knowing I had betrayed them? But maybe it was even a good thing. Ba Sing Se would finally know about the war and reality would enter the city, destroying this sick utopia.
"You can ask the Dai Li to help you carry your stuff," Azula went on.
"I don't need any help. I don't have a lot of things there anyway," I said and kept walking.
"Don't take too long, dear brother!"
I flinched slightly and wondered why I couldn't just look back and smile at her, telling her not to worry. She was my sister after all. But the problem was also that she was Azula.
I had a bit of trouble finding the exit of this place, before I stared at the vast surface of earth surrounding the palace.
"Where are you going?" a cheery voice suddenly piped up behind me.
The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn't manage to put it anywhere and turned around.
A girl who seemed to be a little younger than me stood behind me. She wore fluttery pink clothes which left her stomach free. Her brown hair was cut in a pony and the rest was plaited in a long braid, falling down her shoulder.
I furrowed my brows. "Ty Lee?"
"Oh, I didn't notice it was you, Zuko!" she squeaked and ran towards me, hugging me.
I tensed and grimaced. What did give her the right to hug me?
"It's so great to finally see you!" she said, after she had let me go, grinning wildly. "I was really disappointed when I couldn't see you at least once, while we were chasing you!"
"You… were chasing me?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Almost three months ago Azula asked for my help in tracking you and your uncle down. But she always left us when we got close to you, wanting to take you down herself," she pouted. "Anyway, how have you been? It's been so long, can you believe this? You have grown so much! You didn't just get taller, you also look so manly now! I really like your hair, that still makes you boyish somehow!"
A knife flew by, cutting off a few strands of Ty Lee's pony.
I immediately settled into a fighting stance. "Who's there?" I growled, feeling a bit relieved not to have to listen to her anymore. She had always been like this, but it still got on my nerves. I had other things on my mind!
Ty Lee stemmed her hands in her hips and leaned a bit forward, looking in the same direction I did. "Hey! I was having a conversation here!" she shouted, sounding offended.
A sigh came from the shadows and a tall thin girl stepped towards us. Her black shiny hair was pulled up in three buns, two strands of hair hanging down her shoulders. Sharp amber eyes looked at us under an accurately cut pony. "It was highly one sided, Ty Lee, and I think you interrupted Zuko doing something," Mai said, sounding bored.
I frowned. It was strange seeing her so… aloof, neutral. She had never been like this when we were kids.
"I didn't mean to, because I didn't notice it was Zuko," Ty Lee argued back. "Besides, he had always been not a great talker, so one has to do it, otherwise it will get boring!"
Mai sighed and moved closer. "Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes.
Twisting my mouth I took a few steps back. "Well, it was nice seeing you, but I got to go." I said, pointing over my shoulder at the upper ring.
"Aren't you staying at the palace?" Ty Lee asked with big eyes.
"I am! I just need to grab some stuff," I explained vaguely and waved. "See ya!" Then I turned around and walked the steps down as fast as I could. Man, that had been awkward!
"Bye Zuko!" I heard Ty Lee shouting in a friendly voice.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, telling myself over and over again that I had done the right thing. Uncle had betrayed me. I had only done the most reasonable thing, which had been expected of me. It wasn't my fault that Uncle had decided poorly.
He would still be better in prison than on the raft in the Northern Sea without any food or fresh water. Why did I even care? It was him who should care about me! He had betrayed me, after all! Siding with the Avatar, the Earth Kingdom, when he had known what I, his nephew, the person he had told he saw as a son, wanted and needed. The Avatar's life had been more important to Uncle than my happiness. How could he? How could he have done that? Maybe I hadn't meant that much to him.
Pressing my eyes shut to stop my tears I didn't even notice that I had walked past the building in which the apartment was. Muttering to myself in anger I turned around and went to open the door where I noticed a piece of paper hanging there. Narrowing my eyes I approached it cautiously and fount it was a letter.
Dear Lee,
Friends of yours have been at the Jasmine Dragon today and left a letter for you. I told them you would receive it after you'd be back, but since you didn't come back, I ventured to leave the letter here for you.
I hope everything went well at the Royal Palace. Best wishes to Mushi!
See you tomorrow!
Warm regards,
Hay Ming
Friends of mine? I didn't…
Horror filled me, when I thought about Kilara. Was the letter from her? Had she wanted to see me today? What would she think of me, if she knew what I had done?
Narrowing my eyes I shook my head, entering the house and walking up the stairs. It didn't matter what she thought. I had done the right thing. Besides, Kilara had family from the Fire Nation, so how angry could she possibly be at me?
In the apartment I sat down on the sofa and opened her letter to read it.
…
Love,
Kilara
I stared at the end of her letter for I-don't-know-how-long minutes, happiness, fear and panic rushing through me.
Love.
She had ended her letter with "Love". No one had ever ended letters to me with "Love". My mother might have, but we were never separated, so she didn't need to write me any letters.
Did this mean anything? Had Kilara maybe felt the same I had yesterday, when I had kissed her? Or was she just being nice, because we were friends? But would we even stay friends, when she would find out what happened? Uncle had betrayed me, but I had been responsible for conquering Kilara's home. Not totally responsible, since I was sure that Azula would also have succeeded without my help.
I stiffened. Yes, that was true! Azula would have succeeded without me. She'd had all the Dai Li agents. Instead of me fighting the Avatar or his waterbender friend she would have just needed two more agents occupying me and the waterbender. She could have still killed the Avatar and with Uncle appearing so late… Why had she told me that she needed me? That we could only win, if I helped her? That we could only do this together? She hadn't needed me at all! Why hadn't she just got rid of me, like she had originally planned?!
I ran my hands over my face, staring at the floor, thinking things over and over again.
With Azula killing me, defeating me, taking me prisoner or even pushing me onto the Avatar's side, she would have been the only ever possible heir to the throne. That would have been her chance. She already almost succeeded in becoming the next Fire Lord. First, when I had got banished and second, when she should have imprisoned me.
What was she planning? What did she want?
Did she need me to make her look better in front of father? I was somehow valuable to her, but I didn't know yet how.
I looked at Kilara's letter again and pressed my eyes shut. She would know. Probably tomorrow the army would have marched through the middle ring, commanders declaring that the princess of the Fire Nation had conquered the city and that everyone had to swear loyalty to the Fire Nation.
I pictured Kilara at the gathering, looking furious when she would be forced to kneel. I swallowed against a lump in my throat. I didn't want to see that!
Tomorrow… By tomorrow she would know the truth. She would hate me.
Until now being a firebender, being the Fire Nation Prince, trying to capture the Avatar had not made her hate me. She had wanted to be my friend. I had even thought of more.
But siding with the Fire Nation in a conquest of the city, the last stronghold of the Earth Kingdom, the place where all the refugees went, because they thought they were safe there, that would clearly make her hate me.
I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth to calm myself down. I was not going to cry like an idiot or a baby!
I might have lost Kilara's friendship, but I gained my sister's trust and alliance. I would get my father's approval and love, he would restore my honour and my rightful place as heir to the throne. This was what I should concentrate on. I would finally have what I had craved for for the last three years! But why didn't I feel the great joy I had always imagined I would experience? There was no pride, no happiness.
I sighed. This would only come when I would be sure that father would accept me back.
But still. I only had one night to see Kilara before she would hate me forever. A good person might stay away because of a too bad conscience. But I had no bad conscience at all. I had no regrets!
Feeling decisive I stood up and gathered my stuff in a bag. My swords, my dagger, a picture of uncle, one of uncle and me and some clothes as long as we would stay here, until Ba Sing Se was secured. I wouldn't need Earth Kingdom clothes after that.
I was no idiot. I knew perfectly well that, even if Azula had let me go alone, she had sent agents after me, tracing my every move. I felt watched, but couldn't hear a thing. They were good, but I would be better.
Back at the palace the agents inclined their heads, when I walked by, and opened the gates for me. They might be agents, no guards or servants, but they should still bow and not just incline their heads! Bet they didn't do that to Azula.
Some things never changed.
When I was back inside I went to the first servant I could find. He was a thin and short middle aged man carrying a tray with empty cups. When he saw me his hands began to shake even more and a cup nearly fell to the ground.
I quickly caught it and stood back up, placing it on the tray. The man looked even more frightened now.
I frowned, not used anymore to servants and giving them orders.
"I'm Princess Azula's elder brother, Prince Zuko," I introduced myself, trying to sound neutral in a friendly manner. "She asked me to stay in the palace and I want to know where to find my quarters," I explained.
The servant bowed quickly, nodding exaggeratingly. "Yes, Your Highness, of course Your Highness! Please follow me."
I frowned when I thought about the tray he was still carrying and that I had stopped him from finishing his job. I had always hated it doing something at the tea shop and while not being finished already getting another exercise! But a prince didn't care about the exercises of servants, so I simply chose to be nice to him and be done with it.
My room was exactly next to Azula's room, like the servant told me. On the other side of the floor was Ty Lee's and Mai's room.
I frowned, wondering why Azula didn't sleep in one room with Mai and Ty Lee. They had done that like a hundred times at the palace, after all. And walking into my room in the middle of the night to urge me to sneak around with them, play with them and later just annoying and tormenting me. My frown deepened and the servant trembled even more, clearly thinking that I was somehow not pleased with him.
"Thank you," I told him, trying to look nice. "That would be all. You may go back to your other duties."
His eyes grew wide and I wondered if I had said something wrong to frighten him more, when he bowed so low that his body was probably forming less than a right angle. "Thank you, Your Highness! This is most generous of Your Highness! Good evening, Your Highness!" His voice seemed to crack multiple times, as if he already wanted to say the next word, while still saying the last word.
Before he got back up I turned towards the door, pushing it open.
I heard a gasp behind me and turned around, already tensing in expectance of a fight, but it was only the servant staring at me.
"Oh no. Please forgive me, Your Highness!" He hurriedly put the tray on the floor and walked closer, his eyes on the ground. "I'll open the door for you, of course!" He stepped past me, which confused me a bit, and opened the door. Wow, I had totally forgotten about palace life.
"Thank you," I said. "That wouldn't have been necessary."
"Is there anything else you need me for?" he asked, looking eager.
I frowned, remembering that I'd found the eager servants always confusing. But maybe he just didn't want to go wherever he needed to go. Probably the kitchens.
"No, that is all, thank you," I said, smiling and walked into my new room, closing the doors behind me.
I quickly put my stuff on the bed, opening the bag and searching for my black tight clothes. Once I had them I wanted to change, but a knock on my door forced me to put them back in the bag. I quickly closed it and turned around, wanting to say "Come in!", when the door already opened.
I was ready to yell at whoever dared to open the door without waiting for permission, when I saw it was Azula.
She had her hands on her hips, walking closer, smirking. "I hope the room is to your liking. It's the royal wing of the palace, you must know. It clearly outstands home in extravagancy, but I think the Fire Nation palace has more style."
I looked around, having not even noticed this, but she was right. Nearly everything in here was made of gold or marble, jewels glinting at the lights and the bedposts. I tried not to grimace, since this was clearly too much.
"I agree," I said.
"I came to get you for dinner," she said, turning around, wanting me to follow her.
But I stood still. "Azula!"
She looked at me, frowning, when she noticed I hadn't moved. "What?"
"I won't come."
"Why not? You must be hungry."
"Actually I'm kind of feeling sick," I said and decided to tell her the truth. But not all of it. "I know I did the right thing in helping you and somehow I know that Uncle had betrayed me, but I spent the last three years with him, and it is… hard. I'm not in the mood for small talk at dinner."
Azula rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Fine, if you want to cry over being left by Uncle, I won't stop you." Still with her back to me her voice changed into ice. "But remember that you will have your rightful place restored soon. Remember that I gave you this opportunity. I did for you what Uncle never could, while you were chasing this Avatar. Did Uncle ever help with catching him? I don't think so. I'll expect some gratitude soon from you, Zuko."
My inside might have turned to ice, while part of me couldn't help but admiring Azula's ability to speak so calmly and sound so frightening at the same time.
"Of course I won't forget this," I said, feeling real gratitude towards her. "I know you didn't have to do this, but I hope you also know what going home means to me. I would never endanger it."
My sister's posture relaxed slightly and she sighed, running her finger through the strands which were surrounding her face one after the other. "Very well. Get some sleep. This was an exciting day for you, brother."
"Good night!" I quickly said and nearly missed the slight trip in her walk.
She cleared her throat, opening the door. "Night, Zuzu." Then she was gone, and I felt confused and relieved at the same time. This "Zuzu" hadn't sounded mean. It had sounded like a normal nickname, just when she had stubbornly kept calling me that after everyone had told her that the second syllable of my name was "ko" and not "zu", and she could have actually pronounced it, but I had still been Zuzu to her.
At first, I had liked it and hadn't done anything against it, but after Azula started getting better than me at firebending, father had said at a meal that a real man wouldn't let his sister call him such ridiculous names and that I probably had no pride at all. I had felt confused, because I hadn't been a man yet and because it made Azula happy to be allowed to call me "Zuzu". Why should I make her unhappy by forbidding her to call me that?
I washed these memories away, concentrating on my task. I walked around the room, closing every curtain and put my black clothes on. I tore a green cloth apart and draped it over my mouth and nose, tugging it into my hood. With my broadswords I turned off every light and locked the door. Then I walked into the bathroom and opened the window. It would be safer to leave from here.
I had never before broken out of somewhere, only broken in, but it was mostly the same thing. I grinned to myself when I noticed a carriage leaving the palace grounds and as quietly and fast as I could I jumped on the load floor, hiding behind boxes.
Due to Azula's conquest of the city there weren't any trains riding, but I made it through the tunnel on foot and without being spotted.
Before I reached Kilara's street, I pulled the cloth on my face away, putting it into a pocket and pushed the hood back down.
I approached Kilara's house cautiously and found a tree in the front garden whose roots were big enough to hide things underneath. I put my swords and the cloth there, taking off the black shirt, and straightening the light green tunic I was wearing underneath.
I hesitated, feeling an irrational fear that Kilara somehow already knew about the conquest and wouldn't want to see me, but I walked to the door nonetheless. Running a hand through my hair, which I hoped didn't look too messy, I took a deep breath, almost meditating, before I knocked at the door.
I waited a few seconds, then the door opened and I inhaled, expecting to see Kilara in front of me, but I didn't. What I saw kind of seemed similar to Kilara, but it was a boy. Was that her brother?
His eyes had a green greyish colour and his hair was slightly darker than Kilara's, but still light, and he wore a knee long green robe with brown pants. Kilara had worn nearly the exact same clothes yesterday.
The boy's eyes widened and a grin spread on his lips.
This was not the reaction which I had expected.
"Lee! Wow, you actually came!"
I blinked, but fortunately the letter came back to my mind. "Yeah, I got Kilara's letter. Is she there?"
"Oh yeah, but she's probably still sleeping. She went to bed two hours ago, seemed pretty stressed to me. You sure you want to put up with a stressed Kira?" he raised an eyebrow.
He didn't seem intimidating at all, but he was so different from any other boys my age I had ever met.
Did je just skip one syllable of Kilara's name or had I imagined things, because he was talking so fast?
"Uh…" I rubbed my back. "Yes? I mean, I can handle it. That'll clearly be nothing compared to my sister."
Kilara's brother grinned. "Oh yeah, the hardships of being an elder brother. Glad you understand that." He stepped aside, letting me in and I took my time to look around. Just like from the outside this place held special warmth, due to sandy colours and dark wood with a lot of light from candles and oil lamps.
"What's your name?" I asked, following the boy down a hall.
He looked at me, pouting. "Nanuk!" he said with emphasis. "Didn't Kilara mention me?"
"She did!" I quickly said. "She just didn't say your name. So, then you're older than her?" I wanted to know, because if he was, that had to mean that he must be my age. Nanuk was shorter than me, and I was already rather short for my age and it would be nice to meet another short sixteen-year-old boy, who was even shorter than me.
"No, we're twins," Nanuk told me.
My eyes grew wide, as I thought about the old Fire Nation beliefs about twins and the special power that the elemental spirits would grant them. Bending twins had very powerful, incredible powers and the nonbenders always had a strong soul, were intelligent and compassionate. Twin soldiers, leaders or healers in the Fire Nation were really popular. Everyone wanted them.
"Oh," I said.
"You have a bad scar there." Nanuk pointed at my face. "How'd you get that?"
My face contorted in mortification at his manners. One didn't ask a man where he got a scar from!
"War," I answered, keeping my voice at level.
"Aahhh." Nanuk opened a door to a cosy room with a table and few cushions. Bowls and plates were standing in the middle of the table, steam rising from them.
"Erm…" I started.
"Sit down!" Nanuk urged me. "Dinner's ready and I actually just wanted to get Kira when I heard you knock."
A servant held a pot of tea in her hands and put it on the table.
"Hey San!" Nanuk addressed her. "Could you please tell Kira that dinner's ready and that she should come?"
San bowed, one hand over her other fist. "Of course, Nanuk."
"Thanks, San!" Nanuk said a bit too loud, still grinning widely. His expression changed when he turned towards me, leading me to a seat and sat down next to me. He was leaning on one arm, which was behind my back.
I sat as straight as I could, trying not to snap because of his forward behaviour.
"Sooo, Lee," he emphasised the name as if he knew it wasn't my real one. Maybe he knew who I really was. Had Kilara told him?
"What?" I asked, noticing that I hadn't heard his question.
"What have you two talked about yesterday?" he repeated, raising one eyebrow and twisting his mouth.
I blinked. "Uh… favourite colours?"
"Uh, yeah, right," he nodded, turning away. The next second he was again staring at me, this time narrowing his eyes as tight as possible. "And what were you doing?"
I frowned. "Talking," I replied in a dry voice. What else, when we were talking about favourite colours?
"Hm, people can do a lot of stuff, while talking about favourite colours. Were you sitting somewhere? On a bench? In a park?"
This guy totally got on my nerves and I had to control my inner flame with deep breaths. "We were walking!"
"Alright, alright." Nanuk held his hands up, sighing. "Don't be so rude!"
"I wasn't rude!"
"I invited you for dinner, you know, you could just be a bit nice."
"I wasn't rude!" I barked. Okay, now I sounded rude.
The door slid open and Kilara appeared, looking as if she had just come out of bed. She yawned, scratching her head and looked at us through slits. When her gaze met me her eyes widened and she quickly straightened her hair.
"What are you doing here?" she shrieked, nearly sounding scared.
I swallowed and felt as if I would be getting sick. Great, she already knew about the conquest. But how?
Nanuk eyed me suspiciously and I quickly cleared my throat. "Y-you wrote I c-could come over," I stuttered. Not even being a prince again made me stop embarrassing myself!
She pulled at one of her braids and I noticed that her hair was down. It was the first time I saw it like this, the soft waves which fell down her shoulders and onto her breasts. I quickly lifted my gaze, but still admiring the light and reddish colour her hair had in this light.
"Oh… yes, I wrote that. Um, I… will be…" She pointed over her shoulder. "I forgot to… ah, write down something. For school. I'll be right back!"
I worried if she would get ready for a fight or if she just didn't want to see me.
Nanuk started to chuckle slightly, then he burst out into laughter.
Frowning I turned around, looking at him. "Why are you laughing?"
He wiped some tears from his cheeks, patting his red skin. "Kira… she, just… oh, this was priceless."
"I don't know what you mean," I said.
His eyebrows shot up. "Are you blind? She totally didn't expect you here, that's why she looked like that and then seeing you she totally flipped! Seeing her embarrassed just makes my day!" he chuckled and sighed.
"Why?" I asked. "Don't you like her?"
He grimaced in a confused way, telling me I was an idiot. "Of course I like her! She's my sister. But nothing embarrasses her quickly. She's almost always very composed, no matter how much I'm teasing and pricking and annoying her."
And she wanted me to tease her? When her brother couldn't even get a reaction out of her?
Kilara walked again through the door, which she had let open and closed it. "So, I'm done. Nanuk, leave my spot!"
Nanuk rolled his eyes and sat down on the other side of the table, grinning at me, as Kilara sat down next to me. This was close. I tensed first, still not knowing what to expect and what was I even doing here? If I wasn't sure if I would be treated like a friend or enemy, then why had I come here?
Kilara smelled like this flowery herbs again, or herbal flowers, I just couldn't place it. I knew it was tea!
Frowning, I shoved the thought away.
Cautiously I looked at Kilara, wanting to know where I was at. "If I shouldn't have come here I could leave," I proposed, hoping really, really much that I wouldn't need to leave.
Kilara turned around, staring at me with wide eyes. "No!" she quickly said, then blushed and looked down at her lap. "I mean, I wrote to you that you could come and I wouldn't have done that if I wouldn't have wanted you to come," she added.
Inwardly I sighed deeply, knowing that she didn't know about Ba Sing Se's current state.
Nanuk caught my eye, because he was chuckling again.
"What?" Kilara snarled, leaning in his direction and tensing.
"Nothing," Nanuk quickly said, trying to look innocent, as Kilara tried to freeze him with her glare.
Great. Now what? I had wanted to talk to Kilara alone, but now her brother had invited me for dinner and her father would probably show up any minute.
"So, Lee, are you going to tell me how you two met?" Nanuk asked nonchalantly, as if it didn't even interest him. Then why was he asking?
"I…"
Kilara shook her head, suddenly putting a hand on my lower arm, which was on my lap and under the table. Her brother did not see the gesture, but it immediately warmed my whole body.
"No," I answered, looking at the food in front of me and noticing that I actually was really hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and the riceballs, the fish wrapped in sea weed and the steamed vegetables smelled so good. This was good cuisine.
Nanuk frowned, but didn't get the opportunity to say anything. "Stop it, Nanuk!" Kilara barked at him.
He rolled his eyes, giving me a pointed look. "She's not only stressed, but also still tired," he said quietly, as if only I could hear him.
Kilara tensed and I thought she would just jump and snap at him (that's what I would have done), but she narrowed her eyes at her brother and smirked. "Add super hungry and totally having my period to the list. I've got cramps it feels as if I…"
Nanuk placed his hands over his ears. "Na la la la la! I can't hear you, I can't hear you!" he sang and pressed his eyes shut and shook his head.
Kilara had already stopped talking and helped herself to some riceballs. "It works every time," she said smugly and looked at me.
I must have looked a bit confused or just taken aback, because she rolled her eyes and quickly changed the topic.
"You can start eating! Come on!" she urged me.
"Aren't we waiting for your father?" I asked in bewilderment. They just started eating!
Nanuk was done with childish behaviour and had started helping himself to some food, too. He answered in Kilara's place. "Our dad is still working in his study. He's usually missing the meals, but San always brings him something. He's not eating everything, but in the morning his bowl is usually empty."
I frowned, finding it very strange that these two children were just left to themselves for meals.
"And except mealtimes? Is he leaving his study at other times?" I asked, reaching for the fish.
Kilara shook her head. "Not really. Maybe for using the bathroom, and of course, for going to the university or the library. His studies are immensely important to him," she explained, sounding calm, but Nanuk stared darkly at his plate, as if not being acknowledged by his father affected him more than Kilara.
I could totally understand him.
"Are you feeling better, Kira?" Nanuk suddenly asked, a worried frown on his face.
I turned quickly to the side to look at Kilara, wondering if she was sick, had a headache or a cold, etc.
"A little bit," she murmured, twisting her brows while staring at her chopsticks.
"Are you okay?" I dared to ask.
She looked up almost immediately and smiled at me. "Yes, it's nothing serious. I was just feeling a little weird."
Nanuk snorted and she shot him a glare.
I got the feeling that I was missing something. "What happened?"
"Kira felt weird and agitated and antsy, which she is always doing before something bad happens," Nanuk explained, but staring at his sister.
"Yes. I did feel weird, agitated and antsy, but Nanuk loves to interpret too much into simple stress symptoms!" she replied calmly and Nanuk scowled.
"I warned you!" he said, pointing his chopsticks at her. "I know a catastrophe will come. It happened all the other times, too, so…"
"Nanuk, enough of this! What could possibly happen? We're in Ba Sing Se, the safest city in the world!" Kilara exclaimed, her voice louder than before.
Maybe the feeling didn't leave her cold, but she didn't want to think about what it meant, either.
I didn't think of her or Nanuk as strange, since I had learned my lesson when Uncle had felt a storm approaching and I hadn't listened. I shoved the memory quickly away, not wanting to think too much about Uncle.
But… there was a catastrophe. The king had fled and Ba Sing Se was under the control of the Fire Nation. They just didn't know it yet. I was partly wondering if this was the catastrophe Kilara was sensing (yes, this sounded weird, even in my head), but I also wanted to reassure her and pulled my arm back, grasping her hand.
"I'm sure you don't have to fear anything," I said, since everything else would have been a lie. Smiling had never been so difficult.
But she returned it openly, relieved and I felt my inside getting all warm and wobbly.
Nanuk sighed, causing Kilara to look back at him. "I really hope so."
Kilara sighed. "Let's not talk about this anymore."
I began to think it had been wrong to come here. I felt so guilty all the time, every time I looked Kilara in the eye, every time she smiled at me, as if I hadn't destroyed her life.
But my feelings didn't have a lot of time to make me feel like a jerk, all due to Nanuk.
"Alright. I think we should talk about you, Lee," he said, but not sounding threatening or intimidating at all. Probably because he still chewed on his fish while saying that.
"No, we won't," Kilara answered, but I shook my head.
"Yes, we will," Nanuk shot back.
"No, we won't!"
"Yes, we will!"
"Uh…," I said, looking from one twin to the other. "I don't mind."
What? What? Why had I said that? Stupid, stupid, stupid! What if he started asking really bad questions? For example, 'Where do you come from?'. Or 'Are you a bender?'
Nanuk beamed at me and clapped his hands. "Great! You know, I know Kilara can take care of herself, but as the only available male member of the family it is my duty to interrogate you."
Frowning I leaned back and Kilara smacked her forehead with her hand.
"Nanuk! You are totally embarrassing yourself," she said in an annoyed matter-of-fact-voice. "I didn't check on your friends' backgrounds, too."
"My friends are boys! What if I had a female friend? You would check her background, wouldn't you?" he asked, crossing his arms and lifting an eyebrow, smirking.
Kilara made a show of thinking hard and sighed. "Yeah, okay, I would do that. But only to check her mental health, because she would befriend someone like you," she said smugly.
Nanuk scowled at her, saying "Ha ha. Wasn't that funny?", and looked then at me.
I waited for a question, but he simply seemed to study my appearance. What? My tunic was a little tight, but only because it had needed to fit under the black shirt. Was my hair maybe still ruffled from the hood?
I tried to ignore him, because my stomach demanded it, so I kept eating, but after a while it really got annoying.
"You should really stop that, Nanuk," Kilara said, before eating another bite of fish.
"Shh," he shushed her.
Nanuk didn't touch his food, while Kilara and I were eating.
When I was almost done I couldn't stand it anymore. I lifted my head, looking at the male version of Kilara with narrowed eyes. "What?!" I barked.
He leaned back, twisting his mouth. "Okay, I think I know now enough about you."
I blinked, feeling totally taken aback. "What?"
"You don't like leek, you shoved it aside. Even though you're working in a tea shop, you don't like tea. You haven't touched it. You try to…"
His tea suddenly splashed into his face and he gasped. "Kira!"
"What?" she asked, faking innocence.
I tried really hard not to laugh, but I was really bad at hiding any feelings, so a few chuckles escaped my lips.
"Just wait until she does that to you," Nanuk murmured, drying his face with his napkin.
"That wouldn't bother me a lot," I said, smirking, because I could just dry myself with my bending.
"Yes, I think so, too," Kilara said, also smirking.
Nanuk groaned, sounding disgusted and started rubbing his temples, as if he was getting a headache.
Kilara and I quietly continued eating.
"But, Lee… you do have hobbies, don't you?"
I blinked at him, thinking about what I liked to do in my free time. Running at night over rooftops to have some exercise didn't really count, did it? "Uh… No. I don't really have any free time," I said, grimacing. "But I like physical exercise. Training, fighting."
Nanuk raised one eyebrow. "Okay, I didn't expect that from a tea server."
I smiled nervously. What did tea servers like?
"Jobs don't define a person, Nanuk," Kira saved me, frowning.
"They do in our family," he replied. "How could I know that not everyone is defined by their job?"
Kira shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Did you ever bother to know uncle Aiguo's servants? They all have the same job, but are interested in totally different things."
Nanuk touched his chin with his index finger and his thumb. "Ha, you're right. Okay, what is the most opposite of a tea server in a tea shop with pai sho boards? You said you like fighting, I already noticed you have a bad temper, you probably never plan ahead and are pretty rash. Hm, you hate peace and hot drinks and listening to people?" he asked, beaming.
He was right in some points. And this was totally unnerving.
Kilara was, at least, more subtle in trying to analyse me.
"I don't hate peace," I stated. "And I even listened to you right now and if it's cold I also don't mind a hot drink."
"So I was right with anything else?" he asked, grinning. "But I think I'm going to add something to the list. You're arrogant."
"I'm not!"
"You are," Kilara said calmly.
"No, I'm not!" I snapped at her.
"You are not an arrogant person, you just can be arrogant," she explained further. "I actually kind of expected that fr…" She stopped in her motion, wanting to eat the last bite from her plate. She cleared her throat, laughing weakly.
That got Nanuk's interest, because he leaned in her direction, shortly glancing at me. "Why did you expect that?"
I knew it had almost been a slip up. Had she really expected me to be arrogant, just because I was a prince? And even if I behaved arrogantly sometimes, then only in situations which justified it!
Kilara blinked and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Just look at him."
I kind of felt insulted. "What?"
Her weak laugh returned. "Yeah, I mean, who wouldn't be arrogant sometimes if they looked like you?"
I still didn't get it. Why should I behave arrogantly because of black hair and a scar? Nothing about this allowed me to behave arrogantly. Besides, the majority of the people on this planet had black hair!
"Huh…", Nanuk said. "I really didn't see it at first."
"What?" I snapped again.
Nanuk suddenly burst out into laughter and when I looked at Kilara she had flushed a deep crimson red.
I tensed, staring angrily from one twin to the other. What was all this about?
"I don't think it's because of his appearance that he's behaving arrogantly," Nanuk explained, "because he doesn't even seem to know about his appearance," he added cryptically.
This was so getting on my nerves.
"Will someone tell me what you are talking about?" I demanded, banging one fist against the table.
Nanuk held his hands up, while Kilara was sipping from her tea, not looking in my direction.
She was behaving differently today and I wondered if I had done something to offend her.
"Geez, relax. We're just talking about your good looks," Nanuk explained, rolling his eyes.
I frowned. "You… uh…" Heat rushed through my cheeks. "Oh."
Kilara stood up, pulling me up by my hand. "You're finished, aren't you?" she asked me, shooting her brother a glare. "Great, so let's go."
"Leave the door open," Nanuk ordered.
I nearly fell over my own feet, as she pulled more strongly. "Definitely not."
Outside the dining room she let go of her death grip around my hand and closed the door, resumed her death grip and started pulling again.
"Where are we going?" I asked, hurrying to keep up with her. Who knew that someone with short legs could walk so fast?
"My room," was her curt reply.
I felt my blood leaving my face and my eyes widened. Her room? The only girl's room I've ever been in was Azula's room at the palace! I panicked and the little Zuko in my head kept screaming and shouting out his panic, when she opened a door, pulled me inside and closed it.
I stood as stiffly as possible, while glancing around. I knew her room wouldn't be like Azula's room, all dark and red and tidy, but I didn't know what to expect of a girl's room.
It was actually not that different from my room in the apartment. There was a huge window, a bed, a wardrobe and a desk. The room's walls were painted in a light turquoise and the furniture had a hazel colour. Her bed was neatly made, in contrast to her desk, which was overloaded with dozens of books and scrolls. Some really ancient ones, but I could also make out the scroll she probably used to take notes.
The only thing girly in the room was the drawer, because a mirror stood on top of it. Next to the mirror lied a brush, several hair clips and a comb with a watery pattern engraved.
The wooden floor was blank, no carpet lying anywhere. The walls were also blank, no pictures or decorations.
After I relaxed a bit, I noticed that I was finally alone with Kilara, and that there was no annoying twin brother annoying us anymore.
But after tonight there would be far more standing between Kilara and me than her brother.
I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat as I imagined again how Kilara would hate me. I didn't want to lose my first real friend. I didn't want to lose her.
Kilara walked further into the room, but I quickly caught her wrist and pulled her towards me, laying my arms around her and pulled her close to my chest.
She tensed a bit, but relaxed, before I could let go. She hugged me around my waist and leaned her head on my chest.
I bit down on my lower lip as I felt her hair tingle my skin and sighed inwardly. Why did it feel so good to hold her? Her scent and warmth were calming and soothing, pushing all worries and fears away. Even if it were just for seconds.
After a while she lifted her head, frowning at me in confusion. "Are you okay?" she asked.
I really wasn't. Not at all.
I tried to smile and nodded. "Yes, of course. I just… need to hold you," I said, my voice suddenly slightly husky.
She blinked, still looking confused and not at all convinced by my lie, but she leaned back in, squeezing me around my waist tightly and snuggled closer.
I relished her closeness, wanting to remember this forever. Kilara was special and I was glad and thankful I had met her.
But now was time to say goodbye.
I hope you liked it, although I kind of skipped Zuko's crossroads of destiny moment. It honestly scared me too much to write about his thoughts and feelings in this situation, because it seems like a really big challenge and I already found the "I'm going to free the Avatar's bison instead of using it to capture the Avatar" scene to be a really big challenge, but Zuko making the worst decision in his life? That feels like too much. Besides, I hate this moment in the series more than anything else, because it is the only time when the audience can think "Zuko is such a bastard!" and be right. Every time I'm watching it I'm still like "Don't do it! Don't do it!", although I know he's going to do it, and after he had done it I always feel the desire to strangle him and yell at the TV/my computer.
But I'm thinking about trying to write his inner monologue in this situation and maybe post it as a one-shot...
Let me know what you think! :)