Chapter 10

It was dark except for the glow from the movie Bella was watching. It had been two days since she had come to stay at Jake's apartment. Although, she had barely seen him.

He had to work and she had class. Jake had insisted either Leah or Embry needed to escort her.

"Jake, this is ridiculous!" Bella exclaimed. "I don't need a babysitter. In fact—"

She paused. She was pretty sure this was an argument she was going to lose regardless, but she couldn't help the words from coming out of her mouth.

"In fact, why can't Leah and I stay at my apartment? She can pro—"

Jake growled.

The four of them were standing in Jake's tiny cramped living room. Jake's growl cut off all conversation, engulfing them in a tension filled silence.

Jake's eyes locked on hers. He strode purposefully across the room until he was standing in front of her. He took her face in his hands. His skin was scorching hot against hers.

"Bella, please," he begged, his voice horse. "Don't ask me to trust someone else with protecting you."

He leaned forward until their noses were touching. "Not again."

That's where her mind was when Jake walked in the door. It was late, way past closing for the garage he worked at. Leah was asleep on the over-sized chair next to her, Embry was in Jake's room. Bella had a feeling he had been avoiding her.

Jake disappeared into the kitchen. When he came back out, he had a beer in his hand.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," she responded. Bella cringed. Everything was so awkward between them. Hadn't he asked her to be friends again?

Jake hesitated briefly before he sat next to her, an uneasy smile on his full lips.

"God, why is it like this?" Bella lamented. Jacob didn't ask her to clarify. The awkward tension between them was so palpable he could practically see it in the air between them.

He chuckled, blew out a breath and then Jake slipped his hand into hers. Their fingers twined together and he brought their joined hands to his lips. He placed a light kiss on her knuckles and then brought their hands back down to rest on his knee.

"I was just trying to give you some time, I—"

He cut himself off and sighed as he toyed with her fingers. Jake wasn't sure he trusted himself to speak. It was impossible to go back to the easy friendship they'd once had. Impossible to forget that he loved her. He still felt like that sixteen year old kid, terrified to tell her how he felt, more scared that he was going to lose her all over again, and still unable to not touch her when he was near her. Three years he hadn't been able to hold her hand, to kiss her again. Three years he had tormented himself with thoughts of her. Three years he had held onto his love for her. He wasn't sure how to navigate this now.

He looked over at her then and sighed. "I still love you, Bells."

Bella bit her lip, but didn't look away. They were both leaning back against the couch, and Jake lowered his head until their noses were almost touching.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" Bella asked in a whisper. Her big brown eyes stayed locked on his.

His dark eyes dropped to her lips. Bella's heart sped up.

I still love him, too, she thought. But—

It was stupid really. The tiniest detail. But it stuck out like a flaming red neon sign in her mind. That first night she'd seen Jake. His dark bedroom. The realization that he'd been so close. All this time, living here. And the ripped open condom wrapper on his dresser.

And then that feeling that they could just start all over evaporated.

Bella pulled her hand away like she'd been burned. Frowning, he asked, "What's wrong? I can't hold your hand?"

The question jolted her. It was too familiar and made her throat burn with tears.

She didn't know how to explain the hurt she felt. Bella looked away.

Anger and frustration exploded in Jake's gut. He cupped her face in his hands and turned her back to face him. He lowered his face until their lips were mere centimeters apart.

"Bella, I have always loved you. I have been torturing myself for three fucking years. Hell, longer. Every time I'm in the same room with you, all I want to do is kiss you, hold you, never let you go again. But I fucked everything up and now I don't know how to fix it."

Bella's eyes filled with tears and a few slipped out, running down her flushed cheeks.

Jake's voice lowered. "The worst part is, I never really had you. I only ever got to kiss you one time."

Before Bella could respond, Jake lowered his mouth to hers. His lips brushed softly over hers. Once, twice. Just as he pressed more firmly, Bella jerked back.

"If you loved me so much, if you were so tortured over me, how could you sleep with someone else?" Bella asked, anger and hurt laced her words.

Jake paled. "Bella, I was out of my mind with pain, I just wanted to forget."

"How many?"

He scrunched his brows, obviously pained by this conversation. "What?"

"How many girls were you with?" she sneered, but continued before he could open his mouth to speak. "I couldn't move on because I felt like I was being disloyal to you even though I believed you were dead! How many times did you go from following me to falling into another girl's arms?"

Bella was full out crying, but she forced herself to stay and watched as a range of emotions flittered across his face. His jaw clenched and she knew he wasn't going to answer her.

Angry, he leaned forward again. "Bella, you broke my heart, you chose Edward over me—more than once. And then I was forced to watch as you started to fall for that—"

He growled low in his throat. "No one has ever mattered to me, but you. I've tried everything to put you out of my mind. Women, alcohol, fighting, hunting, killing, becoming the wolf—and nothing has ever worked. I stupidly believed your fucking vampire and thought I was protecting you. Forgive me for trying to figure out how to live without you!"

He was breathing hard and fast, his nostrils flared and his dark eyes were swallowed up by his black dilated pupils.

Bella hiccupped through her tears and whispered softly, "I broke up with Edward for you."

All his anger deflated. Jake reached for her, his large warm hands cupped her face and his thumbs brushed away her tears.

"Then be with me now," he pleaded.

She swallowed hard. "It's not that simple."

Jake pressed his lips together and shook his head. "It never is."

Bella closed her eyes for a moment against the pain. When she opened them again he was gone.

~000~

His voice was low and husky, sending shivers down her spine. Goosebumps erupted along her flesh. His hand—so warm—cupped her face, the tips of his fingers tangled in her hair. He leaned forward, and she swore time slowed as the rest of the world faded to black.

He murmured something soft and tender in his native tongue, his breath warmed her lips. Just as she felt his mouth on hers, the shrill ringing of the phone shattered the moment.

Bella gasped as she woke up. She wished that had been an actual dream, not an ugly past reality replaying while she slept. She blinked back some tears and swallowed against the lump in her throat as she threw the blanket off her.

The conversation with Jake last night came crashing into her with all the force of a freight train causing her to fall back against the couch cushions and clutch her chest. She was honestly surprised there wasn't a large gaping hole in her chest. How was it possible that everything was even more fucked between them than ever before?

A moment later, Embry walked through the front door. The look on his face told Bella everything she needed to know. He'd heard the conversation last night.

"Where is he?" Bella couldn't stop herself from asking, her voice scratchy with tears.

Embry flinched. Bella sat up.

"What, Em? Tell me where he is!"

"Bells—"

"Don't call me that!"

Embry flinched at the sound of her distress and cautiously sat on the couch next to her. "He just needs some time to cool off."

Bella growled, "With another girl?!"

Embry sighed.

Bella leapt from the couch. "So help me Embry, after what he said to me if he's fucking someone I'm going to—"

Embry stood and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Jesus Christ, Bella. Calm down, he's not with anyone else. He's either still all wolfed out or he's at the shop tearing apart an engine."

Bella fell back against the couch cushions, scrubbing her hands over her face.

"Everything is so messed up," she sighed.

Embry crossed the room and kneeled in front of her, pulling her hands from her face. His face was pulled in a tight smile, sadness and regret in his brown eyes.

"Bella, everything's going to be okay," he said softly. "Don't you have a final today?"

Bella nodded.

"Well, get ready. I'll take you to class." Embry urged her up from the couch and pushed her toward the bathroom. Thirty minutes later he was dropping her off.

"You want me to wait?" He asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, I'll text you when I'm done."

Bella exited the car and made her way to the one of the older red brick buildings on campus. Before she could get to the front door, a band of steel wrapped around her waist and an ice cold hand clamped over her mouth. Fear and panic swarmed inside her as she was pulled into the shadows and pushed up against the side of the building. Her eyes went wide at the sight of her attacker.

"Don't scream, alright?" A male voice pleaded. Bella didn't move, but her eyes lit up with righteous indignation as her temper flared. "Bella, please, I'm not going to hurt you."

She huffed. Not hurt her? She could feel her skin bruising from his tight grip. As if he could read her mind—which she knew he couldn't—he released her and stepped away. Not enough for her to get away, just enough that he wasn't pressing her into the wall.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. The moment he did, though, he groaned and backed away from her, panic etched on his pale face. His eyes were black when he looked into hers.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Edward!" Bella screeched. He winced at her language.

"Bella, love, please—"

"Don't you dare call me that!"

He held up his hands in surrender. "Please, Bella, I just need to talk to you."

Her heart clenched in her chest. Despite the absence, the lies, the deceit, even the hurt and the knowledge that she loved Jacob more, he still had the power to make her feel pity.

She sighed as she crossed her arms across her chest.

Edward stared at her for several beats before he could find the words to speak. For a moment, this scene was all too familiar. She watched Edward closely. Three and a half years ago, she'd so easily believed everything he said. But now she could see the same body language she saw that day in the woods. She tensed, waited for the pain. It didn't come, but she was sure his next words would be a lie.

"Bella, you're in danger. You need to stay away from him."

She frowned and fought the urge to scream at him. Through gritted teeth she said, "No."

He sighed, like she was a small child who didn't understand. She bristled.

"Love—"

"I said not to call me that. You lost that right."

Edward winced. "You're right. I'm sorry."

A few tense seconds ticked by. Finally Edward moved closer to her, his voice laced with desperation. "But everything I've ever done was to protect you."

Bella snorted. "Edward, you made me believe Jacob was dead, how was that protecting me?"

He hesitated. There was something he wasn't telling her.

A sad crooked smile tilted his lips. "I'm sure I was supposed to feel relief if I ever made you hate me and chose a human life, but—"

"Edward," she said sharply. His pained look caused her to soften though and she added, "Please, don't. I don't want to talk about that."

He nodded.

"Tell me why you're here, Edward, before I get really pissed."

He grimaced and then said, "I told you, Bella. You're in danger. And you need to stay away from Jacob."

Fire lit her chocolate eyes until they turned into smoldering black ash.

"Jake would never hurt me." She swore they'd had this same conversation when they were still together.

Edward shook his head violently and stepped closer to her. "That's not what I'm talking about." His whole expression shifted into something murderous. "That monster won't stop until you're his."

A shiver skittered along her spine. "What are you talking about? Who?"

"Aro."

Her lungs stopped working, the whole world fell away. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think about anything except that vampire's red iris, the leer in his eyes like a hungry lion, the screams from innocent humans echoing in the ancient space. She swallowed hard and tried to fight back the images.

Edward rushed on, finally having captured her attention. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Bella, are you listening to me. He's coming. And if you stay with Jake, he'd going to die."

She stubbornly shook her head. "No, Jake will protect me. We'll go home, he—"

"Bella!" Edward shook her with jarring force, his hands dug into her skin. "Why can't you ever listen? Jake can't protect you. Not from this. Aaron—"

Her eyes widened into saucers. "Aaron? What—"

"He was meant to protect you," Edward said through gritted teeth. "I should have known he'd fall in love with you too."

Bella jerked back like he'd slapped her and hot angry tears spilled from her eyes. She tried desperately to wrench herself free, but Edward's grip was like steel bands. "Let me go."

He didn't budge.

"What was your plan Edward? To manipulate me into coming to Florida? Why?"

There was long tense moment of silence between them before Edward finally let go of her arms. He leaned into her and spoke with a fierce edge to his words. "Bella I have always loved you. I will always love you. I am flawed, I can admit that. But everything I've ever done was to protect you," he paused and then his voice was soft, ominous. "I know you wouldn't survive with someone's blood on your hands. If you knew you could have saved them."

And then he was gone. Bella fell back against the brick wall. She wasn't sure what to feel or think. She was in danger, that much Edward and Jacob had always agreed on. She didn't trust Edward. He was just using her need to protect Jacob. But why? Despite the rivalry between them, she had once believed Edward at least trusted Jacob with her safety. This didn't add up. There was something else. Some other piece to the puzzle.

And she was going to figure it out.