A/N: I'm mega-sorry for the months-long delay. I've been so busy with my last year at Secondary school, but I'm trying to make time for this ficcy.

TheJokerMelissa -- *blushes* Thank you :D I can't describe how elated I felt when I read your review :) I do like the beans bit from CoE, though, lol XD. I wish I could be a Torchwood writer… the first thing I'd do would be to revive Ianto :D

I love all you reviewers, you are the awesomest! Honestly, I could go on thanking you and everything for ages but I simply don't have the words to express myself!

It's you people who got me back to finishing this.

Heh, well, I hope you all forgive me for the absence of updates.

Nevertheless, here we go!

Batman and Robin

"Although in this case…" Agent Johnson smirked victoriously; "you'll forgive me if I don't mourn."

Jack stiffened, barely able to suppress himself and the momentous rage that threatened to possess his very thoughts and actions. He gritted his teeth as he snapped out his words harshly; "I could say the same about you." His grip on Ianto tightened protectively. "Except next time I'll aim better."

Johnson shot him a scathing look. "Don't berate yourself too much, Harkness." She indicated her bandage-clad side, the bonds tightly squeezing into her flesh and holding the blood at bay. "A little higher and I may have found cause to imprison you in concrete again."

"A little higher," Jack sneered; "and the only imprisonment you'd find cause for was your own coffin."

Johnson tactfully ignored this last comment, turning her attention to Ianto, whose gaze was consequently fixed upon the gun at Johnson's un-injured side. She let her thoughts linger on him for a moment, before addressing Alice.

"It seems like your mother may not be the only one to 'die' out of the bounds of Torchwood."

"He's not what you think."

Ianto's mind settled back on Jack at his hasty words. "What do you mean?" He asked, before Johnson could.

"You're not entirely… immortal."

Ianto frowned, confused. Jack drew him closer, his voice lowering to his level.

"When I found you… touched you, a moment ago… you were…. you were so cold… I thought I'd lost you again…" Jack's voice caught in his throat, and Ianto struggled to respond to this, his mind absently catching onto the meaning behind Jack's words.

"But whenever you…" Ianto gulped. "You feel as if you're just sleeping. Except for that one time…" He took in a sharp breath. "Are you saying I'm a fluke? Just a mistake? Like – like Owen?"

"No," Jack insisted. "I'm saying that for a bullet wound, you shouldn't have been cold. I don't think," he continued, as Ianto looked as if to interrupt; "I don't think that you are immortal. Semi-immortal, perhaps." He drew Ianto into an unresisting hug. "The Doctor said that I was a fixed point, that I shouldn't be. But you… you're… different, Ianto." Jack pulled back a little. "Ianto, I promise you, that as long as you live, I will never leave you. If that's… if that's what you want."

Ianto's breath caught. "I never want to be without you…" Streaks of tears fell freely down his cheeks. "But you said… you said you were going to give me a proper life…" His words choked as he spoke them.

Jack's mouth twisted into a sad, ironic smile. "You said you didn't want one… And I don't know how to give you one either… I don't even know if I could. I don't know if I'd be able to let you go." His next words refused to be spoken, loitering on the very point of his tongue, an edge between an uncertainty and the truth. Jack let himself melt into the moment, and looking into Ianto's eyes the words seemed to flow from him as if they were the rightist words to say in the world.

"Ianto… I love you."

The world seemed to pause for a moment, and then Jack drew Ianto into the most passionate and romantic kiss he'd ever experienced. Ianto seemed to combine with Jack, and no-one who could see them would ever be able to doubt the absolute certainty and truth coating his words. Their grip against each other was soft and without doubt. Their love ran through into their hearts and beat as if they were one, and in time. And the moment was indeed timeless, etched like a fixed point that could never be changed.

Not ever.

They only pulled apart when they heard Steven's voice ring out softly. "Mum, what's Uncle Jack doing with that man? Is he giving him CPR?"

Alice's amused laugh came shortly after. "No dear, that's Uncle Jack's partner."

There was a pause. "Like Batman and Robin?"

The next time Alice spoke she sounded humorous. "Not exactly."

Jack reluctantly disentangled himself from Ianto, and after shooting a smile to the latter, got to his feet and beamed at Steven. "Hey, soldier! Didn't your mom send you out for a bit?"

Steven grinned back. "Yeah, but they were too busy watching you through the window, and I wanted to see mum."

Jack laughed, but Johnson took this brief moment to interrupt, getting over her momentary distraction. "You'd better take him back out." She gestured to the re-appearing guards who'd been with him. "And you—" she addressed Jack after Steven was safely out of sight again. "You can't like the 456 any more than every other damn person on Earth, with or without realising it; so don't you think it's high time to stop messing about and get on with what you 'claim' to do best?" Her words were worded less like a question and more like an order.

Jack glared at him, deep loathing bubbling in his chest. Johnson was angered at his lack of response.

"You may have time for romantic revelations but the rest of the world doesn't!" She drew out her gun, slowly, and pointed it at Ianto. "I'll shoot him," she promised, as Jack made to move towards Ianto. "I may not be able to kill him, but every time he dies it'll hurt you, and every time he draws a new breath I'll just kill him again." Her eyes flickered towards Jack. "Every second you waste away from those computers is a second towards his pain."

Jack narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Slowly, he began to walk towards the computers and the guards stationed there. "There is one thing I'll need," he eventually requested.

Johnson lowered the gun a little, relaxing as her bait was taken. "What?" She snapped.

"It'll be easy enough for you to provide…"

Johnson narrowed her eyes and pulled the gun towards herself, angrily. "What is it?"

In a well-practised movement, Jack swiped the gun off the soldier beside him, turned, and fired.

"Thank you very being so accommodating."

A/N: Okay, maybe I made Johnson a little OOC; and perhaps Jack *wouldn't* have shot her, but, y'know… I don't really like her, so… meh.

Iaaaaaaaanto!

This is a bitter-sweet chappie, and *slightly* too short, but yeah... I'm trying to get myself back on a roll.

Hopefully my next updatey will be quicker than the last.