Don't Own.

oups. haven't kept up with my posting. Sorry.

'America?'

He looked up from the slaughter he unleashed on a battalion of innocent orcs. 'What?'

Russia started to say something but trailed of before even voicing his actual question, too fascinated by the happenings on the screen. '...Is that a wood splinter?'

'Yeah?' He said, now only annoyed. 'It's a cheat, I know, but Tony wanted to try out his new mods and-.' Russia didn't even listen, instead he eyed the game with a kind of strange expression he would found highly concerning had he bothered with it at the moment. 'Whatever.' He grunted, already halfway back on his game. 'What was it that you wanted, now?'

That snapped the other out of his fawning over the blood and gore. 'Err, just...' Russia said. 'Do you know about anything about these nuclear carbonated mummies in the stock rooms?'

He stilled.

He'd known there was something off with these couples of rooms but there had been a fain breeze, as if the windows were open so he had peeked in, just to check. It wasn't as if there had been any keep out signs, or that the doors had been locked or something. How was he supposed to know? Never mind that, America had turned to look at him with an expression that he had to admit, unsettled him greatly for a second.

'...You were in the stock rooms?'

'Da.' He replied simply, ignoring how the game controller slipped out of the petrified man's hands. 'One of the windows was open.' America stared.

The silence stretched.

'Russia...' The other said solemnly, scrambling to his feet. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what?' He said, somehow curious of what came next. Was the other attempting to murder him in cold blood now? America closed the distance between them with two long strides. 'Really, I'm very sorry.'

'Oh no, it wasn't that bad at all.' He responded with a merry smile, feign ignorance. Or innocence. He didn't care, really. It was just a situation far too interesting to pass on... America went on as if not hearing him. 'But you'll have to stay here from now on, Russia. Either that...'

He tilted his head at the other; he did appear quit ragged at the moment, again. Maybe if he kept that up, he'd have him on the same level of dementia as Siberia, even before Christmas. But maybe, that wasn't the best thing, now that he thought about it. Siberia had commit suicide on him, after all. Not something he'd desired to happen again, there was too much effort wasted otherwise. And one time experiencing such a ...failure was more than enough. Still, it was certainly something to occupy himself with.

America exhaled, padding him on the shoulder as if trying to comfort - or calm – him. 'Or you'll have to allow me to fry your brain now.'

'How so?' He asked unconcerned, expecting his nails.

'Nobody 'in the know' leaves US borders alive. Nobody. Never Ever.' The other muttered darkly. 'Just why did you had to open that fucking door!?'

He shrugged. After a second of waiting for any other reaction, America seemed to realize that it was apparently all he had to say to that.

'...Why did you come here at all?'

He inspected the man in front of him for a long moment, just to unsettle the other a bit. And then, he smiled what must have been a motion full of delight for the other's dismay mixed with bewilderment.

'I've come to burn your kingdom down.' He said casually, and then turned, leaving the man standing there to stare at his retreading back. And the sun was shining brightly outside.

'Boss! BOSS! BOSS!'

Instinctively, the President jerked the phone away, his ears ringing from America's hysterical screaming. 'What is it?' He said, trying to sound as calm as possible, which was always the best tactic he as his processors found out. That and patience.

And tranquilizers.

His Secretary cast him an questioning look whereupon he gestured the man to leave the OO. 'Coffee, please.'

'COFFEE?! WHAT COFFEE? BOSS-'

'ALFRED!' He roared back. That was also a good tactic. 'Take a deep breath. In, out.' After a moment he asked. 'Did you?'

'Yes, Boss.' Alfred answered, still frantic but at least he wasn't yelling anymore.

'So, what's going on?'

'Russia. Russia said he was going- going to-'

Where was his red book? He had another paranoia attack to note down. 'What?'

'He said, he said...'

'Deep breaths, Alfred. Remember?'

'HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO NUKE THE COUNTRY!'

He jerked his ear away from the receiver. 'Are you sure you didn't misunderstood him? Did he really say that?' He asked after a second. Nine out of ten, the blonde would simply miss-hear what was said to him, or hear too much.

'No...' America replied. 'He said he 'come to burn my kingdom down'. What else did he mean, eh?'

Oh. No, he was not going to play that part.

'Alfred.' He said after a pause, struggling to give an adequate response. 'I suggest you google it.'

'BUT- Boss-!'

'Really, Alfred.' He sighed, resolving to his role as the psychological-care person one more. 'There's hardly anything to worry about. In case you've forgotten, at the moment he couldn't do such a thing anyway, even if he tried to.'

'Really?'

'Really.' He said in what he'd dubbed his 'assuring the masses' tone. 'But apart from that joke-'

'Joke?'

'Yeah, I'm quite certain it's only a bad joke.'

'How can you be so sure?!' America cried, clearly not convinced.

'Google it.' He repeated his advice. 'Anyway, what I wanted to say before you interrupted me-'

'Sorry.'

'Yeah.' He said, slightly irritated to be interrupted again before - did he just apologize? Quickly he cast a glance out of the window. No flying pigs. 'We've come to the conclusion it would be for the best that he stays-'

'NO!'

'Yes, Alfred. I'm sure you will work it out somehow. It can't be that hard.'

'But, Boss!'

'Please, Alfred. Just do it.' And with that he put the receiver back onto the hook with a definite 'clack'.

Well that was short. Don't worry, it's not what you think. Be back soon.