Last chapter was a nice shake up, yes? Very smutty (: This one is more died down. Kind of a progression. Keep in mind what I said about this story having definite ups and downs… Is it even possible to believe that my original idea for this story was just a one-shot? Hah. We're only into their third day there, and this is a weeklong trip! I absolutely love this story. I'm feeling like it's going to be very hard to end it when the time comes ): Review please and let me know your thoughts!

I sighed a sigh of pure happiness when I woke the next morning to find myself naked in the arms of the man who I was falling in love with all over again.

Memories of last night flooded back to me, and my cheeks flushed.

I had found it nearly impossible to remember why I'd been so infuriated with him to begin with.

Yes, he had left me, and it had hurt.

A lot.

But his parents had died.

And with Julia's death having only occurred a few years previous to that, it couldn't have been easy for him.

Death really seemed to follow him like a ghost.

And I realized he was probably scared for me.

Everyone he was close to had been cruelly taken away from him, except for me.

As I looked down at the boy sleeping peacefully next to me, I stroked his cheek with my thumb and smiled, finally feeling as if my heart were becoming whole again.

Just then, my phone buzzed loudly from across the room and started to ring.

Eli stirred out of his deep sleep as I tried to extract my body from its position tangled within his.

"Clare?" he spoke groggily, "Clare, wha's happening?"

He moaned and reached around me, pulling me right back to him and not letting go.

I smiled as I looked down at him, engraining this moment in my mind forever.

"Sweetie, I have to get my phone. I'll be right back."

He pouted lightly but let me go and I hurried over to my phone.

Just as I answered, I heard a low whistle come from him.

He was smirking and looking over every inch of my exposed body as I shakily asked "Hello?"

"CLARE FUCKING EDWARDS!"

Alli's voice was shrill and angry.

"A-Alli! Hi! Uh, how are you?"

"Don't ask me how the fuck I am, Clare. Where in the HELL are you?" she asked sternly,

"I'm-"

"Yesterday we were all walking out of the hotel together and we all went to eat and to the casinos and the clubs and the bars…"

Jesus, how was this girl still alive after all of that in one night?

"… And next thing I know, someone realizes you were gone! How could you have just up and left in the middle of the night without even telling anyone?"

"Alli, I was-"

"I can't believe you-"

"Alli!" I yelled into the phone, causing Eli to jump.

I flashed an apologetic smile at him before switching back to Alli mode.

"Just listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, but I didn't leave in the middle of the night. I guess you didn't notice, but I didn't even leave the hotel with you. I… I found Eli."

I winced upon telling her, waiting for her wrath to set in.

"WHAT THE HELL? Eli? Clare, are you an idiot?" she yelled so loud it made my ear hurt.

"Alli, listen to me!" I yelled again. "I went to talk to him. We got very… involved in our conversation."

I blushed deeply, taking a deep breath when I didn't hear a reaction from her.

"Before I knew it, it was really late and we were too tired to come back to the hotel, so-"

"You stayed with him? At his place? Oh god, Clare, you didn't fuck him, did you?"

"No!" I answered a little too quickly.

I was sure that Alli, queen of drama, would disown me as a friend if she knew.

"N-no," I repeated a little more calmly, "We just talked. We talked, we got some things sorted out, and we went to sleep. And I'll be back just as soon as I can get a ride. I'm really sorry, Alli."

"Well I guess you'll just have to make it up to me tonight," she said with a sigh, unable to think of any logical argument against my actions.

It was completely understandable to have needed to talk to Eli.

But what I had really done with him, now that was a whole other story.

"I won't let you down. Love you!"

We each hung up and I returned to Eli.

When I tried to slide into the bed beside him, he was tense.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, searching his features and finding them sad looking.

"Are you ashamed to be with me, Clare?" he asked, distress in his voice.

"Of course I'm not!" I answered quickly.

I placed a kiss on his forehead before lifting his chin to ensure he looked at me.

"Eli, I could never be ashamed to be with you. Is this because I told Alli nothing happened between us?"

He nodded, reaching up to touch my cheek.

"Baby, I messed up. I know I did. And I haven't been a good person since I haven't been with you. I don't know how to be without you. I… I fall apart."

"Oh, Eli," I breathed, stroking his cheek.

"Let me finish," he commanded gently. "Being with you again, if even for this short time, it's helped me so much. I really feel like I'm worth a shit when I'm with you. And I don't feel like I'm the scum of the earth, you know? I just hope you see me that way… I don't want you to be ashamed of me."

"Sweetheart, I could never be ashamed of you. Being here with you now, well I want to shout from the rooftops how happy it's made me."

His lips curled up a bit at this.

I smiled as I continued.

"It's just, Alli was there with me through it all after you left. I was so depressed, Eli, I didn't leave my room for nearly a month. I never smiled, I never ate, I couldn't sleep… I was a hot mess."

His face fell once more.

"Sure I was able to become functional again, but Alli was there to see me through all of that. She's been my best friend since year nine, and she cares a lot about me. She hated seeing me like that. And, yeah, it made her hate you. Kind of a lot."

His eyes closed, but both of my hands rested on his cheeks encouraging him to look at me.

"All she saw was what a wreck I was. She wasn't thinking at all about what you were going through. That's why I didn't tell her. I just didn't want to upset her is all. But Eli, I could never be ashamed of you even if I tried."

Because I love you too god damn much.

I knew in my heart that I loved him.

I had never stopped.

But I just couldn't tell him.

It felt spontaneous, and rushed.

It didn't feel like the right time.

He opened his eyes, and those green orbs searched my blue ones for a long while.

"Okay," he murmured, forcing a small smile to his lips.

I kissed his lips softly, and he kissed me back.

"But," I started, dread filling my voice, "I probably should get back soon. It is her weekend, and I kind of owe her my time. Unfortunately."

"It's alright," he answered sweetly, pulling me into a tight hug. "You go have fun with your girls. I'll be okay. As long as you promise to come by the casino to say goodnight before you head in for the night."

I smiled at his eagerness to see me.

"Of course I will."

He held me there for a long while, finally letting me go to get dressed in the clothes from last night and getting up to put some clothes on himself.

Before I knew it we were in Morty headed back to the hotel.

"So what are you going to do today?" I asked curiously.

"I was actually thinking about finishing up my room…"

His voice was a bit distant, but his eyes were set and I knew he was serious.

"Eli, that's great!" I said with a big smile spread across my lips. "I'm really proud of you."

He smirked and reached over to give my hand a squeeze.

"Well I owe it all to you," he said softly, sweetness filling his words.

I blushed, glad that I could have such an effect on him.

We were finally back at the hotel.

I frowned as he stopped in front of it.

"So I'll see you tonight?" he asked a bit anxiously.

"Of course," I murmured in response, leaning in and planting a soft, slow kiss on his lips.

He smirked against my lips, and I slid my tongue into his mouth just for good measure.

He had no idea how much he could control me by that simple facial expression.

I got out of the car and made my way back up to the bachelorette suite.

"Look how wrinkled her clothes are."

"Her hair is a mess."

"Does she have a black eye? That looks like a black eye. Do you think he beat her up?"

"No, Jenna, her make up is smudged."

"She definitely smells like sex."

"Do you think they had sex?"

"Girls, you do know I can year all of you, right?" I muttered bitterly, giving them the bitchiest look I could muster.

"Come on," Alli said with a commanding tone to her voice, "Leave her alone. She's been through a lot in the last forty-eight hours."

I smiled gratefully at her, and she smiled back.

"I'm so sorry, Alli. I've been an awful friend."

"Clare-bear, you arranged the most fantastic trip of my life. You needed that time with him to sort things out. But if you're satisfied and have closure and all of that shit now, I won't be sharing you for the rest of the trip!"

My heart fell at the thought of not getting to sneak off to meet Eli anymore, but I convinced myself I would find a way and I nodded with a smile.

"Of course. I'm all yours."

Several hours after we were ready, we found ourselves at a nice restaurant just a little ways from the hotel.

Our day was full of the usual Vegas attractions, everyone completely amazed except for me.

All I could think of was how much I wanted to be back in the arms of the man I loved.

…

As I finally arrived back at my apartment, I sighed with disappointment.

Last night had been a dream.

Not even a week ago I had believed that I would never see Clare again.

Now, not only had I seen her again, and not only had we sorted things out and gotten to be on good terms, but I had also slept with her.

Twice.

My life was taking a definite turn for the better, at least for now.

My sweet, innocent, beautifully perfect Clare didn't know the half of it.

She didn't know just out of control I'd become.

How many drugs I'd had stints with.

How many nights I'd spent, trashed out of my fucking mind; how I had basically become an alcoholic.

How many girls I'd slept with, starting only a few months after I left.

I hated myself for knowing these things.

If I were to ever be honest with her about how stupid I'd been through the five years that had gone by, I knew that she would hate me all over again.

And as much as she deserves nothing but the truth from me, I didn't want to lose her.

Not again.

I wouldn't be able to stand this horrific world without her.

When she spoke of how Alli hated me for what I did to her, it made me think of how much everyone must hate me.

And I found myself thinking of Adam.

I was one of the guy's only true friends, and I'd left him behind too.

I knew Clare would have looked after him, but I felt like an awful person.

We were like brothers, and I'd abandoned him.

I was quickly realizing what a stupid fuck I had been all of these years.

Frustrated and confused, I got out of my car and went up to the apartment.

I made my way past the messy living room and found my bedroom, only a few miscellaneous piles left.

I found the one furthest from my bed and began to sort through it.

I was determined to clean up; I wanted to make Clare happy.

Everything good that I did was for her.

I found an old notebook that was very familiar.

On the cover it read English, and I knew it was from school.

The next few notebooks in the stack were all from school, I soon found out.

I carried them all back to my bed, deciding to take a walk down memory lane.

As I plopped them down on my bed, a stack of photos fell from the pages of one.

I picked up the pictures and smiled.

The first was of Clare and I, she was wearing a stunning black strapless dress and I was wearing a black tux with a red skinny tie.

She had a radiant glow about her as she smiled that beautiful smile of hers; I was smirking, but I saw the happiness in my eyes.

I remembered the day like it was yesterday.

It was from my senior prom, she had been a junior.

My mom had taken the photo of us, along with about a hundred others.

That day was only two weeks before the accident.

It was hard to look at the memories captured by the photos, but I pushed through.

The next was of Adam and Clare, both looking at me with annoyed looks on their faces.

I had taken the picture for when I went to college, "to remember them by."

Of course college never happened for me.

The next picture was of Clare and I again.

Her arm was extended, holding the camera.

We were wrapped up in each other, our lips locked in a kiss.

This was the first picture at which I smiled.

I remembered the feeling of her lips on mine just that morning.

After searching through the rest of the pictures, I stowed them away in the bedside drawer.

I looked through the rest of the notebooks to make sure I didn't discard anything important before throwing them in the trash.

It was hard, but it was liberating.

I finally felt strong again.

By the end of the afternoon, my bedroom was all cleaned out and I was started on the living room.

…

After a long night of partying with the girls, we finally made it back to the hotel.

One of the girls had started to get sick, so it was only one in the morning, very early in terms of the two days previous.

I mumbled to Alli how I felt like I would be sick and slid off to the bathroom.

The girls in all of their drunken glory stumbled onto the elevator.

Of course I wasn't going to be sick, I was nowhere near that intoxicated.

But I knew if I were to keep my promise to Eli, I'd have to be secretive with Alli.

When I was sure they would be upstairs, I walked into the familiar casino.

I wasn't out of my mind drunk, but I was definitely tipsy.

I glided over to Eli's table and smiled excitedly when I saw him bent over the table, distributing cards.

When he looked up to me his face lit up.

"Jack!" I heard him call out. "Take my spot for my break?"

The intimidating man from the other day went over to him and soon took his place behind the table.

He'd waited all night, almost to the end of his shift for a break.

Just to spend time with me.

My heart raced as Eli walked over to me.

"Hi," I breathed, standing on my toes to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

He laughed melodically, earning a giggle from me even before I knew what was so humorous.

"Someone's been drinking tonight," he murmured, poking my nose playfully.

I scrunched up my nose and shrugged, my eyes mischievous.

"Well you're just the cutest damn thing I've ever seen," he said with a grin.

I took his hand in mine and pulled him along with me.

We eventually arrived at the hotel lounge, and we sat together on one of the plush sofas.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I let myself melt into his body.

"I missed you today," I whispered, closing my eyes and taking in the perfect moment.

"I missed you too," he said back; at the time I didn't hear the distress in his voice.

"Oh, so did you get through your room?" I asked, suddenly remembering.

I took his hand that wasn't on my shoulder and absent-mindedly played with his fingers.

"Yeah, actually. And I started on the living room."

There was unmistakable happiness in his voice.

His joy made my heart happy.

"That's great, Eli! Oh, I'm so proud of you."

I brought his hand to my lips and kissed each of his fingertips.

"Yeah, it was hard at first, but it got easier. You've helped me so much Clare."

I sighed and looked up at him with a smile.

"It's the least I can do," I said sincerely.

He pulled me close and tenderly pressed his lips to mine.

Our lips moved gently with the kisses they were giving and receiving.

I felt his tongue on my lips and let it in eagerly.

It probed my mouth, and the feeling of him and me in this moment was pure perfection.

I wanted to tell him how I felt.

That I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him.

But something kept me from doing so.

There would be plenty of time for that, I told myself.

For now, I would enjoy the most perfect good night kiss imaginable.