Thanks to Gianna for betaing!
Chapter 10: Merry Christmas
Cam was sitting on her sofa, a glass of red wine in her hand and a pensive look on her face. After her strange conversation with Hodgins this morning and one other after that when she had seen him, he had been MIA all day. She had seen how he had entered the Institute around late afternoon only to leave work earlier than usual.
When she had come home she had tried to call him but he hadn't been home. When she had tried his cell he had shut his phone off. She wondered if that was his way of ending the relationship. She had to admit though that it wasn't really his style and he hadn't been the one who had wanted some time off. She had never been in a situation like this and it got more unbearable with every day that passed. She was not able to pick up where they had left though and the problem was that she didn't know why. Since she had found out about the pregnancy she was no longer able to feel like a normal person.
"Hey Cam," Michelle said when she came into the living room and plopped down on the couch beside her.
"Hey Michelle. How was your day?" she asked, having not seen her all day.
"Good, nothing special. Yours?" she replied and got comfortable.
"We solved the murder," Cam said without excitement.
"And you didn't want to solve it? Why are you sounding so depressed?" Michelle picked up on Cam's mood.
"Nah, it was good that we solved it. It's just that... Hodgins was really weird today," Cam shrugged, unsure if she wanted to tell Michelle or not.
"When isn't he weird?" Michelle deadpanned.
"Then of course you're right," Cam grinned.
"No, seriously. What normal guy has three doctorates? Most don't even have one," the teen explained.
"I never really thought about that. The first thing I learned about him is that he likes his crazy experiments."
"Please no details on those I missed. I don't wanna have nightmares again," Michelle requested. "And what was going on today?" she asked then.
"He was running in and out of the lab today, lying to me when I asked him if he needed to leave. And a few minutes ago I tried to call him and he switched off his cell phone," Cam reported.
"Was he in a bad mood? Angry?" Michelle replied.
"No, he seemed to be in a suspiciously good mood, now that I think about it," Cam said and wrinkled her forehead.
"Maybe he has a new girlfriend," Michelle shrugged.
"What? That is not even close to funny," Cam gaped at her.
"It wasn't meant as a joke. I'm being serious," the teen replied and looked Cam in the eyes. She really wasn't joking.
"We're not broken up, Michelle, and Jack wouldn't cheat on me," Cam insisted.
"Then why is he not here and why don't you know where he is? He doesn't come here anymore, he doesn't even call anymore. You two seeing each other at work and talking about particulates is your idea of a relationship?" she pointed out.
"We're taking a break," came the weak reply.
"I told you already that I don't get it. However if I were Jack and the woman who I nearly had a baby with suddenly decided she needed time to think about if she loves me enough to have a future with me I'd be pretty damn pissed," Michelle summed it up.
"It was a mutual decision," Cam tried to say something in her favor.
"That's why he wants to move in with you, marry you and have kids with you? That's why he suddenly says 'Oh let's take a break. I know what I want, but let's just take one for the heck of it.'?!" Michelle replied in a deeper voice.
"Why are you taking sides? And his?"
"Because I think this sucks. He's sad, you're sad and still you can't just give in and have what you both want. And while we're at it: I also think it's weird that I am more upset over you losing the baby than you are. I know, I know, it was an ectopic pregnancy. But still, there could have been a baby..." Michelle trailed off, not sure how far she could go before Cam would explode. Cam didn't say anything however, she just looked down at her hands.
"I don't know what's wrong with me either," she admitted finally.
"Maybe you should talk to Dr. Sweets," Michelle offered more unwanted advice.
"No way. I just need some time, that's all," Cam refused to even discuss it.
"Ok," Michelle nodded. "What are we watching tonight?" she asked then and changed the topic.
"No idea what's on. You decide," Cam smiled gratefully and drank the last few drops of her red wine.
"To be honest Sweets, I never thought I'd end up in a bar one day with you as my drinking buddy," Hodgins laughed and slapped the psychologists shoulder.
"I guess I should be offended, but somehow I'm not," the younger man shrugged with a good hearted smile and took another sip of his beer. "Dr. Saroyan coming later?" Sweets asked once he had swallowed.
"No, she isn't," Hodgins shook his head and his expression hardened.
"Something wrong?" Sweets asked, already knowing that something was going on. He was a trained psychologist after all and he had picked up on all the little things lately. Hodgins sighed. He knew if he denied it, it would just make Sweets more suspicious.
"We decided that we shouldn't spend as much time together anymore for a while," he told him.
"Do you want to talk about why?" Sweets asked, switching into professional mode.
"I'm not lying on your couch, Sweets, so no," Hodgins replied aggressively and drank some more beer. Sweets remained silent after Hodgins outburst and waited. He could see the wheels turning in Hodgins' head. "You know what... I do want to talk about it. Maybe you can explain to me what the hell is going on. Because honestly, I don't get it anymore," the entomologist finally said.
"Ok, I'm all ears," Sweets said and leaned forward, leaning his arms on the table.
"One more thing: If you tell anyone anything about what I say I will kill you slowly and painfully and then dump your body somewhere it'll never be found," Hodgins threatened darkly and Sweets only nodded again. "Cam was pregnant," Hodgins dropped the bomb and Sweets mouth hung open.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed.
"It was an ectopic pregnancy and she lost the baby before a surgery could be performed," Hodgins went on.
"How did she take it?" Sweets wanted to know.
"She didn't care. She said she was actually relieved she lost the baby," he reported.
"What? Knowing Dr. Saroyan I have trouble believing that," Sweets admitted.
"Tell me about it," Hodgins muttered.
"And then?" Sweets gently prodded for more information.
"She said that she doesn't want to have kids. Not now, not ever. She doesn't want to get married… she wants no family in her future," he said.
"But you want one," Sweets stated.
"More than anything," Hodgins nodded.
"More than Cam herself?" Sweets asked pointedly and Hodgins looked at him like he hadn't understood the question. But Sweets didn't back down and held the eye contact.
"I love her," Hodgins replied and sounded nearly angry.
"I don't doubt that. Still, if she won't adjust her plans for you, you will have to adjust yours. If you can," the psychologist told him what he already knew.
"That's exactly why we decided to spend some time apart so we can think about it," Hodgins replied.
"A very rational decision. Dr. Saroyan came up with it?" Sweets concluded.
"She did. What I don't get is why she just won't have kids. Why can't she see a future for us?" Hodgins asked helplessly.
"I don't know why Dr. Saroyan is feeling the way she does, I would have to talk to her in order to find out. However, I don't think she doesn't see a future for you two. Her future plans just don't involve kids and a wedding. Most likely, if you are able to forget about these things you could be back together in a heartbeat," Sweets explained.
"Maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed if I didn't have the feeling that she secretly wants kids. I mean, have you seen her with Michelle or Parker? She loves kids and she still puts up with her crazy family although they all hate each other's guts." Hodgins fell silent and Sweets didn't say anything either. There was nothing the young psychologist could do as long as he couldn't talk to Cam. And Hodgins simply didn't have an answer yet to the question that he had been asking himself ever since their non-breakup.
It had been over two weeks since Cam had last been called to a crime scene. And this one had been special for several reasons: Santa had tried to rob a bank and had then exploded, Booth had been an eye-witness and it was the first time since the greasy gamer that she and Hodgins had to work together again.
Ever since he had refused to take her call that one night she hadn't tried calling him again and neither had he tried to call her. They sometimes saw each other at the lab and always exchanged a few words about work and Michelle. They weren't hostile towards each other, just very guarded and each tried to keep himself from getting hurt.
By unspoken agreement, as soon as one of them would make a decision they would talk again, but so far nothing had changed. How long until they would accept that there simply was no common ground for a relationship?
Secretly they were both happy about the case because working together meant seeing each other more. No matter how much it hurt, it was still better seeing each other as co-workers than not seeing each other at all. Cam had worked "normal" autopsies the last two weeks, while Hodgins had done some more studies with his bugs that he had wanted to do for ages. Still, the satisfaction he usually felt working scientifically was lacking completely and more often than not he found himself staring off into space, trying to talk himself into accepting a future without a family.
Finding himself squatting on the ground at a crime scene, just a few feet away from the woman he loved was making him giddy with excitement, especially because her warm smile with which she had greeted him told him that she felt the same way. If this was all they got at the moment, they would gladly take it.
"Hey, oh, what do you got?" Booth wanted to know when he walked up to him.
"Recovering bomb fragments... hey, check this out. Explosives unit guys loaned me these magnetized gloves," Hodgins said excitedly and showed Booth the gloves with the metal fragments sticking to them. "Oh, these are so going on my Christmas list," he grinned, totally refusing to acknowledge the fact that Booth was looking at him like he had lost his mind.
"That stuff there, is that from the bomb, or is that from Santa?" the FBI agent changed the topic back to something that was of interest to him.
"Bomb. Oily pudding residue indicates a homemade emulsion bomb," Hodgins informed him. "Man, you sure you're okay?" he asked him when Booth sighed heavily.
"Fine. 'Kay?" he snapped.
"He says he's fine, but that may just be a function of shock," Brennan provided when she walked up to them.
"I'm fine. You know what, I'm gonna go home, grab a shower and get cleaned up," Booth replied while he walked away.
"No, Booth!" Brennan suddenly yelled.
"I am FINE... will you just stop worrying about me, Bones?" Booth replied annoyed.
"Spinous process!" she replied pointing to his back.
"What? Where? " he asked and tried to look at his own back.
"Yes, indeed, that is a definite chunk of Santa," Hodgins nodded.
"We're gonna need some bags, Cam," Brennan yelled over her shoulder and Hodgins followed her look with his eyes. Cam had turned around as well and when she saw him looking in her direction she grinned.
"No. No, no," Hodgins heard Booth protest and he rolled his eyes at them so Cam could see it.
"I'm sorry, Booth, but you're evidence now," Brennan said just as Cam started laughing about Hodgins silent commentary on the bickering partners. He tried to hide his own laughter and after another second of smiling at each other they both went back to work.
"Hey stranger, I've got something for you," Hodgins grinned when he walked into Cam's office later in the morning.
"Why do I know it's not an early Christmas present?" Cam joked and looked up from whatever part of Santa she had been analyzing.
"No Christmas this year, Santa just exploded," he shrugged and handed her an evidence tray with something gooey on it.
"A nostril, how nice," she acknowledged when she saw what it was.
"Swapped it earlier and thought since it's flesh it's your domain," he shrugged still with a grin.
"Thank you so much," she laughed quietly and placed the tray on her autopsy table.
"Hey, there's something I wanted to ask you," he said then, now that he had worked up the courage.
"Yes?" she asked.
"I want to get Michelle something for Christmas, but I have no idea what. I thought maybe we could go to lunch together today and you could tell me what you think about my ideas?" he asked hopefully. Sure, they both knew the whole present thing was just an excuse to spend time together, but still he could use some ideas what to get them both.
"I'm sorry I can't today," she said and his face fell. Cam wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but then she spoke before she could stop herself. "I wanted to buy some decorations today during lunch break. But if you like you could come along and we'll grab a burger or something on the way?" she asked, offering him the hand he had been waiting for.
"Sounds good," he nodded, a smile now back on his face.
"Ok. We'll leave around noon?" she asked, mirroring his smile.
"Great. See you later, Dr. Saroyan," he smiled and left the room before he would lose his control, wrap his arms around her and kiss her right there, next to the nostril.
Shortly before they would have to leave Hodgins walked up to the platform to give Brennan the latest results, so she could work through lunch break as she usually did. Booth was still at the lab sitting dressed only in boxers and socks on a table.
"Hey, Booth?" he asked, his eyes still fixed on his clipboard.
"Yeah?" came the short reply.
"Think I got something here," he said and took two stairs at time.
"Oh, great, join the party," Booth replied sarcastically. When Hodgins looked up because of the unfriendly reply he did a double take at the chest of the agent.
"Dude. Where's your chest hair?" he burst out.
"I'm highly evolved," Booth said.
"His pubic extension is entirely within normal—" Brennan jumped in to defend her partner and to Hodgins relief Booth stopped her before he would hear things he really didn't want to hear.
"Enough. Okay, so what do you got?" Booth said.
"I'm cataloguing bomb components so we can run it through EXIS, the Explosive Incidents System. Bomb makers' signatures are as unique as handwriting. We found this computer chip that sets frequency on a two-way radio, which means this bomb was command-initiated, triggered via electronic signal from the two-way," Hodgins told him and handed the clipboard over.
"Right, that would explain the crackle I heard right before the bomb went off, and there was this voice..." he nodded.
"You know, if Santa had a partner, he was probably monitoring that frequency," Hodgins told him and gave him the frequency a moment later, knowing that they would be able to find it, taking it off his to do list so he and Cam could go out and buy Christmas decorations.
"Why do you want to buy Michelle something anyway?" Cam asked him as they hurried through the aisles of the decoration store.
"You know, we're friends. I like her... so I want to give her something," he shrugged and stopped quickly to throw some tinsel into the cart.
"I still don't have an idea what to get her. I thought about buying her her own Wii, but I'm not really keen on that idea," she said and pushed the cart further.
"I have one," he said, the 'we don't need two' loudly swinging with his words.
"Jack," Cam sighed, not willing to discuss this now.
"What? Have you already given up on us?" he asked her, his chin clenching. He looked like a kicked puppy.
"No, of course not. It was just an idea and I won't do it. You're right, we don't need two video games," she nodded.
"Don't scare me like this," he requested quietly.
"Sorry," she replied and surprised him by taking his hand in hers hesitantly.
"Nothing to be sorry about. This situation both puts us both on edge," he said, laced his fingers through hers and gave her hand a squeeze. He was rewarded with a tiny smile and once again realized that she was hurting just as much as he was. No matter how angry it made him that she was stubbornly insisting on not having kids and not getting married- it wasn't easy for her, just as it wasn't easy for him. "What do you think about this ginormous gingerbread house?" he asked her to lighten the mood, but didn't let go of her hand.
"Michelle will love it!" she smiled. "Andrew always bought a smaller one and she would have fun eating half of it before Christmas day," Cam laughed at the memory. Hodgins smile got pained, because he knew that if he stayed with her and she wasn't able to change her mind, he would never have memories like this of his own kids.
As they drove back to the Institute, Cam opened her mouth several times to speak until she found the courage to say what was on her mind.
"Has Brennan invited you over for Christmas as well?" she asked him.
"Yes, but I won't be able to make it," he replied without taking his eyes off the road.
"Oh, you have other plans?" she asked quietly.
"I booked a trip to Aspen. I used to go there when I was still single and this year... I don't feel like sitting alone at home for the holidays," he informed her and glanced over at her, only to find her looking out the window.
"You could have come over," she admitted, because she had hoped he would.
"And do what Cam? Take a break from the break?" he asked her, without his usual anger. He seemed calm and collected but let glimpses show of how much he was hurting. She knew anyway. She felt the same. "You know I want to be with you and nothing would make me happier than spending the holidays with you and Michelle. But you have to understand that while you still have Michelle and that crazy family of yours, once I go back home, all I have is an empty house that's waiting for me. I will miss you two enough already with some kind of distraction, but seeing what I'll maybe never really have.... I can't do it, I'm sorry," he said.
"I wish I could change how I feel about... you know. But I can't. Just the thought is making me panic."
"How about we are friends and colleagues for now. We stop avoiding each other, because that sucks more than anything. I miss talking to you, babe. And first thing we'll do in the new year is met and talk. That'll be our deadline, ok?" he asked her. He knew he would feel better just knowing when this torture would be over.
"Ok," she nodded but didn't sound too happy about it. He was right though. It had been several weeks already and they still weren't any closer to resolving their issues than in the beginning.
"So you are going to spend Christmas Eve at Brennan's?" he asked to change the topic.
"Yes. I have to be at my dad's place the day after that though. There's no way to escape them," she replied.
"I'm sure Michelle loves it," he laughed.
"She's thrilled," she nodded and had to laugh as well.
"But besides that I think I will just try to keep Michelle from falling into a hole. It's her first Christmas without her dad. And he always made a big deal out of Christmas, with decorations, traditions, watching Christmas movies. The whole shebang," she smiled at the memory.
"Ah, that's why you need all those decorations," he replied and pointed quickly to all the stuff that covered the whole backseat of his car.
"Would it be wrong to stay in bed all day and have sex?" was the first thing Cam heard Daisy say when she walked into the bone room. "Why always me?" she thought and decided to say something before she heard more gruesome details.
"Yes, it would. And what is with everybody today? " she told them when she saw Sweets was in the room as well.
"We were just discussing holiday plans," Sweets said innocently.
"Oh. Did Dr. Brennan ask you about Christmas dinner? " Cam replied and tried to stay away from the sex talk.
"She did. I said it wouldn't be a Christmas dinner unless it occurred in March," Daisy offered.
"Interesting. Clear off, Sweets. We have to ID our Christmas-in-December bomber," Cam said, though not without flinching at the strangeness of the squint by her side.
"Bye, Lancelot. Colon, end bracket, colon, capital D!" Daisy chirped.
"Semicolon, end parentheses, "less than" sign, numeral three," Sweets replied and made the according gestures.
"Colon, capital P" Daisy replied and unintentionally made Cam snap and lose her patience as well as the control over the words that came out of her mouth.
"Oh, dear God. I'm gonna yak," she deadpanned and at that Sweets finally left her alone with his nutty girlfriend so she could present her the newest findings.
Later that afternoon Cam was working on her computer. Officially she was doing the paperwork that went with all of their findings, unofficially she was surfing the net checking out the different houses she had found when she had googled Hodgins and his family estates. When she suddenly heard steps she quickly closed the browser and turned around, finding Michelle standing there.
"Hey," the teen greeted her.
"Hey, I was just thinking of you," Cam smiled when she saw the girl.
"Oh, my God, what did you buy?" Michelle laughed when she saw the stuff that was now standing on Cam's desk.
"Gingerbread house, talking reindeer, peppermint bark... I went a little crazy. I know how much your dad loved Christmas," Cam grinned guiltily.
"You didn't get my present, did you?" Michelle wanted to know.
"Still working on that," she had to admit.
"Good. 'Cause I know what I want... Hawaii. The Big Island," Michelle said.
"That would be hard to wrap," Cam grinned, not really knowing where she was going with this.
"No, I want to go there for Christmas. Please don't say no, Cam. Please.," the teen begged and gave her her patented puppy eyes that rarely failed their purpose.
"That sounds fantastic, but I only have a couple days off," Cam grinned, relieved that maybe she would get out of all her obligations and could distract herself with a nice vacation, far away from anything Hodgins related.
"Not with you. With Paris's family. Her mom and dad invited me," Michelle shattered her hopes as quickly as she had built them.
"They did?" this was the first time she was hearing about this.
"I know it's totally last minute, but I found a cheap flight, and the hotel is covered, and all I have to do is pack shorts and bathing suits," Michelle went on and the excitement was back in her voice as she was telling the details.
"You... really... thought this through," Cam replied, still processing everything.
"If I stay, it's just the two of us, and that's depressing," Michelle replied and Cam had troubles not to gasp aloud. Michelle was fleeing because Hodgins wouldn't be around? Sure, it would be hard for her without Hodgins on Christmas. And Michelle would still grieve for her father. It would be depressing, for both of them, she realized.
"You really want to go? It's that important to you? " she asked her.
"It's important to me. And this way you can do what you usually do at Christmas instead of worrying about me," Michelle said.
"Oh, you're not a worry. You...," Cam immediately said, but Michelle sighed and pouted and she realized that from Michelle's point of view flying away to Hawaii was probably the easiest way out of all her troubles. "If that's what you want, then of course you can go," she decided.
"Thank you!" Michelle exclaimed and rushed to Cam and hugged her. Cam was able to keep her smile on her face for a second and put it back on when Michelle pulled back upon hearing Hodgins' voice.
"Hey, Michelle," he sounded happy to see her and had a large smile on his face.
"Hi, Dr. Hodgins," she replied in her usual way.
"Mind if I steal her away?" he asked Michelle but glanced at Cam, seeing the fake smile on her face.
"She's all yours," the teen replied nonchalantly and hurried out of the lab with a wave. She was barely out the door when Cam sighed and her smile fell.
"You're ok?" Hodgins asked her and stepped forward. He reached out and gently picked at her bangs, arranging her hair in a slightly different way.
"Michelle will spend Christmas in Hawaii," she told him and looked up.
"Oh," he replied. "That sucks."
"I had to let her go. Maybe she'll be less sad with her friend's family in Hawaii than alone here with me," she shrugged and got up.
"Or she'll be even sadder, because she'll be with strangers while her own family, who loves her, will be sitting all alone here in D.C.," Hodgins replied and placed a hand on her lower back, ushering her out of her office.
"Now I've said yes and I have to let her go," Cam admitted.
"Until she's on that plane it's never too late," he told her and led her into the bone room where Daisy was already waiting.
A day later they were still working the same case and Hodgins realized that he wouldn't make his flight. He had called the flight agency and had pushed his flight back two days, so he would be able to take it either way.
He had also informed Brennan that he would spend Christmas Eve with the rest of the team and her family at her place. This gave him the opportunity to keep an eye on Cam that night and see how she would be doing without Michelle. He already tried talking himself out of it, but deep inside he knew that if she was too sad he would stay in D.C. and spend his Christmas vacation trying to cheer her up- even if it was just as a friend- until Michelle came back.
Besides his personal things he had also worked on some of the particulates found at the crime scene.
"We ran the details of the bomb against the EXIS database. It's an identical match for a number of devices all built by the same man," Cam told Booth as she and Hodgins had contacted him via video conference.
"A guy named Malaki Wallace," Hodgins went on and with a few clicks showed Booth the files on the screen.
"He got busted in the '90s for robbing a Western Union office," Cam went on providing the more personal facts about the guy.
"And using an emulsion bomb with a light bulb initiator," Hodgins told the more scientific things.
"Okay, anything more current? " Booth asked.
"No. He's been dormant since he got out of prison," Cam replied in the negative and shook her head. She was unaware of the fact that Hodgins inhaled deeply when the scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils.
"Prison? " Booth sounded surprised.
"Yeah. And it looks like he came back with a bang," Cam said and at Hodgins' look, that told her for once that it was inappropriate, she just shrugged and grinned, then ended the video conference.
"You and your quips," he grinned once he was sure Booth couldn't hear them anymore.
"What? That one was basically screaming to be said out loud," she laughed and he had to laugh with her. They looked at each other, still laughing, and their eyes locked. After all these weeks it was the first time they didn't feel the awkwardness that had been present between them ever since their on-break up. It seemed as if the spark was back, although they knew the situation was still unresolved, so they simply enjoyed the telling looks that passed between them.
"I should go back to work," Hodgins said then, a smile still on his face.
"If we ever want to get out of here, we both should," she replied and turned to leave. It was the moment she walked away from him when she realized that no matter how crappy things were between them or what else was going on in her life, with him she was always happier than without him.
"Oh, you looked peeved," Angela remarked when she ran into Cam later that day.
"I went to wash my hands just now, but there was no soap in the dispenser. It had to be...," she pointed out, because missing soap and bathroom together clearly screamed Hodgins. So she was marching into his office, already having a suspicion what was going on. "Hodgins," she called when she stepped over the threshold, her voice warning him that she wasn't in the best mood anymore.
"Hey," he greeted her sheepishly and didn't miss her mouth falling open when he turned around and she could see that he was wearing a bomb-type contraption similar to that of the bomber. "Uh, you look irked," he added but didn't get any reply from her. Instead she kept staring in horror at him, with her mouth still hanging open.
"She's mad about the soap," Angela translated for him when Cam kept staring.
"Your analysis of the emulsion bomb included detergent," Cam was finally able to speak, although the unbelieving expression was still on her face.
"You didn't actually get permission to recreate the bomb, did you?" Angela asked him.
"Oh, my God," Cam gasped when it registered with her that he had really built a bomb in her lab and had even strapped himself into it. This was a new kind of crazy, even for him. She had never pegged him for the suicidal kind of guy.
"I needed to do this so that Angela could recreate the explosion," he explained.
"You told him that?" Cam immediately turned on Angela.
"No, no, don't let him turn this around on me," the artist protested.
"I do not want an explosive device in my lab," Cam told Hodgins and spoke slowly and clearly so he would get the message. Although knowing him, she was aware that she could tattoo it on his forehead and he still would do the exact same thing again the next time.
"Relax, I did not connect the initiator..." he said and cut one of the wires.
"No!" Cam said in shock and was really scared for a second that he would blow himself up.
"It is perfectly safe," he said patiently and realized that it felt good that she was worried about his safety.
"What's that?" Cam asked him, pointing to the residue on the tips of his fingers.
"It's antimony sulfide. It's fine on its own. It's perfectly harmless. The bomber used it in the detonating charge," he shrugged.
"Hodgins is very authentic when it comes to his reconstructions," Angela grinned.
"We have to pull the evidence trays," Cam said suddenly and ran out of his lab. For a second he and Angela exchanged a puzzled look. He knew that she had just found something and quickly took off the vest and followed her, Angela hot on his heels.
"Give me a clue here, guys. What are we looking for?" Angela asked after they had put all the evidence boxes onto the platform.
"It's H11209, biological evidence from witness Georgia Hartmeyer," Cam said after checking the papers for what she was looking for.
"Oh, got it. It's her fingernail," Hodgins said when he found the box and opened it.
"I thought it was just blast residue, but that stain's definitely on the inside," Cam explained while Hodgins took out the fingernail clip, swapped it and then licked the Q-tip. Both Angela and Cam scrunched up their faces in disgust.
"Did you have to do that?" Cam asked him and thought to herself that she surely would not kiss him again until he brushed his teeth... not that they were kissing at the moment, she remembered a moment later.
"It's metallic and sweet. That is definitely antimony sulfide," Hodgins ignored her complaint.
"And it couldn't have gotten there unless she helped assemble the bomb," Cam concluded and the other two nodded in agreement.
That Wednesday night Cam and Michelle were on their way to the airport. Cam tried to be cool about Michelle flying off, but she couldn't get Jack's words out of her head. She wasn't sure if she was being egotistic and she didn't want to be. However what message would it send to Michelle if she just let her go? One should fight for the ones you love and she wanted to do that, even if it was just about having her around for Christmas.
"You're being quiet. I promise to text 85 times a day," Michelle said when she noticed the pensive mood Cam was in. She had seen her like this a lot recently, even more since she had announced that she wanted to spend Christmas with a friend. She was surprised when Cam pulled over. "Why are you stopping?" she asked her.
"I don't want you to go to Hawaii," Cam blurted out in her usual clumsy way. She was always like this when she had to get things off her chest.
"You're changing your mind?" Michelle became angry right away.
"You and me... we're the closest thing we have to family," Cam told her as she tried to find the right words.
"You can't just change your mind," Michelle protested and didn't want to hear the rest of her speech.
"And family spends Christmas together. We're spending Christmas together," Cam went on.
"You're serious?! " the teen screeched.
"If I let you go, you're gonna have a good time...," Cam added.
"What's wrong with that?!" Michelle asked, not understanding what her legal guardian was getting at.
"Everything. because that's what we'll be to each other, just two people who don't spend Christmas together," Cam said, still not finding the right words to make Michelle understand.
"So you want to be two people who spend Christmas together but one of them is really, really mad?" Michelle asked with an attitude.
"I know deep down you care," Cam replied."I just hope not too deep down," she added quieter.
"Can we at least talk about this?" Michelle asked and tried to calm down. She wanted Cam to understand why she couldn't stay in D.C. The matter wasn't up for discussion anymore though.
"No. It's my job to prove to you every day that you are loved in this world. And if doing that makes you angry...," Cam spoke from her heart and didn't care anymore how it sounded.
"It makes me furious!" Michelle threw in with tears in her eyes.
"Well, then that's the price I pay. But you will know beyond a doubt that I can't just let you go flying off and not have it absolutely ruin my Christmas," Cam said and halted for a second, not sure if she should say the words that were on the tip of her tongue. They would reveal how messed up everything was at the moment and she had yet to admit to Michelle that she wasn't as ok and optimistic as she pretended to be. The words spilled out. "Because right now, the way things are, there's... no Christmas without you." It was all she could do to hold back the tears. She looked down to her hands and felt Michelle's eyes on her, before she looked away with a sigh. She missed the slight eye roll of the teen, who understood, that if she would leave now, Cam would be all alone for Christmas, without either of the two most important people in her life. If Hodgins was there she might let her go, because he would be able to cheer her up, but without him... Michelle understood suddenly that Cam needed someone who loved her now, someone to be there and be with her, while everything else seemed to be falling apart.
When she had her feelings under control again Cam looked at her daughter and waited until Michelle met her eyes again. She was more than surprised when Michelle leaned over and hugged her. Cam closed her eyes and enjoyed it, the feeling of loneliness that had been ever-present since her and Hodgins non-break-up vanished for these few seconds.
Michelle might not understand why Cam and Hodgins were broken up, but she could see every day how much Cam was hurting and it made her sad seeing her usually so strong legal guardian vulnerable and on the brink of tears.
"I love you, too," Michelle said after she had pulled back and smiled as Cam smiled back. The teen felt like she needed to finally tell her again, after all these years. Cam made it obvious and showed her that she loved her and now it was time for her to finally say it out loud, that she loved her too. That she was there for her. And would always be, no matter what. Cam wouldn't be alone anymore.
After this interlude it even made sense to Michelle that they started Christmas Eve with going to a funeral.
"Nobody should be alone for Christmas," Michelle said when they walked over the cemetery. She was still shaken by what she had just witnessed. Seeing the mother bury her only son all alone on Christmas had touched all of them and they knew it had been right to come.
"I agree," Hodgins, who was walking with them to the exit, said quietly.
"Hey Cam, would you mind if we, you know... said hi to Dad," Michelle asked next and stepped closer to her mother.
"Of course not," Cam smiled encouragingly at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Ok, I'll go then and see you tonight at Dr. B's," Hodgins shrugged and pointed in the direction of the exit.
"Can't you come? I would like to introduce you. After all you helped find out who killed my dad and I'm sure he appreciates it," Michelle told him and he looked at Cam and questioningly raised an eyebrow, but only got a shrug in reply.
"Uhm, sure," he said hesitatingly and followed them to the grave where Dr. Andrew Welton was buried.
"Hey Dad," Michelle said when they reached the white gravestone. "Maria Welton 1967-1993, beloved mother and wife. Andrew Welton 1964-2009, beloved father and husband." the inscription said and it struck Jack as strange that Michelle didn't address her mother. "I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. And I want you to meet someone. This is Dr. Jack Hodgins, he helped find out what happened to you. And he's a really nice guy," she said and then walked back to Cam, her eyes brimming with tears. "Thank you for sending me Cam, Dad," she said then and wrapped her arms around Cam's arm and leaned her head against her shoulder. Cam didn't say anything, but just kissed her forehead. They stood there for a moment longer and looked at the stone, each lost in their own thoughts. "Ok, we can go now," Michelle said bravely. She linked her arm through Hodgins as they walked away from her parents' grave. They turned two corners when Hodgins suddenly stopped.
"While we're here anyway... Could you two do me a favor and come with me?" he asked them and they both nodded and let him lead them to a crypt that was standing right in front of them. It looked like a small chapel and one could see the names of the ones buried inside only through an iron fence. He didn't say anything and neither did he step away from Michelle. He just stood there and looked inside, seemed to be deep in thought. Cam and Michelle saw that the inside of the open chapel was decorated with lots of exotic flowers.
"In loving memory of Michael Stanley Hodgins June 1936- December 1993 and Elin Lisbeth Hodgins October 1950- December 1993- Requiescant in pace." The latest and most decorated inscription said and upon reading it Cam walked over to Hodgins other side and took his hand in hers. He sighed deeply and then looked up, gave them both a shaky smile.
"I think we should leave. I don't think our parents would want us to spend our Christmas here of all places," he said and this time they walked directly to their cars.
"He was only two years older than me when he lost his parents," Michelle said as she and Cam drove back to their place.
"I know," Cam replied, still deeply affected by their morning at the cemetery.
"What happened?" Michelle wanted to know.
"Car crash a few days before Christmas. Icy roads...." she trailed off.
"Did he have anyone to look after him?" the teen asked.
"No, he didn't. He's been alone ever since," Cam replied with a sigh.
"Poor Dr. H.," Michelle just said and Cam nodded, suddenly feeling like she had abandoned him.
In a much lighter mood they all met at Brenna's place that night to celebrate Christmas Eve.
"What happened to the 'down with Christmas, let's hump like bunnies' thing?" Cam asked Sweets while Daisy and Michelle were standing directly next to them. She had told the anecdote to Michelle already anyway, so she didn't even flinch now.
"I'm not here for baby Jesus; I'm here for Agent Booth," Sweets replied.
"Ah, that explains the antlers," Cam grinned.
"It was a moment of whimsy," the young psychologist replied.
"They look good on you, Dr. Sweets," Michelle complimented.
"Thank you," Sweets replied with a smile.
Hodgins had been watching them from across the room and decided to get himself some eggnog. He felt creepy watching her, yet he hadn't seen her like this in over a month. She seemed relaxed, her hair was down and she wore one of the soft sweaters that made her look even more beautiful. He was just pouring himself a cup when Angela walked up to him.
"Hey," they greeted each other and Hodgins handed her a cup.
"Thanks. So you think that we should feel like big, giant losers that we're not spending Christmas with family?" she asked him and the question sounded strange to him. He hadn't told her about his problems with Cam and he suspected that neither had Cam. What was she getting at, he wondered.
"There's more than one kind of family," he replied with a smile and glanced over to where Cam and Michelle were standing.
"Merry Christmas, Hodgins," Angela smiled back and they clicked their glasses against each other.
"Merry Christmas, Angela," he replied and they both took a sip of their eggnog. "Let's go and join the others?" he asked her.
"Sure, just one quick question... and I don't mean to intrude or anything, but we're friends and as a friend I just need to ask: Are you and Cam alright? I couldn't help but notice some... tension. And not the good kind," she said quietly and made him sigh.
"I hope we will be Ange, that's all I can say right now," he told her honestly.
"If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me," she replied and placed a hand on his arm. "More than one kind of family, remember," she smiled and he nodded. With this silent agreement they joined Cam, Michelle, Sweets and Daisy, who were all waiting for dinner.
It was late when they all left and in the end there were only Hodgins, Cam and Michelle left in the dark parking space beside Brennan's house. Angela, Sweets, Daisy and Booth had all already driven off, after saying goodbye and wishing them a Merry Christmas.
"When will you leave?" Cam asked him and stuck her hands in the pockets of her jacket.
"Early morning. My flight leaves at 5 am, so I'll probably leave around three," he said and mirrored her stance. An uncomfortable silence started when they just looked at each other for a moment.
"Merry Christmas Dr. Hodgins," Michelle was the one to break it and hugged him. He hugged her back and was surprised when she placed a kiss on his cheek.
"Merry Christmas Michelle," he said before they stepped back. "Enjoy your presents and don't eat too much candy," he added with a smile.
"And you don't break anything," she told him.
"I'll pay attention. Greet Perry for me as well," he added, remembering her boyfriend fondly.
"Cam, if you give me the key I'll wait in the car," Michelle said then and held her hand out for the car key. She obviously didn't want to witness the scene that would surely be following. Cam dug it out of her handbag and they both watched Michelle walk off to the car. She waved at Hodgins, who waved back and then got into the vehicle.
"I'm happy for you that Michelle will be around for Christmas," he said when Cam finally looked at him again.
"Yeah, me too. I'm relieved she took it so well," she replied. Michelle had talked to Hodgins most of the evening and she had already told him that Cam had decided at the last minute that she wouldn't let her go.
"Have a Merry Christmas you two," he said finally and with a sad little smile.
"You, too, Jack," she said and even in the darkness he saw her chin and lips quivering as she tried to hold back the tears.
"Come here," he said and wrapped his arms around her a second later. She returned the hug and placed her head on his shoulder.
"Take care, ok? Don't ski while you're drunk and don't break anything," Cam said after a while and raised her head to look at him.
"And you take your medication and let Michelle drive after you meet your family," he replied and tried a little smile.
"I miss you, Jack," she said and placed a hand on his cheek, caressing him with her thumb.
"I miss you, too. We'll talk when I get back," he said and allowed himself to bury one hand in her long curls.
"Is it ok if I call you on New Year's Eve?" she wanted to know, because the thought had occurred to her earlier that day.
"I'll be waiting for it," he smiled and pulled her close by her waist. They both kept looking into each other's eyes while their faces neared, but when their lips touched they had to close them in reaction to the torrent of emotions that suddenly rushed through them. For the first time in weeks they both felt whole again and realized that the magic between them was probably stronger than ever. They deepened the kiss and clung to each other like their life depended on it. Jack tried to find a way to sneak his hand beneath her coat and get at least a touch of her warm skin, but the jacket she wore didn't allow it. They broke apart when the need for oxygen made them and even then they rested their foreheads against each other and enjoyed the closeness they had denied themselves for over a month. The white puffs of their breath danced in between their faces.
"Take care, babe," he finally sighed and stepped back from her. He knew he had to leave as long as he was still able to or he would fall to his knees and beg her to let him stay with her for the holidays at least.
"Call when you arrive so I know you're alright," she said, and pecked his lips one last time before she walked over to her car with a last wave. Hodgins remained standing in the parking lot until the backlights of her BMW weren't visible any more. Then he walked to his own car and drove home to get his bags.
TBC