Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Heroes
Paralogues 101 AKA: Incest Emblem
Everybody who knew Sharena knew she wanted to befriend as many heroes as possible. It was endearing to the heroes who liked the attention, but other heroes would warn each other to stay away lest she talk their ear off.
It was almost karmic then, that she wound up running into Jaffar, as the quiet assassin wanted nothing else to do than stay alert to repel enemy assassins that never came. Jaffar turned his hooded head to the golden armored princess. Sharena came up to him and bowed, before asking him his name. Jaffar never really got the hang of any kind of social conversation from his world (as he was an assassin there since he was a kid blah blah blah just play Blazing Sword/Fire Emblem USA first release/Fire Emblem 7 for you hardcore fans/Rekka no Ken for all you weeaboos).
The conversation between them wasn't really a conversation as much as it was Jaffar grunting, or giving one word answers to the vibrant princess. Sharena felt defeated because she wanted to get along with every hero there and the assassins, serious ones, or mercenaries really were the hardest to approach with a smile and a hello. She'd already had pretty bad run-ins with Saizo (who wanted nothing to do with her) and Raven (who left after Sharena promptly asked him if he'd seen his sister around). So Jaffar was kind of a proverbial strike three for Sharena even though that whole three strike system wasn't really commonly known in Askr since they didn't play baseball.
"Strike three, huh?" Kiran asked to a sulking Sharena, who of course didn't really understand what he meant.
"Hmmmm." She groaned. "I wish that those more stoic heroes would talk to me. Even if it's a small conversation." She gave a sigh and looked to the summoner. "Any ideas, Kiran?" She asked.
Kiran gave a groan but then chuckled a bit. "Weeeeell what if I force you on a team with the edgelords? Do some teambuilding. It would do them all good than just brood around all the time." Kiran beamed.
Sharena beamed right back. Even if she didn't know what an 'edgelord' was. "You'd do that for me?! But why?" She asked him.
"Welllllll." Kiran seemed to think for a bit. "You were the first friend I made in Askr." Kiran said. "Also I feel like all the heroes here would rather follow you. I'm not the most confident commander. No offense to your brother, but Alfonse is a bit of a stuffed shirt and kind of superfluous since we summoned Marth and Chrom (Alfonse who was minding his own business suddenly slumped over as he overheard Kiran). And all Anna really cares about is money and if everyone puts in their pound of flesh. Just purely professional stuff. But you? You're happy to help out! You help Nino read books, show everybody around, including me who always gets lost, are patient with other customs, and even shooed Tharja away when she was watching me sleep. And Robin sleep. And whoever else she - ."
Kiran trailed off for a moment.
"The point is, you go out of your way to be kind when you don't have to and it speaks a lot." So. For today you will be leading the strike force against Embla's next target. Pick your team and I'll leave you in charge. I have to attend to training some of the Grand Heroes today, otherwise they'll not get along with anybody and I don't want Ursula striking anybody else with bolting this week."
Sharena beamed. "I'll start right away! I'm honored you're letting me handle this important mission!" She said with a bow.
"Alfonse! To me!" She yelled dramatically.
Alfonse walked into view and coughed. "Stuffed Shirt reporting for duty." He said, staring at Kiran. "What services do you require, sister?" He asked sarcastically.
Sharena was happy to answer. "Well Kiran says we need to train the bladekings to fight Embl- "
"No, it's called an 'edgelord'." Kiran corrected. "That's when all a person does is scowl and sound tough and talk about death and blood all the time. Brooding assholes, the lot of them." He said, waving around his hands for emphasis.
"Anyway keep in mind that this is a Paralogue so it's not something I need done NOW or anything like that. It's Just a good way to get some orbs and "This time Sharena cut Kiran off.
"Well I'm going to complete the task anyway. Let's go, brother!" She said, before she looked around for other heroes. "Hmm. Edgelords. So like Michalis?" She asked.
"Yes he counts." Kiran said. "But he's also a Grand Hero and I don't think he knows what teamwork is. Try a hero we didn't have to fight to recruit." Kiran suggested.
Alfonse sighed. "Just don't take all day, Sis." He said.
The map appeared in front of her – a burning maze of ash and veins of lava - and Sharena could make out two royal pairs of siblings, first from the Sacred World it was Ephraim and Eirika, twins with sibling weapons and matching blue hair, as they were twins. The next pair of twins were Seliph and Julia, half siblings from the world of Genealogy.
"Here you are at last. We've been waiting for you. It seems that your sibling bond is strong indeed-" Ephraim said.
He pointed to Sharena and Alfonse with his spear while he was talking. "- But it cannot be as strong as the one that binds Eirika and me. Ours is so strong that some fools dare spread lies about us. Disgusting." Ephraim said, glaring at the quartet.
"That must be that incest thing Kiran mentioned." Sharena whispered offhandedly to no one in particular.
His sister Eirika responded, "Ephraim, please. They want to battle, not hear you rant." She said, wagging a finger in his face before she stopped and faced Sharena. "Apologies again. Now, will you break that contract that binds us? Let's find out."
Sharena was in awe of the twins. Apparently Veronica had targeted specific sets of twins believing they'd fight harder since they were protecting a loved one. She could see for herself that Seliph was consoling Julia even as he looked to Sharena and her team, hand on the hilt of the Tierfang.
"Julia, remember I'll never leave your side again. Nothing will separate us." He said strongly as he embraced Julia with his free hand."
Julia's eyes widened and shimmered "Oh Seliph. What would I do without you?" She said, returning the embrace. Sharena felt – weird – seeing them hold each other like that. Almost as though they were lovers. But maybe she was looking into it too hard. After all, Camilla tended to trap people in a steel trap of a hug when she got to know them (Sharena knew from experience) so maybe it was just a Jugdral custom or whatever.
"We should strike now." Jaffar said, bluntly, unsheathing his Deadly Daggers (wishing they were his trademark Killing Edges from Blazing Sword), staring at Julia for the most effective point of damage.
"No Jaffar, that's dishonorable!" Sharena yelled. "Besides you'll ruin the sibling love we see before us."
Sharena held up a finger and glared at Jaffar. Behind the assassin, Raven did all he could not to sigh while Alfonse grumbled "idiocy".
Of course the squabble caught the enemy's attention.
"Hey you! If you're going to fight us, you'd best be prepared!" Ephraim said as he took some confident steps towards the four heroes, his concerned sister following.
"Way to go, sunshine." Raven grumbled to Sharena, readying his Brave Axe as Alfonse brandished his blade, Folkvangr.
Ephraim scowled as he gripped his flame lance. "Seliph, Julia. Try not to fall behind."
Jaffar sighed and ran ahead of the group, throwing both daggers and striking Ephraim's legs. The lord, however, didn't stop as Siegmund met Jaffar's chest, knocking the assassin backwards across the molten rocks.
"Brother! I'm on my way!" Eirika yelled as she raised her twin weapon Sieglinde, the blade's edge crackling with electricity as she advanced, thundersword in hand.
"Sister versus sister! This should be fun!" Sharena declared as she leapt in front of Eirika, her lance blocking Eirika's strike.
Meanwhile, Seliph was able to take on Alfonse blade to blade while Raven had to hang back and wait for his own opening. The only problem was Julia, whose divine Naga tome had conjured a literal dragon, gigantic, serpentine, and made of translucent gold, which would make taking her down quite the chore.
"You won't hurt Seliph!" Julia roared as the Naga dragon descended upon Alfonse, knocking him away as the golden dragon passed through him. He was critically damaged as his armor began to chip and break and his robes showed signs of wear and tear.
Jaffar leapt in front of Seliph and threw his deadly daggers at the blue haired lord, both weapons' poison splashing all over Seliph and Julia as they both took damage and got debuffed (Jaffar also had inherited Poison Strike and Savage Blow).
Seliph stood back up, damaged but not beaten. He rushed at Jaffar, and caused a wardrobe malfunction for the Black Fang assassin as Tierfang cleaved cuts through Jaffar's attire, knocking him into the 'almost dead' zone. Jaffar glanced up to Julia, her hands moving to cast another Naga dragon when Jaffar shone red, Vantage and Glimmer triggering consecutively as Julia caught a dagger with her face, knocking her out.
"JULIA!" Seliph roared as he tried to swing at Jaffar, but was blocked by Alfonse.
"Face me, Prince Seliph!" Alfonse declared, pushing back Tierfang's blade with Folkfangr's own.
Alfonse felt he had the advantage as his innate Death Blow made his attacks stronger. Seliph was good at taking punishment, but the splash damage he took earlier from Jaffar meant he was overwhelmed by Alfonse's strength.
"Well done, Prince of Askr." Seliph said as Tierfang flew from his hand. He gave a proud glare to Alfonse as Seliph vanished into thin air.
Raven turned to focus on Ephraim, barely jumping in front of Jaffar and taking the force of Siegmund. Ironic, Raven thought as he fought against another older brother.
"My sister would have begged to be part of this." Raven grumbled as he lunged in and got two hits in on Ephraim with his Brave Axe.
"Heh. Is she pretty?" Ephraim said as he twirled Siegmund around, striking Raven in the head. Raven staggered back and felt the blood and adrenaline really start to pump.
Raven parried some thrusts with his axe. "I wouldn't know. She's my little sister. That's it." Raven said. It was true. Despite how Priscilla felt about it, he'd always see her as his kid sister. Ephraim looked a bit disappointed, but still gave a chuckle as he stepped back and rose his lance.
"Eirika's not like anyone else I know." He said, momentarily ceasing his attack (While still keeping Raven at bay, pointing Siegmund directly at him) to look at his sister in combat with Sharena.
"She's got a strong will AND a strong heart. Yeah people say I did a lot when I "conquered Grado by myself" but she inspires people. And she's a better politician than I can ever hope to be. After the war she'll be the key figure in keeping everything from going to the wayside." Ephraim was proud of her, clearly.
"And what of your sister, sir?" He asked the axe fighter.
"it's Raven. Not sir." Raven said, mentally noting that he'd had to do that the second time this week, and then continued. "Priscilla. . . we separated when we were younger but she was always sweet. Always worried about people she shouldn't concern herself with. Now she just wants to help out those she can. Vagabonds, drifters, idiot Lycian knights. She actually saved me, you know? I swore revenge on a man, but seeing her on the opposing side made me change my priorities. I decided I'd be with her. It's the least I can do. She's all the blood family I have left."
Ephraim smiled. "Well Raven, may the best brother win."
Raven scoffed. "That has nothing to do with this."
Then Ephraim yelled in shock, falling forward as Jaffar's deathly daggers hit him in the back, causing him to vanish from the map.
Meanwhile Sharena and Eirika were still going at it, both fast enough to keep up with the other. Sharena frowned as she found it hard to breathe now since they were fighting in a molten hellscape.
"Very impressive, Princess Eirika." She managed. "You're keeping up with me despite my weapon advantage." She said. "I admire that."
"Thank you Princess Sharena." Eirika said. "Sparring with my brother gave me the experience I needed to keep up with you." She grinned. "I wish your brother was still here. I'd love to see him clash with Ephraim."
Sharena thrusted at Eirika. It was just to keep her on her toes and both of them sharp.
"Still, I'd rather you be allied with us." Sharena said. "It always stinks fighting those you know could be such wonderful friends." She managed to pant despite the sulfur fumes.
"Indeed I agree. But let us not fret. If you break this contract, you may summon us yet." Eirika said, lunging at Sharena once she finished, Sieglinde barely missing the other princess, blade sparking with lightning as Eirika passed by her with her lunge.
Sharena waited for Eirika to turn back around before charging with her shield raised, the Askrian crest taking the hit from Sieglinde as Fensalir found its mark. Eirika looked down at the point of impact, surprised as she vanished from the map. Then the pair of twins appeared before them again as the usual STAGE COMPLETE letters appeared above them all.
Ephraim was shaken and a little surprised. "Defeated? I can't believe it." He looked to his sister. "I'm... I'm sorry, Eirika. My pride got the best of me. And my lance usually serves me better, but this time. . ." He trailed off as his sister spoke up.
"Brother, your pride might blind you from time to time, but it's my fault that we lost. I'm not as strong as you are, so you had to make up for my lapses in battle. I'm sorry." She clutched Ephraim's free hand with her own and shook her head in shame.
Sharena looked to Alfonse and raised an eyebrow. "From where I'm standing she did just as much." Sharena whispered.
Ephraim gave a sigh and turned to his sister. "Sure I watch out for you in battle, Eirika, but it's not your fault. I'm just your older brother! I've been watching out for you ever since before we were born..." He trailed off again, moving his hand to stroke her face. To this she stuck her tongue out at him and made a face.
Seliph saw the awkward situation and spoke up to redirect everyone's attention. "Pardon me. May I interrupt? Travelers, we must all thank you, for now we are finally free to return to our worlds." He beamed and nodded to Alfonse, and with some reluctance, Jaffar.
"If ever we meet again...you must let us repay...your kindness." Julia added.
Ephraim was quick to come back into the conversation. "Right. And if we do meet again, I want another chance to test my lance against you people. Eirika, you and I are going to double our usual training as soon as we get home." He spoke up as though it was a fact and to this Eirika giggled.
"Oh, Ephraim. These good people will hopefully be our allies, not just your sparring partners. Now, good-bye to all of you. I do hope we meet again—and in the best of ways." She said, her voice getting fainter as mist enveloped the barren cavern they all were in. The sibling team vanished and the portal to Askr opened.
Sharena gave Kiran an energetic high five as she began telling the summoner about the battle. "Oh Kiran, you should go next time! I had a really close fight with Eirika! And I got to see the strength of family bonds." She said, practically waxing poetic about their foes' siblinghood.
Jaffar gave his trademark "…" before departing.
Raven rolled his eyes and looked to Kiran. "I'm leaving now that that's over. "
Kiran found himself facing Sharena and Alfonse. "Well what it is?" He asked them.
"Can you explain this incest thing? During the battle I felt that both Magvel and Jugdral siblings were really close. Maybe even too much." Sharena said, looking confused.
Kiran sighed. "Well unfortunately for The Jugdral twins that's not really their fault as it is their parents'. For the Magvel twins yeah, I got nothing." He said.
Then he looked at the siblings, who were still confused.
"Alright then, gathered Askr nobles. Let me recite the tale of Incest Emblem." Kiran said dramatically.
Author's note: When researching the twins' lines from the paralogue I forgot that Ephraim talked so highly of himself. It really was kind of annoying how he diminished Eirika's role there since I remember her giving me just as much grief there. Also big thanks to SolidShinji 104 for your comments on some of my chapters. In regards to Sheena, yeah she's a great budget axe knight and her merge potential does let her outshine Hector if you're not a whale. I'm trying to save all my Sheena now because she's a worthy +10 unit. There's one an ally has in my Grand Conquest who is plus 10 merged with Distant Counter and Vengeful Fighter and she destroys GC maps very consistently. Scary stuff. Anyway who knows what the next chapter will be but I'm glad this story is being read. Thanks people.