A/N: Happy Saturday, my lovelies. I hope you're all having a great weekend so far.

I really hope you enjoy this chapter. More coming soon!

Much Love,

Chelsea xx

Lavendarjade – Thank you! I hope you like this chapter too. Much Love x

Reds77 – Thank you! Ana's reaction was purely instinct. It was a fight or flight moment and she chose the latter. Thinking she was back in the club, she needed to run and get as far away from it as possible. Luckily, Christian will always be close to hand! I hope you like this chapter! Much Love x

Susan – Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. I hope you enjoy this one too. Much Love x

SuzB – Thank you! Ana's in a very fragile place right now, which Christian seems to have realised all along. Luckily Ana does have Rhian on hand to rely on for additional support. She needs all the help she can get right now. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Much Love x

DoloresDeeHowe – Thank you! Don't worry about Ana, she has Christian hot on her heels! Much Love x

Iamdbomangmail – Thank you! I'm sure that in time Ana will be okay. Despite the way she feels right now, she is a tough cookie! Much Love x

Pain built in my chest as I stormed along the street, a fire raging from my throat to my stomach, burning with every sharp intake of breath.

"Ana!"

I reached the edge of the sidewalk and was about to step out when I felt Christian's hand curl around my wrist.

"Stop –"

His lips brushed my temple as he pulled me into his chest. I crashed against him, his arms enveloping me and holding me tight.

"I've got you," he promised, keeping his voice steady and low. He was breathing heavily, having chased after me for god knows how long. "I'm here."

"I c-can't…"

"I'm here," he repeated. He pressed a kiss against my forehead. "You're safe."

I sank into his arms, unable to hold up my own weight. My knees buckled as a tingling sensation spread through my hands and feet.

His grip tightened, keeping me upright and flush with his body.

"Let's get off the street," he muttered.

I let him guide me away from the edge of the sidewalk, the fight slipping away from me at rapid speed.

Christian walked me towards the nearest building and eased me through the entrance. My face remained buried in his chest until he lowered me into a chair and slowly backed away. I opened my eyes and stared all around me. We were in a moderately sized coffee house, the smell of roasting beans infiltrating my nose, forcing the scent of burning flesh and charcoal from my mind.

I began to shift uncomfortably in my seat. Christian had led us to a small corner of the café, away from prying eyes and affording us some semblance of privacy.

He pulled a chair up to mine, sticking close.

"You're safe," he assured me, taking my hands between his and warming them. "Just look at me."

I stared into his grey eyes and tried to slow my breaths, trying to push out more air than I was sucking in. It took what felt like an eternity for me to let the tension in my shoulders subside.

I kept my eyes on Christian while a teenage boy came over to us and asked for our order. Christian was polite but curt, asking for a pot of tea and a black coffee, dismissing the boy as soon as possible.

Christian pressed his lips together, his throat bobbing hard.

"You ran away from me," he whispered, his voice laden with gravel.

"I-I had to get out," I stammered. My tongue felt too large for my mouth, my throat too dry. "I was there again… I c-could feel it…"

His brows lowered around his eyes.

"I had to get out of there," I shook my head. "I didn't want to get trapped again."

"You thought you were back in the club?"

I nodded and dropped my head forward. My chin began to tremble.

"Ana," Christian sighed. He peeled his right hand from mine and tucked his fingers under my chin, easing my head up. "You shouldn't have run away. I'm here for you. You're safe now."

"I had to get away from –"

"Me?" he asked, worry etching into his gaze.

"No," I shook my head. "Not you. Never you…"

He studied my face and then nodded, understanding why and who I was escaping.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"She's one of them, isn't she?"

He gave me a single nod.

I let out a short burst of air.

"Please don't punish me for having a past," he begged. His eyes fell to our fingers, mine still hiding under his left hand. "I'm not proud of my past, but I can't change the fact I wasted time on people who meant nothing to me."

"W-What?"

"If I had known you were out there, I wouldn't have wasted a single second on other women," he urged. He shook his head and grimaced. "I would have waited for you."

"That's not what I meant," I muttered.

He raised his head and met my gaze. His face was mixed with concern and dread, and it made my stomach twist into an even harder knot.

"It's not what you did with her," I said. "That's not the reason… It's who she looks like. I saw her and I thought of -"

I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from crying.

"Leila," Christian said, making the connection. He sighed. "They do look alike. More so than any of the others."

Christian had confided in me months ago about why his submissives all looked similar – why they were all pale-skinned brunettes. But Leila and Amber were near identical to each other. It was like looking at Leila's twin.

Was that the reason she hooked Leila and Christian up? Because she looked like the last woman she had introduced Christian to?

"I panicked," I blurted. "I saw Leila in my mind and I was right there again. I just panicked… I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologise to me," he sighed.

He edged forward on his seat and nuzzled the tip of his nose against mine.

"I could hear her voice," I said, my voice shaky and as weak as I felt.

"Leila's?"

I shook my head.

"You heard her?" he checked, a frown consuming his features. "What do you mean?"

"What she said to me before the fire… I heard her say it again."

I licked my lips. Tears started to build in my eyes and I couldn't stop them from falling.

"She's in my head," I croaked. "She's in my head and I can't get rid of her."

"Just take a deep breath, okay –"

"She's always right there," I snapped, slipping my hand out from under his and jabbing my fingers against my temple. "I just want to forget her. I don't want to be reminded of her every day!"

"Ana –"

"She introduced you and that woman, didn't she? Amber?"

He paused for a second and then nodded. He leaned back in his chair as the waiter brought our drinks over and set them down on the table.

"When?" I asked once we were alone again.

"About three years ago?" he shrugged. "I don't remember the exact time frame."

"How long did it last?"

"What?"

"You and her. How long did your contract last?"

"A year."

He held my gaze and waited for me to respond. But I didn't have anything to say. I don't know why I even asked that question. I didn't care how long it lasted. I didn't care about his submissives. They are his past, not his future.

"None of this is important," he said. "You know that what I had with those women was purely physical. It was about control, nothing more."

"I know," I sighed.

"There was no emotion in it for me," he continued. "It was a business transaction, that's all."

His stare was unyielding. He hardly even blinked, his eyes never shifting off my own.

"What we have together, it means so much more to me that what I had with those women," he promised. "Jesus, it makes my fucking skin crawl thinking about being with anyone but you."

"Do you think about them?"

"Never," he shook his head.

I was relieved to hear that.

"Before the fire," I began. I was wary of saying this to him. I hadn't revealed this to anyone. "When I was tied up… She told me I was just like them. She said that I was just another woman you would use and then leave."

"Tell me you don't believe that?" he begged. "You can't possibly think that's true?"

I shook my head. "That's what I heard her say in the store, in my head… She said she was going to enjoy it. Watching me…"

"Don't say it," he grimaced, slamming his eyes shut. "I don't want to think about that. I can't bear the idea of what could have happened to you."

"That woman thought I was one of your subs," I muttered.

"I set her straight," he said. "You don't need to worry about Amber. She's a narcissistic bitch who thinks she's better than she is. We'll never have to deal with her again."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'll have Taylor remind her of the rules," he replied. "I'll make sure he contacts the others and reminds them too. Amber knows the deal. None of them are allowed to contact me. None of them are allowed to talk about me to anyone else."

"The NDAs," I nodded.

"That was one way I protected myself."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I have other measures in place to make sure they don't reveal anything to the press," he elaborated.

"What kind of measures?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," I shot back.

He stared at me, unwilling to answer my question, but when I didn't budge he let out a long sigh. He pushed his fingers back through his hair.

"I have photographs of them."

"W-What?"

"It's leverage," he gulped. "I took photographs of them in my playroom."

I slammed my hand over my mouth as I dry-heaved.

I knew in an instant that she would have told him to do that. She was a voyeur. She had rooms in her club for people to watch other couples having sex. She was a pervert.

She was a monster.

"If they threaten to sell a story, I'll release the photographs," he added. "It's collateral."

"Where are they? The pictures?"

"On a hard-drive in my safe." He hesitated. "And no, I don't look at them."

"I believe you," I admitted.

"Do you?" he asked. "Do you believe what that bitch told you? That you mean nothing to me?"

"No," I shook my head. "I know you love me."

"Then don't let her get inside your head and try to convince you otherwise," he urged. "Baby, she's dead. She can't hurt you anymore."

"You definitely saw her body?" I whispered. "It was definitely her?"

"One hundred percent," he nodded. "It was her. She is dead."

Another bout of tears trickled down my cheeks. He tried to wipe them away but it was futile. I couldn't stop the stream.

"I don't want her in my head," I cried. "I don't want to think about her. I don't want to feel this way."

"I know, baby."

"I just want to be normal again."

"I wish I could magic you better," he said. He brought his head close to mine, his lips kissing their way across my forehead. "I wish I could take away all of your pain."

"I'm going crazy, aren't I?"

"No. You're not crazy. You won't feel like this forever. I promise you, you will overcome this."

"I don't think I will," I shook my head.

He cupped his hand around my jaw and tilted my chin up so I had nowhere to look but into his eyes.

"There will come a day when you won't feel like this," he told me in a careful, steady tone. "There will come a time when you won't be scared of her."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he nodded. "If I can move past the fear, you can too."

"What do you mean?" I sniffed.

"My past," he muttered. "What happened when I was a kid… It doesn't scare me anymore. It doesn't leave me wanting to tear my skin apart like it used to. I don't relive those nightmares every day. They can't hurt me anymore and I won't let the memories of what they did destroy me."

I wished that was the same for me. But my nightmares were still too fresh, still too close for comfort.

Christian has fought hard to overcome his past. Surely if he can do it, anyone can?

Why are you even comparing yourself to what he's been through? The snide voice in the back of my head made a rude appearance. What Christian went through was a real trauma, he sustained years of abuse. You were only in that stupid building for an hour, stop being such a pathetic mess…

"You will beat this," he promised. He rolled his thumb across my lower lip. "I know you will. You are the strongest person I know."

"I'm not strong," I shook my head.

"You are," he said firmly. "You are amazing. I am in awe of you."

"Why?" I frowned. "Any time I see something that reminds me of that day, I freak out. You know I do."

Whilst my night terrors had ended long ago, this wasn't the first time I had been crumbled to an emotional wreck by something ridiculous. This wasn't the first time Christian had needed to prop me up. I have freaked out over seeing a burning building on the television, I have panicked at the sound of a woman screaming or the smell of burnt toast.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. I should be the one apologising to you. You didn't deserve any of this."

"I just want to forget everything… I just want this to be over."

He sat quietly, holding me close to him as I took a moment for myself. He shuffled closer to me and I rested my forehead against his chest. His hands moved up and down my back, gently stroking me.

I raised my head and pressed my mouth to his.

"Help me forget," I breathed, my kiss becoming more frantic and urgent. I worked my fingers through his hair. "Please, help me forget."

He softened into my kiss for a second before pulling his head away.

"Christian –"

"Why don't we finish our drinks and then we can head home?" he suggested.

I felt my heart sink into my feet.

"I need you," I told him, forcing my lips to his again.

"You've got me –"

"I need you now," I urged.

I could tell by his reservation that he wasn't going to give in to me. I stared him in the eye and shook my head.

"I'll take you home," he said.

"What's happened to us?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You don't want me like that anymore," I whispered, lowering my gaze to my fingers. The back of my eyes began to sting again. "It's not the same anymore."

"Ana…"

"I miss that side of you," I said. "I miss my carefree Christian… She's taken you from me."

He opened his mouth to protest but silenced himself when I raised my eyes to his.

"You won't touch me unless we're in bed," I told him. "You hold back from me when we're together. When we're being intimate, I can see you're holding back… You're too gentle with me."

"Ana, I make love to you," he sighed. "I worship you."

I looked up at the ceiling, trying to best word what had been bugging me for the longest time. Since I first realised just how tentative he was being in the bedroom department.

"I love it when you take your time and you're being attentive," I assured him. "I do. I love that side of you."

"But?"

"I miss the rough and ready man I initially fell for," I shook my head. "I miss the Christian who would have me anywhere, anytime. The Christian who would push me against a wall and leave me breathless."

He clenched his jaw.

"You've changed since the fire," I told him. "When we're in the throes, you don't let yourself go. It's almost like you don't enjoy it."

"I do," he promised, narrowing his eyes at me. "Ana, every moment with you brings me nothing but immense pleasure."

"Why are you different with me now?"

"I don't want to hurt you," he revealed, licking his lips nervously.

"What?" I tilted my head, confused. "You're scared of hurting me?"

"After everything you've been through, I can't bring myself to ever cause you harm," he shook his head. "I almost lost you in that club."

"But you've never hurt me," I said. I lowered my voice. "Least of all when we've had sex."

"What if I trigger you in some way?" he huffed. "You said yourself, anything can upset you. What if I'm too rough and you start to panic? Ana, it would kill me if I was the reason you got upset. I just can't do that to you."

"You can't break me," I told him. "I know I'm putting you through hell at the moment. It's confusing for me, but I have no idea how it must feel from where you're sitting -"

"You're not putting me through anything," he rejected my claim in an instant. "I want to help you through this. I want to be by your side, every minute of every day… But I'll never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you."

"The only way you could ever hurt me is if you stop loving me," I said plainly.

"That's never going to happen," he replied. "Never."

I pressed my head close to his and closed my eyes, breathing in his familiar scent.

"I don't want to be inside my own head anymore," I whispered. "I want to switch it off."

"I know you do, baby."

"Help me forget," I pleaded. "When I'm with you, I can't think about anything else. I need to be consumed by you."

"Ana –"

"I need you," I breathed. "I need all of you. I need to know I haven't lost you as well as the old me."

"Christian…"

His name escaped in a heady moan as his lips sucked at the base of my throat. He pushed me against the door, his hands gripping the back of my thighs as he lifted me off the ground.

"I've missed this too," he breathed into my collarbone. "I've missed this so much… I didn't want to push you… I didn't want to take advantage of you…"

I squeezed my eyes shut, fearful of another batch of tears making an appearance. I didn't think I had it in me to cry anymore today.

After settling our bill, Christian had took me by the hand and led me to the rear of the coffee house. He had glanced over his shoulder before bundling me into the staff only restroom, locking the door behind us.

He had that glint in his eyes again. The spark was back and brighter than ever.

"Promise me," he panted. He raised his head and stared up at me, his eyes rich with pleading. "Promise me you will tell me to stop if I'm too rough."

"I promise," I nodded. I cupped his jaw between my palms and smothered his mouth with wet kisses. "I promise, baby."

He pushed his right hand between our hips and tugged hard on his zipper. Before I could register the sound of it, he was easing into me. I gasped as he filled me to the hilt, burying every inch of him inside me. I hooked my ankles around his thighs, pressing all of my weight into the hard wood behind me.

"You're the only one I want," Christian groaned. He grinded his hips into mine, deep and slow until I relaxed around him. "You're the only one I've ever wanted… It's always been you, Ana. It's only ever been you."

His tongue darted across my lips, licking up the sweet moans of pleasure that were bursting me from.

"We haven't lost anything, baby," he promised. He picked up his pace, taking me faster. "No one can take this from us… No one –"

"Oh fuck…"

"That's it –"

"Christian…"

"I'm here," he purred. "I love you so much. So fucking much."

I tugged on the small curls at the nape of his neck, pulling his head back until I held his gaze.

"You're mine," I told him. "And I'm yours."

"Always," he nodded.

I found my release, pleasure budding between my thighs and quickly firing its way up through my core. I thumped my head back against the door as spasms tore through me. In just a few euphoric seconds I felt the darkness ebb away, my mind clearing, my heart softening.

Christian intensified his thrusts, pounding a few more times before he shuddered against me. He groaned my name, his forehead resting against my shoulder as he poured himself into me, claiming me as his one and only.

"I love you," I panted, finding his lips again. "Thank you."

"Don't ever thank me for loving you," he whispered. "I should be thanking you… You saved me…"

"Christian –"

"And I'm going to save you from this nightmare," he said, cutting me off with another kiss. "I don't know how, but I will… I'll catch you if you fall. I'll love you until there is no air left in my body."

I pressed my forehead to his and let his words sink into my tired, heavy body.

He knew what I needed, if even I didn't know it for myself. He understood me better than anyone in this world. He was my protector and I knew that he would never hurt me, in any sense of the word. He had only my best interests at heart.