Chapter Ten

Bella's POV:

"You're wearing makeup." Sophie tapped my shoulder as she walked over to Pepper and I where we were standing by our lockers.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Your point?" My voice had a snotty edge to it and I saw that Sophie noticed it. Her eyebrows drew together in a concerned look.

"I told her that next time she should use less." Pepper explained to Sophie. Sophie nodded but kept giving me weird looks. "Well I should be going." Pepper looked at her watch. "Have fun in Chemistry." She waved to us and hurried off down the hall.

"Ready?" Sophie asked and checked her phone for the time.

"I guess so." I sighed, right as Sawyer walked around the corner.

"Bella!" he called when he saw me. I mentally groaned. No. I didn't want questions about why I had canceled our plans.

"Hey." I waved weakly.

"Hey." He was breathing heavily as he walked over to us. "I needed to talk to you."

"Look, Sophie and I are about to be late." I gestured behind me.

"I'll make up something to tell Mr. Gainsworth." Sophie nodded and turned to leave. Thanks a lot, Sophie.

"So dare I ask again why you canceled our plans?" he look completely terrified of what I might do. Like I'd start swinging on him or something.

"No, you don't dare." I muttered.

"Come on, Bella. I know you weren't sick."

"Just mind your own business." I growled harshly. I saw his eyes widen a bit. What had I become? But I mean, what else was I supposed to do? It was the whole 'fight or flight' thing. I had to protect myself. I had to keep everyone out of my business, not reveal anything, and just deal. I was the quarterback! I was fifteen years old! I could handle myself. Sawyer reached up and scratched the back of his head, then cleared his throat.

"I thought you should see this," he sighed and handed me a crumpled paper. I took it gingerly and unfolded it. His name was at the top and a bunch of unfinished math problems lined the page. It was covered in red marks.

"Oh Sawyer." I sighed, my heart melting when I realized that I wasn't the only one with problems. I mentally kicked myself for being so selfish.

"Don't get all sad," he shook his head, "it's nothing new. I just thought I'd show you that I'm obviously a lost cause on the whole math thing."

"You are not a lost cause!" I cried. "If you keep saying that to yourself, it's no wonder you keep getting grades like this. You have to believe you can, before you actually do."

"Bella, some people just don't have the motivation." He shrugged lightly.

"Then why bother showing me this?" I sighed in frustration.

"I'm trying to ask you for more help without getting yelled at. Kind of like you just did." Sawyer looked at me bashfully. "But you haven't seemed like you really want to spend time with us, so I didn't want to make you angry."

"I'm not angry." I sighed and handed him his paper back. Then I gently pushed my hair off my forehead. I didn't need this. I was so tired. Just plain sick of everything. I needed a two year vacation from everyone and everything. But Sawyer was my friend. And he was seriously going to fail if I didn't help him. "Why don't you ask Troy or someone for help?" I asked as a last resort.

"Bella, if you don't want to help me, just say so." He frowned. Oh no. Not now. Not this. He was getting upset. But I wasn't trying to do anything! Just….BLAH!

"No, Sawyer, that's not what I-"

"Bella, I don't know what is going on with you, but whatever it is, you can tell me. It's obviously bothering you."

"No I can't tell you!" I exploded. "You don't understand! You could never understand!"

"Bella, at least tell Sophie or Pepper. We've all been worried about you." He reached out to put his hand on my arm and I back away quickly, thoughts of Kyle flashing through my mind.

"Stop. Don't touch me." I pleaded. He drew his hand back and his eyes shined with concern.

"Ok." He dug his hands into his pockets. "Sorry."

"Look, Sawyer, it's nothing personal." I tried again.

"Are you wearing makeup?" he asked all of a sudden and peered closer at my face. I tried to keep my temper under control. I tried to remind myself that he was only trying to be helpful, he wasn't aware of anything.

"Yes." I mumbled and ducked my head.

"Bella, why are you acting like this? I'm here for you."

"I didn't ask you to be!" I cried. We both fell silent. I couldn't believe I had just said that. I looked down at my feet, tears surfacing in my eyes. I wouldn't let him see me cry.

"I see." His voice was low and tight. "Take care, Bella." He turned and walked briskly down the hall. I watched him go, watched him walk off down the hall, leaving me standing alone in the silent path of lockers. I had to go. Couldn't be left out here for someone to bother me. Someone like Kyle. My body tensed at the thought and I hurried myself to Chemistry.

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As soon as the lunch bell rang I was at my locker. I found my phone and immediately dialed home, praying my mom wasn't at some meeting or out with friends. She picked up at the fourth ring.

"Bella?"

"Hey." I tried to sound sickish.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"I'm not feeling so great." I pretended. "Are you at home?"

"Yeah, just got back from my garden club meeting." I thanked my lucky stars.

"Do you think you could come get me?" I pleaded.

"Of course. I'll be there in ten minutes." She promised and hung up. I was so relieved I felt like falling down on the floor and crying, but instead I began to pack up my books in my backpack and collect my things for home.

"It's lunch, Bella. What's with all the stuff?" Pepper asked as she and Sophie bounced up to me.

"I'm going home." I put a forlorn look on my face. "Don't feel good."

"What did you and Sawyer talk about this morning?" Sophie cut off my pity party. I groaned inwardly.

"Nothing important." I shrugged.

"He seemed pretty upset in Lit class." Sophie crossed her arms.

"I'll talk to you guys later." I shut my locker firmly and made my way to the front office to sign out.