Awakening
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. SM created them and ever since then I've been head over heels in love with Jacob Black/Taylor Lautner thus earning me the title of 'cougar' from my little sister. I'm not old enough to be a cougar. (-_-); But even she has to admit that he is totally cute. Hehehe, *starts thinking of Jake at Bella's prom* so cute with his little tie. But, ahem, anyway uh, yea, there you go.
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My Daddy always told me to never give up and to always keep on fighting. After his death that's all I ever did. Fought with Sam, Paul, Jared, Mom, Seth, hell I even fought with Embry, Quil and Jacob. When I was little those three were like my closest friends ever. But eventually I got tired of fighting them – especially Sam. What was the point of fighting anymore? How can you fight against legends, myths, fate and something so intangible as love?
From that moment on I stopped going against the current of events occurring around me and decided to just go with the flow. Roll with the punches as Jake said. And what happened when I went with the roll? I got knocked the fuck out and landed flat on my face, that's what. When I finally came to and decided to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again I realized that it was too late. I had fallen in love, again. Who did I find standing in front of me with a smile that brightened up my darkest mood and whose arms seemed to fit me just oh so perfectly? But Jacob Ephraim 'wish he'd fuck me' Black. It was so subtle, quiet and silent the love that had grown for Jacob. It was nothing like the love I had for Sam which was obviously nothing more than puppy love, or rather cub love, if we're sticking to the wolf jokes.
I mean, seriously? How da hell did I fall for Jacob Black? The kid who was forced along with me to play tea party with Rachel and Rebecca? The kid who would wait for me after school when I had detention? The kid who gave me the title of 'bitter harpy'? And the kid who imprinted on the Halfling, Reneesme Carlie Cullen? I swore after I got over Sam that I wouldn't fall for any of the wolves simply to avoid that kind of heartache.
But, no~o, Jacob had to be all funny, witty, like-able, lick-able, arrogant, cocky and understanding. And the funny is what hit me. The pack was hanging out over at the Blacks just talking, laughing and just being us. Seth and I had just returned from a trip visiting relatives and it was a welcome home party. He had made a smart mouth comment about my hair which I had cut really short thanks to a bet I lost to Paul. But, somehow or other I wound up pulling his hair which led to a push, which then led to a shove, which then led to me running from his house screaming and laughing as he's chasing after me cursing me all the while. I tried to phase and get away but it's hard to concentrate on anger when you're near tears from laughing so hard. He pinned me down before I could even get a shiver to start and he began tickling me making my escape plan useless. I don't know what I said, I think I was begging him to stop or maybe something about wanting him or needing him to stop. Whatever I said had worked and after I had calmed down enough I opened my eyes and he was kneeling over top of me. His face only inches away from mine and his eyes looked so hard; not like they were cold or uncaring. It was as if he was searching for something and before I could really look and surmise what it was he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. His warm breath felt good on my face and I got goose bumps on my arms. He then did something that surprised me – he kissed me. It wasn't the usual two lovers meet kind of kiss where's there's passion, lust, love and desperation. It was a simple and sweet kiss on my forehead. He simply kissed my forehead and said, 'Welcome home, Lee'. It shocked me and from that moment I knew I loved Jacob Black.
From there things only progressed. Hugs and sweet little kisses became the norm in our relationship. He'd greet me with a hug and kiss and he'd say good night with a hug and a kiss. I never questioned the rhyme or reason because for the first time in a long time I felt loved and didn't want to ruin it with my attitude. I never returned the kisses but I did hug him back sometimes. He seemed perfectly comfortable with my little signs of affection which were nothing more than me allowing him to eventually hold me and do 'non-pack' related things with me. Imagine my surprise when he offered to go shopping with me – clothes shopping. We had gone grocery shopping together but then again I'd gone grocery shopping with every pack member one-on-one at some point. Soon it became plain to me that the more time we spent together, just the two of us, the more and more I fell in love with him.
However, I still never allowed it to go too far. An unspoken line had been drawn and agreed upon meaning that kisses were restricted to the top of my head, my forehead and on rare occasions my nose. Never sit in his lap, never hug for too long, never make silent eye contact for too long unless we were arguing, and I never return the kisses. Everything was going great – Jake was my best friend on the surface. We did practically everything together or rather he did everything with me.
The only thing I couldn't do was confide my true feelings with him. No that sappy job went to Embry Call. Embry, out of all of the wolves, was the #1 guy to keep all of his emotions, thoughts and fantasies hidden. I needed to talk to someone about what was going on and it not get around. Rachel was my number 1 choice but after she 'accidentally' mentioned to Paul that I used to have a crush on him she was knocked down a couple of notches. Couldn't tell Emily because Sam seemed to always show up whenever it was just the two of us – like I was going to knock her out and bury her body in my backyard or something. But anyway Embry became another best friend, but he was the one who you could sit down and talk to without worrying about interrupting or being judged. Embry is sweet, kind, gentle, a good listener and just an all around sweetheart.
Problem is though that once Jake left Embry started moving in. Funny how despite the fact that I am continually forced to hear a guy's mind I still wind up remaining completely oblivious to what the guys around me are thinking and feeling? Do I not pay enough attention? What am I supposed to be looking out for? 'Cuz I mean one day I'm sitting up talking to Embry that leads to all of us going to college together and then next thing I know…BAM! Embry 'teddy bear' Call is kissing me and it's not a sweet 'I think you're cute' kiss like Jacob gives but a 'you're so hot Leah and I want you now' kind of kiss. I mean what's a hot, sexy shape-shifting she-wolf supposed to do? I love Jake but Jake loves his imprint and I can't fight an imprint. I like Embry…but I guess, no, no, NO! I can't fall for Embry because he's going to imprint one day. Also I shouldn't have fallen for Jake in the first place. You, Leah Clearwater, are truly a certifiable masochist, a masochist with blinders on. But I didn't have a chance to figure that out because then all of a sudden Cyrus puts up the call that there's a leech nearby and well duty calls.
So then I'm forced to spend the next week in the forest hunting a very pissed off, rogue leech while making sure to keep Embry's mind out the gutter over our kiss. Easy task, huh? Uh lemme think that over…NO! After the kiss I couldn't shake Embry for nothing. I mean I know he was my beta and should back me up but he took it a little too far. The only good thing was that I got a nice pillow out of it. Is it wrong that I used him as my pillow? I mean I'm sure he got some sort of enjoyment out of it. Ugh, and then! Then to make matters worse I get my ass handed to me by a leech. Not only that but the stinking bitch bites me and before I know it my body feels so cold, numb and for the first time since joining Jake's pack I feel alone.
My body hurts and the pain is just so unbearable. A small voice begs and pleads to just give up and stop fighting the pain. At times it almost has me convinced that by giving in, going with the flow, rolling with the punch the pain will subside. 'Just stop fighting' the voice says over and over again. But then there's another voice that's fighting this one. While the other voice sounds cold, distant, bitter and tired this other voice is warm, close, loving, energetic and sad. 'Keep fighting, Lee' it cries out continually. And so I keep on fighting for that voice or rather voices. The octave changes but the emotions and meaning are all the same. Plus, I keep on fighting for Jake. When we were younger, right before I started dating Sam, we both promised that we would not live our lives with regret. I don't want to die regretting that I never told Jake how I felt about him even if he can't love me back the same way.
It was with that last thought I finally woke up feeling like shit. My arms hurt, my back hurt, my neck hurt and my throat was dry, scratchy and swollen. Imagine my surprise to see none other than the mind rapist smiling down at me. "Glad you haven't gone soft on me during your coma." Edward says chuckling.
'Fuck you.' I think trying to raise my hand and flip him off but my hand feels so heavy.
"You've been heavily sedated for quite a few days. Carlisle finally lessened up the drugs since you're healing faster now. You had everyone worried there for a second." Edward says placing his cold, stinking hand on my cheek.
'Whatever. You still stink like a bed of roses, washed in 40 tons of high karate cologne.' I groan out flexing my fingers feeling the drugs slowly burn out in my system.
"Well your aroma can definitely stand for improvement." He adds scrunching his nose. "You've been out for three-days." He states answering the question before I can even think it.
'Oh you're freaky. Wait? Three-days? Well did we get the bitch?' Edward nods his head. 'Is Zeke?'
"Everyone's perfectly fine. You were the only one to get hurt." Edward says as the monitors I'm hooked up to begin to beat. Guess that's proof I'm getting better even if my throat still feels like shit – dry shit. "You have a tube down your throat."
'No feeding tube through the stomach?' I ask and he rolls his eyes. 'Well get Papa Leech to remove it.' I demand as I feel my muscles twitch involuntarily.
"I don't think he would advise you too," And before I let him finish his lecture I undo the tape and slowly remove the tube from my throat. Gawd, it hurts but I feel better once it's gone. "Any other person I would've stopped." Edward says and I look up to see Mom and Rose looking at me. Both of them look very pleased and I swear they both look like they are on the brink of tears.
"Hey." I croak out raising my hand in a wave. And then before I know it I'm caught up in a group hug from Rose and my Mom. "That's enough of that." I groan out trying to get rid of the cotton mouth.
"Bout time you woke up Lassie." Rose teases smiling at me.
"Leah, you had everyone so worried." My Mom says with unshed tears in her eyes.
"Everyone?" I ask raising an eyebrow. That's never a good word for me because it entails questions, rumors, a get-together, crowds…great. Edward laughs again.
"Apparently the whole rez is talking about your motorcycle accident." Rose says smiling as Edward hands me a cup of water.
"Motorcycle? That's original. So I guess that means I'll be in hiding for the next couple of weeks, huh?" I ask clearing my throat as the warm water settles in my stomach. "So who's everyone?"
"Don't worry Lady that Tramp is a no-show." Rose added looking at me coldly.
"Oh, okay." I answered not exactly understanding the cold glare. "I thought you two were on amiable terms."
"We are. He still makes his blond jokes and I still make my mutt references." Rose snaps.
"Leah, once Carlisle checks you out you'll be able to go home." My Mom chimes in as I turn to look at her. "Will you be up for visitors?" I sigh heavily thinking about the supposed 'visitors' I will be having. Of course, every wolf from the rez will show up along with their imprints and in Sam and Emily's case a kid. And since no one can ever just come and go in my magnificent presence it would mean feeding said rabble. Looking over at my Mom I can see a glint in her eye meaning that she's up to something or hiding something from me.
"Hell why not celebrate my brush with death." I grumble cracking my back and wincing slightly from the pain.
"Are, are you certain?" Mom asks cautiously but still that glint is there – dancing. I narrow my eyes at her trying to read it but brush it off as her smiles fades.
"Yes, Mom, I'm certain. Not as if you could fight the cubs back anyway." My Mom hugs and leaves probably to call Emily about getting everything together. 'I swear that girl is always ready for a party.' I turn my attention to my remaining guests to see Edward and Rose having a silent argument amongst themselves about something. "Care to share?" I ask as Carlisle walks into the room.
"We'll talk later." Rose says as she gives me another hug and walks out with Edward. Carlisle stands smiling at me obviously very happy to see his eldest daughter being affectionate with someone other than the Halfling.
"Guess I was closer to dying than I thought." I state referring to Rose's sudden hugging spree. Two hugs from Rose is a lot.
"Everyone was very concerned." Carlisle adds while looking over my chart and making some notes. "There are a couple of questions I need to ask you and some things we need to discuss." Carlisle states as he quickly begins to remove all the needles and cords from my body.
"Like what?" I ask with a frown.
"First off, your mother said you had your period." No matter how many times its brought up I can't help but blush even though it is something I've been crying over the last 4-years. It didn't help that when I started I was napping and Seth, Quil and Embry totally freaked out because they smelled blood coming from my room. But then to walk around and hear Paul bellow out loud about how proud he was that his lil' Buddy Lee was finally blossoming into a woman. "Care to tell me exactly when it started?"
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A/N: Well here goes the next chapter. I had a completely different idea but this suddenly hit me while I was at work and figured I'd go with it. Just a bit explaining about Leah's feelings and her resolve to tell Jake how she feels when she talks to him again. Huh? Rose isn't going to tell Leah that Jake's in town? What's Sue hiding? Leah had her period?! Her pack still worries about her and Paul is still an ass. Thanks for getting me to 100-reviews everyone! ^-^ It's really sweet! Everyone gets a wolf shape cookie with red frosting for helping me hit over 100 reviews!! WOOT! KIRBY DANCE!!
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