Chapter 10: Shadows
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. My computer has gone off the deep end. The damn thing has so many problems and every time I send it in to be repaired it comes back with more problems. So hopefully this time it remains fixed but who knows.
She held him for what felt like forever. She held him in her arms as he lay in shock.
Who was he now? He hadn't been happy with himself when he knew his sins as Alec. Alec was a narcissist. Alec was a liar. Alec went through women faster than most people went through clothing.
But Alec was strong. Alec knew how to handle himself. Alec knew that survival was key. Alec didn't believe in things. He needed to see, and feel for him to acknowledge that something else existed.
Ben was weak. Ben was a murderer. He killed in a cold calculating manner without even a shred of remorse. Ben had a hard time distinguishing from reality and fantasy. He was consumed by his own dreams.
But Ben believed. Ben had faith that tomorrow and the next day would be better. Ben was the perfect soldier, a person bent on achieving his goals. Ben was gentle and he loved deeply. He was loyal to the memories of his siblings.
Now he was unsure of what to call himself or even who he truly was. Was he Alec the manic depressant or Ben the schizophrenic? Neither choice was appealing and neither identity offered him any answers.
Would he revert back into one of his fractured personalities? Would he become detached from everything like Alec only using people for survival? Would be become a killer like Ben in hopes of some higher power fixing him?
Max stroked his hair. She could sense how scared and confused he was.
"Do you hate me?" he asked his voice so quiet she barely heard it.
"I could never ever hate you. I couldn't even hate you when I thought you had ruined my life. I couldn't hate you when we fought in the woods. I've tried to hate you for killing, for lying, for hurting me and I can't," she whispered.
"What's going to happen to me?"
"Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let anything hurt you."
"Maxie, can we not tell the others? I don't even understand everything myself."
His hazel eyes pleaded with her to understand. He couldn't face the others. Cindy knew about Ben as did Logan and others at TC. They knew that Ben was a traitor, and a killer who offered his murders like sacrifices to some bloody thirsty goddess. They knew that Ben had killed and he couldn't face that. People already had issues with him for being Alec. How would they react when they learned that he was also Ben?
She felt uneasy at his question. This secret would come out but for now it was the only answer that was safe.
"It's your decision. We'll wait until the time is right. Until you know who you are."
"Thank you Maxie."
She felt the shadows close over them. She didn't know what had happened to him and she knew for now he wouldn't answer her. For now he would just remain a calm silent person deep in thought.
"Alec—Ben—what do I call you?" she asked quite confused.
"Just call me Ben when we're alone. Alec when we're with everyone else," he answered as his eyes began to close.
"Ben?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know what you're going to do?"
"For now I'm going to be Alec to everyone else and just Ben to you. Later I'll figure it out. Later I'll know who I am. You should get back to Logan, Maxie. He's probably looking for you."
She ignored his comments as she turned off the laptop and got them a blanket. She pulled it over them and pulled him closer. She held him like he had often held her when they were children.
"I'm going to stay here. I meant what I said Ben. I'm not leaving you," she said lay down next to him.
Be careful, his mind warned. Who knows if you'll snap? Maybe she'll kill you again.
Her own mind spoke quietly as she closed her eyes. What if he kills again? What will you do then? You won't survive the loss of both Ben and Alec.
The two slept even with the shadowy nightmares beginning to plague them. The truth was out and whatever happened next could signify the end for both of them.
In his penthouse, Logan Cale began to think of ways to win back Max. He wasn't blind to what was happening. Alec was encroaching on his relationship. Alec and Max had formed some weird bond. A bond that Logan was determined to sever.
To be continued….
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