Chapter 10 Revised: Thought for life
Disclaimer: It'll never be mine. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The last day of the Nerima half of the exchange program and Ranma woke up to the sound of birds chirping. He woke up and saw that his father was already up and he heard the sounds of something frying. This meant that either his father was cooking something or Kagome was cooking breakfast. He seriously hoped it was the latter. He looked out of the tent and he saw that he was right. Kagome was frying eggs and his father was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey Kagome, where's my pops?" he asked.
"He went to set up the last training exercise," she replied and handed him a plate of eggs and bacon.
"Well, I can count on the fact that this is great," he said after the first mouthful.
"You're too flattering sometimes," she said.
"Or is it because you, one day, hope to hear the words coming out of my mouth come from Inuyasha's?"
She remained silent, poking at the flames absent-mindedly.
"Oi, are you going to be sitting there all day or are you going to train with me?!" yelled his father.
"Whoops, sorry, gotta go," he said and sped of towards the voice.
Two hours later, an exhausted Ranma and a satisfied Genma made their way back to camp to find that Kagome had prepared some instant ramen for lunch.
"Sorry, this is all I could make, since we'll be leaving after lunch," she said. The two nodded and picked their food and began to eat, Ranma lying down for half an hour.
After his rest, the group packed up their stuff and left the campsite, making their way back down the mountain. Ranma was deep in thought, think back to last night's conversation.
'Who should I choose? They all have their great points, with the exception of one nutjob (A/N: I think we all know who he's talking about here), but why is it so hard?'
'Shampoo, she's cute, great, loyal, a great cook and she can take care of herself. She'd also independent, but I can't help but wonder, is she after me for love, or is she after me because I would bring strong children into her Amazon tribe? I don't know and I certainly don't want to know.'
'Ucchan, one of my longest childhood friends. Although I didn't know her true identity until I met her recently, she's nice and caring, she's one of the best cooks I know, she certainly would never turn her back on me and is certainly happy and bouncy most of the time. But, could I ever live a life with her as my wife? I only see her as a friend, nothing more. I don't have any more affection towards her.'
'And, Akane. The person whom started this entire mess, not that I blame her, mind you. She's the only one of the prospective four who isn't afraid to speak her mind. She's strong and independent, except for the times when she was kidnapped; she was always relying on me to get her out of those situations. Not that I mind, it gives me something to do and keeps my mind of other things and gives me a chance to perform what I do best: martial arts. She's also cute at times when she's not sending me flying through the air and where the hell does she keep that mallet of her? Ah, well. She can't cook, but that's easily fixed, but I wonder. Am I marrying her out of love or am I marrying her as my duty to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts? Because that's not what I want. If I do marry her, hell, if I want to marry any girl, I want it to be out of love, not out of duty.'
Throughout this entire time, Kagome was also thinking about her position in the feudal era.
'Why does my life have to be so complicated? I'm living a double life: one as a normal 15 year old and the other as a priestess with abnormal powers. Sometimes, I wish I never fell down that well. If Sota wasn't such a chicken, I may never have found that world in the first place and the most important thing to me would be my studies.'
'No, I don't wish that. If I did then I would never have met Inuyasha. Inuyasha, stubborn, overprotective, annoying, dense though he is cute with his ears; and uncaring…'
'No, Inuyasha is not uncaring. He cares for those around him so much. Miroku, Sango, Kirara (Japanese Spelling for those watching the dubbed version of Inuyasha), Shippo even, myself, probably the most, except for Kikyo…'
'Kikyo, Inuyasha's love. To him, she's the person who first loved him outside of his family, not that he had one at the time. I'm only her reincarnate, a shadow of her; I'm not even as strong as her metaphysically. When Inuyasha looks at me, I bet he only sees her. Either that or a shard detector…'
'But, if that really is the case, why does he keep me around? He could've just abandoned me at any time and asked Kikyo to take my place. He knows that she is stronger than me, so why doesn't he do that?'
'Because he loves you…'
'Huh? Who's there?'
'Your conscience.'
'Really?'
'Just ignore that. Anyway, back to the point. He loves you. He loves having you around. He cares deeply for you. Even you must see that.'
I know, but he loves Kikyo more.
Really? Does he love her more. I know that he can't forget the past. He also owes his life to her. She'll always have a special place in his heart. But the Kikyo that wonders the earth is nothing more than a memory of the living death, tied to the earth thanks to her hatred of Inuyasha.
I know, but despite that, I'll always be a shadow of her.
Really? Have you ever thought once that Inuyasha sees you as you and Kikyo as her? As two completely separate people?
…
Exactly. And who's to say that he doesn't love you more than her? Even he knows that. And remember, that Kikyo is not the Kikyo of 50 years ago. The Kikyo of 50 years ago was kind hearted and this Kikyo is cold. Even Inuyasha must see the difference between her and you. And remember this as well: you offer him warmth. You offer each other warmth. He never opened up before. Remember what Ranma said: you taught him to trust again. You trust him and he trusts you. He values you.
He might value me, but does he love me?
A better question might be; do you love him? Well?
Yes. I do. I stayed by him, knowing full well of what would happen if he chose Kikyo over me. I stayed. I can't let him go.
Then don't.
But what if-
Don't what if. If something happens it'll happen. What goes around; comes around. If he truly loves you, he'll make the right decision. It's not his fault that he is like this.
Then whose fault is it?
Prejudice and a lack of social skills are to blame. And even the latter, you can't blame him. No one wanted a hanyou friend back then. He was a cast out, an abomination, a freak. He never asked for this life.
So what can I do?
Wait. Wait for him. If he truly loves you, he'll do the right thing. And if he doesn't love you (Kagome's heart nearly stopped at this) part of loving someone means seeing that they're happy.
She stopped dwelling about this and looked ahead.
The two friends looked up at each other and smiled.
And they kept smiling, even when they looked away, for they knew that they were going to be taking charge of their lives when they got back.