Hi there! Hope your week was great! Here we are with another chap, but this one has some happy in it. Goodness knows that our girl needs it.

I want to thank all of you for your reviews! They really mean a lot to me. I will get around to replying this weekend!

jakbranton and myheroin1 are lovely ladies, and I cherish their words of wisdom.

This one is a bit longer than the rest, and the Kleenex alert is low to moderate.

The world of Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. What happens to her characters here is my fabrication.

"Hi, Jess. I have an 11:30 appointment with Rose," I said as I approached the reception desk.

Jessica Stanley got up and came around the counter to embrace me in a tight hug. We had been friends in high school. Not BFFs, but friendly enough. She and Mike Newton were an on again, off again item for most of our teen years, and I had heard through the grapevine that they had rekindled after they both moved back to town. Jess had returned to help take care of her mother who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She ended up working in Rose's office as the receptionist and business manager when they needed help in a pinch. After spending so much time here with her mom at the office, it seemed like a natural fit, and there weren't many jobs in Forks to begin with. That had been a few years ago and from what I heard from Rose, the office was a well-oiled machine thanks to Jess.

"Bella, how are you?" she asked with sincerity. Her sky blue eyes showed nothing but concern.

"I'm hanging in there, I suppose. Some days are better than others, but I'm happy to be here today. I'm looking forward to hearing the baby's heartbeat. Rose said that she might even be able to do an ultrasound."

"That would be lovely! From what I have seen, it is a magical thing. I'm looking forward to the day I get to go through all of this. Working here sure can make you get baby fever."

I smiled at Jess. "I hear you and Mike are dating. How's that going? He helped us the other day with all the legal stuff and with the business. Jasper and Alice are moving back to Forks. Jasper and I are going to be partners with the dental practice."

Jess nodded and walked back to her station, efficiently getting all of the paperwork in order.

"Things are good. It's amazing the perspective ten years and the wisdom of adulthood gives you when you meet your high school sweetheart again. We have been back together this time since last Fourth of July. Things just clicked. They feel right. I'm thinking he's the one."

"Don't waste time, then," I said softly. She looked up and reached over to hold my hand.

"I won't, Bella. I know that what you and Peter had was fantastic. Every time I saw the two of you together, it was so beautifully obvious how deeply he loved you. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you, okay? I know that is what everyone says, but truly, if I can help, I'm here. Especially if you need some guidance in navigating the business end of your practice. I know that dental and medical stuff doesn't translate directly, but it would be my pleasure to share what I know."

I took a deep breath and nodded, because I was dangerously close to crying. Jess handed me a clipboard full of papers to fill out and I sat down in one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs. Charlie walked in and took the seat next to me.

"Sorry I'm late, Bells. I got a call I had to take. Did I miss anything?"

I asked Charlie to join me for this appointment because I thought he might enjoy hearing or perhaps even seeing his grandchild. Also, I just didn't want to be here alone, even though one of my best friends in the world was my midwife.

I gave my dad a small smile. "Nope. Just paperwork. I'm up next, though. I'll have them call you back when it's time to see things, though, okay?"

Charlie squirmed adorably, his cheeks blushing a little. "Are you sure that you feel comfortable having me see? I mean I know from the accident that the only way to get an ultrasound picture this early, umm, is to, uh, doaninternalexam. At least that's what Emmett told me."

Charlie's hesitancy caused a giggle to erupt from me. It was the first genuine laugh I could remember since the accident, and felt wonderful, albeit foreign.

"I trust Rose to be discreet. And I really want to be able to share this with you. It feels right, you know?"

Charlie put his arm around me, hugging gently. When I first came to live with him, I was a gangly, awkward twelve year old. I had yet to begin my period and had just gotten my first training bra. Charlie never complained once when after he and Renee divorced that she packed up and moved to Phoenix. I was still a toddler, and their relationship as former spouses remained amicable. When my mom met a minor league baseball player and married him, Charlie stepped in and asked to have me live with him. My step-dad's schedule had him traveling the country, and Renee wanted to go with her new husband. I didn't blame her one bit. Actually, I respected Charlie for wanting to provide some constancy in my life. When I arrived in Forks, my dad and I were appropriately awkward around each other, but we settled into a close relationship. I remember the first few months with him filled with all the getting-to-know-you embarrassing moments, but we got through them with humor and hugs. Who knew that the Chief of Police was just a big softy? His hugs had always been a safe spot for me, and today's circumstances weren't any different.

Rose poked her head through the waiting room door, and then walked out to meet me. Grabbing my hand, she leaned over to give Charlie a one-armed embrace.

"Are you ready, Bella? We have as long as we want, because you're my last patient before lunch. I'm going to the L&D unit after I get through with you, okay?"

"Sounds good. So I get to pee in a cup for you?" I asked, trying to bring some levity to the situation.

Charlie snorted. "I think that's my cue to sit down and read some of these back issues of Good Housekeeping."

Rose winked, taking my paperwork from me and pulled me through the door toward the exam rooms. She weighed me, I went to the restroom to give my urine sample, and then I was shown into a rather posh exam room.

"Undress totally and put this lovely gown on," Rose said, handing me a soft garment the color of spring grass. "I'll be right back. Take your time, sweetie."

The room was a little on the warm side, but I guess it is better to err on the side of warmth when your patients are naked from the waist down most of the time. As I undressed and folded my shorts and panties, I paused and took the big, shuddering breath that had been hiding in my body since I woke up. This was one of those moments that I had dreamed about sharing with Peter. I had always pictured him sitting beside me, his familiar hands in mine as we gazed upon our child for the first time. When he became an uncle to Tommy, he made it very clear that fatherhood was something he wanted badly. Our plan was to settle into the practice for about a year, and then try to get pregnant. I knew that he would have been over the moon about this pregnancy, would have been the doting husband and father.

I finished getting undressed and put the green robe on. I noticed a box of Kleenex on the counter and picked them up, knowing that sometime in the next hour that they would come in handy. After a few minutes, Rose knocked on the door and came in.

"How are you feeling, B? Is your arm healing well?"

"As far as I know. I'd kill to take a shower without copious amounts of plastic wrap involved."

Rose smiled and looked down at her clipboard. "I'd think that you'd be a pro with that at this stage in your life."

I laughed as she referred to my eternal clumsiness. I have had five casts on various extremities, not to mention I don't know how many splints and braces.

"I am a pro, darling, but it still gets old. So what do we do here? How does this go down?" My good hand began to ache as I noticed that I was gripping the edge of the exam table so hard that my knuckles were white. Rose was seated on one of those rolling chairs with the round seat, and she scooted closer to me, sensing my apprehension.

"The first thing I would like you to do is to try to relax a bit. Let me take care of you, Bella. You are in great hands here, if I do say so myself. Now as far as office visits go, you will visit us every four weeks until you are twenty-eight weeks along, then every two weeks until you are thirty-six weeks, and then every week until you deliver. You will alternate visits between Dr. Masen and me. He's a really good doc, and I have heard great feedback from the patients. Plus he treats the staff at the hospital well. I think you'll like him."

Rose then told me about what to expect with my visits, informed me that my urine was fine, checked my vital signs, and proceeded to ask me a twenty-five minutes worth of questions regarding my health history, as well as things about Peter's general health. I teared up some as I answered those questions, wishing futilely that he could be by my side, answering them himself.

She then used a little portable Doppler wand on my belly to find a heartbeat for us to hear. We were met with silence, which caused me to panic.

"Everything is probably fine, Bella. That little bean is tiny! I'd be concerned if we didn't hear anything if you were twelve weeks, but at eight weeks, this isn't unusual. The good news is that we get to do an ultrasound and see this little one, okay?" Rose's words reassured me, but the tears still pooled in my eyes.

"Let's just get the internal exam over for now, and then I will wheel the ultrasound machine in here and get Charlie, okay?"

I nodded and blew my nose. In my head, I said prayers to anyone who would listen that my baby, Peter's baby, was healthy and happy and growing like mad in my belly. Rose did the exam, which is every woman's least favorite thing about being a woman, and pronounced that I certainly felt pregnant.

"I'll be right back, Bella, and I'll have Charlie make his way back here. I peeked at him earlier. He's just a teeeny bit uncomfortable, huh?" she said with a grin.

"Yeah. He carries a gun and chases criminals, but put him in a place where words like 'vagina' and 'menstruation' are spoken freely and the man freaks out."

I heard Rose cackle down the hall, and I gently slumped back onto the exam table. Three weeks ago, I was on top of the world, enjoying a day at the lake with my husband. Fast forward to present time, and I am facing motherhood and the rest of my life without him. It never once entered my mind that he wouldn't be by my side.

I felt the tears come. As I laid there staring at the ceiling, they trailed past my temples and into my hair.

"Oh, Peter. How in the world am I going to do this without you?" I whispered as I placed my hands on my belly. "I wish you could guide me somehow, babe. I need your calmness right now to even out my crazy."

There were three quick knocks on the door- Charlie's signature announcement- and I hurried to sit up and wipe my eyes. "Come in, Dad."

The door opened slowly and I saw my father's worried face peer around. He frowned when he noticed that I had been crying. In an instant, he was by my side with his arms enveloping me.

"Is everything all right, Bells? Are you okay? Where's Rosie?"

Rose appeared, pushing a rather large machine. "Right here, Chief. You ready to see your grandbaby?"

Charlie's eyes lit up, his mustache moving upward with his smile. He looked back at me. "I am if you are, Bella."

I smiled at him as he wiped a stray tear from my cheek, and then wrapped myself tighter around him. "This is so hard, Daddy. I miss Peter so much. How is it that I actually feel the pain of his absence? How am I going to tell this baby someday that I was the one who caused the accident that killed its father?"

Rose came to my other side, shushing me with quiet tones. "Oh, Bella, it was an accident, and I am sure that Peter is watching after you and this little one," she said with shimmering eyes. "We can't bring him back, but we all can help you to raise this baby with so much love and memories of Peter. Let us help you. Please."

The guilt I carried over the accident was a constant companion. The nightmares had diminished to every two or three nights, and Charlie didn't even know about all of them. Or if he did, he wasn't saying anything. I wasn't the kind of person who liked to appear weak, and asking for help went against my independent personality. I was going to be a single mother in thirty-two weeks, though, with a new business to run, and it was becoming increasingly apparent that relying upon the kindness and love of my family and friends would be the only way to get through these next couple of years.

"Bella, let me put it to you this way: if I were the one in your shoes, I know that your heart of gold would direct you to do the same as I am offering you right now. Let us share your burden as much as you can. Just concentrate on growing this baby so that in March, we can celebrate what a miracle you have been given."

"She's right, sweetie. Let us lighten the load. Take on what you can, when you can," Charlie urged.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "I think I can do that," I said softly. Sitting there between Rose and Charlie, I almost believed that I could get through this.

I heard a knock at the open door and glanced up, expecting to see Jess. Instead, a tall man in scrubs and a white doctor's coat was standing there. He offered a kind, lopsided smile before he spoke.

"I'm very sorry to interrupt. I'm Edward Masen, and I work with Rose. I just wanted to introduce myself briefly before I head over to the hospital. We have a patient who has gone into labor and wasn't going to be here when you finish up."

"Oh. Of course. Hi, Dr. Masen. I'm Isabella Whitlock," I said, still relatively unused to my new surname. "I'm glad to meet you."

Dr. Masen stepped forward, offering his hand, and gently shook my own. "Please call me Edward. I realize that this might seem a little awkward, but Rose has informed me of your situation, and I just wanted to offer my condolences. Between your friend and me, along with the staff, we will do everything we can to ensure that your pregnancy goes smoothly on our end so that you can concentrate on the important things."

Charlie squeezed my shoulder and spoke up, extending his hand to Dr. Masen. "I'm Charlie Swan, Bella's father. I appreciate your kind words, and I'm sure Bella does, too."

The men shook hands and I gathered my voice to speak. "Yes, thanks. We were just talking about all of the help I have available. I know that I am very fortunate."

"Well, I won't keep you. It looks like you get to meet someone by way of this machine, and I have to go see about meeting Forks' newest resident as he makes his arrival," Edward said with a genuine smile. "Please don't hesitate to call or have me paged if you have any questions, day or night."

I gave the best smile I could as I held back my emotions and nodded. Rose shut the door after he left, maneuvering the ultrasound machine into place by the exam table.

"He really is a fantastic doctor, Bella. I enjoy working with him a lot. Some OB/GYNs don't consider midwives very valuable, but Edward has made it clear from the beginning that the office is a team, and that my presence is just as critical to him as his presence is to me. It makes coming to work a whole lot more pleasant knowing that I have that kind of back up." Rose typed a few things into the machine and sat down.

"He seems really nice. I'm sure we are lucky to have gotten him here," I said absently. Rose turned her attention to me and I looked from her to Charlie. "What's the best way to do this? Charlie, I think you're going to want to turn your back for a minute, right, Rose?"

"Got it. Turning around now," Charlie said with a laugh. "Just let me know when it is all clear!"

Rose laughed at Charlie's embarrassment and motioned for me to lie back. She discreetly put my feet in the stirrups and positioned the probe where it needed to be, covering my nether regions well with a drape sheet.

"Okay, Grandpa Charlie, turn around and we can get this show on the road." Charlie looked down at me sheepishly, and I began to giggle a bit. Lord, how much more awkward could this get?

The three of us watched the screen, but two of us had no clue what we were seeing. Then I heard something very rhythmic and fast. A heartbeat! It dawned on Charlie what the sound was, and he looked at me with the biggest smile. I didn't even try to hold the tears back. It was both comforting and heartbreaking that a part of Peter was living inside of me. Comforting because he wasn't totally gone as long as I heard that heartbeat. Heartbreaking because I wouldn't be able to share any of this with him as we had dreamed.

"That is a good, strong heartbeat, Bella. See this flicker? There's the heart. That's your baby. Everything looks perfect, B. I'm going to take some measurements and see if the due date remains the same."

I looked at the screen, stunned. Charlie was much the same way. The gentle "whoosh-whoosh" sound of the baby's heart did so much to heal some of the fissures in my own. I felt a sense of relief and love unlike anything I had ever felt. Things looked pretty amorphous at first, but then as we stared longer, I was really able to see what I was looking at.

"Oh my! I can see him! I can see his little hands! Look Dad! Do you see them? They are so tiny! And no fingers really! Just little flippies!" I was gushing.

"Yep. Well, I'll be! Before long, those hands will be wrapped around a fishing pole! His head ain't much to look at yet, huh Rosie?" Charlie asked.

"Well, not really," Rose said as she used the machine to zoom in and out on the picture before us. "The baby is about the size and shape of a kidney bean, but things change so fast from week to week. Next time we see this little one, he'll look nothing like this. I'm printing off lots of pictures, though. You know that Alice, Esme, and Barb are going to want some."

We finished looking at my little one, Charlie left the room, and Rose helped me to sit up on the edge of the exam table once again.

"Rose, I can't tell you how much this means to me, to be able to see the baby. To connect to it. These last few weeks have been indescribably hollow. Peter's death has brought me to the edge, I won't lie, and some days the only thing that motivates me to even try to keep going is this little piece of him."

"There is help here for you, Bella. I can refer you to someone you can talk to about all of this. Sometimes, an objective point of view is helpful when everyone you might otherwise unload on is emotionally invested."

I looked down at the tissue in my hands that I had shredded. "I know, Rose, and I appreciate that. I just don't know if I can do that yet. I need a little more time before I put my feelings out there like that."

Rose gave me a hug and kissed my forehead. "I understand. Just let me know how I can help. Don't suffer in silence."

"Are you telling me to suffer out loud, then?" I asked with a grin.

"All I am saying is that many hands lighten the load. And there are so many people who loved Peter, who love you, and we will always be here for you. No matter what."

Rose's tone was serious as I tried to brush my anguish aside.

"Thank you. I know I must be frustrating you and Emmett with my reluctance to open up. It is getting easier, though. Today's visit caused me to realize that alone, this will all be impossible. Despite everything, I am blessed. Peter would always try to find the positive in every situation. You and Emmett are positives for me. Along with everyone else I love."

Rose wiped her eyes and embraced me again. "I'm glad to hear that you see that, sweetie. Let's get you out to Charlie so that he can he can leave Vaginaville with his dignity intact."

"Vaginaville? Really? Let me guess- Emmett?"

Rose snickered and nodded. "That's my man. He's got tons of class, but unfortunately, it's all low."

Later that night, I fell into a dreamless sleep after I tucked one of the baby's ultrasound pictures into the frame that held my favorite photo of Peter.

I want Rose for my midwife. js.

Thanks so much for reading! Have an outstanding weekend! See you Monday!