The day with Gracie went just as every day with Gracie went, perfectly. Danny handled the water well but did get sunburned pretty badly.
They stopped for shave ice and chatted with Kamekona for a while before Danny took her back home.
As he was driving home he tried Steve again but it rolled straight to his voicemail. He was worried about his partner especially after last night so he decided to head on over to check him out.
He found Steve sitting down at the beach simply staring out over the ocean.
He noted that the man was sipping water, which was a good thing since he noticed several beer bottles strewn off to the side of the chair.
"Hey….is it safe to join you?"
Steve turned to his partner and grinned, "Yeah, it's safe. Danno, I'm so sorry man. Hey…about last night….."
"Don't worry about it. I know you love me" Danny smiled adding, "You still look like hell"
"Well thanks a lot. You look like a beet! You gotta hurt babe"
"Yeah…..have I told you lately how much I hate this God-forsaken island?"
"Right…..I'm so sorry I wasn't there for Gracie today. Please forgive me"
"There's nothing to forgive partner. I told her you weren't feeling real well"
"Now that my friend is an understatement"
Danny chuckled softly, "Did you eat something?"
"Yeah I ate one of the sandwiches, Thanks"
"Danny…..you know how much I love you and Gracie don't you?"
Danny looked into his partners eyes noting the tears welling up.
"Yeah buddy, I know. The feelings mutual you know"
They say quietly for a couple of minutes as Steve tried to compose himself. He nervously tapped his bare feet into the sand and Danny sat patiently…...waiting...…
"Danny, I'm leaving" The words came out so softly that Danny wasn't certain he heard them correctly.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm leaving…..I can't do this anymore Danno...…I just can't"
"So you're running away? You're running away from your family? We love you Steve…" Danny's voice began to shake with emotion.
"Everyone….oh God Danny…." Steve stood and moved towards the water's edge, "Everyone I love…...oh God...…"
Danny moved to his side but not speaking. He wanted to give Steve whatever space he needed.
Steve's arms were both up around his head and Danny watched as his partner's chest heaved, "Steve….I'm here"
That was more than Steve could handle. He turned, reaching out as Danny moved in quickly to embrace him. Danny held him tightly, talking softly as Steve sobbed uncontrollably, "I'm here partner….I've got you. You're gonna be okay Steve. Let it all out….I've got you"
Steve's legs were shaking and the men fell to their knees in the sand.
Danny held his sobbing partner to his chest for several minutes before Steve pulled away, both men then sitting in the soft sand.
"SSsssorry Danny"
"Hey none of that, you've got nothing to be sorry for. Talk to me Steven. What do you mean you're leaving?"
"I'm so tired Danno...so tired of everyone I love...dying or getting hurt"
"Hey knucklehead...you're the one who got hurt. I mean yeah, we're hurting too, but that's because we're hurting for you. Steve you're family and we love you. I love you...buddy you're the best friend I've ever had and it's killing me to watch you go through this. I'm sorry I can't take your pain away. Have you called MaryAnn or Catherine yet?"
"No...I just can't talk about it..."
"Well you've GOT to talk about it. I'm worried about you babe. I'm here and I'll be here as long as you need me. This sucks Steve. What Joe did to you and your family is horrible but you can't let it destroy you...I won't let that son-of-a-bitch destroy you! Now talk to me...please"
Danny was now crying as well as he pleaded with his friend.
"Danny, since I've been sixteen everyone I love has either died or betrayed me. To find out that Joe is responsible for the deaths of my parents, God Danny...my Dad...when Joe told him about his involvement with the Yakuza...that had to destroy my Dad. Joe was like a brother to him"
"You're NEVER going to hear me make any excuses for Joe. Steve, you could kill him right now and I promise you that I feel the same way. HE got himself involved with the Yakuza, nobody forced him. He was a grown man and he made his own decisions and unfortunately those decisions impacted you and your loved ones. He'll pay for that Steve...we'll see to that. Joe White will never again see daylight outside of a maximum security prison. I know that doesn't give you your parents back and the pain of his betrayal will never leave you but you're wrong when you say that everyone you love dies or betrays you. You're hurting right now, but do you remember when you told me that I wasn't alone on the island? While I'm going to preach to you until you hear me...you're not alone Steven and you never will be"
"Danny...why didn't my Dad tell me about Joe?"
"From what Joe said the hit on your Dad was placed the day after he told him and I'm sure everything moved quite quickly. Your Dad had to be very upset and I'm sure he was trying to come to grips with everything"
"Do you think he knew his life was in danger?"
"I'm sure he did. And knowing that, he also would have known that telling you about it would have endangered you. He had sent you away to protect you after all"
"Yeah but I was a kid then"
Danny chuckled, "I can tell you're not a father my friend. It doesn't matter how old you are, you're ALWAYS your parents' baby. He loved you and Mary so much that he gave up being with you to keep you safe. Remember all through this whenever you had questions about your father, Joe always said what a decent and honorable man your Dad was...it's probably the one thing that you can believe from Joe. The depth of your Dad's love for you was amazing Steve, don't ever forget that"
"I feel so guilty Danny...maybe if I had been in touch with him more. I wasn't very good at staying in touch..."
"Steve, you know how proud he was of you. Even if you don't want to take Joe's word for it your Dad told you himself in those tapes he left. You could easily have ended up being totally fucked up with what happened to you. Losing your Mother at sixteen and then being separated from your Father and sister could have sent you into a total tailspin, but instead you excelled. You graduated High School and then you were at the top of your class in the Military Academy. You led a SEAL team and you earned how many medals for heroism? God Steve, I can guarantee you that your Dad was incredibly proud of you. What you have done with your life is amazing and I am so proud that you even consider me a partner let alone a friend. I love you man and you're strong enough to overcome this, you are. I want to help you, just tell me what I can do?"
There was a calm silence for a few minutes before Steve continued, "I worked very closely with an old retired SEAL Commander on one particular mission. He had never been married and he virtually lived as a hermit. He had no family at all. One night we were sharing a few beers and I asked him why he had never married and if he was lonely. Danno, he told me to do this job correctly you had to be married to it. The job was your lover and it needed and deserved your attention twenty four, seven. I asked him if he meant that I should never marry and he said I shouldn't even let anyone get close enough to me where I loved them or they loved me. I asked him why and he told me that loving someone would only end up causing pain and tragedy for me and my loved one because it's the nature of the business. Other than Catherine and the men who served with me, I gave my heart to no one. Every time one of them died, a piece of me died as well Danny but I accepted it and moved forward out of duty for my country. Then I come here and in my drive for vengeance I take on the 5-0 job. All those years of not caring were behind me and I quickly grew to love you and Gracie, Chin and Kono. You all helped me re-focus my life while still enabling me, and helping me look for Wo-Fat. Then I have the betrayal of Nick Taylor and again because of you all I overcame that. But now with Joe...Danny I don't think I can ever get over this. You guys are my family, and I do truly love you so much...I love you too much...I can't handle seeing any of you be hurt or killed because of me. I need to leave Danny. You would all be better off without me"
"Oh we would? Really? You know how I said you weren't fucked up? While I TAKE THAT BACK! Joe has totally messed up that SuperSEAL brain of yours. Get this through your head partner, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE and I promise you that Chin and Kono feel the same. We are doing an excellent job off cleaning up this island and we need you to stay and keep doing what you're doing. Steve, you make a difference in so many people's lives every day. Don't you see that? If God forbid, I was killed on the job tomorrow or for that matter if I was killed in retaliation for bringing down the Yakuza it would be worth it partner because we are cleaning up this island for Gracie and the generations to come. We're doing the right thing, the honorable thing. Chin and Kono and I...we took the same oath you took babe, to serve and protect. Do you think we didn't take our oath's seriously?"
"Of course not Danny. You guys are amazing. I couldn't be luckier to have such a dedicated and skilled team"
"You have to stop thinking that you can control everything Steve, because you can't. That doesn't mean that you should quit, it means you need to work even harder at get the job done. Why do you think you don't deserve happiness? Damn with all you've given to this country you deserve happiness more than most people. You're not thinking clearly babe. Promise me that you'll make no rash decisions here. Take a couple of days off and clear that head of yours and don't forget, we CHOOSE to work for you and it's not 'cause you're a good looking guy. We love you Commander McGarrett"
"I promise I'll think about it if you promise me something"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Don't EVER call me Commander McGarrett again"
"That's a deal partner. I'm starving, how about you?"
"Yeah, I am pretty hungry. Do you think Rachel would let us pick Gracie up so we can take here out for a burger and fries?"
"I'm certain that can be arranged. I'll call her while you go shower and clean up...you're not smelling real good, kind of a beer, vomit aroma..."
Steve grinned, "And you hugged me anyway"
Danny shot back, "Yeah, so never again question my love alright?"
"I never did Danny...I never did"
more to follow...