AN: I realized after I posted it that the phrase "the risk is worth the reward" in chapter nine should probably be "the reward is worth the risk"…I think…I've kinda confused myself, lol.
I'm a bit torn as to where this should go from here. I thought about making it a canon ending; Kagome goes on the marry InuYasha and then I might match Sesshy up with older Rin…or I could diverge from the main plot and write a Sess/Kag ending. Feel free to give me your input!
Oh, and thank you all for the awesome reviews! It's not my habit to respond to each review separately, but I want you all to know I do appreciate your kindness hugely! :D :D :D *Bear hugs for everybody!*
"Here, miko, have some rice."
"Oh! It's been a long time since I've had anything but meat! Thank you!"
"You're certainly welcome. Sesshoumaru, might I speak with you separately for a moment?"
"Hn."
Sesshoumaru followed Ryumaru out of the small house, leaving Kagome eating like a starved person.
"You have joined with the female."
"I hardly see how that is any of your concern."
"It is dangerous to do anything that could change the future. Chances are, it will not harm anything…but if she has conceived, I don't know what might happen. Perhaps the child might die in the time travel. But if not…how do you expect her to explain to your brother in the future how it is that she came to be pregnant with a hanyou who carries your scent?"
Inwardly, Sesshoumaru cursed. He'd felt that he'd thought it all through…but he hadn't considered that, that the hanyou who was his brother would recognize his scent. He did not think there was any chance that Kagome had conceived, though it was too soon for even his senses to tell…but still, he must send her out to bathe thoroughly before returning her to the other time, lest the hanyou react badly.
"I had not thought of that. Are you truly able to send her back?"
"Yes, I think. Though, what puzzles me is what caused the portal to act to strangely. If someone has laid a curse upon it, I may or may not be able to send her back. However, I do have a way to ensure that, if either of the other times she comes from reject her, she will come back here and not be lost to some time she does not know. That's the best I can do, I'm afraid."
"Well enough. I'm going to send her out to bathe. Do you have a way of getting the blood out of her old clothing? I think it best that I send her back looking the way she did when she came."
"I think I can do that. Sesshoumaru…are you attached to this human?"
Sesshoumaru glared at the older demon. Among Father's strange, often elderly cohorts, Ryumaru was reasonably sane. He was tall and dignified, with long white hair and a matching beard, always wearing long robes and a cloak. He had eccentricities…all of Father's friends did…but he also was very intelligent and very good…too good…at reading emotion. Denying anything true would not fool those keen eyes.
"It does not matter. I will send her back where she belongs, and I will forget she ever came. One day, I will meet her again…and she will be my enemy. That is the way things must be."
"You're right, that is the way things must be. But, though I can make the mind forget, memories of the heart remain. Are you prepared to feel her loss, not knowing from whence the pain stems?"
"I have no choice."
"You impress me, Sesshoumaru. You are hardly more than a pup; most at your age, in this situation, would be completely lovesick, weeping and wailing at the thought of losing their lover. You cannot fool me into thinking some part of you does not feel that way, but your restraint over it is worthy of regard."
Suddenly, though he would never admit it in such terms, Sesshoumaru very much wanted to confide in someone older and wiser.
"I…had not intended to feel anything for her."
"Ha, of course you didn't! Wouldn't be true emotion if it was planned! That's how love works, boy!"
Sesshoumaru growled low.
"I did not say I love her. Only that I feel some affection for her."
"Right, right. Whatever you want to call it. Well, it hardly matters, does it? You have to let her go either way. Who knows, maybe one day you'll have another chance. Or maybe not. Either way, feeling this way will do you good in the end. Even without the memories, your heart will be softer towards humans now. Perhaps you will find it in yourself to make things right with your father. He's heartbroken over your leaving, you know."
"Father has nothing to do with this. You say that these feelings will remain even with my memories of this time gone. Is there some way to be rid of this emotion?"
"Time, I suppose, will make it fade. After I have sent the miko back and erased your memory, I will give you some vague explanation as to why you feel bereft, so that you will not be entirely confused. After that, we will all simply sit back and hope for the best…hope that the future stays on its correct course."
"Yes."
He already felt bereft, and hated himself for it. Such nonsense, this sentimentality. He walked back into the house, ignoring Ryumaru's eyes following him.
"Kagome, go wash. It would not be wise to return to my brother bearing my scent. There's a spring behind the house." She nodded, rising and setting her empty bowl aside. "Ryumaru is going to see about getting the stains out of your clothing. It's best to send you back the way you came…especially since you will have no explanation, no memory of why or where you were gone."
"Sesshoumaru…I'm going to miss you so much…miss knowing this side of you, that is…"
"We will meet in the future. You have implied that I will stop actively trying to kill you at some point, correct?"
"Yes…but…we won't ever be like this again will we?…Even if we get to be allies someday…it won't be like this…."
"I think it unlikely. My brother will be a barrier between us. I would not be surprised, if one day he recognizes his own stupidity and realizes what a wonder he has in you. He will claim you for himself, then. And you will never remember that you ever felt anything for me."
Tears filled her eyes.
"A…a wonder? Me?"
At this point, was there any purpose to denying anything, to resisting emotion, to being cold? He'd already come to care about her. He'd kissed her, made love with her. He'd found her to be the best example of her race he'd ever met. And in a few short hours, he would forget she'd ever existed. So really, why not be honest now?
"No human less than wonderful could make me feel this way."
He half expected some silly declaration of undying love for him then. He should have thought better of her; she was smarter than that. Love could be born in a week perhaps, but not matured. Whatever they might have had was a seedling which would never grow into a tree. She knew it too. Instead of professing love, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
How could so much sadness be conveyed in such a gesture? He had wondered, last night, if this sort of touch could only bring lust. Now he knew better. It was like a fusing together of their desires, their affections, their sorrows. Through it, they were able to communicate how they felt; this emotion so far beyond mere affection, and yet not quite love.
When finally they moved apart, she took his hands. There was a sad look on her face as she laced her fingers with those of his left hand.
"Thank you so much, Sesshoumaru…for everything. And…I'm sorry, for what will happen to you because of me."
He chose not to ask what she meant. It would do little good anyway.
………
"Step into the circle please, young lady."
Kagome stepped into the circle drawn on the floor. Ryumaru was holding a long staff covered with strange designs. Sesshoumaru stood in the shadows behind the older demon, sad golden eyes watching everything.
"Now listen. I believe someone cursed the Well to send you to another time…an effort to get rid of you, I suppose."
Her eyes widened slightly. Naraku!
"I think I know who."
"Well, that's not particularly relevant; and the less you tell me of that future, the better. The trouble is this; if the Well was cursed only to send you to another time on the assumption that you would never find your way back, then everything will likely work out. If, however, the person who laid the curse took all possible precautions, there may be another curse, blocking your return. In that case, you would simply return here, and we will be unable to do anything about how this may change the future."
"Oh. Um, if it works, which time are you sending me to?"
"Your own birth time. It is best there. You may be unconscious for a while, and your era seems safer than that two hundred years from now. You will not be attacked while you sleep."
"Okay."
"Are you ready to leave?"
She looked over Ryumaru's shoulder to Sesshoumaru. He gave her that dazzling smile, one last time…though it seemed a little weak, lacking in sincerity. His eyes bid her a sad farewell, and he nodded once.
"I'm ready."
Light flashed around her.