A/N: Yeah, right, so.

Crimsonyaokiku wrote in their review that "James and Lily need to force Remus and Sirius into a cramped broom closet and lock the door", and that got me thinking. Unfortunately, like always, thinking got me nowhere and here's the result.

THANKS AGAIN for all the reviews, and story & author alerts. You guys are the bomb. (Not a dungbomb.) x x

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. The Marauders are not mine. James' socks are not mine – thank God.

Beta: No beta, only me.

Sirius watched the boy finger the sofa cushion as a reply to his suggestion.

Suddenly Remus' eyes were fixated on him. "Look, I feel I need to tell you that it doesn't really bother me that you want to do those things... to me, with me?" He made a baffled face. "But I'm... I'm still taking in the whole fact that you're..." He lowered his voice. "That you fancy me. You have to admit, it's fairly new information, very strange information, and because of that I don't know how to react at all."

Sirius could only stare at him. If he wouldn't have breathed, he'd been as still as a statue. Sirius the Statue, covered in owl poop. Why, you ask?

Why not?

Lupin glanced at his lap again. "I think –" He failed to continue. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again, shrugged and slumped against the couch. "See? I'm hopeless. I cannot even seem to comprehend what I'm trying to say, and... then I should know how to act correctly in this situation. I'm sorry."

Black inhaled as he tried to keep his hands on his own lap, and not touch the boy in front of him. "I promise not to say a word about it again, if you don't want me to. Just don't hate me."

"What are you...?" Lupin frowned, and then hurried, "No, I'm not trying to say I want you to... stop." Sirius only stared as he rubbed his face tiredly; Remus seemed to be thinking the whole thing very thoroughly, for the crease on his forehead was there again. "I should just... This is very –" Lupin dropped his hands, turned his eyes to Sirius once again, and chuckled lightly, "All right."

As usual, Sirius didn't understand. "What?"

"I said all right," Remus repeated. He smiled faintly at Sirius. "I don't mean the kissing part, but the fact that you fancy me... I guess I'm all right with that. I might as well try and get used to it, for I'm fairly certain you won't give up, but please, don't attack me."

Freshly crowned Sirius the Sweaty Statue blinked feverishly, and nodded like the serious man he was. And just like earlier, he stared at the boy in front of him, but this time he wasn't told to stop – Remus only watched him back and smiled at him instead of telling him to piss off with his ogling eyes. Black tried subtly to fan his shirt as he asked, "Does this mean... that you er... fancy me back?"

Remus smiled lopsidedly. "Let's not jump into conclusions."

Sirius hummed, "Yeah, those are... bad, right?"

"No, it depends on the conclusion," Remus told him, and for a second or two his smile was a bit wider; but when he turned his eyes to watch someone else rather than Sirius, the smile returned to the smallest one possible – yet, Sirius was easily able to distinguish even that as a smile. "I've come to the conclusion myself that evidently I've hurt my head quite badly at some point, because I just cannot seem to get my thoughts together. They are all over the place, thanks to you."

The boy next to him nodded vigorously. "So... what are you going to do with them messy thoughts of yours?"

Remus rested his head on the backrest of the couch, but his gaze never left Sirius. A lazy smile stayed on his lips. "I think that after digesting everything properly, I shall know how I really feel about this. Now I'm very confused."

Sirius only fanned his shirt as retort.

"I'd like to know one thing, though," Lupin resumed silently. "Why me?"

Black forgot his shirt. "What do you mean why you? Do I need a reason to lo..." He blinked. "Eh, like you? Stupid question. I don't have to answer that."

Remus frowned amusedly. "I'm sorry, I was just wondering, because you could honestly have anyone you wanted. And... no one ever likes me."

"I don't want anyone, I want..." Sirius ogled at him in disbelief, and let the revealing words die on his tongue. "What are you even talking about? Everyone likes you. Have you seen that Hufflepuff?"

Shaking his head, Remus said, "Everyone has forgotten to mention it then." He shrugged lightly. "However, I'm not surprised; there isn't really anything exceptionally marvellous about me. I'm boring. You realise that, right? I don't share your never-ending briskness, for example."

Sirius looked horrified. "You're just flat wrong."

Remus said nothing while he waited a proper answer.

"But you said yourself just a moment ago that you're brilliant and clever," Sirius tried, tilting his head. "Where did you leave that?"

"Oh... I forgot about that." With narrowed eyes Remus seemed to think about something, and it was doing very strange things to Sirius' insides – or, to what was left of them. Remus flashed a nervous smile to him. "You know, forget about that... It was foolish."

"You being clever was foolish? You've talked a lot of rubbish today."

The geek lifted his legs on the couch, and crossed his hands under them, focusin his eyes firmly on Sirius. "I really want to know. Why do you fancy me?" He laughed tensely, as if trying to make his words less serious.

Grinning widely at the adorable idiot, Sirius said, "Fishing for compliments, are we?"

"No," Lupin said, and smacked him slightly in the arm. He scrunched up his nose. "I just want to know, because you seem to be so dead set on this. You must have a reason." He furrowed his brows. "Or few."

Sirius stared at his expecting face, and didn't really need time to think. He leaned forward to whisper, "You're amazing at everything."

"Certainly that's not true. I might be good at some things, but everything –"

"Oh, it is true. And just like I told you earlier today, this all, what I'm feeling, started off as admiration for all that amazing you are. I mean... You're patient and good-natured, which –" Sirius tried not to laugh. "Which is a lot when you hang around with us. "

Remus pursed his lips. "In other words I'm a dull, naive pushover?"

"Did I just say that? No, you're like a bloody saint or something. See, you are very forgiving of a person, and never really angry." Sirius shrugged. "Well, maybe you are sometimes, but I'm fine with that. I like that."

"You like me when I'm angry?" the werewolf asked, his face supporting an absolutely baffled expression. "That's not possible. I am horrible when I'm having a bad day. I know that, so you must as well." He lifted his head from the couch, and leaned a bit closer to Sirius, whispering, "Once I almost wanted to hit James."

"Understandable," Sirius said back, and watched as the boy leaned back against the sofa. "Also, this one time you almost made me almost pee my pants, and it wasn't that nice –" When Remus made a horrified face at him, Sirius shut his mouth. "What I mean to say is that even though you kind of scare us, sometimes, when you're angry, because you're usually always so calm and unflappable... and to be clear, you're also the only person besides Evans who can make Potter's self-esteem totter... a rhyme! A tottering Potter... Potter totters on Tuesdays."

Lupin smiled at him. "Concentrate."

"Right, sorry." Black licked his lips. He briefly closed his eyes as if to think thoroughly, but that was just an illusion. He was like James. "Eh, you being angry and... stuff, it makes me... kind of like you more."

"Angry and stuff?" Remus stared at him amusedly. "What does that mean?"

"Because when you're angry, you... er –"

Sirius muttered something unclear to him, and Remus had to ask despite of his sensitive hearing, "I what?"

"You... sweat. Slightly."

For a moment Lupin only stared at him with widened eyes, but suddenly he burst out laughing; he had to hold his stomach, and with surging giggles he was about to fall off the couch and on his back on the floor, but Sirius caught his shirt hem just in time, and pulled him right back. Remus' cheeks were flushed with colour and there were honest tears in his eyes, but somehow he managed to splutter between breaths, "Oh sweet mother..."

"Hey!" Sirius pouted as he steadied Lupin on the couch, his hands never leaving Remus' hem. "Don't laugh! I'm serious!"

Remus still kept snorting as he let go off his stomach, and ran a finger under his watering eyes. "Honestly, you've got to be kidding me –"

"Am not, though," Black said earnestly to him, and slowly eased the grip of his clothes even though he really didn't want to. Over Remus' shoulder he took a glimpse at the girls, who were staring at them from the table, surprised. He flashed a smiled at them, and they immediately turned back to their cards.

As his sniggering slowly ceased and he just rested there staring at Sirius, who looked rather serious to be exact, Remus asked, "What do you suggest? That I take a shower every time I get mad at you, so you won't get any ideas?"

"What?" Sirius blinked. He was not thinking about Remus in the shower.

Remus grinned ridiculously. "Nothing. But, do I smell bad or something? I've asked you this before. Has this something to do with Padfoot?"

"Okay, forget the sweating. There's more to you than just that."

The lycanthrope laughed. "Thank you!"

Sirius was about to say something, but he closed his mouth, and after a moment he muttered, "Actually... Don't move."

He got up, ran up the stairs to their dormitory room, and after a minute he was sitting again before Lupin, now handing him a ruffled piece of torn parchment.

Remus eyed the paper suspiciously, but took it from Sirius nevertheless. "What is this?"

"Open it."

The boy opened the paper carefully and after reading the title his cheeks flushed again. Sirius' subtly gasped at the sight.

"You..." Lupin's words trailed away as he kept reading the words. A second later he glanced up, and said, "You spelled my name wrong. See, Remie. I think it's actually spelled with two M's."

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "I told you before, I can't write. I mean I can, but..." He squinted. "You know. Hand-brain-connection."

As Remus merely continued reading the list, he chuckled lightly under his breath. After a long moment, which was more than enough for him to read the list through – and during which Sirius almost grew a beard similar to Dumbledore's – Remus turned to look at him again. At some point Sirius had moved just a tad closer, but Remus didn't notice that. "This is absolutely horrendous."

Sirius stared at him, suddenly terrified. "What?"

"You really need to work on your grammar," Remus told him, shaking his head slightly as he kept his peepers on the paper.

That had almost given Sirius a heart attack! He exhaled, his lungs trembling, and pushing himself to calm down once again, he muttered, "Well... Maybe you could tutor me like you said."

"You would like that?" Remus asked, and smiled warmly at him. "It's been a while since I've tutored anyone, but I suppose I could do that. Just you and me; it would be fun."

"Fun he says..." Sirius was completely captivated by his lips. "Yeah, that or... torture... or whatever."

"Tomorrow, right after classes then." His eyes glinting oddly, Remus again turned back to the list.

For a minute or two, there really were no other sounds except for Remus' low chuckles as he reread the list, and Sirius' evidently difficult breathing as he stared at him (in a rather subtle manner, one might add); the way how Remus' mouth occasionally curved upwards, that – that made his heart pound achingly. Yet since he'd been hiding the aforementioned pounding actively for a few years already, Sirius was certain he was able to do it again.

During those few minutes, Sirius heard nothing except for the rhythm of his own heart, throbbing in his eardrums.

Of course the five other Gryffindors in the common room might have disagreed on those sounds, but the two boys couldn't have cared less about their opinions at that moment.

Thankfully, the little girls left those two alone in return.

"Um, Remmie?"

Lupin didn't even glance up at him. "Yes?"

Not sure if he was gulping because he was trying to drown the sound of pounding in his ears, or because he was almost certain the beating heart was about to lunge out of his mouth, Sirius croaked, "What do you think of the list?"

"Well, I can agree with some of the things here, but..." Remus sniggered cordially. Obviously he hadn't heard anything weird. "I'm hardly sexy."

Sirius retorted under his breath, "You have no idea."

Remus stared intently at the paper. "Well, I don't understand why you would even do that."

"Do what?"

"Find me sexy, Sirius. I'm not a girl." At last Lupin looked up at him, and with the paper he gestured towards his own chest. "See, no breasts."

At that Sirius huffed, offended. "Don't you think I know that you're a bloke? I know that you're a bloke, Remus."

Remus turned his eyes back to the interesting paper. "I'm sorry."

Now sighing, Sirius pulled his long legs on the sofa, and managed to find a comfortable position as he leaned a bit closer to the boy. He flailed his hands as he explained, "Look, it's not like I planned this. I didn't wake up one morning a few years ago, and decide that 'blimey I should fall in love with a bloke today, preferably Remus', but it happened." He shook his head. "Not... in one day, but over the years, obviously, because you know, I'm not Potter..." Lupin had forgotten the list, and was now watching intently Sirius, as he continued mumbling. "I'm sorry I'm putting this kind of weight on your shoulders, as if you don't have enough burden already." He seemed to be in pain. "You know how much I hate apologising, but I really am sorry."

Remus' mouth hanged slightly open as he stared at him in a way Sirius had never seen before. He then uttered, "You don't have to apologise. You're not a burden. Of course you're not..."

Sirius presumably chewed on his tongue, so he wouldn't have the stick it into the werewolf's throat.

The lycanthrope scratched his neck. "Somehow I feel it's me, who should be apologising you, for making you feel bad for all these years. I really had no idea that you –"

"Don't," Sirius interrupted plainly. "You have never made me feel bad."

Lupin gave him a small smile before he dropped his gaze, almost if embarrassed; his eyes caught Sirius' long fingers fiddling with his trouser leg, but he said nothing. Sirius almost swooned as he realised Remus didn't slap his fingers away from him.

"This list..." Remus cleared his throat and lifted the paper from his lap to read it again. "You like me because I'm shorter than you?"

Black kept fingering the soft fabric of Remus' trousers. He seemed like he was daydreaming – and he probably was. "Your height is perfect... ideal... when I, um –" When Remus said nothing but only raised his eyes to look at him, Sirius blinked and muttered, "Kiss."

"Kiss?"

"You," Sirius sputtered quietly. "I'd like that."

Suddenly Remus stared at Sirius's fingers again. They had carefully climbed a tad higher on the cloth. "You want to kiss me?"

Black breathed immediately, "Yes please. Now? We could go to the –"

Folding the paper, Remus shook his head in an amused fashion. "No."

Sirius pouted childishly at him, and let go off his trouser. Leaning closer he mumbled quietly, "But you kissed me earlier, why you're saying no now!"

"I wanted to make you feel better." Remus shot a quick look at him.

"Oh, well then..." Sirius began, licking his lips. "I feel very sad right now –"

"Sirius."

Changing the licking to huffing idiotically, Sirius shifted more comfortably on his place, and leaned his back against the sofa. "Look, I understand if you have no feelings for me –"

Lupin looked him in the eye. "I don't think I said that."

"What?"

Leaning into the sofa in a similar way as Sirius, Remus flashed a nervous smile to him. "You keep saying what a lot."

Sirius whispered, "You have feelings for me?"

As Remus handed the now-folded paper back to him, their fingers touched briefly – but naturally no one was going to mention it. Sirius wanted to repeat that connection, taking it a bit further and hopefully with his tongue. Remus bit his lip nervously. "Let's talk about something else."

"No, let's talk about this," Sirius mumbled demandingly. "How do you feel?"

With Sirius merely wathing him, waiting an answer, Remus took a glimpse of the girls behind him; as he noticed they were deeply absorbed in their own conversation, he turned his eyes back to Sirius and said quietly, "I already told you, I'm very confused. That's what I feel. Confusion."

"Is there anything I could do to help?" Sirius tilted his head faintly. "I know we already established that I'm very bad at helping, but –"

Remus smiled at him. "You don't have to help me. I shall figure this out on my own."

"I mean, maybe if we would just –"

"We're not going to kiss, Sirius." Black pouted again at him, but Remus ignored him completely, and rested his head again against the couch. He sighed and sank into the cushion, eyeing a small group of people that emerged from the tower door. He smiled contently at no one as he muttered, "You know, I should be proofreading my Runes essay once more, but I like sitting here." He turned his eyes to Sirius, and his smile widened.

"Well, that's because I'm far more entertaining than Runes could ever be."

Slowly sniggering, Remus uttered, "Even if I wanted to go and study, I probably wouldn't be able to move my bum off this couch."

"It's a great bum."

While waiting for their Ancient Runes professor to arrive to the classroom the next morning, the prude and the geek were having a serious discussion in the back of the class. The talk wasn't about the seriousness of Lily's situation with one oddly-acting James Potter – she was certain he had hit his head on a brick wall (several times) as he wasn't bothering her constantly anymore; also they weren't discussing about Peter, because... why would have they done that.

As they weren't talking about their school work either, what subject was left for them?

Lily shook her head at the boy. "But it wasn't that difficult! Are you kidding me?"

Remus searched through his satchel and muttered, "He has a strange presence these days. I cannot seem to concentrate whenever he's around." He placed his Ancient Runes textbook on the table in front of them, and he fixed his eyes on the gaping girl next to him. "And as you know, my concentration skills are usually immaculate."

"They aren't if you failed with the first step." Lily pursed her lips. "They're rotten."

"Not so much as failed as I discarded the first step altogether." Remus smiled to her, seeming a bit anxious. He took a glimpse of the people around them, hoping no one heard him speak. "In retrospect, it wasn't even necessary for me to tell him about my good qualities, for he seemed to know them already." A slight blush inhabited his neck. "I think he's –"

Evans closed her eyes as she interjected, "Please tell me you didn't tell him about the system."

"No," Remus muttered. Shaking his head he resumed digging his bag. "No, we just talked about... things. And with all we conversed about, I am fairly certain now that he's not joking around."

The girl tried not to grin. As someone might suspect, she did a brilliant job at it. "Is that so?"

"I never would have thought he truly..." Remus trailed off before he could finish his sentence. He turned his oddly hopeful eyes on her. "I don't think I need to do the other steps." He lowered his voice. "I know he fancies me; I'm sure of it now."

"How?" Lily asked bluntly. "How do you know that?"

"He says a lot of things about kissing me." Remus tried not to smile himself as he rubbed his neck again. He quietly continued, "Other things, as well. He... he constantly touches me, or at least he tries to, and –" Suddenly his eyes widened. "And he has made a list of me. Yes, I'm sure I can get it from him, if you –"

The girl shook her head. "All of that is pure rubbish. For all we know he might have done all that when he was trying to score some time ago." She squinted. "You do not remember how he was just a few months ago snogging a bird in your dormitory, and in your bed, above all? Don't tell me you've forgotten about that."

Remus shook his head. "I remember that, but maybe he was just –"

"No, don't think about it now." Lily lifted a convincing hand to touch his fidgeting shoulder. "Just follow the system, Remus. It makes all your doubts go away."

"Maybe I could just go to him, and –"

"Focus." Lily snapped her fingers in front of his face; he startled at the gesture, and instantly quieted down. "Don't daydream, it never works." Once Remus had quickly nodded at her, for obviously she was right, she continued. "The second step. Now; are you going to do it today?"

"I don't want to," Remus said feebly with a desperate frown. He turned completely sideways on his seat, facing the girl better. "When I was with him yesterday, I could have sworn that he was –"

Lily would have none of that. "Shut up. Just –"

"Follow the plan?" The boy sighed and gave in. He turned to his desk again, and leaned his face against the textbook he had on it. With his cheek squished against the hard book, he muttered, "Well, I guess you know these things better than I do. I really have no experience of..." His eye twitched a bit as he stopped talking, and the he nodded. Or at least he tried to nod. "Yes, I'm tutoring him tonight, so I could carry out the second step then, I suppose."

"Tutoring?" Lily asked, expressionless. "Sirius Black?"

"Yes," Remus said, and smiled to himself as he played with his fingers on the table. His middle and index ones were briskly marching towards the edge of the table. "I'm kind of looking forward to it."

Lily noticed their professor walk in the class, and she muttered, "Right. But just remember; the step is only to flatter him. Nothing else. Keep that in mind."

The boy muttered something to the book.

"Try to keep your head together, sweetie," Lily reminded him, and slapped his neck so he would sit up. "I know it must be hard, for he's so..." She grimaced as Remus was again watching her face. "Dreamy."

He tilted his head as he watched Lily feign a disgusted shiver. "You know, you and James would get along just fine. You are very similar."

"Yes," Lily whispered and opened her book. "With the exception that one of us has brains."

At the same time as Lily and Remus were having their dose of Ancient Runes, the three other Marauders were causing a severe headache to their Divination professor. Of course they were – studying quietly wasn't even an option for them.

Not when Divination was in question.

Sirius puffed angrily as he feverishly ogled inside of his tea cup. "I can't grasp this bloody thing at all." He shoved the cup to James, who was sitting in the armchair next to him. "Is that mush supposed to mean something? Like what? Some sort of black ooze is hitting me in the head today?"

"It's not that hard to understand, dummy." Potter snorted. He turned Sirius' cup around a few times in his hands while staring inside of it, and then he proceeded browsing through a thick text book on the table in front of them. "Uh..."

"This promises me sweets! All right!"

The professor grumbled lazily from the other side of the classroom, "Please keep your predictions to yourself, Mr Pettigrew. If someone wants to hear them, they shall ask you."

"Sorry, professor!"

Sirius sneered at Peter and leaned back in his fluffy armchair. "They're only sweets, Pete, not love – don't get those mixed up again."

Still staring at his cup, Peter frowned. "I've never heard the words 'only' and 'sweets' in the same sentence before."

"I figured it out," James suddenly muttered and showed the cup to Sirius. Once Sirius had moved closer to the edge of his chair, and was able to see the cup James was showing him, Potter said, "See, those are pants."

"Pants?"

"Or..." James leaned into the table to browse the book again. "The symbol of impending trip to the hospital wing." Making a face, he glanced at Sirius. "I suppose you can choose whichever sounds more appealing to you."

"Pants are nice," Peter noted, his voice muffled a little, since he was trying to lick the tea leaves from the bottom of his cup.

Nodding at James and then grimacing at Peter, Sirius said, "Or, maybe I'll strangle you two with my pants, and you end up in the hospital wing."

James shook his head, and lowered the cup on the table. He sat properly in his chair, and sank in it without even really trying. "Ending up in there this early on Monday morning does not sound even remotely plausible."

Sirius stared at him. "I promise to make sure of it, so 'plausible' is not the right word for this occasion."

"Well, I like to use my extensive vocabulary as much as possible, and you should appreciate that," James told him, crossing his legs and his arms. "Just like you do with Moony. He uses the exact same words as I do, but you're not constantly whinging to him."

"Yeah, because he doesn't do it the same toplofty, peacocky manner that you do."

The second Sirius had uttered that, James' eyes grew in size behind his glasses. He breathed, "You did not just call me a peacock, you bastard."

"Oh, I think I did," Sirius said with a sneer, and then hissed, "And stop calling me a bastard. It's not my name."

Shaking his head again, James huffed back, "Well, your crazy arse mother might think otherwise. Should we ask her?" He made his hands the foot of a box, and put his face between them, mimicking a fireplace. "Hello, it's James Potter here! Isn't your son a bastard of the worst kind?"

"You want to see an arse, Potter?" Sirius got up, taking a hold of his trouser buttons. He started undoing them. "If you do, I'll give you one! In your face! I'll grind it there!"

"Keep your trousers on, you twat!" James yelled, breaking his imaginary fireplace, and smacked Sirius in the face with a pink pillow he found from the floor. "I've seen your arse too many times already! I don't care for it!"

"Mr Potter, cease shrieking!" Their professor hollered in a way women usually do – the raspiness of her voice contrasted beautifully against the pastel pillows of the classroom. She stepped closer to them, a blood-chilling glare on her face. "Mr Black, this is not the time to be stripping! As Mr Potter suggested, keep your trousers on!"

"Sorry professor!" the boys hollered back at her in unison but they kept their glowering eyes on each other. As Black sat down he was almost breathing fire.

Peter daydreamed next to them. "I wonder if I'll buy the sweets for tomorrow's Quidditch game."

Sirius the Puffing Dragon forgot that he was at war. He turned his eyes, which had stopped blazing, to Peter. "The game's tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Potter said from the edge of his own armchair, and took his own tea cup from the table. He stuck his long nose into it. "What do you think the late hour practices have been about? I told you last night."

"Eh..." Sirius scratched his head and slumped further into his chair. "You did? Guess I wasn't paying attention then."

"Obviously you weren't." James squinted at his annoyingly smirking tea leaves. He put the cup on the table, and took the book on his lap. "Now, if I'm reading those leaves right –"

Black nodded in an all-knowing manner. "Which you of course aren't..."

"If I'm reading these right," Potter repeated, already annoyed again, and after checking the textbook twice, his face fell. "Crap."

"What is it?" Sirius perked up and took James' hand, holding it and the cup in front of him, trying to peer inside of it. Naturally he didn't understand a thing about the mushed up leaves."Who's going to die?"

James said miserably, "My love life."

Black snorted and stuck his nose into the cup. "You're love life's going to die? That sounds very interesting."

"No, the prediction is about my love life."

Tilting his head, Sirius put the cup on the table, and smiled at James' pouting face. "So another impending trip to the hospital wing, then? Maybe you should put on a helmet before you go talking to Evans." James said nothing to him, and only nudged the open text book closer to him, grunting barbarically at it. The boy snatched the book and puffed, "What am I looking?"

"That symbol right there."

Black furrowed his brows, and read the text under the squiggly picture James had pointed at. "'True love comes not the way You expect it to.'" He moved his eyes to James. "Meaning?"

"That was the meaning."

"Oh I'm sorry, I don't understand the utterly idiotic language of this pretentious rubbish," Sirius pattered sluggishly, and tossed the heavy book on the floor, in a mountain of pillows. He flailed his hands, huffing, "This whole bloody class, what a load of horse –"

"Maybe you would like to learn the language more explicitly in the detention tonight, Mr Black."

The boys turned around and saw their bizarre scarf-covered teacher scowling down at them.

Sirius frowned at her in return, and immediately pointed an accusing finger at James. "Well, Potter here called my mother an arse! Punish him! Preferably with a cactus!"

James snickered. "Your mother is an arse."

Sirius threw him an irritated look. "Don't you think I know that!"

The professor sighed tiredly above them, rubbing her temples. "Perhaps Mr Potter would like to join you in your detention."

"I would not," Potter commented jovially.

"Arse, bloody arse I say!" Peter hollered suddenly next to them. Sirius, James, and the teacher turned their respective disbelieving faces at him.

The rat stared at them in the eye, and yelled with all his might, "ARSE I TELL YOU!"

Now the whole class was staring at them, as usual – if someone was to ask any of them, they would say that this was a weekly entertaiment of theirs during the Divination class. Once the professor even had to cancel the double class because of the three of them, but when asked, no one would voice why.

"What are you, dense?" Sirius threw a pillow at Peter's red face whilst the professor just kept groaning desperately behind them and massaged the bridge of her nose.

She muttered, "Merlin, grant me power to deal with this..."

"I don't like to be alone with Moony," Peter whined at his friends once he had passed the dusty pillow on the floor. He rubbed his nose. "He's boring as hell... And who knows what they do when they get bored. I don't want to die."

"Oh, shut up, Pete," Sirius grunted. "He's not boring, you're just bloody stupid."

James took off his glasses and shook his head. "That's an insult to stupid people."

Peter concurred, "Yeah! Wait... what?"

The almost forgotten professor stated then bluntly, "I want to see all three of you in detention tonight; and no complaining, or I will double the punishment. I'm getting tired of you three hooligans squabbling all the time during my classes."

"Honeslty, Madame, tea leaves? At least there's some action in the classroom when –" Sirius began, but Potter silenced him with a frilled mauve pillow.

After the invigorating class of Ancient Runes, Remus and Lily were ready to leave the stuffy classroom, but their professor called out, "Mr Lupin, may I have a word with you?"

Remus frowned worriedly at his friend as professor Babbling gestured towards him. Lily gave him thumbs up, and left him to his doom.

He drew a deep breath, readjusted the satchel on his shoulder, and walked up to her. The youngish woman (on Hogwarts scale, that is) was standing in front of her desk, leaning on it, and holding Remus' essay roll in her hand.

Naturally Lupin saw the essay, but looked into her eyes. "Yes, professor?"

She smiled gently at him. "Mr Lupin, your essay was the very first I started reading just now, and I must say I was fairly surprised... That is why I called you up here. This has never happened with you before, Mr Lupin, so I wanted to ask you if you are all right."

Remus blinked, and strived to keep his eyes on her. "Is there something wrong?"

"That's what I wanted to ask you. There was one thing on your paper that immediately caught my attention." She nodded at the roll in her hands. "How long did you write your essay?"

"A few days," Lupin answered truthfully, and swept his slightly sweaty hands to his robes. "And then I proofread it a couple of times, professor."

She nodded. "All right. Have you been under a lot of pressure lately, Mr Lupin?"

Remus licked his lips as he thought about it. "I don't think so?"

The teacher kept smiling at him like his grandma had smiled at her late cystitis-stricken cat, and it made Remus far more nervous than if the teacher would have been shouting and spitting in his face. She nodded. "Are you sure?"

Despite being oddly fidgety, he spoke with an unwavering voice. "Yes, professor."

She opened his essay roll and studied it. "I don't think I should tell you this, but when I was younger I did this same thing as well, when I was nervous. Somehow soothing words always made me relaxed, and afterwards I was able to put my 120% to my essay, making it the best there was."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand," Remus said quietly, but when professor Babbling handed the essay to him, he blushed instantly after seeing it. "I, er... I'm so sorry for this, professor, I must have –"

"Don't worry about it," she chuckled. "It's quite usual to see these kind of therapeutic words on essays these days; were they just nonsense, or your friend's name – after all, the standards have become greater, thus making the students more stressed, which in turn makes them more prone to..." She pointed a finger at the roll Remus had in his hands.

Lupin only nodded hastily as he rolled the essay close.

"I only wanted to ask you about this, so don't worry about your grade. Also, if there is any other essays in the making, you should probably double-check them." The professor smiled at him, and took the essay gently from him. "I don't know what professor Sinistra would say about this sort of thing, for example. By hippogriff's feathers, I don't even wish to think about that."

Remus smiled at her faintly. "Thank you, professor."

She nodded, and walked behind her desk, making it possible for Remus to leave.

As he walked out of the classroom, he snorted at the nearest painting, "It's not like I'm going to get an O in Astronomy anyway."

"You all got detention?" Remus asked his friends exhaustedly, turning his eyes finally to Sirius. His frown deepened for some reason. "Even you?"

They were standing in front of the Charms classroom, waiting for the lesson to start. Professor Flitwick was late as usual – not that any of them really minded; Sirius, for example, could have invented a lot more stimulating activies than turning objects into furniture. Then again who knew, maybe one day they needed that sort of skill.

As Remus was staring at them sadly, the three boys, for their part, stared at their respective sneakers. Sirius mutteredt to his knees, "Yeah."

Waving at some younger passers-by, Lily snorted behind Remus, "Newsflash that one."

"No one asked you anything, Evans," Sirius snarled at her, and earned a quite painful smack on the back of the head from James.

Naturally Potter failed to notice the small thankful smile Lily gave him.

"We must postpone the tutoring to tomorrow then." Remus shrugged at Black, who was staring at him like a freshly kicked puppy. Remus was gazing back at him very pathetically, his brows knitted tightly together, and his chin all wizened – but still it wasn't anywhere near the look Sirius had on his mug. Now that was absolutely heartbreaking.

Behind them Lily had nailed her eyes on James, and was making meaningful faces to him, but of course the boy didn't understand anything. First, she made sure that Sirius was still ravishing Remus with his eyes (like he was going to stop any time soon) and mouthed to James, "The plan!"

James suddenly cleared his throat, and nonobviously bumped into Sirius, his elbow first and digging between Sirius' shoulder blades. "Oh yeah! No, you should still do the tutoring thingy today, after detention! No matter how late it gets, tutoring's more important than sleeping. Obviously. No doubt about it."

"Yes," Lily piped helpfully in behind Remus. She moved next to him, snaking her arm into the loop of the one he had on his hip. Remus frowned at her, but she didn't falter more than she had planned. "Because you know... for, that is, tomorrow it's –"

"Tomorrow's the Quidditch game!" James suddenly yelped, making a series of majestic hand movements. Remus and Sirius stared at them both suspiciously.

"What does that have anything to do with –" Lupin tried, but Lily interrupted him.

"You know how great our house team is, don't you, sweetie?" Lily said to him. She flashed another exaggerative smile, but naturally that only made the boys more dubious. "I'm certain that James and..." Her eyes widened as she tried to remember what she was going to say. "And... his team will win tomorrow!"

"That's right, we're absolutely brilliant," James nodded, crossing his arms on his chest. "The Ravenclaws got no chance. And you both know how our house likes to party when we win... Yeah? We will win tomorrow, won't we, Padfoot?"

Black leaned closer to poke his friend on the cheek. Squinting, he muttered, "You're not usually this optimistic. You know your team is rubbish."

Lily ignored Sirius, and agreed with James. "So you see, you two cannot possibly study tomorrow, not when the common room is full of... of –"

"Drunken morons," Peter helped from the shadows, in which he had obviously been left to rotten. Lily pointed a finger at him.

"Yes! Drunken morons," she repeated, and turned back to Remus, who was just staring at her. "I'm talking about abysmally... ghastly, drunken morons. You know the type, they're everywhere these days. You cannot go buy shoes without them trailing you."

"You can't escape them." James shook his head sadly. He turned his eyes to Sirius. "There is no other way than to join them, peacefully."

Remus frowned as he tried to piece the whole thing together. "So we must study today, because tomorrow we are forced to be inebriated even though we might not want that?" As James and Lily shook their heads to him, he then muttered to the latter, "I don't think I can handle that again."

She only winked at him, nodding reassuringly.

"We're going to be in...vertebrates? Why?" Sirius asked, but no one explained.

James kept nodding too. "Yes, very much so. Absolutely dazed and confused... because of spirits, and most likely without our spines."

Sirius grumbled to Remus, "What the bloody hell is happening?" He turned to James and Lily. "Why are you two co-operating?"

They didn't answer him.

Lupin opened his mouth as if to say something to the annoyingly nodding duo, but changed his mind. He turned to Sirius with his already beseeching eyes. "I suppose we can still study tonight? It will probably be late, but if you want to..."

Sirius immediately forgot his bafflement and smiled at him contently, "I'm fine with late if you are."

As soon as the blind lovebirds resumed their subtle staring contest, Lily sighed relieved. She smiled at James once more, and said inaudibly, "Good job."

Remus had been waiting Sirius to return from his detention in the library, but he had estimated the timing wrong and had fallen asleep. His head was resting on top a thick book called Potions for Hairy Problems of which he had only gotten to the second chapter ("How to Brew Your Own Liquid Beard") before dozing off. Lily had scampered off to Merlin-knows-where, and oddly enough, even Madame Pince hadn't woken him up.

Perhaps he already had a VIP pass to the place.

When Sirius then poked him in the shoulder some time later, the werewolf opened his groggy eyes and directed them slowly at the standing boy. He observed Sirius; the bloke was absolutely drenched, and his hair was uncharacteristically messed up – the detention had obviously been a tough one. Remus lifted his head and smiled tiredly at the boy. "You got away from her."

"Yeah, what a murderer that one," Sirius muttered and sat next to him. "I'm soaked to the bloody bone."

Lupin focused his eyes on him, and stared at him assertively. "I can see that."

"Are you all right? Why are you staring?"

The lycanthrope suddenly thought it to be a great idea to rise from his chair, and with a slight creak of wood against the stone floor he did just that; he took a sad half a step, and he was standing directly in front of Sirius. The boy frowned at him from below, but otherwise didn't move much. Water dripped from his lashes as he blinked, "Remus, what are you doing?"

Lupin lowered himself on Sirius' lap, straddling him, and was pleasantly surprised when the slightly gasping boy didn't push him away. He easily forced Sirius to sit in the broad library chair, running a pale hand across his cold cheekbone. He nailed his topaz eyes on Sirius' slightly open lips, and muttered, "I'm not sure."

"You're..." Sirius began, but his sentence was cut off by a hasty mouth. A scrawny hand snaked up to his neck as if to steady him so he'd be easier to kiss.

But of course to Remus' annoyance Sirius pulled away from the contact, and after getting his eyes fixed on Remus' face, he frowned at him. He took a breath and then murmured with slightly lower voice, "I thought you didn't want me to kiss you."

Lupin traced his inky thumb against Sirius' lower lip. He smirked faintly, leaning towards the boy and whispering, "That was then."

Sirius' hungry hands attacked him, grasping him wherever he could, tugging his warm, dry clothes and pulling him closer against his own wet body. Eventually it didn't take him that much effort to lift Remus off his lap, and to place him down onto the overladen study table like a tablecloth. That was the first time Remus didn't mind his books fell on the floor.

"Remus..."

The werewolf grinned under him, and pulled Sirius' tie to get him even closer. Against his lips Remus murmured, "Sirius... take off those wet clothes. Please."

Sirius watched him with dark eyes. "Remus?"

After pressing another quick kiss on his lips, Remus smiled warmly at him. "Please."

"Remus, wake up!"

Lupin opened his eyes swiftly, and immediately saw Lily smirking down at him. He swept a drip of saliva from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve. "Sorry, did you say something?"

"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

The boy closed his eyes again, and groaned against the common room study table, "Oh god."

"I never would've thought I was going to say this out loud during my life, but bloody hell studying sounds nice," Sirius mumbled cheek against the oak surface of the very same table Remus had drooled on previously.

Remus knew a lot of things.

He had memorised Libatius Borage's book Advanced Potion-Making from cover to cover, and if wanted he could brew a perfect dose of Felix Felicis to last for a single lifetime. He could read three different languages addition to English, including Latin. He knew how much Sirius loved Muggle rock music and how much his mother had hated it when he had lived home. He was aware that before discovering his fear of heights, Peter had wanted to become a Beater in the Quidditch house team, and that Lily hated snakes and James barbers. He knew all the lyrics to his favourite Beatles songs.

And despite all that he had never been a bragger. If someone asked him a question, he would answer it the best way he knew how, but he never flaunted his erudition or know-how.

That been said, Remus also knew that he had almost (almost!) seen an unacceptably lewd dream about his friend, and that he was definitely not ready to brag about that to anyone. Lily knew about it, but only what she had heard.

The aforementioned friend – Sirius, not Lily – was now sprawled on the common room table in front him, and in his guts Remus felt the whole tutoring thing was going to be the very end of him. It was already 10.30pm, but Remus had promised to wait for him.

As he tried not to ogle at Sirius with his sleepy eyes, Remus rearranged the six rolls of parchment and different kinds of quills on the table for the fifth time within five minutes.

Sirius glanced at him suspiciously.

Even though he was ready to fall on the floor and sleep there, Remus was certain he should say a word or two to seem normal. Should he? He blinked as his tired brain made life-changing decisions.

"It probably wasn't that bad," he then mumbled and took a red quill in his hands. Sirius raised his head, and kept his glimmering grey eyes steady on the slightly tense werewolf.

"170 pillows," he whined. He blew a strand of hair from his exhausted face. "That's 169 pillows too much for one person."

Lupin yawned, and tried to keep his eyes on the overly interesting quills. Quills, no – pillows, pillows. "I have three pillows."

"Well yeah," Sirius began, staring at him. "There's a huge difference. You deserve the extra ones."

"Thank you," Remus said, and closed his eyes for a moment. After the said moment, he opened them again – naturally, he couldn't have kept them closed or he might have started snoring – and continued, "But I'm sure they're not just for her."

The werewolf missed the frown on Sirius' face. He heard how the boy slammed his forehead back against the table. "I don't care who they belong to. She shouldn't have forced me to dust all of them. I'm nearly dead."

Remus ogled at the intriguing equipment on the table.

He had now arranged the quills six times, in six different ways, and he knew he should stop, or otherwise he might look like he had an OCD. Thankfully there weren't that many people in the common room to witness his obvious mental breakdown, only Sirius. Remus smiled to himself; somehow Sirius had the presence of twenty people, he made the room feel full even though it wasn't. Remus left the quills alone, intertwined his fingers so they wouldn't fiddle with anything, and took a quick glimpse at Sirius. "From what I gathered... it seems you had it rather easy."

"Well... serves Pete right for being such a thickhead."

It was strange; Sirius was constantly staring at him, but now when his eyes weren't visible to Remus, he wanted to grab the boy's absurdly handsome face and make it so he had no other choice than to continue staring at Remus.

Remus licked his lips. Why did the fact that Sirius wasn't watching at him distract him more than the actual staring?

He was at total loss of how to act, or what to think. His eyes felt droopy, but he ignored it. "Did he really have to alphabetise all her books?"

Sirius turned his head so he was able to see the werewolf, and Remus' breath almost (almost!) hitched in his lungs – even though he knew those eyes were icy grey, the way they seemed cold, yet oddly warm at that moment was overwhelming to him. To make things perfectly clear, Remus wasn't obsessed at all; he could have just spent hours comparing that particular shade of grey to any other in existance, only finding it to be too singular for anything to match.

Under his gaze Black grunted, "Yeah, and he wasn't even allowed to ask any help from us. Talk about a chore. But like I said, serves him right."

"I'm amazed how..." Remus started, and almost too late realised that what he was actually going to say had nothing to do with the subject of the conversation. He quickly corrected his unfolding thoughts. "Ah, how he managed to sort them before tomorrow."

Sirius stretched his long arms on the table, laid his head on them, and yawned. He kept his eyes on the staring werewolf. "James should have done that, he thinks he's so amazing with letters."

Remus knew exactly what hanging out with Lily and her romance novels had done to him when he was actually wondering the contrast between Sirius' black hair and his strangely fair but not pale complexion. When had he become this soft? Nonsense; his head full was full of it. Remus shook his head slightly, as if it as going to help him organise his thoughts. He tried to count to ten again, but it was fairly difficult with a sleepy brain. One, two, Sirius, no, four... No, three, Sirius... Five? Black. Fine, ten.

"Are you all right?"

"Tired," Lupin mumbled instantly, and then barely snapped out of his daydream. "I... I was just thinking that it was probably for the best she didn't let Peter near the tapestries."

Sirius said nothing, only rested his head on his arms and stared at Remus. The werewolf tried to keep his head together despite the nagging fact that his mind was constantly reminding him of the dream Sirius, dripping wet and on the table, on him.

Try to focus, Lupin.

Stupid drowsy brain, what are you thinking? Strange thoughts, that's what. Stop thinking. Remus bit his tongue.

"Have I told you I fancy you?"

Again Lupin shook his head tiredly. "You haven't today."

Sirius' cheek was pressed firmly on his robes as he murmured, "Well, you know I do."

"Yes." Lupin yawned again, and finally untangled his sweaty hands, pressing them on his mouth. He realised he had moved to the edge of his seat at some point, and had to shift his position so he wouldn't soon hang on the table as Sirius did. How stupid he would look. Sirius was elegant, he really was, even when he was bushed and slouching on a table. That notion made Remus smile. "You do, don't you."

"Do you fancy me yet?"

What could he answer? That yes, of course he liked Sirius, in a friendly way... but also in a more unfamiliar way, which had started to surface every time Remus was alone with him. Could he say that he liked Sirius in a way that he wanted to have those special grey eyes on him all day long, every day? That he wanted to inhale that almost non-existent scent, which reminded him of cornflowers, resin and the sea, fill his lungs with it and breathe it out when –

Oh shut up, you idiot.

Waiting Remus' answer, Black yawned and moved slightly in his place, still keeping his eyes on him.

As he stared at Sirius almost if dazed – in all honesty, that's exactly what he was – Remus realised that his brain had fallen asleep. No thinking; no strange, confusing thoughts, or distracting mental images. Rather enjoyable actually, the silence of the thinking tool. Just say what comes to your mind.

So naturally Remus mumbled jadedly, "You smell."

"I do?" Sirius asked, and sniffed his robes. He coughed. "Oh, that's just dust. I'm covered in it. Sorry."

Lupin lifted his right hand on the table and leaned into it. "No, you smell nice."

"Wel,l I smell like the library now, and you love the place, so..." Sirius sat up slowly, and dusted his robes carefully. "It's kind of understandable, you know?"

His cheek mushed and eyes fixated on Sirius, Remus muttered, "Your hair..."

"What of it?" The boy cocked a curious brow, and exhaustedly ran a hand through his hair. He grimaced slightly. "Oh."

"It's very... black. And shiny."

Sirius shook his head. "And dusty. I should probably take a shower before going to bed."

Remus' eyes drooped. He tried to blink to keep them open, but of course he only managed to make them water. "Yes, perhaps you should, showering is pleasant. I could use a shower."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Black asked, sat back down, and scooted closer to Remus with his chair. He leaned in, pressing his palms on Remus' legs, and studied the boy's face. His right thumb was drawing circles on Remus' thigh. "You're babbling again."

Lupin opened his eyes, and as he saw the grey irises right in front of him, he smiled wearily at them. "Babbling is my professor. I don't babble." He swallowed hard. "Your eyes are black."

"My eyes are grey," Sirius told him, and laughed a bit. "You know that, right? Are you really this sleepy? Should I get you to bed?"

The smiled waved a bit in front of Sirius as Remus shook his head. "Smouldering eyes they are... I like your nose."

Sirius' hands left the boy's legs and grabbed his shoulders. "Okay, you're falling now."

"I'm very warm."

"Yes you are," Sirius breathed as he tried to keep Remus from falling onto the floor. Remus' head rested against his shoulder, and Sirius wrapped his arms around him. "But seriously, don't sleep here. Open your eyes. You have to go to bed, or you'll have a sore neck."

Remus muttered, "You... my god, I am sleepy."

"I'm your god? Thank you," Sirius chuckled. "I'm very flattered."

Flattered... Something ticked inside Remus' head, but then he forgot it.

Well, it probably wasn't that important.

He blinked couple of times, and realised that Sirius was only inches away from him, steading him now on the chair again so he wouldn't fall into his lap. Remus frowned, "Why you are flattered?"

"Well, usually for lots of reasons, but at the moment, evidently my eyes are smouldering." Sirius laughed tiredly. "See? These two peepers. Are you sure you don't want to go to bed?"

Somewhere deep in his brain Remus wanted to say something very intelligent, so of course his mouth let out, "No, I'm... ugh."

"Well then, don't worry, Ugh, I'll let go of you." Sirius placed the half asleep boy against the table and let go off his shoulders. "Don't want to make you nervous. That's... the last thing I want to do."

"I'm not nervous," Lupin muttered against the table. "I'm tired. I'm never nervous, well... I am sometimes, but certainly not now." He yawned. "Not with you."

"That's good." Sirius nodded and moved his chair closer so their knees touched. He pressed his head next to Remus' on the table, and as he did so, his nose was now only inches away from Lupin's. "But even if you were, nervous I mean, it wouldn't matter. I think you're kind of cute when you're nervous."

Remus kept his eyes closed as he murmured, "Did I say your eyes are smouldering?"

"Yeah."

The lycanthrope barely managed to stifle a yawn. "That's like a line from some god-awful romance novel."

Sirius smiled at him. "Wasn't that bad. I've heard worse."

"I have no idea what's happening to me."

Watching the hardly conscious boy in front of him, Sirius breathed, "There are two possible explanations. One, your amazingly brilliant brain is shrivelling, and by the end of tomorrow it'll be only a ghost of the mouldy raisin that currently resides inside Pete's humongous melon."

"I hope it's not that one," Remus said tiredly, and moved his face closer to the exuding warmth of Sirius. He could have slept right there; Sirius' utterly relaxing presence would have made that very easy. "I like my brain."

"Well, to be honest, I hope it's the other one, too, because our mischief-making business can't afford losing your wits."

Remus murmured with his eyes half-closed, "The second one?"

Black glanced around the common room, and after noticing they were alone, he said, "It's better."

He then slowly rose from his chair and softly yanked Remus up from his, probably spraining his every muscle while doing so for Remus was that limp, and the geek was too sleepy and too baffled to resist when Sirius pulled him into a tight embrace. Remus immediately relaxed against him as the familiar radiating warmth emitted from the boy and kept him still. Almost asleep but still able to stand, he grabbed Sirius' shirt front, and pressed his nose into the shirt.

"You see... the second possible explanation is," Black whispered and shivered when Remus moved and pressed his half asleep, blushing face against his throat. "Is... that you really fancy me back."

Remus knew a lot of things.

At that moment he knew it was partially Sirius' fault that his brain was malfunctioning; he knew – no, he was certain that Sirius loved him even if Lily had said otherwise, and that if he would have kissed the Animagus right at that moment, he would have kissed him back.

Remus knew that what he felt for Sirius was more than just something.

A/N: MUSHY? Aye.

Remus saw a dream about himself sleeping? [Insert a dry Inception joke here.] So... a broom closet sounds nice right about now, yes? Opinions and suggestions are welcome. IMA BE WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO BE, oh wait... no...

If you're wondering why Remus sucks so much with the plan – he basically forgets it completely when he's with Sirius. Had Lily and James only known this... Well, who would have thought Remus could have hard time concentrating on anything? The guy reads a frigging dictionary before he gets to sleep. He has a bad case of Black-ADD.

And in case you're wondering, Sirius and James love each other very much, even though they fight constantly and call each other those beautiful 'pet names'. They're like brothers, they would die for each other. I have three brothers, so yes; I know what I'm talking about.

(BTW, has anyone noticed how I'm naming my chapters? It's fairly visible in the drop menu on top of the page. Tip; check out the first letters of each chapter.)