Chapter 10
Tony blinks awake.
A few seconds of staring at the dark ceiling later and his brain is picking up right where it left off when he fell asleep a few hours ago, already running at full speed.
He sighs. His brain just doesn't lend itself to dozing. It's already incredibly hard for him to shut off his mind enough to be able to fall asleep in the first place and once he becomes even slightly aware of the outside world, he goes from asleep to fully awake within moments.
Oh, how he sometimes wishes he could simply stay in bed and rest for another hour or so from time to time. But alas, his brain would promptly shrivel up in boredom.
It's one of the drawbacks of being a genius.
FRIDAY is already fading out the blinds to let in some daylight and with a sigh Tony blinks the sleep out of his eyes.
He pulls himself upright, "Good morning, Fry."
"Good morning, boss. It is 7.54am, the weather is cloudy and in the high 80s. The forecast promises rain in the evening. Your first appointment today is a video call with Susan Storm and her team at 11.30am, followed by a meeting with the SI board of directors and another video conference with the UN Committee for Planetary Defense. You have also asked me to remind you to arrange a meeting with Ms. Jennifer Walters this week."
Tony nods, "Right. Thanks, baby girl."
Sounds like yet another busy day.
God, Tony is exhausted. That mission yesterday really took a lot out of him.
He only made it to bed around 5.30am, after waking the Spiderling - who had fallen asleep on his couch - and sending him home to get ready for school before his aunt noticed him missing.
And despite Tony now being dead tired, missing a few hours of sleep in order to watch Peter excitedly bounce around his penthouse in his new spidersuit had still definitely been worth it.
Tony honestly lost count of the number of times the Spiderling thanked him yesterday or asked whether the suit was truly for him or exclaimed about this being the best day of his life or discovered another feature of the suit to rave about. Only to then thank Tony once more and start the cycle all over again.
Seriously, Tony hasn't seen anyone this excited about one of his gifts in... dear god, possibly ever.
Which is honestly a little sad, considering that Tony so likes giving gifts.
Well, his friends have long since stopped thanking him profusely for the things Tony hands them and instead they simply reciprocate, knowing that Tony's random gift giving is just his way to show his appreciation, to show that he cares.
Just last week, he received a package of that specially imported fancy kind of coffee – the kind that tastes like heaven but that Tony always forgets to order – from Pepper for the coffee machine in his workshop, entirely unprompted. And Happy just so happened to have Tony's favorite pastry - from that one German bakery across town that Tony loves but never has the time to actually visit – on hand last time he visited SI. And Rhodey has recently discovered Iron Patriot memes – Tony refuses to use the name War Machine – and is now seemingly trying to make Tony giggle himself to death while he is away on base by spamming his phone with the most absurd memes of all time. Some of the stuff that tumblr comes up with had Tony giggling sporadically for hours.
Point is, whenever he shows up with another random, stupidly expensive gift or hands them another coincidentally perfectly customized piece of tech, Rhodey, Pepper and Happy simply return the gesture.
Although, sometimes it's just a simple, honest thanks works just as well for Tony.
Because while he knows about his tendency to downplay just how much thought and time and effort he puts into any personalized tech, how many failed attempts and tests he goes through to make sure it is absolutely perfect, he also thinks it should be rather obvious that perfectly customized tech doesn't just fall out of trees.
But well, apparently not. Just ask the team. Tony counted himself lucky on the days he got a vague 'Thanks, Tony.' thrown in his direction after handing the Avengers entirely new, perfectly customized gadgets he had spent days or even weeks designing, testing, manufacturing, optimizing.
Honestly, the Spiderling's complete and utter awe at the new suit might just be the best thanks Tony has gotten for one of his presents in years.
And afterwards, once the kid had finally calmed down a little - although clearly still hopped up on adrenaline - Tony had made Peter sit down and talk through their entire fire rescue mission. They had discussed any actions taken, their reasoning, any doubts about what could maybe have been done better and how to possibly fix it next time. The way debriefings were supposed to go.
And apparently, it had also been necessary, because once Tony had finally managed to sit the kid down, the first thing out of Peter's mouth had been an apology for showing up so late to help with the fire in the first place. Which, what? Yeah, Tony hadn't been able to just let that stand.
All in all, it had taken them almost an hour to talk through the entire mission but afterwards Peter had looked much lighter than before they had started.
So apparently, regular debriefings are going to be a thing from now on. Because if a simple talk after a mission - with no casualties and no damages done - already has such a big effect on Peter...
Tony hasn't directly asked Peter but based on FRIDAY's data he is fairly certain that the kid hasn't told anyone else about being Spiderman. Which means that Peter currently doesn't have anyone to talk to about his superheroing - and the many many doubts that come with trying to make the right decisions - either.
Which just means that from now on Tony will have to make sure to regularly check in with Peter, if only to make sure that the kid doesn't ever end up in the same sort of dark space Tony had found himself in more than once, when a mission goes wrong, when the death toll from a mission is higher than the number of people you were able to save, when the doubts start overtaking your conviction. It's a dark place to be and not one Tony wishes for the kid to ever find himself in.
Yep, regular debriefings are definitely going to be a thing from now on. Maybe once a week or something? It's not like it is a hardship to have the kid bouncing around his penthouse more often.
Although, even Peter's adrenaline had worn off after they had gotten through their debriefing and the kid had promptly crashed, literally falling asleep between one sentence and the next.
Which had left Tony with a sleeping Spiderling on his couch. And he just hadn't had the heart to wake the kid.
So, instead of going to bed and getting some much needed sleep himself, Tony had settled on the opposite couch with his StarkPad, so he could wake Peter in time for school. Which he admittedly could have asked FRIDAY to do as well, but then the kid would have woken up in Tony's penthouse without a familiar face around and that just didn't sit right with Tony.
And no, he was not motherhenning, no matter what his Rhodey bear has been saying whenever Tony mentions the overly excitable Spiderling.
Tony doesn't motherhen. He doesn't.
He only stayed in the living room to wake the kid because Tony had work to do anyways. Like going through the material on the Defenders and the Fantastic Four FRIDAY had gathered for him. Tony has been planning to bring both groups up to speed about the details of the DIA deal - just so they are aware of the precedent - as well as about the looming Accords.
And it is high time that Tony finally gets around to building that superhero network he has been devising in his head.
See, work!
It has nothing to do with making sure the kid gets to school on time or doesn't fall off the couch in his sleep or doesn't wake up all alone in unfamiliar surroundings.
...
Well alright, so maybe Tony does motherhen Peter a little. But come on, who would be able to resist? Rhodey just doesn't have any idea what he is talking about. So, Tony just takes a picture of the just-awake Peter to thrust into Rhodey's face the next time he makes fun of Tony for thinking a teenager is adorable, so he can challenge his platypus to claim he would be able to resist motherhenning the kid.
Because kittens and puppies have nothing on a sleepy-eyed Peter - hair sticking up every which way, pillow creases on his cheek - munching on two of Thor's poptarts at the same time, almost falling asleep between bites. It is quite honestly the most adorable thing Tony has ever seen in his life. And now he has proof to make his platypus eat his words.
So, hah!
Anyways. All in all, it was a rather... odd night, what with the fire and the kid and the suit. And less than three hours of sleep for Tony.
Because adorable Spiderlings aside, Tony feels more exhausted now than he did before he even went to bed. He really is getting old. Oh no, soon he'll start needing a full eight hours of sleep like normal people!
Good lord, how will I get anything done if I ever have to start spending a third of the day sleeping?!
Alas, exhaustion or not, he's got shit to do.
So, important things first. The life-giving elixir that is coffee.
Half an hour later he is in his kitchen, ready for the day and mainlining coffee.
He is always quick to get ready in the morning. Seriously, he doesn't get why everyone always seems to think Tony would take forever in the bathroom.
Sure, he is certainly vain enough to never leave the house looking anything but perfectly styled, but trimming his beard is the only thing that really takes up time in his morning routine.
There is a reason why his hairdressers make more money than an average banker just off of Tony. He is convinced Lou and Lina are artists in their own right, because no matter the hairstyle they always manage to cut his hair in a way that only requires Tony to run his hands through it with a little bit of product every morning and voila, perfect hair.
Even Pepper was regularly surprised just how quickly Tony got ready every morning. And she had been his PA for years.
But whatever.
Tony blissfully sips at his coffee while standing at his kitchen counter and scrolling through some schematics R&D sent him just an hour ago for the clean water filter they have been working on for one of SI's more recent humanitarian projects.
FRIDAY speaks up. "Boss, there is a call from Ms. Potts on the line for you."
Tony raises his eyebrows, surprised at the relatively early call. "Put her through, Fry."
There is the standard tone announcing the transfer, before it connects.
"Morning, Pep." He greets even as he refills his coffee for the third time.
"Good morning, Tony." Pepper says crisply.
And oh please, no. Tony knows that tone. It means there is trouble.
As expected, Pepper's next sentence is accompanied by a heavy sigh, "I have Rogers on the other line. Tony, we have a problem."
He really should have just stayed in bed.
So.
Turns out, that at some point over the past year Tony should really have made sure that the Avengers as a whole have the common sense and the common fucking courtesy to only reply to emails they have actually bothered to read.
Because - apparently - the team hasn't actually been reading all those emails from Tony, Pepper, SI legal, the DIA and assorted others about the DIA deal.
Because - wait for it - it's not only a surprise to the team that the deal is already in effect. Oh no. Even the fact that Tony has been talking to the DIA at all is complete news to them.
Who the fuck responds to emails they haven't actually read?! Tony thinks, absolutely furious as he gets into the car to take him to SI.
Because if Steve didn't know about the deal despite responding to the emails about the negotiations, the only explanation is that he replied without actually reading anything that so much as mentioned Tony's name.
And Tony can already feel a headache coming on.
Because just yesterday - when Tony could really have used some help rescuing civilians from a burning building - they had been in Prague of all places. And if Tony didn't send them because of his intel and they weren't sent by the DIA because of their intel... then what the fuck was the team doing over in Europe?!
No matter whether they went on an unsanctioned mission based on intel from god knows where, or whether they just went jet-setting around the world for some sightseeing, either way it implies a gross misuse of funds. Because Tony is just going to assume that the team didn't sacrifice their comfort and booked seats on a commercial airplane, not with a readily available Quinjet on site, spoiled lot that they are.
He takes a deep breath, trying to use the few minutes it will take to get to SI to calm down. He doesn't want to explode in their faces the same way he knows they will explode in his. No. He is not part of the team anymore. They don't get to deal with Tony the friend anymore - especially seeing as they so clearly don't have any interest in staying in contact with him going by their absolute radio silence - so now they get to deal with Tony the business man. Maybe not entirely but if they come to him as the Avengers, the brand he owns then they will be treated in that capacity. He will not be let himself be treated like a doormat by them. At the very least, he ows that much self-respect to his three friends who have stuck with him through everything.
His three friends, who came over just two days ago to celebrate the fact that Tony wouldn't have to deal with the team any longer.
Life sure likes its ironies.
But, how ever did the Avengers suddenly become aware of the DIA deal at all, you might ask?
Well, you would be right in assuming that it's certainly not because they suddenly started feeling bad about ignoring numerous emails - some of which including the President of the United States himself as a recipient for god's sake - oh, no.
No, the Avengers suddenly became aware of the deal, simply because they got a call from SI's PR department asking about the agreed upon meet-and-greet between the team, the DIA and Tony at the Compound.
The DIA bigwigs had asked Tony for a tour of the Compound the very day the deal had been signed. And Tony thought it would to be a great way to metaphorically hand over the keys and to formally introduce everyone, before he could then remove himself from the equation entirely.
So, in order to set up that tour, some poor PR underling had called Steve to ask about possible scheduling conflicts. Only to be entirely blind-sided by the team's surprise as to why a supposedly random government agency would suddenly want to meet them.
Not knowing how to handle a bunch of ignorant superheroes, that employee had then quickly passed the call on to his superior, starting a trend until the call ultimately reached Pepper's desk.
Tony is honestly somewhat amazed that no one folded and just transferred the call to him directly, as he knows Steve would have demanded. His employees are nothing if not loyal to hold out against Captain America himself. They clearly deserve something nice. Maybe a bonus, or a company-wide day off or a retreat to the Bahamas or something. He'll ask Pepper once they got this mess sorted out. She'll know.
And Pepper - after having been briefed by her underling as to the problem - had promptly called Tony so he could listen in, before even picking up the call.
Tony had even managed to remain entirely silent throughout.
Because when faced with Pepper instead of Tony, Steve had at least remained somewhat cordial in his anger. Although, he had of course promptly demanded for Pepper to send Tony to the Compound to explain himself - as though Tony were a misbehaving child - but Pepper's response had shut him down so fast there should be tire tracks in the Compound somewhere from Steve breaking so hard.
Long story short, they - Tony, Pepper, Trenton and the entire Avengers team - are now all meeting at SI. To discuss a deal Tony has been negotiating for months whilst under the impression that all involved parties were fully informed and fully on board.
Dear god, can't the team just once try not to make Tony's life harder than it needs to be?
Tony watches as Steve continues to verbally vent his anger as he paces at the other side of the table. Tony is already sick of listening to the accusations.
They are in one of SI's conference rooms. Tony is sitting between Pepper on his left and Trenton - who has been the most heavily involved in the DIA deal negotiations and was thankfully able to shift his schedule on such short notice to come as well - on his right and the team has taken up the other side of the table with Steve originally sitting in the seat across from Tony and the others spreading out on both sides.
Only Vision is sitting off to the side, having separated himself from the others and watching the happenings with a slight frown on his face.
"How could you just make a decision like that without discussing it with the team first?!" Steve asks angrily - yet again - but at least he finally sits back down in his chair again.
Because according to Steve, somehow - and completely unsurprisingly - this is all Tony's fault.
And Tony just agitatedly runs a hand through his hair but doesn't attempt to respond to Cap's repeated accusations. Steve had talked right over him the first time Tony tried to tell him that he had in fact kept the team informed and Tony is so done with this shit, he is just utterly unwilling to lower himself to the level of trying to yell over another adult in what should be a very serious discussion. So, now Tony is just waiting for Cap's rant to come to some sort of close, so they can then have an actual conversation. You know the grown-up sort.
Good god, he does not have the patience to deal with this shit right now. Tony only has another hour before his conference call with the Fantastic Four to discuss their take on the Accords. At least with those four he can rely on rational thinking and some damn common sense. Because Susan is the real power behind that team and she is one of the most sensible and compassionate people Tony has the pleasure of knowing.
In direct contrast to Tony's former team, with the leader throwing a damn tantrum and none of the team members speaking up to interrupt Steve's rather lengthy - and so very unproductive - accusatory rant.
Natashalie is just watching everyone as per usual, most likely trying to figure out the best angle for bending the situation to her will. From next to her, Wilson is frowning at Tony accusingly - although Tony really has no idea why, goddammit, he doesn't even know the guy - and the witch is glaring daggers at Tony, Pepper and Trenton in turn - probably hating the latter two simply by association.
As always, they are all happy to let Cap lay the blame for this particular clusterfuck at Tony's feet.
This is just like any other time where Cap is convinced he is right and talks over him until Tony is so damn tired of repeating himself that he simply admits fault where there is none just so he can get out of the damn conversation. And then that admission of guilt is held over his head for-fucking-ever.
Sheesh, his platypus was right. He really let himself be treated like a doormat.
But thankfully this time is different. Because this time, Tony isn't part of the team anymore. This time, Rhodey has successfully driven 'You don't owe those fuckers anything!' through his thick head. And this time, Tony brought Pepper.
Whose patience has clearly reached its limit after listening to Steve rant continuously for several minutes.
"Mr. Rogers." She doesn't even raise her voice, but Pepper still easily gathers everyone's attention onto herself.
Well, Cap turns to face her almost angrily, but then falters slightly when confronted with her stern expression.
Pepper continues calmly, "Mr. Rogers, I would very much like for you to calm down, so as to give me a chance to at least respond to your accusations."
Wanda mutters something, but it's too quiet to make out. Although, Tony is just going to assume it's nothing complimentary to him or to Pepper.
Pepper just ignores the witch completely and continues to stare down Captain America.
Who crosses his arms and leans back in his seat. "Please, Ms. Potts, explain to me how Tony could just hand over the Avengers to the government." He looks back towards Tony, saying with less anger but even more recrimination, "We really should have expected something like this when we suddenly couldn't reach you anymore!"
And despite his own anger and frustration at this mess, Tony is starting to actually feel a little baffled at Cap's vehemence and anger.
Because - putting the question of who is to blame for this mess aside - Tony actually understands why this development might be quite a shock for the team if they really didn't know about him negotiating the deal at all. But on the other hand, it's not like Tony outsourced mission control to just anyone. It's the US government for god's sake.
So, Tony is honestly surprised - and even growing slightly suspicious - as to why Steve looks almost frantic at the mere idea of being re-integrated into the US government. This is the same guy who committed several felonies whilst trying to fraudulently join the US military during the last World War. So, why in the world is Cap currently almost panicking at the thought of being under government oversight again?
"Mr. Rogers." Pepper repeats. Ah, making Pepper repeat herself is never a good idea.
Steve halts again, but doesn't drop his accusing expression or his intimidating pose. Pepper just looks utterly unimpressed. As the CEO of SI, she has long since become immune to any sort of posturing.
She remains absolutely calm as she says, "Mr. Rogers, ever since Tony started the negotiations for reintegrating the Avengers into the US intelligence agency system all relevant information has been forwarded to you via email."
Steve promptly claims, "I already said, I never saw any emails!"
Now, Pepper's expression is beginning to completely frost over and Tony is suddenly glad that they are having this confrontation without any outsiders present. Lest anyone witness Tony's CEO ramming her high heels down Captain America's throat.
"Mr. Rogers, please stop denying everything out of hand without any thought as to what might have actually happened. Clearly there was some sort of miscommunication. Because you have been replying to some of the emails that listed the details of the negotiations. While you definitely didn't reply to all of them and certainly not in a particularly verbose manner, you still undeniably confirmed your and the team's agreement to this arrangement."
Now Cap looks honestly startled. Clearly, Steve had truly no idea what was going on.
Which at least clears up whether this is some sort of ploy. No, Cap just fucked up.
That's something to be grateful for at least. Idiocy from the team - as in replying to emails without reading them - Tony can deal with, at least much better than if it had been intentional sabotage - as in knowing but still claiming ignorance to get their way. But somehow, this revelation only increases Tony's simmering anger.
Tony doesn't even know which part of this situation is making him so very furiously angry, whether it's having Steve immediately start throwing accusations of heinous intent in his direction without any sort of hesitation, or whether it's his disappointment at the fact that the team had not kept out of the negotiations because they trusted Tony to negotiate the best possible deal for the team. No, they simply hadn't known.
Up until this morning, Tony hadn't even realized that he had finally reached some level of acceptance regarding his role on the team. Seeing as they hadn't interfered with the negotiations at all, Tony had come to grips with the fact that while the team clearly had no interest in keeping in touch with him on a personal level they at least trusted him in his capacity as the team's diplomat and negotiator. Tony could live with that.
So, his disappointment at realizing that the team neither likes him enough to keep in touch nor trusts him enough to do the job he had been doing ever since SHIELD's fall... well, what the fuck is he supposed to do with this revelation?
But seeing as Steve finally seems at least somewhat willing to listen, Tony does his best to calm his seething anger at the entire situation as he says, "Steve, a few days before the deal was finalized I not only sent you an email with the complete document, asking for a final confirmation from you and the team. Which you replied to with something along the lines of 'All is good, thanks for keeping us up to date.'. It was in CC to all involved parties, including the goddamn President of the United States."
Steve looks shocked. Whether at Tony's claim or at the obvious anger that bled into that last sentence, Tony doesn't know and doesn't even particularly care. He breathes out silently trying to calm himself.
Thankfully, everyone is distracted for a few moments by Pepper and Trenton nodding at his sides, confirming his claim. Tony had actually sent that particular email with the specific goal of avoiding a situation like this. Because he still couldn't quite believe that the team was simply okay with the changes, that they would trust Tony to entirely negotiate a deal on their behalf without their input.
He honestly could've done without the vindication of being right for once.
Having found his calm again, he finally continues, "But we also talked on the phone the day before the deal was signed. And I specifically asked you whether you had anything to say about the documents. You said you didn't. Everything was finalized the next day."
There is some sort of recognition in Steve's eyes, so clearly he knows what Tony is talking about. Something which also doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of the team.
Everyone is silent for a while, clearly uncertain how to react.
And usually, this would be the point where Tony speaks up with some sort of solution to best suit everyone's - read: the team's - needs. But not this time. He already did his best with this deal. And the team can either take it or leave it. It's truly out of Tony's hands - thank the gods - and he is utterly unwilling to put even more time into this. Because this situation just goes to show that it simply doesn't matter how much time and effort Tony puts into helping the team. They will seemingly always be dissatisfied no matter what he puts in front of them. So, why even try?
By now, Cap's expression has changed from accusing and angry to sheepish and earnest. And Tony finally understands what Pepper meant by Steve's 'oh-shucks routine' being rather transparent.
"Ah, recently I haven't really been able to keep up with all of the emails coming in. And I thought your emails were just you checking in. I mean, I figured you would let us know if it was urgent." Cap says sheepishly.
You've got to be shitting me. Tony thinks, contrarily finally feeling most of his anger draining out of him. Only for it to promptly be replaced by frustrated exasperation.
Still, he keeps any exacerbating comments on that particularly idiotic statement to himself and instead just sighs. "Steve, those emails were me 'letting you know'."
Pepper however seems entirely unwilling to even let that excuse stand.
"What do you mean by 'all of the emails', Mr. Rogers? You gave SI an email address to be used exclusively for the most pressing legal and PR concerns. I am not aware of numerous urgent matters having been handled by these two departments over the past weeks."
Heh, Pepper is clearly calling bullshit. Tony barely manages to keep his poker face on.
Steve looks entirely apologetic as he says, "I just haven't had the time recently to look through everything. I've just been too busy to keep up."
Pepper is clearly entirely unimpressed.
In contrast, Trenton is now actually starting to look amused. If he weren't so frustrated, Tony might have even joined him in his amusement at the picture of Pepper perfectly poised in a beautiful white pant suit sitting in front of a flustered Captain America. The power dynamic in that image should be amusing.
As it is, the amusement will have to wait.
Tony sighs inaudibly. Only to promptly receive a reprimanding glance from Natashalie.
Oh, fuck off.
Tony has neither the time nor the patience to deal with her particular brand of manipulation right now.
So, he just turns away from her. Tony is honestly too exhausted - and his brain working on too many entirely unrelated and honestly much more important topics - to even try to be offended by her somehow blaming him for this.
Yeah, let's reprimand the guy who tried to keep everyone happy and forget about the guy who screwed up by not reading his emails and still replying to everything, Tony thinks sarcastically, finally feeling his candor return.
There is silence for a few moments.
"So, what now?" Steve finally asks somewhat subdued, of course skipping right over his own screw-up and immediately moving on to asking other people to fix it for him.
Because god forbid, Cap ever admit out loud that he might have messed up. Or goodness me, even apologize, for screwing up in the first place or for groundlessly accusing someone of doing so.
Wanda once more mutters angrily to herself, shooting an angry look in Tony's direction.
He just takes a page out of Pepper's book and completely ignores her.
Because fact is, the deal is already done. Tony asking them for their opinion while the negotiations were still underway, was simply out of courtesy - and to avoid the hassle of dealing with their complaints afterwards, and look how well that turned out - and not because he actually needed their approval.
He owns the Avengers brand. And thus, it is simply within Tony's rights to outsource aspects of it as he pleases. Dear god, he would never get anything done if he actually needed all of his employees' approval to do anything with his various businesses. Sure, it keeps up moral if he asks for their opinions and even more so if he actually takes them into account, but legally there is nothing requiring him to do so.
Hell, he could sell the Avengers brand entirely without needing their permission. It's not like they are blood-bound to the team or something. They just signed a damn contract. If they really don't like it they can always quit and do their own thing.
Not that they will. Because for one, they identify as Avengers and second and more importantly, it's comfortable being an Avenger. Because leaving the team would also mean leaving all the wonderful perks behind. And yeah, Tony can't see that happening any time soon. Whether wartime veteran from the 40s, military man from the present or disgraced Russian Spy, they have all gotten quite used to the comfort of having Tony's resources so readily available.
So point is, the deal is done. And under no circumstances is Tony going to destroy his credibility in DC by pulling out of a deal less than a week after signing it. So, the only question now is how to sell the whole thing to the team.
Thankfully, Tony doesn't actually have to try to come up with something - he doesn't even know if he could right now, stuck somewhere between exhaustion and frustration and disappointment - because this is the point where Trenton decides to integrate himself into the conversation.
"Well, Mr. Rogers, maybe we should ask whether there is anything specific in the documents that you are objecting to?" He asks Cap politely, looking honestly interested.
And Tony keeps his face entirely neutral, not letting any of his amusement show. Because Trenton might look entirely amicable right now, but after working with the man for decades, Tony easily recognizes the mockery in the lawyer's eyes. Everyone here knows that there is no way the team has managed to read - much less understand - the deal since they became aware of it.
But Trenton has always enjoyed making people hang themselves with admissions of their own shortcomings instead of making the effort of pointing them out directly.
Cap clearly doesn't get what the lawyer is doing, because he immediately responds with, "I only just heard about the deal! I haven't yet had the time to read through all the details!"
Which is Cap-speak for, he probably read the summary page on top.
Trenton, the troll, nods and affects a thoughtful expression, "Hm, it seems reasonable to assume that you and your team would want to actually read over the documents detailing the deal first before we discuss any concrete changes?"
Steve promptly looks caught somewhere between anger and embarrassment, at having it pointed out to him that he is currently complaining about something without actually knowing what it entails.
Tony barely manages to suppress his grin.
This is Trenton at his best, although not even close to his most vicious. The man has elevated making other people feel like idiots - without ever stating his own opinion on the matter - to an art form.
Trenton calls it his personal hobby.
The lawyer just blithely continues. "Although, I have to say that any objections right now would come at the worst possible time. The documents are already finalized and as such demanding any changes or amendments now would consequently require us to make concessions somewhere else. Especially, as anything included in the agreement has yet to be implemented and tested, so arguing the necessity of any changes will be quite impossible at this point in time."
What a wonderfully eloquent way of saying that their whining at this point in time is entirely unappreciated and utterly useless.
And Tony knows what is coming next. Seeing as the great Captain America has failed to gain complete agreement to their demands, Steve promptly gives Natashalie a look, the signal that it is now - as always - her turn to try.
As predicted, the Black Widow promptly speaks up. "But shouldn't we consider whether it might be easier to go back to the drawing board now that this deal is still fresh in everyone's mind?"
Trenton raises his eyebrows, this time not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "If you mean what your phrasing of 'going back to the drawing board' suggests, namely to entirely scrap the deal and come up with a new one, then no. It seems ridiculous to expect our contract partner to believe that a new agreement would be upheld on your end if the old one was scrapped just a few days after it was signed."
"But we weren't involved in making that deal." Natasha states consolingly. She is even using her best negotiating voice.
Tony's lawyer, however, remains entirely unmoved. He might not have ever been faced with a trained Russian spy before but Trenton is certainly more than used to people trying to use everything at their disposal to make him give so much as an inch.
Trenton simply says, his voice remaining impressively neutral, "Then, might I suggest you actually read it first before any further steps are discussed?"
There is silence.
And Tony has never seen anyone shut down Natashalie this quickly, calmly and efficiently.
Clearly, Trenton deserves something nice. Maybe a raise? Or his own island in the Bahamas? Tony should still have the deeds for one or two islands lying around his office somewhere.
The call connects and immediately two of his screens are filled with the faces of Senior Agent Ponds and Senior Agent Brooke.
Well, at least that is how the two 'agents' had been introduced to Tony during the DIA deal negotiations.
FRIDAY, however, had quickly pointed out that according to the data from their various hacking escapades through government servers, Brooke is actually the Deputy Operations Director of the DIA. And there is not much at all to be found on Ponds, so Tony can't even begin to guess just how high up he must be on the ladder.
"Dr. Stark, you asked for a quick meeting." Ponds greets.
Tony can practically see the polite impatience oozing from both men. These are two people likely just as insanely busy on a day-to-day basis as Tony.
So, he immediately gets to the point, "Yes, thank you for getting back to me on such short notice. I wanted to let you know about some unexpected complications with the Avengers team."
The two 'agents' are watching him expectantly but nothing shows on their faces.
Once that wonderful - and incredibly disappointing - clusterfuck meeting with the team had finally been over, Tony had briefly conferred with Pepper and Trenton, both of whom had agreed that it would be best to let the DIA in on the newest Avenger-related problem. Because the DIA will find out about this mess as soon as they get in contact with the team and it will make a rather bad impression if they think Tony has deliberately kept them in the dark.
Tony had even used the entirety of the conference call with the Fantastic Four to calm down - good lord, how nice it is to talk to rational human beings from time to time - before making the actual call.
So, Tony decided to let Brooke and Ponds in on today's revelation regarding the team's ignorance about the deal - as neutrally as possible - and that the Avengers might thus need some additional time to acclimatize. Also, he will ask the DIA to assign some of their lawyers to help SI legal with explaining the deal to the team, as a chance to better integrate the Avengers with the agency.
And at the same time he also decided not to so much as indicate to anyone that he knows about the Avengers skipping around Europe at any point. The only one aware that Tony even knows anything is FRIDAY, so he is keeping mum on the matter. Either the DIA figures it out themselves or the team gets lucky.
Simply, it's just not Tony's problem anymore. Halle-fucking-lujah.
It will be the last nice thing he does for the team, not ratting them out. After this, he is simply done. And they'll just have to learn how to act like fucking adults. The entirety of the deal will be explained to them in as much detail as they want and if they don't stick to the agreement after that then they will just have to deal with the damn consequences.
And for that same reason, he is also not going to let them blame this current mess on him. He isn't entirely sure that the team wouldn't try to spin this situation as Tony's screw-up somehow - and doesn't that say a lot about his trust in his former team mates - and he is currently simply investing too much time and too many resources into amassing as much political capital as he possibly can, to risk having the team screw him over now.
The Accords are coming soon and Tony will need every bit of leverage he can get his hands on.
And he is not going to risk his good standing with one of their country's most influential agencies just to cover Steve's inability to read a goddamn email.
Yeah, no more 'Tony will fix it' for the team.
His platypus will be so proud.
A/N: So. What do you think? I know a lot of you already guessed that the team hadn't actually been reading those emails but I hope the initial fallout was still entertaining enough. I tried to keep everyone on the team realistically self-absorbed without letting it turn into actual bashing. But please let me know what you think!
There will be some more DIA deal fallout in the next chapters once the team actually rallies some arguments, but I'm planning to at least keep this sort of tone on Tony's side.
And I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. My muses have recently turned into veritable chatter boxes and instead of speeding things up, I somehow ended up with too many stories in parallel. It is becoming quite difficult to focus on just one story for any decent amount of time, which makes it especially difficult for the more complex ones like this one. I'm really sorry! I'll do my best to go back to the at least semi-regular updates.
On that note, I have already written quite a bit for the next chapter, so I can definitely promise X-Men to be included in that and hopefully it won't take me as long as this one to finish.
As always, thank you my lovely, lovely readers for all your reviews! Those really do keep me hooked on writing :) You are awesome!